The Big Secret about Sex

[ducaro]

Did you even have a childhood??? Fantasy and Space and Monsters thats what being a kid is about. I wish I only believed in myself half as much as I use to believe that gremlins would come from my closet and eat me.

That is what is SO awesome about being a kid. Fantasy to them is still half of reality... I remember as a kid being able to pretend Giant Robots were walking around my house and actually see them clear as day. We lose something really amazing when we transcend into adulthood. I mean kids are just awesome (I work teaching alot of kids). I remember when a girl in japan asked me if I had ever seen a real GUNDAM, that was awesome ( I told her I was a pilot ). I taught these two kids from Korea who lived everyday as frodo and smeagel(his younger brother), so I told them I was sent by Gandalf to teach them for their next quest. Talk about a fun job.

Taking away a child's ability to have fantasy in their life is a horrible horrible thing. I love talking to kids about santa as if he's real or mickey mouse... I would love to still believe that the world is black and white, good and evil...

The GI JOES go get the evil terrorists of COBRA... Luke Skywalker fought the dark side before you knew anything about the Jedi. Cowboys were good Indians were bad... Best years of my life. And NO ONE likes the kid who says that Santa isn't real. Do you enjoy Magic? Do you like Cartoons, Video Games or Movies? Thats all Fantasy... why not let kids enjoy it while they can.

Think about it, would you like to know that we all exist in a world that was built by the rich to keep the middle class in check. Do you really want to hear that only some men will get women while the others will beg for sex their whole life. Would you like to know that most of our processed meat products are laced with cow ****. 99% of people still live in fantasy to this day and CHOOSE not to believe the reality in front of them.

Do you want your children to know how horrible the world can be or how awesome it can be? They'll find out on their own, your job is to sustain the fantasy as long as you can.

Imagination is a VERY important thing in a child's development.. Would we have half the technology we do today without it? Would we have the space shuttle, scuba gear, video games, movies? Life is NOT just about sex. Sex is this big mystery to kids until they are old enough and I don't believe a child is old enough to know about it until they start dating.

There is this great film about a father and son in the nazi deathcamps and the father gets the son to believe that its all just a big game and the soldiers are just pretending. Wonderful film. I suggest you watch it.

aaah. refreshing insight.:yes:

 

[ducaro]

I imagine some people will find it difficult to talk about this topic in a serious and rational manner. Some will feel so ashamed or uncomfortable, they will resort to crude jokes or even insults against me. In all fairness, that's precisely what I would have done less than six months ago. But I also expect that some will be mature enough to have something useful and thoughtful to say, so I am posting my thoughts here.

We don't tell children about sex. Have you ever thought about the reason for this before?

If you're like me, then one day as you were going to sleep at the age of 13, you finally realized that your dad must have stuck his penis in your mom in order to have created you. And you found this to be the most surprising and disgusting secret you had ever dreamed of. And you wished this knowledge would go away, but it wouldn't.

And if you're like me, once you discovered the beauty of women, it occupied most of your thoughts and endeavors. To the point where you almost miss the days when you didn't know what women were. Maybe you feel a bit of nostalgia. Even though you weren't truly happy then, at least you didn't know it, right?

Let's take the hypothetical case of Guy A who says to a six-year old, "I like to have sex w/ my girlfriend. It feels really good" The child says "what is sex?" If the mom of that child finds out, that guy will probably never see that child again. Right? There is nothing revelatory about this. This actually happens from time to time.

If a child finds out about sex, we say that a child is in danger of losing his innocence.

If a child watches even a second of pornography, we are ashamed. We are worried for that child. That child has become an adult too early, we say. I think what terrifies us the most is that little children will start having sex with each other. And I'll be the first to tell you, that really disturbs me as well.

You ever hear the story about two kindergardeners who were caught having sex with each other in a closet? Or one kindergartener who proposed having sex with another and then humped her? I work in child welfare, so I hear sad and disturbing stories like these all the time. I have to confess that I am having difficulty finding the source of these feelings, that really they are too young. That somehow, it is not right for children to know these things or behave in these ways.

I am open to suggestions and would really appreciate your help.

