The best way to have a chance to get back with an ex?

[pancakepalace]

Hi guys,

Though I feel I let a really good one slip away, I am not being an AFC right now and am dating other girls.

I dated this girl in a LTR for 7 months and at the end she seemed confused and I pressed her a bit for a decision and when she couldn't make it, I finally broke it up with her. After two weeks of NC, I called her and we talked. At this point, she doesn't want to get back together, but I feel we really had something special.

Like I said, I am not desperate for her since I am seeing other girls. I just want to play my cards right with this ex so that if there is still a chance it could work it will.

Right now, she wants to stay friends but doesn't seem to initiate contact much. Only sometimes on MSN. So I am also playing NC quite a bit. My plan is to have her call me more often.

Also, I am going to her city next week. She wants to meet up with me. How should I act. Oh yeah, she knows I am seeing other girls. Doesn't seem to bother her too much.

What are your suggestions?

666

 

[Metalixia]

My suggestion? Forget all the player bull****.

If what you two shared was so special, just go with the feeling and romance her. Initiate contact. Embrace her...

Why are you asking for advice? Are you so pathetic that you have to make sure that it's the cool thing to do or something? Are you so chicken that you'd rather read stupid posts on an internet site, than take a risk and phone her?

By the way, I got back with an ex. She dumped me for being possesive and insecure, but I got her back.

 

[Ricky]

I am in the same boat. I really had it bad for my ex, this board is littered with posts.

I'm doing better now, but there is still a part of me that wants her back, it's slowly being replaced by the excitement of new women.

I was so busy with work and studying for a board exam that I took the whole summer off from the game.

It was the important thing for my career. Now I'm working on the inner game.

The only thing that seems to resonate for me is, think of how you initially attracted her. Be that guy.

I know who that guy was with my ex. It was the guy that wasn't working every damn minute like I've been. It was a guy that was fun and one that didn't take things so seriously.

That's who she will want to be with.

 

[pancakepalace]

Why are you asking for advice? Are you so pathetic that you have to make sure that it's the cool thing to do or something? Are you so chicken that you'd rather read stupid posts on an internet site, than take a risk and phone her?

It hasn't anything to do with being cool or chicken. I did phone her a few times last week. It is a question of being respectful (if she isn't calling maybe she doesn't want to talk) and tactful (making sure I am doing the best possible thing to get her back).

Sure, I could call her right now, everyday whatever. but, I have patience and want to make sure I do it right.

Why don't you tell me how you went about getting your ex back?

 

[cave dweller]

ex.........

pancake,

Forget your ex and move the hell on.

(it did not work then and it will not work now)

cave dweller

 

[pancakepalace]

I don't buy the it did not work then it won't work now line. I see things differently after the breakup and I was able to learn a great deal about myself and her throughout it. I feel It could start with new foundations.

But, yes I am moving on. I have been dating since the breakup and will continue to do so.

I just want to keep my ex on the wings in case.

 

[RipItOff]

Buddy,

This is an awesome learning experience for you.

Think about it, YOU call her. YOU initiate contact. YOU want to date her......

but that doesn't mean that she wants to date you. In fact, she doesn't even want to be friends, because friends return phone calls and hang out, and she's not doing that.

But I'll answer your question anyway. You get an ex back by
1. Making her jealous and
2. Making her gain attraction for you (she has to want to jump you)

But regardless, exes will always remain exes in the long run.

 

[pancakepalace]

Hey RipItOff,

You're right it is an awesome experience. The thing that is nice now is I really don't care all that much and am persuing my life dating other girls etc..

I see it like that. A learning experience. Just testing waters seing if she could jump back in.

I called her tonight following on Metalixia's advice. She didn't call back. Then I saw her on msn and told her it would be cool to talk later. She said she was busy so I said that's cool. No problem. I really didn't care that much. And I don't feel like an AFC doing this because Tonight I get laid by another chick anyhow.

I'll wait a week and try again. No loss...

 

[Nightwing]

Move on bro, why would you want to get back with your ex? I mean you broke up with her for a reason.

As a matter of fact, according to your post, she doesnt even seem to reciprocate the same feelings that you placed about her in your original post, in her eyes you seem more like an "buddy" or "pal".


Move on and hook up with the other chicks that are more interested in you.

 

[libre]

Well Crêpe,

I am both happy and sorry to read that your Fancy Fiddle stopped «playing» with you.

