The Bitter End (Broke up with girlfriend)

[Von]

I look forward to the next ''love of my life'' thread.

It clear you didn't see her has the love of your life when you start another ''thread'' about having a new plate

Anyway, I like how you label, calculate, analyze everything.

Did you still just saw her 1 time a week?

If you provided her well... she'll be back after her ''Frat'' time

But like the girls here said.... after 9 months... drop the games, keep the frame... In the end... she was just a body

 

[Urbanyst]

Sorry about the breakup brother.

I'm actually in the same boat right now. Been talking about it in my Love Triangle thread. My favorite plate whom I was falling for just dropped me last week. Thought my game and frame was tight the entire time, but I still got kicked to the curb. Its definitely making me think a little. My confidence and ego definitely took a hit.

Just when you think you have this game figured out and you have all the power, women will throw a curve ball at you. Other posters have said many times that LTR's are a woman's game and a woman's frame. It seems to be a game men can't truly win at. We win at flings. But over time, women suck us in emotionally and break us down. Even when you give as little as possible its hard not to feel loss when it ends. The time and money you spent is gone forever. You wonder if you compromised too much or too little. Its never fun.

I'm back in the field looking for new plates. Spring/Summer is a great time for hunting and flings. That's the good news.

 

[bigneil]

And, dude....9 moths in and you shut your phone off for 3 days? 9 months in and NC for 3 days?

9 months in and I expect a level of emotional investment that my partner cares enough about me to BE THERE for me even if we are fighting. What if there was an emergency? what if she was in a car accident?

She has my email so it wasn't an emergency.

What I did was simply called The Takeaway (see Corey Wayne). When she changes the terms, you withdraw the offer.

I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't here. Either I'm Captain Save a Ho, or I'm heartless toward a poor innocent girl who needed me.

 

[bigneil]

I have this thing called a life. My boss told the entire team that very day "Neil, we need you to carry us for the next two weeks". That's about a million dollars in payroll. She can't be changing plans around. My purpose comes first. She's a child sticking her finger in the outlet.

And the idea she met someone else and fell in love that week because I had a job to do is pretty sad. Please. Love doesn't die of starvation, but often indigestion.

 

[sazc]

She has my email so it wasn't an emergency.

What I did was simply called The Takeaway (see Corey Wayne). When she changes the terms, you withdraw the offer.

I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't here. Either I'm Captain Save a Ho, or I'm heartless toward a poor innocent girl who needed me.

Withdrawing the offer is one thing, going AWOL on someone you profess to care about, and who professes to love you deeply, that is hurtful to her, and damaging to your relationship. At some point, if there is real value, you need to see the value in your relationship and treat her like you wold expect her to treat you. If she shut her phone off for 3 days you would feel disrespected, unless she was a plate, which you have said she is not a plate.

I have this thing called a life. My boss told the entire team that very day "Neil, we need you to carry us for the next two weeks". That's about a million dollars in payroll. She can't be changing plans around. My purpose comes first. She's a child sticking her finger in the outlet.

She deserves to know that. "Hey babe, work commitments are calling hard. I'm going to need to focus so I'll be unreachable for a few days"

That's just my opinion. If, after 9 months, you went AWOL on me for 3 days it would devastate me emotionally. I would feel abandoned and start to believe that all of this love, hope and commitment I had put into you was fool hearty because you clearly dont care deeply for me.

Take my words for whatever you think they are worth. I'm just letting you know how I would feel if she were me.

And the idea she met someone else and fell in love that week because I had a job to do is pretty sad. Please. Love doesn't die of starvation, but often indigestion.

this, I agree, is baffling. If we take it for exactly what it is, this tells me that she is absolutely too immature for you, and that she does not know what real love, deep love, is.

If we decide to take this in the context of a game she was playing, that she was trying to pull frame on you, performing a push/pull on you, she has real issues communicating when she is hurt. But you led her into this push/pull frame. You defined the relationship in terms of push/pull. You set this dynamic up. My only comment on this is that, once you feel as if you have them, once her IL reaches 4, and appears to be heading towards a 5, consider stopping the push/pull, or dramatically reducing the intensity of it.

 

[bigneil]

@sazc

I did. I wrote "I'm sorry princess but I am overwhelmed with work and can't make it tonight" before shutting my phone off. I thought I added that to the transcript.