If a child watching pornography loses his innocence, or his goodness, what does that say about us adults. Are we bad if we know about sex? Are we somehow fallen from an earlier purity?

Why do we hide things from our kids? Why do we tell them that Santa Claus exists and to believe in the Tooth Fairy. Sometimes it sounds like these lies and half-truths are about the power of the parent over the child. We are taking advantage of their innocence to make them behave in a more manageable way.

If I ever have kids, I am considering telling them the truth about everything. I view the parent's job as helping children learn to make decisions in the real world - not to create a fantasy world that is cutely naive.

If I raise a child this way, he or she will shatter the fantasy worlds of a lot of other children, simply by knowing the truth. A lot of parents will probably call me irresponsible or heathen or a lot of things. With other people's children, I obviously follow their wishes on the matter, which tend to differ from my opinion, but I respect that.

I would like to hear reasons why sex is ok, but children shouldn't know about it.

I think the real thing I miss the most about childhood are the days when I didn't know anything about sex at all, and so never thought about it.

Thanks, Izza

Sex is a very important part of life, nature and this universe. It is very powerful and requires huge resources to understand it. It is serious. I Believe children do not have the mental capacity to align with it, and hence children should never be exposed to it. Santa, and everything else is a lot different from this (sex).. so you cannot compare.

 

[penkitten]

Sex is a very important part of life, nature and this universe. It is very powerful and requires huge resources to understand it. It is serious. I Believe children do not have the mental capacity to align with it, and hence children should never be exposed to it. Santa, and everything else is a lot different from this (sex).. so you cannot compare.

i agree with you

 

[izza]

Sex is a very important part of life, nature and this universe. It is very powerful and requires huge resources to understand it. It is serious. I Believe children do not have the mental capacity to align with it, and hence children should never be exposed to it. Santa, and everything else is a lot different from this (sex).. so you cannot compare.

I agree with you, it would take a very careful presentation of sex in order to be properly understood and processed by a child. I am not suggesting that we talk about sex just any old way. It takes some skill and some art. I do think kids are richer as a result.

In my life, NOTHING I know about sex came from my parents. Piecing things together, leaving the fantasy world, was all done well after puberty. My friends didn't tell me anything, I learned nothing from movies and so forth.

I will repeat a claim that I believe is true: when you properly understand what sex is and should be, you will find a way to explain it to children. The reason we don't now is because we're embarrassed. If you explain it correctly, the child will not be a disgusting sex craved 10 year old. The child will understand the world better and be better prepared for puberty.

Santa, and everything else is a lot different from this (sex).. so you cannot compare.

Keep in mind the difference between comparing and two things being elements of the same childhood fantasy world. In a child's world is purposefully made to be very different from an adult's world. Santa and no sex are two elements in the universe of the child. Just because two things are dissimilar doesn't mean you "can't compare them." That's what a metaphor is. If they "can't be compared" you have the wrong elements in your head. Think harder until you find the elements that are comparable. Many hearts can be compared to roses, dissimilar though they may be. You will learn this stuff if you take some courses on philosophy of language.

Izza

 

[izza]

I say that your whole idea of dropping the sex bomb on these poor kids hard and early is just about the worst thing you could do.

All through history, kids have had to start piecing it all together during puberty, and with or without parental talks, they've got through it. It works. I think any notion that sex even exists before then is not a good move.

They don't need to know, plain and simple. They won't need the information for years anyway, and until then, they'll just be confused and worried about it. What 11 year old kid needs the added thoughts of sex and diseases and sluts and everything else, when their main worries should be passing their test on Friday and how to beat the next level on their video game?

Once they hit puberty, and the questions start to pop up, that's when you ease them into it. They'll learn from you, they'll learn from sex-ed, they'll learn from friends, tv, movies and music too. Not all the things they hear will be right, and some might even be sick and perverted. But that's how it's gonna be. That's how it HAS to be. You can't protect your kids from the entire world, and you shouldn't. They won't learn anything properly and they'll turn out weird.

