The child-man

KarmaSutra

Banned
Joined
Oct 13, 2005
Messages
4,821
Reaction score
142
Age
51
Location
Padron Reserve maduro in hand while finishing my b
Obviously by virtue of owning a self cleaning oven this kook pigeonholes every guy under 29 as and immature brat and slacker who thrive on hash brownies and Doritos.

But. She's got some points which do hit the proverbial nail on it's head. Here are a couple of note:

What really set Maxim apart from other men's mags was its voice. It was the sound of guys hanging around the Animal House living room. Maxim asked the SYM what he wanted and learned that he didn't want to grow up. And now the Maxim child-man voice has gone mainstream. You're that 26-year-old who wants sophomoric fun and macho action? Now the culture has a groaning table of entertainment with your name on it.


That sound you hear is women not laughing. Oh, some women get a kick out of child-men and their frat/fart jokes. But for many, the child-man is either an irritating mystery or a source of heartbreak. In contemporary female writing and conversation, the words "immature" and "men" seem united in perpetuity.
True todays boy-man doesn't have much in the way of proper guidance to get over the boyhood hump but does that encompass ALL men under 29? I think not. Let's continue:

Consider: In 1970, 69 percent of 25-year-old and 85 percent of 30-year-old white men were married; in 2000, only 33 percent and 58 percent were, respectively. And the percentage of young guys tying the knot is declining as you read this. Census Bureau data show that the median age of marriage among men rose from 26.8 in 2000 to 27.5 in 2006 – a dramatic demographic shift for such a short time period.
I chalk this up to sour grapes. Men are more discerning about the women we're going to trust our possessions and money with. Love, for lack of a better word, is a commodity men can learn to live withour for comfort and peace of mind. Women cannot.

This bird has a little more to stir the pot:

That adds up to tens of millions more young men blissfully free of mortgages, wives and child-care bills. Historically, marketers have found this group an "elusive audience" – the phrase is permanently affixed to "men between 18 and 34" in adspeak – largely immune to the pleasures of magazines and television, as well as to shopping expeditions for the products advertised there.
The "American dream" in ruins. Pissed that women don't often get the nod as single Mothers for heavy loans from the bank for the house and the picket fence. While banks and credit card companies are showering money and credit on young, SINGLE, men with no mattresses on thier backs.

Still a bit more:
With women, you could argue that adulthood is in fact emergent. Single women in their 20s and early 30s are joining an international New Girl Order, hyper-achieving in both school and an increasingly female-friendly workplace, while packing leisure hours with shopping, traveling and dining with friends.

I find the need to interject in this crones' assessment of women as mature thinking adults while playing with thier Barbie dolls dreaming of that fantasy wedding. It's a crock of utter sh!t and we know it." Modern woman" has an air of forthrightousness which seems to intriguibly lack any social responsiblity.

Single young males, or SYMs, by contrast, often seem to hang out in a playground of drinking, hooking up, playing Halo 3 and, in many cases, underachieving. With them, adulthood looks as though it's receding.
Because men now realize the amount of choices we have. The abundance of available women makes a mans marketability skyrocket while she has to ponder the ramifications of her societal reputation. He does as well, but it doesn't factor in anywhere near the magnitude.

What I got out of this article is an old bird who regrets the choices she's made but instead of accepting her reality it's much more comforting to blame it on the younger men demographic whom she allowed to use and then throw away.
 

Drum&Bass

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 13, 2005
Messages
1,208
Reaction score
35
Age
44
Location
I travel
So, when things don't work out in womens favor we get :

1.) Happier men who have more control over their lives.

2.) Women who are forced to become smarter better people.

3.) Some long over due balance to the worlds over population (since men aren't starting families anymore).

4.) A world of intelligent independent people who are able to appreciate each other without women being dependent on men for resources (so gold digging and game playing will be at an all time low).

it's a WIN WIN situation !! All because men are learning that they don't have to be controlled by women and the media anymore !!!
 

joekerr31

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 20, 2005
Messages
3,395
Reaction score
110
Age
50
gotta love it when women write articles about men and how immature they are.

hand picking out the male who doesn't take his career seriously and plays xbox and drinks all the time is the equivalent of hand picking out the female who has 4 kids by the time shes 25, is 40 pounds overweight and has a mess for a house.

there are TONS of educated men who are doing very well in the careers. these men 100 times as mature as men in the 1960s (most of whom drank excessively, were only high school educated, and were highly uninvolved in the family beyond coming home and expecting dinner to be on the table).

todays male is independent. he does his own cooking. his own cleaning. manages his finances. (many) know how to pursue the pursuit of happiness with or without a woman (ie. are psychologically healthy). etc.

men aren't marrying women for a number of reasons...

