The Danger Of Girls With Many Male Friends?

[soulforge]

I feel sorry for the insecure men worried about women having guy friends. Just cuz you can't make female friends, doesn't mean the other gender shouldn't.

We don't make female friends because they don't serve us with Jack chit.

Next time you're car breaks down, go ahead and call your female friend... jokes

 

[CountSuavula]

Some of you jokers are straight up surface thinkers.

You will see a common denominator with young girls who have more male friends than girl friends.

No father figure in the picture.

They look for that masculine presence from a bunch of dudes, who use/fuk/ and abuse them.

and these are the very same girls who are BPD, have depression and damaged to fuk

Whatever man, I’m not getting too upset about any online discussion here.

I navigate relationships the best I know how. And other guys can do as they please and give their intimate partner a longer leash or no leash whatsoever. It barely matters to me if people have a different opinion.

 

[Manure Spherian]

This is the gods truth.

Pretty much all of the hoe behaviour you mentioned above stems from, no father figure in the household.

They look for that lack of a masculine figure in her life, by fvcking a bunch of dudes from age 14 onwards.

Thank you.

You can see from research that fatherless households produce women with higher rates of pregnancy out of wedlock or serious relationships (I say that because I know some men are down on marriage these days), promiscuity, teenage pregnancy, and drug use.

There are also higher chances of poor outcomes in fatherless men. I am glad I am aware all of this as I have a son and a daughter.

I grew up in the Gen X latchkey kid era (fatherless or unsupervised middle-class homes) in the 90's in NY. So I observed all this bullsh-t unfold. Typically these social pathologies affect the lower and middle classes because they have less foresight and brainpower than the upper class.

 

[soulforge]

It's not that simple. I'd judge the nature of those friendships to determine whether it really is mutually platonic or there's obviously tensions present.

Not that hard to spot unless you're emotionally and socially incompetent.

I get where you are coming from.. However this sounds good on paper.

Are they going to have a boner test to see if they have sexual intentions for your girl?

Maybe a lie detector test.. Or you meet each one of her male friends individually, so you can guage what this dude is all about.

That's 12 males freinds, we doing this on one dude a week? Or one dude a month?

Most average men, will never even get to see/meet the dudes she is talking to.. EVER

it sounds doable on paper, but in reality rarely does this level of vetting her male friends ever happen.

 

[soulforge]

Thank you.

You can see from research that fatherless households produce women with higher rates of pregnancy out of wedlock or serious relationships (I say that because I know some men are down on marriage these days), promiscuity, teenage pregnancy, and drug use.

There are also higher chances of poor outcomes in fatherless men. I am glad I am aware all of this as I have a son and a daughter.

I grew up in the Gen X latchkey kid era (fatherless or unsupervised middle-class homes) in the 90's in NY. So I observed all this bullsh-t unfold. Typically these social pathologies affect the lower and middle classes because they have less foresight and brainpower than the upper class.

Guaranteed if a chick tells you she has lots of male friends.. 80% of the time, it will turn out that she is being raised by a single mom & the father is not in the picture.

Girls raised without a father figure in the household tend to start fvking at a very young age, and have high body counts.

They crave for masculine men, however they literally have no idea on how to treat a masculine man with respect, as they have never seen that type of interaction in her home while growing up.

So.. they get dumped alot when they act up.

They generally end up with a bunch of trauma, BPD, turn to alcohol or continue fvking a bunch of losers, NARCS, emotionally unavailable dudes.

 

[BeExcellent]

So that’s my whole point. I’m not calling out @JoyDivision1990 for example, I’m just stating what happens out of insecurity/scarcity. If that was offensive to him? I dunno, check the mirror or your dating experience, that’s all. I have no idea if insecurities and scarcity apply to any individual man around here or not.

I can tell you as a woman who grew up with a great father figure who was a man’s man and who lost virginity in my 20s to a man I was in a LTR with for years, I didn’t need nor seek male attention. It always has come looking for me, even when I’ve downplayed my looks by not wearing make up and by wearing unrevealing clothing (shrugs).

I don’t disagree that there are women with daddy issues, I’m just not that girl.

Emotionally healthy people are self assured and have solid boundaries. Why that is news I’m not sure except that certainly past the 20s those women are relatively rare in the SMP. They occasionally pop up post divorce (as in my case) or post death of a spouse (as in Atom Smasher’s wife’s case) but you’ve got to be a good enough guy to be visible to high quality women because she’s inundated with great choices trust me.

I’ve been the dumper in all but 1 of my relationships over my life. And that 1 who dumped me betrayed me at 21 and I wouldn’t speak to him anymore, so you could say I dumped him too really.

It’s not a desperate perspective, let’s leave it at that.

 

[NealIRC]

We don't make female friends because they don't serve us with Jack chit.