Don't you remember, when you first started to find out about sex? Remember how you were confused on a lot of things, and there were holes in your understanding of it all? Its supposed to be that way. You fill those holes in over time, when you're ready to understand them. Sex isn't something you can comprehend all at once. You have to think about it, and process it, and get new information, and retool your previous thoughts. You have to ask questions. And when you do have sex for the first time, you still won't have a total grasp on it all. You have to try it out once or twice. Just like you can't REALLY know how a bike works until you've ridden it.

You're proposing that we tell kids early as a way to combat the trend of kids becoming more 'adult-like' sooner, right? I think revealing the truth earlier would only accelerate this trend. Instead, you should focus your energies on how to slow down this process. Ultimately we should have kids really becoming more adult-like around 17, or even older. The transition from kid and adult... teenager, right? I believe that's supposed to be between the ages of 14-20 or so. Try to get it back to that range, instead of the 8-16 like it seems to be reaching now.

So you apparently suggest DOING NOTHING until a kid hits puberty. I'm not sure how that will stem the tide of children growing up faster than ever before. Ironically, the truth is just as you say. Children learn at a younger and younger age from TV and friends, music, and movies about sex. You can try to stop this. Good luck. Your choice is between a 9 year old learning about sex through these media alone, or these media and the parent. I see what you have chosen and that's fine for you. I prefer more active solutions. And you're right, there's a risk involved: sexualizing the child, tempting the child to have sex at a young age. I work in child welfare, you don't have to tell me the risks.

This discussion must be done with a lot more wisdom than you are imagining, and maybe more wisdom than you are capable right now. Hell, I know I would be hard pressed to do this right - I think that only in the past few months have I finally learned a ton about sex, and feel prepared to explain it in a way that would benefit children. This is why I'm still learning. But I maintain that when we properly understand the consequences of sex, you will know how to explain it to a child, and you will know when a child is ready.

I am all for fantasy worlds and santa clauses and so forth. That's because I am against the false fantasy world that we call reality - and I mean that not in the buddhist sense of reality doesn't exist. I mean that in the sense that most adults feel that our dreams are unrealistic. The only thing I'm against is missing a huge opportunity to help the child develop in a sexually healthy way. Consider for how many millenia our sexuality has been repressed and chastized by society. No wonder we have so much difficulty breaking the secret to children but doing it in a way that maintains the safety and well-being of the child.

All my friends who became sexualized early had never said the word sex to their parents ever in their lives. It's all a huge secret. That secret mentality is the MOST UNHEALTHY THING when it comes to sex. Children that talk w/ their parents about sex develop a healthy habit and a sense of trust and openness.

I know a girl who's the daughter of a social worker for transvestites, and she's one of the most sexually healthy people I know.

Izza

 

[Ace of Flames]

I don't suggest DOING NOTHING. I suggest NOTHING IS NECESSARY. Sex isn't part of a kid's life, and it shouldn't be. They don't need it.

I have a sister. She's turning 7 this weekend. If my mom and I sat her down and tried to seriously explain sex to her, she'd giggle at the funny words, she wouldn't understand the majority of what we're saying to her, and the concepts she DID get some grasp of, she'd go to school and tell her friends about it. The teacher would overhear, and the next thing you know we'd get a call at home saying we should seek family counseling or something. They'd claim we have an unfit home environment or some sh!t.

Now, my sister is pretty smart for a (soon to be) 7 year old. She speaks more like a 13 year old would, with complicated sentence structure and a fairly wide vocabulary. I believe she'd still be just as confused and mixed up with all the information about sex we'd tell her as any other 7 year old. They just aren't ready to take in this kind of thing. They aren't at the point in their lives where the information is even RELEVANT, so I don't see why giving them extra worries and unneeded confusion is helping anything.

Maybe you don't know kids as well as you think. I know that kids are impressionable. They see stuff on TV, they wanna try it. They imitate things. If you gave some kids a big talk about sex, and then locked them in a room for a few hours, you'd be sure to find that all the kids will be taking their pants off, comparing their bits and pieces, and then they'd sure as hell wanna try out what they just 'learned'. After all, you just told them that when a man and a woman like each other, they have sex, right? Well little boys and little girls are friends, and they'll misunderstand your explanation about as fast as a lightning bolt. You would walk back into that room with lots of little kids laying on top of each other trying to have sex. Is that what you want? Cuz I'll bet you anything that's what would happen.