1) women are low quality compared to the 60s. a woman has no interest in cooking, cleaning, etc. or doing any other 'traditional' women things, but want all the benefits of having an afc man who puts her on a pedastal.

2) men are very aware that women consider it acceptable to leave a marriage at any point. given mens experience with branch swinging, this makes men very leary of getting hitched (as their experience with women is that eventually they hit a point where they want 'a break').

3) men have seen millions of other men get married, get divorced and then advise other men 'don't do it!'

4) as religion has declined, people no longer hold to the notion that 'having children' is the point of life. for many, the point of life is to LIVE life, experience as much as possible. settling down and having kids restricts what you can experience in life. people like their freedom, and once you have kids you freedom is restricted (due to having to look after them, the money it takes to raise them, etc.)

5) thanks to the likes of oprah women have become pseudo-experts at tearing men down and now have a fairly broad lexicon in doing so. men aren't getting married because men aren't being valued highly enough to make them want to make that kind of a committment.

6) the break down of hte nuclear family has conditioned everyone to the state of living in the world outside a family setting. as such less people are afraid of being alone. moreover, there are plenty of distractions now a days. in the old days there were 3 channels on the tv, so life was boring. today there are gyms, computers, internet, 600+ channels, all kinds of hobbies, etc. - having 'time to yourself' is great.

7) ultimately, and this is the simple truth, if women actually were 'prizes' men would be jumping to settle down. and regardless if we know the reasons, or can articulate them, it must be accepted as a basic truth that women obviously aren't bringing enough to the table to entice men to embrace the notion of marriage.

men not marrying, or marrying later, has NOTHING to do with their careers or xbox's and its idiotic to purport that such is the case (as the writer does).

men are not less mature, men are more mature - they are NOT making the mistake their fathers made. this is called evolution. most men are open to marriage, but more than ever before know what it means they are getting themselves into - so they won't do it unless they meet a woman that qualifies. which leads to the obvious and evident face that women clearly are not qualifying when it comes to possessing the long-term traits that men are looking for in a partner.

simple as that.
 

reset

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 25, 2007
Messages
2,200
Reaction score
58
If I had read this article a few years ago I would have taken the woman's side. Now it just seems like she's whining. Who the hell cares what this chick thinks and how she thinks men should be? If women refused to be with guys who weren't married with children and owned their own home by 26, then that's all that guys would do----to get chicks. Maybe I'm bitter, lol.

But, at 31 I am only just starting to grow up, with the help of this place. I mean so what. We're living longer. So just add ten more years of fun. Jay-Z said 30 is the new 20 so that's that.
 

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

MacAvoy

Banned
Joined
May 10, 2003
Messages
2,940
Reaction score
35
Location
Northern Ontario
reset said:
If I had read this article a few years ago I would have taken the woman's side. Now it just seems like she's whining. Who the hell cares what this chick thinks and how she thinks men should be?
I agree and I don't understand the fascination with all these articles being posted about men & women outlining how society is? If we are supposedly trying to live like DJ's then what does it really matter how one person views society or how one person acts.

We are our own people and hopefully those that choose to visit this site aren't going to let society get to them. You have to govern yourself according to what you want out of life.

I don't see how posting this stuff helps us out? It merely focusses on the negative.
 

reset

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 25, 2007
Messages
2,200
Reaction score
58
Only because I've been conditioned to not listen to women when it comes to what women want. So anything I read "men should do this" I just think "do the opposite". At this point I don't trust women when it comes to them talking about what they want from men.

She probably wrote that article after being dumped by a guy just like that.

Obviously that's a HUGE generalization, but it's working so far.
Eventually I'll have a more balanced view.
 

STR8UP

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 10, 2002
Messages
6,911
Reaction score
123
I know a small handful of slackers, but all this woman is doing is trying to shame men into "growing up" by generalizing them as being more interested in being a slackass than having a mature relationship.

I PRIDE myself in hot having "grown up". Why would I want to be like most of my friends who are now divorced (or in a bad marriage) with several kids? What was the point? To conform to society's idea of the "norm". To avoid the fate of the "lonely old man". What a crock.