Next time you're car breaks down, go ahead and call your female friend... jokes

What would be the issue for that? I'm not insecure to ask a woman for help.

 

[Serenity]

Most relationships will go through a weak spot, it's inevitable in 2023.. It doesn't mean the relationship is fuked, it just means some work/effort maybe be required to fix the situation.

However throw in a bunch of dudes/freinds who are waiting for a vunerabile moment in your girl, and let's see how quickly things go from fixable to totally fuked.

You're missing my point. Whether she has dudes around or not doesn't change the fact that if the relationship hits a rough spot she's more willing to run away from it than to take her side of the responsibility to fix it.

I'm saying that if she's a keeper she won't allow it despite having the option. If you're with a chick you know would jump ship so easily in a little rough spot if she has the option, then what the fvck are you even trying to save?

Cheating is just one way of avoiding responsibility, if she has this character flaw there's a lot of other ways she'll dodge responsibility anyways. If she doesn't have this character flaw, then it doesn't matter whether she has male friends.

The only point of your suggested restriction is to save the relationship with a flawed woman, because if she doesn't have this flaw then it doesn't matter.

 

[Serenity]

If a man has adequate social and emotional skills, he can figure out which male friends would be problematic vs. the ones that wouldn't be problematic. Like I said above, it is an effort to do that and some men don't desire to make that effort.

And those men will pay the price of their laziness. Willful ignorance is a really bad idea when dealing with women.

 

[Serenity]

I get where you are coming from.. However this sounds good on paper.

Are they going to have a boner test to see if they have sexual intentions for your girl?

Maybe a lie detector test.. Or you meet each one of her male friends individually, so you can guage what this dude is all about.

That's 12 males freinds, we doing this on one dude a week? Or one dude a month?

Most average men, will never even get to see/meet the dudes she is talking to.. EVER

it sounds doable on paper, but in reality rarely does this level of vetting her male friends ever happen.

If she doesn't see her male friends, are they even really friends? Even this dynamic will reveal information about what type of friends they are and why she's communicating with them.

You don't have to run elaborate tests if you're relatively aware and attentive of what's going on around you. The woman is also a source of information. You can ask rather benign questions and extract a lot of information from the responses if you pay attention, without seeming controlling or untrusting.

It seems you're just not that good at reading things between the lines, otherwise you'd get what I'm saying. Over a bit if time you'll have to be fairly ignorant to not pick up on it.

 

[member162951]

So that’s my whole point. I’m not calling out @JoyDivision1990 for example, I’m just stating what happens out of insecurity/scarcity. If that was offensive to him? I dunno, check the mirror or your dating experience, that’s all. I have no idea if insecurities and scarcity apply to any individual man around here or not.

I can tell you as a woman who grew up with a great father figure who was a man’s man and who lost virginity in my 20s to a man I was in a LTR with for years, I didn’t need nor seek male attention. It always has come looking for me, even when I’ve downplayed my looks by not wearing make up and by wearing unrevealing clothing (shrugs).

I don't disagree that there are women with daddy issues, I’m just not that girl.

Emotionally healthy people are self assured and have solid boundaries. Why that is news I’m not sure except that certainly past the 20s those women are relatively rare in the SMP. They occasionally pop up post divorce (as in my case) or post death of a spouse (as in Atom Smasher’s wife’s case) but you’ve got to be a good enough guy to be visible to high quality women because she’s inundated with great choices trust me.

I’ve been the dumper in all but 1 of my relationships over my life. And that 1 who dumped me betrayed me at 21 and I wouldn’t speak to him anymore, so you could say I dumped him too really.

It’s not a desperate perspective, let’s leave it at that.

Thanks for this^ Be.

But tbh not quite sure why you're taking the responses about women having daddy issues etc so personally that you would need to clarify your position and thought process about it.

It's already been acknowledged that YOU are "not that girl," you are an anomaly, different from the norm of what many men experience, a law unto yourself. An exception to the rule.

And as I and a few others have said, I believe everything you've posted about your male friendships, the boundaries, the mutual respect.. I get it!

And I have no doubt that your male friendships provide a lot of value in your life and vice versa.

MY only point was that for them, other than the fact that you are a great and loyal friend, given that they are attracted to you (as evidenced by your post stating if you weren't friends, they'd hit on you), perhaps something else is also at play - for them.

This is why it's been said that men and women can't really be "just friends" because of the male/female polarity/attraction factor. It's human nature for goodness sakes.

That said, enjoy your friendships! It sounds like y'all have A LOT of respect for each other, and as long as no one is stepping over any boundaries, it's ALL good!

 

[soulforge]

You're missing my point. Whether she has dudes around or not doesn't change the fact that if the relationship hits a rough spot she's more willing to run away from it than to take her side of the responsibility to fix it.