She had vanished for 10 days from May 22 - June 2. On May 21 she asked me if she could count on me and I told her she could come and live with me and quit stripping if she needed to. Please don't suggest that my shutting my phone off for 3 days undoes that.

Ok, I need to start a new thread.

 

[sazc]

@sazc

I did. I wrote "I'm sorry princess but I am overwhelmed with work and can't make it tonight" before shutting my phone off. I thought I added that to the transcript.

She had vanished for 10 days from May 22 - June 2. On May 21 she asked me if she could count on me and I told her she could come and live with me and quit stripping if she needed to. Please don't suggest that my shutting my phone off for 3 days undoes that.

Ok, I need to start a new thread.

These are details I never knew. It sounds like this was a frame volley the entire time.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

Well I'm not going to go into the deep analysis other members are doing here over Neil's text convos and such. Neil is one of the few people here who post pics of what he's able to pull and he follows through, so he has my respect for that. A lot more than some who simply drone on and on about pulling 7-8s on the regular without proof.

I happened to be at a clothing store today looking for a couple of things. As i got in the long line I noticed ahead of me one very nice young chick. We all know what the typical 20-22 girl looks like, but this one was EASILY a 20-22 year old HB8. Already had a guy with her. She was hot, and a very nice athletic figure and she enjoyed sticking her ass out at every opportunity. She knew she was hot stuff. Watching her a bit I could tell her attitude reflected the same. As I was staring at her ass a bit with her dark red hair stopping just above it, I tried imagining that sex with this girl would definitely be a fun ride but also realizing that any sort of relationship with her was going to be filled with lots of soap opera drama. Even as a plate though? I cannot imagine her lasting as a plate more than a couple of months. Any man able to make it last longer is going to have to be constantly on the top of his game.

So after sizing up this chick I thought of Neil's girl, also an 8, I figured this is probably what he had to go through too. The call of the carousel at that age is strong and its going to be damn near irresistable when you're an 8 like either of these girls. So props to Neil for making it last as long as he did. I dont think he'll have any trouble finding another woman though.

 

[kenpiffyjr]

First I want to say I respect Neil for posting this, photos, and just opening his life to the forums. It's appreciated.

My opinion:

When I read this, this comes down to one thing: that small cry you had In the car partly to her...I don't care how well your frame is presented, I guarantee she sensed your investment In some fashion of your relationship and realized you would cry about her.

I agree with those in this thread that sensed your strict nature throughout the text as overgaming. Overgaming is caring too much! 9 months into the relationship and it feels like you were pulling out an alpha instruction booklet after every text. At some point you become an unauthentic robot who is actually predictable and her 5 sh!t test more or less could have been a "does 2+2=4 still?" giggle from her. If I whip out a chess board to a friend who acts like he's uninterested...yet everytime I move a piece he's saying "you can't move there..." Or "I don't like that move"...or tells me he has to leave the game to go to work and actually cuts off his phone for 3 days...Dude! I would even know my friend is faking interest. Who cuts off their phone for 3 days authentically? She saw your game. She called bluff on your strict persona and Neil...She knew you would cry In the car.


It's not that you're older and she's going back to put the pieces back together In her youth. It comes down to you being predictable, boring, setting up 7 pm dates nine months in and after a while a 21 year old woman sees this routine as a "relationship" and a rollercoaster where she knows every upcoming loop and corkscrew and it no longer gets her authentically wet during the slumber moments of her life. Maybe in "missing" moments - but not In the slumber moments.

 

[RangerMIke]

I date younger girls too, as you know. I'm 40 as of last week and most average of 10 yrs younger than me.

You enjoyed the ride and understood that the ride with younger women always comes to an end.

Hopefully you have a batter on deck because they are now up to bat. Good luck

Truth, but @bigneil had a nice run... I've never been able to keep a much younger chick around more than 3 months.... but they drift in and out. I've lost almost all interest in chicks in their 20s, although I am seeing one now who is 28. The other two I'm dating are 39 and 41... which works out okay for me at 50. 10-15 years younger I think is every man's sweet spot.

 

[zekko]

1) Too much game playing
2) Going one month without seeing each other is way too long.