Also, I really like how you just say "Good luck" to the thought of preventing kids' access to media with sex and such. That's one hell of an attitude. I figured someone with your innovative way of thinking would be all for that. You thought of this whole way to preempt the media, when you should really be thinking of a way to shut it down. You remind me of the idiotic concept called "Preemptive War". There's no such thing. Its just who hits who first.

Honestly, its not that damn hard to keep your kids away from sexual stuff, at least in your own home. If people knew how to be fvcking good parents, lots of these problems wouldn't be so big. But no, they watch R-rated movies and explicit TV shows, and just let their kids sit there with them. They take their babies to the theater to see murder dramas and sexual comedies and horror movies.

I'm getting off topic now. Whatever. Your turn to talk.

 

[izza]

I don't suggest DOING NOTHING. I suggest NOTHING IS NECESSARY. Sex isn't part of a kid's life, and it shouldn't be. They don't need it.

Obviously they don't need it when they're little. I think globally, if done properly (which again is very, very difficult), it benefits kids in the long run to know how to properly understand sex, in preparation for the feelings they will have at age 12. Keep in mind the usual "problem" of adolescence. In child welfare you see this all the time. Adopted kids are super sweet until age 11 and then they're a huge behavior problem. Research is showing more and more that talking openly about sex is one great way of defusing the bomb. Let's face it, kids need to be more ready for it.

More and more psychologists are agreeing, also, that adolescence is a difficult time of transition, but REALLY doesn't have to the hell it is in most kids with proper parenting. Talking openly about sex, especially in today's media culture, and with the type of internet access kids have, is more and more important.

I think kids would develop in a more healthy way if they found out about sex earlier. And not from Brittany Spears.

So I know what you're thinking, "yeahh, just sit the kid down in front of porn, that will work great." Well, I don't think your inability, off the top of your head, to think of a way to explain this, disproves anything.

From the beginning I've been agreeing with you (and you keep claiming we disagree I don't know why) that is is fvcking hard to explain this in a beneficial way to a child. So you can name all sorts of halfass ways to expain it and you still won't be disagreeing at all.

I have a sister. She's turning 7 this weekend. If my mom and I sat her down and tried to seriously explain sex to her, she'd giggle at the funny words, she wouldn't understand the majority of what we're saying to her, and the concepts she DID get some grasp of, she'd go to school and tell her friends about it. The teacher would overhear, and the next thing you know we'd get a call at home saying we should seek family counseling or something. They'd claim we have an unfit home environment or some sh!t.

That's kind of the rub about telling the truth. Most parents want their kids living in fantasy land. It's the same with Santa Claus... all parents hate the kid who tells everyone Santa doesn't exist since age 2. And some parents are so ashamed of their own sexuality, and their own sexual thoughts and feelings, that a kid who knows that sex exists is a threat to them.

Bonhomme put it best: "A parent's task is to convey the idea that sex is a good thing, but only when people are truly ready to deal with its consequences."

Now, my sister is pretty smart for a (soon to be) 7 year old. She speaks more like a 13 year old would, with complicated sentence structure and a fairly wide vocabulary. I believe she'd still be just as confused and mixed up with all the information about sex we'd tell her as any other 7 year old. They just aren't ready to take in this kind of thing. They aren't at the point in their lives where the information is even RELEVANT, so I don't see why giving them extra worries and unneeded confusion is helping anything.

What you're saying is pretty vague. How am I supposed to agree or disagree that your sister wouldn't react well to what you said, if you're not telling me what you'd tell her?

I don't have much I can say to that, except that whatever you have in mind, you're probably right that you have the wrong approach.

Maybe you don't know kids as well as you think. I know that kids are impressionable. They see stuff on TV, they wanna try it. They imitate things. If you gave some kids a big talk about sex, and then locked them in a room for a few hours, you'd be sure to find that all the kids will be taking their pants off, comparing their bits and pieces, and then they'd sure as hell wanna try out what they just 'learned'.