I think that you are better off without her as I believe it is impossible to have a rewarding longer term relationship with a warped instrument. You would only accumulate strident noises which would build into a crescendo of histrionic screeches hitting and getting at your nerves. This fiddle is too much out of tune to hope to get better harmonics out of her on the longer term. She is great material for the occasionnal fling, however, she's a dud for a better commitment.

You can be happy for the better harmonic and sexual rides that you experienced with her. You can keep her in your memories as good days better gone past and also for the occasional meeting of the eventual fluids.

Well, be happy and move on. There are other great Tubas out there waiting and hoping for your agile baton. They will gladly synchronize themselves to your interesting harmonics.

Play on.

 

[Nightwing]

Just leave committed relationships alone and focus on developing YOU. Women will just get in the way and only complicate daily living.

 

[MrLuvr]

Originally posted by pancakepalace


I'll wait a week and try again. No loss...

She is not ready. A week is too short a time. Give her a few weeks. Do something different to get her attention. It is not easy, but nothing is impossible. Given enough time and effort, you can get almost anybody. But, then the question becomes whether it is worth the effort or not.

 

[flexion_]

Don't mean to be cruel. But its over. She has low IL now based on what you are saying and is most likely focusing her energy on other men.

I suggest you do the same.

 

[pancakepalace]

Guys, I know, it seems ridiculous.

Like I said I already am looking at other girls and have two that I am sleeping with regurlarly since 3 weeks. They both know about each other and don't care.

Thing is, I really loved this one. The type that comes once every ten years. If she is dating other guys it doesn't bother me. She is really good looking and I know she can have sex whenever she wants. Guys would always try to pick her up in front of me.

At least, I would like to stay friends with her.

I am going around her neck of the woods next week, so I will probably try to call one more time before then and see if she wants to meet up. If not, it's cool...

I am over her. Just want to place her on the backburner in case.

 

[Nightwing]

Originally posted by pancakepalace
Guys, I know, it seems ridiculous.

Like I said I already am looking at other girls and have two that I am sleeping with regurlarly since 3 weeks. They both know about each other and don't care.

Thing is, I really loved this one. The type that comes once every ten years. If she is dating other guys it doesn't bother me. She is really good looking and I know she can have sex whenever she wants. Guys would always try to pick her up in front of me.

At least, I would like to stay friends with her.

I am going around her neck of the woods next week, so I will probably try to call one more time before then and see if she wants to meet up. If not, it's cool...

I am over her. Just want to place her on the backburner in case.

I dated a chick like that once, and had similar feelings that currently have about this one. As time passed, I began to reflect and see that this chick was not good for me at all, rather she was big indecisive flake and that it was a real blessing to get her out of my life so that I could move on to bigger and better things, whether it be hooking up with better chicks or having more time to pursue my real interests in life. It was safer to say that I was projecting my feelings onto her even though she didnt really show that she was all these things I thought she was.

It seems like she doesn't have no interest in you anyway, otherwise she would be trying to at least make some contact with you. You broke up with her, and you havent heard from her in 2 weeks?? That's a sign that she didnt like you in the first place. Hook up with other chicks, stay out of the committed relationships and move on.

 

[pancakepalace]

Nightwing,

You are probably right and quite wise. However, she did contact me a few times since our breakup. But, I know her interest is in the gutter at this point.

I decided to see, as a sort of test of my skills, if I can get that interest to sore up again. I feel detached now and won't stop persuing other girls at all.

I am using a zen-like I don't care attitude. Cutting out all the wuss like behaviour.

I believe the tension can be created once more. I want to test this belief. It doesn't matter to me if it works or not. I just want to test it.

 

[Ricky]

It is good to see if you can recover interest.

 

[Nightwing]

Originally posted by pancakepalace


I am using a zen-like I don't care attitude. Cutting out all the wuss like behaviour.

I believe the tension can be created once more. I want to test this belief. It doesn't matter to me if it works or not. I just want to test it.

It's not worth it. Not worth your time, nor your energy. Trust me on that.

 

[pancakepalace]

It's not worth it. Not worth your time, nor your energy. Trust me on that.

Precisely the whole secret, Do not put energy into it. Man, all the girls I don't care about are jumping on me and the others that I do are fleeing.

That is what I learned with women in the last few years. Don't care and chances are they will.

 

[speedo_meme]

pancake,

go to my post, "getting back with an ex". Read some of those posts.....very great advice and I reaped the benefits this weekend...

Rollo is esp. helpful....