IMO, in a healthy relationship, neither of these things should be happening. Shouldn't be necessary and shouldn't be desireable.

 

[Infern0]

This was a dot on the card sorry to say neil.

But you have been around long enough to get back on the horse.

 

[Thorninmyside]

Ironically, she probably was attracted to you from some kind of dad-figure thing, and walked cause you acted like a dad. Now she's moved on to the brother-figure instead but that still isn't gonna be what she's looking for.

I wish you well in recovery mode and appreciate your post.

 

[bigneil]

Here is a summary of what many of you seem to be saying:

1) NEVER shut your phone off for 3 whole days.
2) Always be there for her.
3) Always text back right away.
4) Always be willing to change your plans to please her.
5) Never send mixed signals.
6) Never be unavailable.
7) Never mix pleasure with pain.
8) Never be a challenge.

In other words, we should do the exact opposite of Art of Seduction.

Note: I didn't deliberately "play games". Believe it or not, I really wanted to see her. At each step, I did what I thought was the right thing at that time. For whatever reason we are caught in a power struggle.

 

[zekko]

Here is a summary of what many of you seem to be saying:

1) NEVER shut your phone off for 3 whole days.
2) Always be there for her.
3) Always text back right away.
4) Always be willing to change your plans to please her.
5) Never send mixed signals.
6) Never be unavailable.
7) Never mix pleasure with pain.
8) Never be a challenge.

Nobody's saying any of that. Although regarding #1, I wouldn't shut my phone off because of a chick for 20 minutes if I didn't want to.

I think BeExcellent said it best when she said things run their course. Not that I'm saying this has run its course, only time will tell, but I do agree that most relationships have a shelf life.

Look, I will give you my impression. They may be worthless to you because you're in a different world than I am. I would never date a stripper, an ex-stripper, or a bartender. I don't hang out in strip clubs. You do your own thing though, and that's cool. I'm just saying if you don't find what I say useful just trash it, but I'll give you my impression.

It sounds to me like you've been trying to strategize every step of the way, and make sure you do everything right from a "game" standpoint, and trying to play this perfectly. When you had already won her over, so all you really needed to do at a certain point was be with her. She'd already slept with you. I think sometimes guys keep trying to overthink things and play the game, when they've already won. If you just keep your frame, I don't think you have to bother with all these details.

It does sound like she was acting up there toward the end though. But even if she didn't go along with your plans, and least she gave you counteroffers. I understand your reasoning, but maybe you were a bit inflexible. Maybe you ended up pressuring her more than you intended.

Oh, and fvck The Art of Seduction.

Not that it's worthless, but 99% of this seduction stuff is geared toward short term mating strategies.

 

[Epicurus]

Bunch of grown ass men playing little kid games. How do you claim to know so much about game and women but still base your self on a set of rules. Rules are for beginners. I'm glad she left you. You act like a weirdo

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Truth, but @bigneil had a nice run... I've never been able to keep a much younger chick around more than 3 months.... but they drift in and out. I've lost almost all interest in chicks in their 20s, although I am seeing one now who is 28. The other two I'm dating are 39 and 41... which works out okay for me at 50. 10-15 years younger I think is every man's sweet spot.

I think it's 5-7 years cause its old enough to be part of your generation. At 10-15 years you'll be going against different generational norms and it'll be an issue.

 

[bigneil]

Bunch of grown ass men playing little kid games. How do you claim to know so much about game and women but still base your self on a set of rules. Rules are for beginners. I'm glad she left you. You act like a weirdo

Translation: Epicurious (who of course just joined in May along with her 10 other accounts who personally attack me because - let's face it - they never so much as sniffed a pvssy like hers) would have done whatever she asked (and hence, never came near her to even sniffing a HB9 vagina).

That was the best 9 months of my life. Tell me again how bad it was.

 

[bigneil]

What a man does: (Explain what to do)
What a woman does: "You act like a weirdo".

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Now she is healing issues she had in high school at that time.

It could just be getting older. Some of the guys here call it, 'hitting the wall' sometimes. Not necessarily maturing or growing up though. Past a certain age (puberty), it's pretty much impossible to truly change your personality.

10-15 years younger I think is every man's sweet spot.

So I date girls aged 3-8. Got it.