It depends what you say and how you say it. Most kids I know, if you tell them what Bonhomme said, they'll be just fine:

"A parent's task is to convey the idea that sex is a good thing, but only when people are truly ready to deal with its consequences."

You tell kids that some day if they're not careful when they're trying to make babies, they can get sick, or have to care for a baby rather than getting a job, they will get the idea. You can tell kids when you get older you might want to make babies too.

There are plenty of children's books out there written by psychologists that explain sex to kids. This is not a new idea.

I think the number one thing you want to avoid with kids is keeping sex a secret. I'm not saying sit them down in front of porn, because porn does not represent a proper understanding of what sex is and should be. Notice how porn actors, even in the throes of ecstasy don't joke or laugh or just stop and stare at each others' eyes like lovers do. It's all business.

Most people are so love-deprived, so terrified of love that their understanding of sex is like porn. And of course THAT understanding is harmful to kids. It's harmful to everybody. That's the whole problem.

Sex isn't dirty when you properly understand it. There is nothing shameful or worthy of a secret if you have the right attitude about sex. You're right that you do have to package it a certain way with kids, and yes some details get left out of that packaging. That's normal. That's not to say that you can't be honest to the extent that a kid can understand.

And absolutely, kids will talk about what they know. Most of the time, though, when something is beyond a kid's understanding, he doesn't even think about it. Like I play with my four year old neighbors, I say something they don't understand, and they run and show me a pony. It's hilarious.

After all, you just told them that when a man and a woman like each other, they have sex, right?

No, that's not what I'd say. More evidence that you haven't thought of the right way to express it yet.

Besides, that's not even true. Lots of boys and girls like each other and don't have sex. I DO IT ALL THE TIME (side topic )

Well little boys and little girls are friends, and they'll misunderstand your explanation about as fast as a lightning bolt. You would walk back into that room with lots of little kids laying on top of each other trying to have sex. Is that what you want? Cuz I'll bet you anything that's what would happen.

No, it's not what I want and I'll bet you anything it wouldn't happen. It would if you used your explanation though. *punches playfully on the arm*

Also, I really like how you just say "Good luck" to the thought of preventing kids' access to media with sex and such. That's one hell of an attitude. I figured someone with your innovative way of thinking would be all for that. You thought of this whole way to preempt the media, when you should really be thinking of a way to shut it down. You remind me of the idiotic concept called "Preemptive War". There's no such thing. Its just who hits who first.

Shut it down? LOL, it's a free country. Yeah, I wouldn't let my kids watch just anything. On the other hand, let's be realistic on the one hand that I can't supervise kids 24 hours a day. And they're curious little buggers. They should be curious. Things happen, and if you've already told a kid about the proper way to understand sex, they'll realize it's a hugely dangerous thing that takes a lot of knowledge and responsibility.

You do make a good point, though, that most parents don't know how to have an open relationship with their kid. You've got a point that to talk about sex, it does take an open and non-shaming relationship with a kid. That's a safety valve is just having the type of relationship with your kid where the kid can be honest with you. That's the whole point of telling the kid early, so that it's something you talk about with your parents.

Secondly, this media is fed by people who have major hang-ups about sex. I do love me some porn, but the more I learn about sex the more I realize that porn is just really boring to me. Where's the love? The happier and more love-filled I am, the less I need the nonsense in the media. There's no need to control it because if you raise a kid properly, they won't even be interested in what is trash. It is the love-starved who congregate to nonsense, and even worse, who act upon it.

Third, if you prepare a kid for what's in the media, I don't think it will really have much of an effect.

Honestly, its not that damn hard to keep your kids away from sexual stuff, at least in your own home.

Note the key words, "at least in your own home."

If people knew how to be fvcking good parents, lots of these problems wouldn't be so big. But no, they watch R-rated movies and explicit TV shows, and just let their kids sit there with them. They take their babies to the theater to see murder dramas and sexual comedies and horror movies.

I don't think any of those behaviors would be half as serious if people actually knew how to be good parents as you say.

This is a very interesting discussion, and a pleasure.

 

[Bvbidd]

Uh, I knew about sex as a kid, it was the main reason my favourite game was docter.

