The Cold Approach...

[SeldomSeen]

RE:

I used this approach a few years ago and it served me well. At first I thought I would send a message that I was uninterested but one of my best friends would meet girls with a buttoned lip and head nod with being introduced. He always acted as he didnt care and I thought he would get shot down but he ALWAYS and I mean ALWAYS went home with the girls. These girls would even say to me at the club "is your friend an ******* or something...is he conceited.." but at the end of the night they were going home back to his or her place.

When I first adopted it, it felt weird because I was always sort of a comedian - get em to laugh kind of guy but I realized I cant do that with everyone woman so some women would get the stare and closed lip greeting. It upped my seductions by atleast 25 percent and then I could loosen up a little at a time and make em laugh.

 

[KOSR]

Originally posted by Duke
TD has discussed at length on mASF why "Hi" is poor opener. Do a search for it if you're interested in learning why.

I've only done 2 cold approaches or so and just started direct with rapport, like Hi, or What's your name?, felt kinda akward.

It's better to make some situational ****y+comment when opening right?

 

[Microphone Fiend]

Originally posted by Duke
TD has discussed at length on mASF why "Hi" is poor opener. Do a search for it if you're interested in learning why.

But he concedes that it works for certain people such as Juggler. TD is into not showing attraction before rapport, and Juggler shows attraction from the get go, both have different styles but they both work to varying degrees

 

[Mr. Mystery II]

In my experience a comfident smile and hello work great. But I don't always open with it. I don't really have a diagramed game plan, I just go. If you asked me how I opened a girl after I just talked to her, I probably wouldn't be able to remember to tell you. Open with something that you feel natural saying, but don't think too hard about it, you will appear very geeky if you had thought too much about what you were gonna say before you say it. Occasionally girl will hit on me, and the sh!t they say is rediculous, situational openers galore. I know if I stepped to a girl with some of the stuff I've heard I'd get laughed at.

I had a short ASF phase and never got too into it. Way to many structures and styles to meeting women. Meeting women is not complicated, there is no need for structures and styles. But whatever gets you out there and talking to these ladies.

Mr. Mystery

 

[Mr. Mystery II]

Originally posted by Ladiesssman
Is cold approach only for western and european girls? What aboout some the asian girls who are so conservatiive? Will they work?

I met quite a few Asian girls over here in America, I couldn't tell you from experience how Eastern women act, but all I'm saying is be confident and natural when meeting women, which works universally.

Mr. Mystery

 

[Mr. Mystery II]

bump.

Mr. Mystery

 

[Cyledehysp]

Damn thats some useful stuff, mr Mystery! Thanx.

 

[Mr. Mystery II]

bump.

Mr. Mystery

 

[NoMoreMisterNiceGuy]

Originally posted by Mr. Mystery II
In my experience a comfident smile and hello work great. But I don't always open with it.




Mr. Mystery

do you say "HI" or "heeey" only while making eye contact ?

 

[Brak86]

Everyone has their own favorite posts. THis one definately is one of them. Its because i can relate to this post and especially to Mr. Mystery II. I see a bit of myself in him when he said he used to "need" an excuse to flirt with girls. That IS me. Thanks dude. I needed that and im happier for reading that.

 

[Mr. Mystery II]

Originally posted by NoMoreMisterNiceGuy
do you say "HI" or "heeey" only while making eye contact ?

I'm not quite sure what you mean?

If your asking if you should wait for eye-contact before approaching, then the answer is no, you should go after whoever you want to go after.

If your asking if you make eye-contact while saying HI or heeey, then yes you should definetly be looking at them while talking to them.

Brak86,

Thanks man, glad I could help.

Mr. Mystery

 

[NoMoreMisterNiceGuy]

Originally posted by Mr. Mystery II
I'm not quite sure what you mean?

If your asking if you should wait for eye-contact before approaching, then the answer is no, you should go after whoever you want to go after.

If your asking if you make eye-contact while saying HI or heeey, then yes you should definetly be looking at them while talking to them.