Fact of the matter is, women have made their bed, and true to form they refuse to acknowledge that they were sold a pipe dream so they refuse to lie in it. Blame anyone but yourself.....
 

mzilla2

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 15, 2007
Messages
134
Reaction score
1
For as much as the author seems to identify men in such a situation, I can think of just as many women that are in the same mindset...
 

AlphaSoldier

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2007
Messages
69
Reaction score
32
MacAvoy said:
I don't see how posting this stuff helps us out? It merely focusses on the negative.
As a matter of fact, my point posting it was that 25-yo young guys being immature means more room for us, 35-yo men, to chase the 20-something chicks.

-AS
 

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

Mr.Positive

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 13, 2007
Messages
1,857
Reaction score
100
Danger said:
I find the marriage interpretation interesting. Only several months ago it was less than 50% of women in households were married, choosing to be independent.

Now that someone has chosen to look at the masculine side of that equation, men choose not to marry simply because they are childish.
I was thinking this exact same thing Danger.

It's a shaming tactic, to paint the picture that in order to be a mature man, we must be married. To do so otherwise, would mean that we are selfish and 'child-like'.

The way I see it, it's a last resort tactic that displays weakness, because to challenge it, would mean maybe...just maybe, men don't fit into some preconceived 'box'. A stereotype that would take any sort of uniqueness away.

Smart smokescreen, a diversion the real issue.

Let people think we are immature I say!!

While society wallows on that, I'll focus on living the best life I can, and focusing on making a difference, in ways that will be overlooked.
 

joekerr31

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 20, 2005
Messages
3,395
Reaction score
110
Age
50
the dalah lama is 'child-like'

alan watts was child-like.

george clooney is child-like.

heck, most of the most successful / smartest men in the world were / are child-like.

its an illusion that being successful means you can't enjoy the world with a child like passion and enthusiasm.
 

Master Bates

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 26, 2007
Messages
1,007
Reaction score
10
I'll sum up my thoughts on the article with a little translation:

"It's time to state what is now obvious to legions of frustrated young women: The limbo doesn't bring out the best in young men."
-->
"It's time to state what is now obvious to legions of frustrated young women: The limbo doesn't bring out the best for us women. Wahh wahh."
 

reset

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 25, 2007
Messages
2,200
Reaction score
58
Hell even Jesus said be child-like. I don't want to grow up. I don't mind being a responsible adult but I never want to feel "old" and out of touch.
 

synergy1

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2006
Messages
1,992
Reaction score
192
I would say I agree with the assessment of males in this age, but that is where it ends. As mentioned, this article pigeon holes men as immature, apathetic slackers with no interest in bettering themselves. While maybe true for a few , this is obviously completely untrue for the driven individuals who exhibit patience regarding marriage.

Today many men are aware of just how busted the concept of marriage is. Between family experiences, and hearing from others all around the country via message boards, men put on the breaks in this aspect of life. Between the massive amount of education one needs to compete in this work world, the massive debt incurred from said college education...men do not want to put themselves in additional risk of marriage while juggling all these other problems.
 

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

wjh

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 26, 2004
Messages
998
Reaction score
27
Location
Los Angeles, SFV
Why would "growing up" and becoming a "man" necessitate MARRYING and knocking up just another bird?

Today's young men are finally STARTING to understand that they don't have to be forced into a marriage by a woman who is NOT special, who is NOT what they REALLY want JUST because society (women) tell them they have to.

I was ONCE convinced there was ONE woman I was going to marry. It was my last LTR. She was born in the Ukraine, beautiful, and had all the non-American/non-Westernized values I cherished. She slowly started to change, however, after graduating college and entering the corporate world. She had other issues that caused the deterioration of our relationship BUT, one MAJOR issue I had was her choosing of a career as her number one priority versus a potential family. This was all discovered over various talks, I wasn't exactly ready for marriage, but I had thought about it. Anyway, this seemingly new attitude she possessed manifested itself in several ways but the most VIVID way was her casual attitude toward what MY ideal family/marriage dynamic would be. Marriage is a partnership, afterall.

Tom Leykis speaks of this great example of a career woman. He gives the example of being married to her and coming home to a house with the lights off. That hints at the lack of warmth and comfort I EXPECT from a woman I would marry. Otherwise, what's the point? For me, there is none.

And if women want young men like me with a future they have to figure out that the path to our commitment to them and "growing up" (as defined by this author) is NOT their vaginas or forced acceptance of new-age feminist ideals. It just WON'T happen. I'd rather be a playboy and live in bachelorhood for the rest of my days.