I'm saying that if she's a keeper she won't allow it despite having the option. If you're with a chick you know would jump ship so easily in a little rough spot if she has the option, then what the fvck are you even trying to save?

Cheating is just one way of avoiding responsibility, if she has this character flaw there's a lot of other ways she'll dodge responsibility anyways. If she doesn't have this character flaw, then it doesn't matter whether she has male friends.

The only point of your suggested restriction is to save the relationship with a flawed woman, because if she doesn't have this flaw then it doesn't matter.

There is no such thing as a keeper man.

ALL woman are suseptable to cheating, monkey branching, given the right conditions & circumstances.

It's about Risk management. If you don't set boundaries, you will maximize the risk of cheating.

Literally TONS of men have been with chicks who they felt where a KEEPER & got screwed over by her monkey branching.

Good woman are divorcing good men at unprecedented rates in the West. These are not evil women, they simply found/discoverd the bigger better deal, or the marriage hit a difficult patch & her friend Tyrone offered her a shoulder to cry on, and she accidentally fell onto his dik.

We can never stop a woman from cheating, all we can do as men is, to minimize the risk of it happening by setting firm boundaries.

 

[soulforge]

I know because it’s been openly discussed. I’m not guessing. One of the reasons it works is because I’m cool company. I’ve had guy friends say to my face and in a group that I’m like a dude in a hot chicks body. I know MANY desirable men. I don’t lust after them. That’s what desperate women do, they lust after men they don’t qualify for. I’ve got a sexy af guy who I’m with. That itch is just fine thank you very much.

My male friends have no issue getting laid. They know many beautiful women and meet more all the time if that’s the phase they are in. I’m also older than two of my closest guy friends by 8 years and by 13 years respectively. They are interested in younger girls in their 20s/30s. So no, they aren’t secretly lusting after me I promise.

If YOU can’t wrap your head around the concept above then YOU are either insecure about your ability to attract and keep a desirable woman and/or you are in a scarcity mindset or both.

This is NOT rocket science. A satisfied lion does not devour every piece of meat that gets within reach. I run with lions, not hyenas.

The amount of men that have NO PROBLEM getting laid are very few in this day and age.

Most average men are INVISIBLE to even the most average looking girl.

Hell most men are lucky to even get laid once a year. Again your talking from your own personal experience again. Maybe your friends have no problem getting laid because they are chads.

But take the vast majority of men? Hell they have no choice but porn and only fans.

80% of men are invisible on dating apps, approaching chicks on the street can get you a sexu-al assault or harrasment wrap.

Its these very same thirsty/sexless men, who try to become FRIENDS with your girl, because it is their only hope of getting a crumb of puzzy.

 

[soulforge]

So that’s my whole point. I’m not calling out @JoyDivision1990 for example, I’m just stating what happens out of insecurity/scarcity. If that was offensive to him? I dunno, check the mirror or your dating experience, that’s all. I have no idea if insecurities and scarcity apply to any individual man around here or not.

I can tell you as a woman who grew up with a great father figure who was a man’s man and who lost virginity in my 20s to a man I was in a LTR with for years, I didn’t need nor seek male attention. It always has come looking for me, even when I’ve downplayed my looks by not wearing make up and by wearing unrevealing clothing (shrugs).

I don’t disagree that there are women with daddy issues, I’m just not that girl.

Emotionally healthy people are self assured and have solid boundaries. Why that is news I’m not sure except that certainly past the 20s those women are relatively rare in the SMP. They occasionally pop up post divorce (as in my case) or post death of a spouse (as in Atom Smasher’s wife’s case) but you’ve got to be a good enough guy to be visible to high quality women because she’s inundated with great choices trust me.

I’ve been the dumper in all but 1 of my relationships over my life. And that 1 who dumped me betrayed me at 21 and I wouldn’t speak to him anymore, so you could say I dumped him too really.

It’s not a desperate perspective, let’s leave it at that.

@Be not sure why you keep presenting yourself as an example to challenge the overall point we are making lol

We all understand that you had a father and you are overall a healthy person.

This is not about you.

I'm in the UK and we have a massive absent father's problem here in the UK.

We also have a massive teen pregnancy problem here too, these are girls age 15-18 who are having children with dudes they hardly even know.

The common theme in the vast majority of cases is, these chicks have a chit ton of male friends & are very comfortable around dudes, and dudes want to get laid.

These girls never had that protective masculine figure in there lives, so they seek that masculine presence from many different dudes, by having sex with them.

 

[NealIRC]

Let's not delve into the argument that a woman who has a bf shouldn't have guy friends because she can cheat on her bf. Talk about even bigger insecurities. (I'm not saying anyone is making that argument, or leaning towards it, I'm just saying I hope nobody implies that.).