And yes I know a couple friends that tried to have sex as kids, they layed on top of each other and wondered why nothing happend.

 

[izza]

Uh, I knew about sex as a kid, it was the main reason my favourite game was docter.

LOL, why didn't you have sex as a kid?

And yes I know a couple friends that tried to have sex as kids, they layed on top of each other and wondered why nothing happend.

I work in child welfare. I've heard of a kid that physically forced his brother to fellate him... the aggressor was five years old. Obviously that kid was sexually abused and it was a mimicry crime on his part. You hear about kids who were never abused trying to have sex in a closet at age 7. So hell yeah there are dangers if you don't explain sex in the right way. It doesn't sound as though you've found the right way yet. Also, take the daughter of a pastor I know. You know those windbags don't tell their kids about sex and try to insulate them. And they are loving and protect their house from porn and everything else. That girl turned 12 and is now dating so many boys it's ridiculous. I guarantee you she will have sex with someone from her middle school before she is 14.

It is the common PK problem. Pastor's kids are either completely wild or enormous prudes. Very few find a healthy balance of responsibility and fun.

Night bro,
Jizza

 

[Dilberto]

I don't care what anybody says- if you take the time to make a woman come....you OWN THEM!!!

 

[DonJuan11]

i have never had sex nor have i ever masturbated with a woman. i am not gay.
of course, if i was gay, then i wouldn't have children to explain sex to.

Good point.

Why would a child need to know about sex anyway? how does it help them?

The way I learned (and still learn) about sex is from adult entertainment. Where else are you gonna learn it from?

 

[Ace of Flames]

Major necro there izza. I'm not even invested in this thread anymore. I still don't agree with you though. You're taking the right steps but at the wrong time.

 

[iqqi]

Hmmm. I agree with LMS. This post is just... kind of disturbing. Why are you so hung up on explaining sex to kids... and why would you even THINK of showing a kid PORN? Porn is not natural, by the way, homie. Lol, it is not a documentary on sex!

Having said that.

Sex IS natural. And it is natural for children to experiment, as children. Hense "playing doctor" and "kissing cousins." These children don't really know what they are doing. But they do have body parts that do feel sensations. I was a very "curious" child at age 5! And I remember my best friend at age 9, she used to press her vagina against the part of the hot tub that vibrates (making bubbles), and exclaim that it was tingly! Awww... that was so cute! And yes, children know about sex somewhat.

Hopefully! Because if not, then mommy and daddy must not be getting along in the bedroom. Believe me, if you are then your children know it too. And they are curious about whats going on. I remember a car trip once where my little cousin sat in between me and another cousin. She was playing with Barbie and Ken. All of a sudden she took their clothes off, and had them GO AT IT. Sound effects and all. It was hilarious! She was about six. My aunt just kept driving with an amused smile on her face.

Some of you might say that it means maybe she was sexually abused. Nope. I truly doubt that! Most likely, she heard mommie and daddy one night. And maybe got a glimpse of some late night TV action.

At a very early age I romanticized sex, from what I caught glimpses of. It seemed like something that felt GREAT, and I couldn't wait to be an adult and try it.

In regards to the tell your kids everything is bad, and they won't do it mantra... errr... no.

Most people I know with sex/drugs/whatever issues, it was directly due to their sheltered upbringing.

I myself had absolutely no rules or censorship growing up, and I am one of the only people I know who doesn't do drugs, and isn't a wh0re.

Sex is not the enemy.

People wanting to sit kids down in front of porn... I agree with LMS. Devil. What is your real confusion?

 

[Holland]

Here's why: Children are not yet fully responsible. They haven't got enough experience in life to be always knowing what will be good for them and what won't. That isn't to say that you shouldn't teach your children to be responsible, you should do that. But you must also understand that most children are not yet wise enough to make certain decions (like sex, using alcohol and managing finances)

You wouldn't give a child access to all your money, he/she wouldn't know how to deal with it yet. Same goes for sex.

 

[izza]

Major necro there izza. I'm not even invested in this thread anymore. I still don't agree with you though. You're taking the right steps but at the wrong time.