Brak86,

Thanks man, glad I could help.

Mr. Mystery

I'm asking if I should wait for eye-contact before saying "Hi" if I don't get eye-contact should I open with a "HI" ?

 

[Enzo]

I am convinced that almost anything is a good opener as long as it is said with sincerity and confidence. I am getting over my fear of chatting to women I dont know and trying to fit someone elses model of what I should be does not work cause once I have said their line I have nothing left to say. I think women like being approached and chatted to by guys who are not being jerks.

I was in the library and sat with this HB8 and just asked her for a tissue cause I had a runny nose. After that we just got talking. I was kind of nervous and I did not get her number cause I thought I would see her again (Wrong! ) However she seemed glad that I just spoke to her.

I think that most women are frustrated because so many guys are AFC and wont show them interest beyond shy wolf whistles etc. A guy approaching with confidence is rare and a treat to them. Many are literally waiting for Mr right to sweep them off their feet and it aint that hard with practice.

I dont mind the turn downs or the knockback cause I know one day I will have this thing licked (pun intended) and will eventually marry the woman of my dreams and be the man of her dreams.

 

[Mr. Mystery II]

Originally posted by NoMoreMisterNiceGuy
I'm asking if I should wait for eye-contact before saying "Hi" if I don't get eye-contact should I open with a "HI" ?

As Enzo said, you can open with anything. "Hi" works, but there is no need assign an opener to certain situations. Use whatever opener you want, experiment with it, find out what works for you.

And no, you aren't always gonna get eye-contact, especially from girls that are secretly checking you out.

I remember when I was still new at this, I parked next to this girl at CVS, she got out of her car and was totally checking me out, we held eye contact for a few seconds and she went on her way into the store. When I got in the store I looked around for her and when I found her she wouldn't look in my direction. I was confused a bit but I approached anyway. I walked about 20 feet toward her and she still wouldn't acknowledge me. Finally after walking what felt like a mile I said hi, and she lit up and was very very pleased to talk to me.

Just because she is not looking at you or making it obvious that she wants you to approach, doesn't at all mean that she isn't interested, usually just the opposite.

So don't wait for EC, and open with whatever you feel like opening with, but don't doubt yourself, be confident and a bit aloof.

Mr. Mystery

 

[Mr. Mystery II]

I'm gonna keep reminding yall!

Mr. Mystery

 

[The-Sultan]

good post, im aiming for 3 cold approaches today

 

[ApocalypseCow2]

I'm reading an interesting book right now by Leil Lowndes. In it, she says that the first couple sentences out of your mouth are mostly irrelevant (as long as it isn't rude), since the person is mostly judging you on looks and body language at that point. I think this makes sense.

She goes further on to say that the more banal you are, the better. Not sure if I'd take it that far, but I do agree that the words that come out of your mouth are probably the *least* important part of opening.

 

[Mr. Mystery II]

Originally posted by ApocalypseCow2
I'm reading an interesting book right now by Leil Lowndes. In it, she says that the first couple sentences out of your mouth are mostly irrelevant (as long as it isn't rude), since the person is mostly judging you on looks and body language at that point. I think this makes sense.

She goes further on to say that the more banal you are, the better. Not sure if I'd take it that far, but I do agree that the words that come out of your mouth are probably the *least* important part of opening.

Leil Lowndes, why does that sound so farmiliar?

Edit:

Just looked her up, I remember now, I read "How to make anyone fall in love with you" about a year or so ago. Not one I got too much out of, but I had taken communication classes and was already a member here before I started reading it...

Mr. Mystery

 

[ApocalypseCow2]

Originally posted by Mr. Mystery II
Leil Lowndes, why does that sound so farmiliar?

Mr. Mystery

I got her name from this forum. I'm reading her book "How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Tips". It is *very* good. I thought it would just be a lot fo common sense stuff, but I'm actually learning a lot from it.

 

[Mr. Mystery II]

bump.

Mr. Mystery