 

[CountSuavula]

BeExcellent, has derailed the entire topic discussion just talking about her own damn self,
showboating around and telling the world how spectacular she is and how well adjusted
and healthy the world surrounding her is. And how everyone is so messed up except her
and her perfect social circle of perfection.

It was entertaining though. Like reading the National Enquirer.

 

[CountSuavula]

Most average men are INVISIBLE to even the most average looking

I can disagree with this. The females check us out, but females basically have eyes behind their heads.

Men have sharp shooter range of eye sight, so if we look at her boobs we look at them directly and get caught.
Women have very wide range of vision, so they can observe men in side glances so they have that advantage.

 

[Serenity]

There is no such thing as a keeper man.

If this is your belief then I don't see why you'd even bother with a relationship, I wouldn't.

ALL woman are suseptable to cheating, monkey branching, given the right conditions & circumstances.

Half truth. Keep in mind that several conditions and circumstances are within your control and are your responsibility. If you're an inadequate man it shouldn't come as a surprise if she leaves. I would correct this to "NO woman will remain faithful through ALL conditions and circumstances", they also have boundaries.

Literally TONS of men have been with chicks who they felt where a KEEPER & got screwed over by her monkey branching

Literally TONS of men have poor judgement. I have no doubt a lot of men think they found a keeper and wholeheartedly believe so, but many didn't do their due diligence of challenging their beliefs adequately to make sure it's true.

Good woman are divorcing good men at unprecedented rates in the West

One or both of them weren't good, otherwise there wouldn't be a divorce. While they may believe so about themselves, at least one of them made at least one bad decision at some point leading up to that result. It's a lot more complex than you're making it out to be, what you're presenting is just a small sliver of a lot of different reasons people go for divorce. It's more often tied to poor choices in the past than temptations in the future.

The temptation to "slip onto Tyrone's d!ck" is symptom, the causes of said symptom would kill the relationship either way. Typically the problems that causes cheating have very often built up over a long time without being properly resolved. It typically doesn't just happen out of the blue.

We can never stop a woman from cheating, all we can do as men is, to minimize the risk of it happening by setting firm boundaries.

Boundaries are not enough. You can set all the boundaries in the world, but if you don't proactively maintain a good relationship and bond then she is going to leave your ass whether that's through cheating, branch swinging or simply just leaving because being alone is better than being with you.

Too strict boundaries will work against your interests as well as it can hurt the bond, she'll feel too restricted and ultimately unhappy being with you. Thus INCREASING the chance she'll cheat, swing or leave. You gotta be mindful of what boundaries you put up. Restricting others social contact is generally regarded as a red flag for a controlling/jealous type person, is a sign of mistrust and disliked by most people.

 

[NealIRC]

BeExcellent, has derailed the entire topic discussion just talking about her own damn self,
showboating around and telling the world how spectacular she is and how well adjusted
and healthy the world surrounding her is. And how everyone is so messed up except her
and her perfect social circle of perfection.

It was entertaining though. Like reading the National Enquirer.

But she's right. You're all bummed insecure about women having guy friends.

 

[soulforge]

If this is your belief then I don't see why you'd even bother with a relationship, I wouldn't.


Half truth. Keep in mind that several conditions and circumstances are within your control and are your responsibility. If you're an inadequate man it shouldn't come as a surprise if she leaves. I would correct this to "NO woman will remain faithful through ALL conditions and circumstances", they also have boundaries.


Literally TONS of men have poor judgement. I have no doubt a lot of men think they found a keeper and wholeheartedly believe so, but many didn't do their due diligence of challenging their beliefs adequately to make sure it's true.


One or both of them weren't good, otherwise there wouldn't be a divorce. While they may believe so about themselves, at least one of them made at least one bad decision at some point leading up to that result. It's a lot more complex than you're making it out to be, what you're presenting is just a small sliver of a lot of different reasons people go for divorce. It's more often tied to poor choices in the past than temptations in the future.

The temptation to "slip onto Tyrone's d!ck" is symptom, the causes of said symptom would kill the relationship either way. Typically the problems that causes cheating have very often built up over a long time without being properly resolved. It typically doesn't just happen out of the blue.


Boundaries are not enough. You can set all the boundaries in the world, but if you don't proactively maintain a good relationship and bond then she is going to leave your ass whether that's through cheating, branch swinging or simply just leaving because being alone is better than being with you.

Too strict boundaries will work against your interests as well as it can hurt the bond, she'll feel too restricted and ultimately unhappy being with you. Thus INCREASING the chance she'll cheat, swing or leave. You gotta be mindful of what boundaries you put up. Restricting others social contact is generally regarded as a red flag for a controlling/jealous type person, is a sign of mistrust and disliked by most people.

I agree having way too many boundaries is going to be couter productive.

But the no male friends boundaries is something most men would apply & I believe it's a reasonable boundary.