You're a necro. As you can tell, I'm not invested anymore either.

You don't even know what steps I'm taking or when... a very mysterious statement.

 

[Ace of Flames]

You're a necro.

Um... lol. How childlike is that?

You don't even know what steps I'm taking or when... a very mysterious statement.

Irrelevant. Sex education = good. Sex education for little kids = not good.

Thread over. Let's go home.

 

[izza]

Hmmm. I agree with LMS. This post is just... kind of disturbing. Why are you so hung up on explaining sex to kids... and why would you even THINK of showing a kid PORN? Porn is not natural, by the way, homie. Lol, it is not a documentary on sex!

That's exactly what I said later on.

And if you read my later posts you would find:

Obviously they don't need it when they're little. I think globally, if done properly (which again is very, very difficult), it benefits kids in the long run to know how to properly understand sex, in preparation for the feelings they will have at age 12. Keep in mind the usual "problem" of adolescence. In child welfare you see this all the time. Adopted kids are super sweet until age 11 and then they're a huge behavior problem. Research is showing more and more that talking openly about sex is one great way of defusing the bomb. Let's face it, kids need to be more ready for it.

More and more psychologists are agreeing, also, that adolescence is a difficult time of transition, but REALLY doesn't have to the hell it is in most kids with proper parenting. Talking openly about sex, especially in today's media culture, and with the type of internet access kids have, is more and more important.

I think kids would develop in a more healthy way if they found out about sex earlier. And not from Brittany Spears.

I talk about pornography because that is the first thing people talked about in this post. "Huh Huh, what are you going to do, sit a kid down in front of porn? Huh huh"

That's why I talk about it.

You said:

Having said that.

Sex IS natural. And it is natural for children to experiment, as children. Hense "playing doctor" and "kissing cousins." These children don't really know what they are doing. But they do have body parts that do feel sensations. I was a very "curious" child at age 5! And I remember my best friend at age 9, she used to press her vagina against the part of the hot tub that vibrates (making bubbles), and exclaim that it was tingly! Awww... that was so cute! And yes, children know about sex somewhat.

Hopefully! Because if not, then mommy and daddy must not be getting along in the bedroom. Believe me, if you are then your children know it too. And they are curious about whats going on. I remember a car trip once where my little cousin sat in between me and another cousin. She was playing with Barbie and Ken. All of a sudden she took their clothes off, and had them GO AT IT. Sound effects and all. It was hilarious! She was about six. My aunt just kept driving with an amused smile on her face.

Some of you might say that it means maybe she was sexually abused. Nope. I truly doubt that! Most likely, she heard mommie and daddy one night. And maybe got a glimpse of some late night TV action.

At a very early age I romanticized sex, from what I caught glimpses of. It seemed like something that felt GREAT, and I couldn't wait to be an adult and try it.

In regards to the tell your kids everything is bad, and they won't do it mantra... errr... no.

Exactly, that's exactly what I'm saying!!

Most people I know with sex/drugs/whatever issues, it was directly due to their sheltered upbringing.

I myself had absolutely no rules or censorship growing up, and I am one of the only people I know who doesn't do drugs, and isn't a wh0re.

Sex is not the enemy.

Bingo!!

People wanting to sit kids down in front of porn... I agree with LMS. Devil. What is your real confusion?

Ok, Devil, since I agree with everything you're saying, welcome to hell.

I like your name, what is it about z's that makes names so damn sexy?

David

 

[Bvbidd]

You guys must of lived very sheltered lives. Sex was a very real thing when me and my friends were kids.

I once watched a show on mothers teaching their toddlers how to masturbate, that was a little disturbing though.

 

[izza]

Um... lol. How childlike is that?

About as childish as your childish comment.

Irrelevant. Sex education = good. Sex education for little kids = not good.

Thread over. Let's go home.

Ok, I can agree to disagree. All I'm saying is there is a lot of interesting psychiatric research on the enormous benefits of limited sex education for children around 8-9, especially relating to traumatized children. But you're right that kids can turn out normally without, if you play your cards right. Have a good one,

Izza

 

[izza]

Oops