The thought of castrating myself with a marriage commitment to a "modern" woman is gut-wrenching and implausible.

This author just reinforces my beliefs.
 

wjh

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 26, 2004
Messages
998
Reaction score
27
Location
Los Angeles, SFV
STR8UP said:
I know a small handful of slackers, but all this woman is doing is trying to shame men into "growing up" by generalizing them as being more interested in being a slackass than having a mature relationship.

I PRIDE myself in hot having "grown up". Why would I want to be like most of my friends who are now divorced (or in a bad marriage) with several kids? What was the point? To conform to society's idea of the "norm". To avoid the fate of the "lonely old man". What a crock.

Fact of the matter is, women have made their bed, and true to form they refuse to acknowledge that they were sold a pipe dream so they refuse to lie in it. Blame anyone but yourself.....
Spot on.

And since when is ENJOYING yourself immature? Since it didn't rely on "taking care of" a woman? Heck, if you're independent, pay all your bills, don't break any serious laws, how immoral and BAD are you really? I HATE shaming language designed to get men to COWER into conforming to a feminist ideal. Drives me up the wall.
 

AlphaSoldier

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2007
Messages
69
Reaction score
32
wjh said:
And if women want young men like me with a future they have to figure out that the path to our commitment to them and "growing up" (as defined by this author) is NOT their vaginas or forced acceptance of new-age feminist ideals. It just WON'T happen. I'd rather be a playboy and live in bachelorhood for the rest of my days.
I think some guys in this board need a reality check.

Unless you become extremely wealthy or successful, you're not going to lead Hugh Heffner's life in your 40s or 50s. Simply put, that's not going to happen. Period.

You are more likely to have an accident or develop cancer than being Cary Grant redux. And, if that happens, you better have some woman by your side to look after you.

Listen, I agree that marriage today is a huge bet for men. But, provided you find the right woman, you should eventually marry and have kids. A good marriage brings about long-term good benefits for us men, and although I agree having kids is not for everyone and might be a pain in the azz and the wallet, they are generally a source of joy.

Again, the key is to find the right chick. Unfortunately, common wisdom in this board doesn't help really much as the ultimate goal of the DJ is to land HB9s. Well, let me tell you guys, if you chase HB9s with BL2 (brain level), don't be surprised of the outcome.

I think one of the main features of the real man is to swim against the tide when necessary. I do that in the mainstream and also in this board. You better find a nice chick to engage in a LTR and stop deluding yourself with DJ fantasies.

-AS
 

STR8UP

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 10, 2002
Messages
6,911
Reaction score
123
AlphaSoldier said:
You are more likely to have an accident or develop cancer than being Cary Grant redux. And, if that happens, you better have some woman by your side to look after you.

Listen, I agree that marriage today is a huge bet for men. But, provided you find the right woman, you should eventually marry and have kids.
That's a matter of opinion.

I personally will never put myself in the position where i think I had "better have some woman by my side" for ANY reason.

I'll stay single forever if I don't find the right situation.
 

Master Bates

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 26, 2007
Messages
1,007
Reaction score
10
AlphaSoldier said:
I think some guys in this board need a reality check.

Unless you become extremely wealthy or successful, you're not going to lead Hugh Heffner's life in your 40s or 50s. Simply put, that's not going to happen. Period.

You are more likely to have an accident or develop cancer than being Cary Grant redux. And, if that happens, you better have some woman by your side to look after you.

Listen, I agree that marriage today is a huge bet for men. But, provided you find the right woman, you should eventually marry and have kids. A good marriage brings about long-term good benefits for us men, and although I agree having kids is not for everyone and might be a pain in the azz and the wallet, they are generally a source of joy.

Again, the key is to find the right chick. Unfortunately, common wisdom in this board doesn't help really much as the ultimate goal of the DJ is to land HB9s. Well, let me tell you guys, if you chase HB9s with BL2 (brain level), don't be surprised of the outcome.

I think one of the main features of the real man is to swim against the tide when necessary. I do that in the mainstream and also in this board. You better find a nice chick to engage in a LTR and stop deluding yourself with DJ fantasies.

-AS
This post would maybe be relevant in the 50s. This, however, is the age of fattening bitter wives and 50% divorce rates. Sounds like you're the one in need of a reality check if you think marriage is something worth jumping into at first chance just for the sake of not staying single.
 
Top