The best way to have a chance to get back with an ex?

[speedo_meme]

also, pancake, you can discard some of these posts in here.....i now know from experience that it CAN happen.....just don't dwell on it, don't expect it.....

my advice would be to cut off contact with her for 6 months or so. It may sound stupid, but all the dust cleared and I've got the girl now....

 

[DoubleA]

Pancake,

Look she doesn't really care about you. I mean why should have a high IL in you when she can call knowing you'd always pickup?
I mean she you have on her mind.

You should watch the movie Swingers. The main character is going through something similar to what's happening to you.

I'm not one of these fools out here telling you to "embrace her". I can't respect anybody who doesn't respect me. F' em.

Next.

 

[pancakepalace]

I know what you are saying rollo and thanks for the advice speedo_meme.

At this point, I don't pickup or msn her all the time. I msn'ed her once and we chatted a bit then I said we should talk on the phone but she was too busy. Since then, I haven't msn'ed her when I see her on.

6 months seems like a very long time though. But, I know what you mean by clearing the dust. I got a girl back once like that way back.

I don't plan on contacting her anymore unless she does.

I might phone her next week since I'll be in her neck of the woods. Just to see if she wants to meet.

 

[DoubleA]

Pancake,

Everyone please excuse my grammatical errors. I was in a hurry to post that before a meeting.

Man, I'm not saying six months is the way to go. But she doesn't want to be with you. If she did she'd call you. Suppose she starts dating other guys, but doesn't tell you?How would you feel? Knowing that you had feelings about her, but she doesn't have enough feeling to reciprocate?

Personally, I've been through the this stuff before. It's not worth it. If she was she be willing towork it out. Or it wouldn't be that big of a deal. If she's into you, you won't have to jump through hoops.

 

[pancakepalace]

Suppose she starts dating other guys, but doesn't tell you?How would you feel?

Well, if she doesn't tell me I won't know. But seriously, I wouldn't be surprised if she is already. She dated tons of guys before me and when I was with her guys were always trying to pick her up. Right now, It wouldn't bother me. I am getting good sex with two girls at the moment no strings attached.

Obiously I have feelings for her and obviously at this point she isn't reciprocating because her IL is down.

My post was about the best way, if at all possible, to go about getting it up again. I won't jump through hoops or waste my time trying to. There are many girls out there, but this one was special. I seldom meet girls I find special even though I date a lot.

I wouldn't mind staying friends with her if that is possible. If she isn't into me that's fine.

 

[DoubleA]

I am getting good sex with two girls at the moment no strings attached.

Use them for all intesive purposes.

My post was about the best way, if at all possible, to go about getting it up again. I won't jump through hoops or waste my time trying to. There are many girls out there, but this one was special. I seldom meet girls I find special even though I date a lot.

Pancake, they're all special somewhat when you "connect" with another kindred spirit. Some people are made for each other. But even if they are, some people don't recognize it until it's too late. One may realize it, and the other is long gone. Or the other may doubt it, and get married. Have kids. and realize they married the wrong person. But if only they took the time to see, before being an emotional retard. They would have seen the best way isn't the fast way. Now, they have to lie in their own bed.

I used to feel the same way. In the same situation. Hoping that something would make the girl I adored to have a change of heart. Nope. She went and I got married to some dude. Had a kid or two. I think. I believe. Me, I toughed it out and finished school. I was supposed to marry that fool. But it's funny. Now a days, nosy muthafvckers are trying to get me to speak to her...Nah. I don't need baggage. I'm not her savior. All she had to do was think for herself. Now she's dealing with life on a different end it than I am. I'm going places. Pancake. In two to three years you're going to look back and still think of her..two Super Bowls will have passed. Two Stanley Cup playoffs..gone. So much will change.

Why give someone the satidfaction of knowing no matter how hard they fall, they could run back to you. My kids, yes. Some dame who took me for granted. No. Do the same. Understand that only few people really do care for you. Look out for you. A true friend. Not people who want to be your friend from what they over heard. They are the ones that count.

The answer. I wrote about it earlier to Speedo. He was lucky. Fortunate. You there's still a chance. But will it be the same? Will the feeling still be there. That's what I thought. Will she up and leave again? For what reason this time? Looking back I have NO regrets. You should neither.

Let her make the first move in determining if your relationship is worth salvaging. The ball is in her court.

 

[ketostix]

Originally posted by pancakepalace
I know what you are saying rollo and thanks for the advice speedo_meme.

At this point, I don't pickup or msn her all the time. I msn'ed her once and we chatted a bit then I said we should talk on the phone but she was too busy. Since then, I haven't msn'ed her when I see her on.

6 months seems like a very long time though. But, I know what you mean by clearing the dust. I got a girl back once like that way back.

I don't plan on contacting her anymore unless she does.

I might phone her next week since I'll be in her neck of the woods. Just to see if she wants to meet.

In attempting to raise a girls interest level back up regarding online contact, what do you think is more effective, to play ganji and not be seen online, or to be online but not message her. In the first tactic it might be a case of out of sight out of mind, and in the second it might be a case of being seen as too available. Any thoughts on this?

 

[pancakepalace]

regarding online contact, what do you think is more effective, to play ganji and not be seen online, or to be online but not message her.

I was thinking about this problem.

I think a bit of both is good. What I do is block her for a few days then back again. Just mixing it up.

If you were always on and then never on, she will know you blocked her. If you simply change your pattern she will be wondering what is happening.

Be off at night, so she thinks you are out with girls enjoying yourself.

 

[ketostix]

Originally posted by pancakepalace
I was thinking about this problem.

I think a bit of both is good. What I do is block her for a few days then back again. Just mixing it up.

If you were always on and then never on, she will know you blocked her. If you simply change your pattern she will be wondering what is happening.

Be off at night, so she thinks you are out with girls enjoying yourself.

This is my thinking too. Like say you have a pattern of being online a certain times of the day that she is also. So you just don't show up for a few days, then log on for say a few minutes without messaging her. With ganji the idea is to totally dissapear for a a week or more, but it just seems again you'd be out of sight and out of mind.

 

[Nightwing]

Originally posted by Rollo
Pancake,

Everyone please excuse my grammatical errors. I was in a hurry to post that before a meeting.

Man, I'm not saying six months is the way to go. But she doesn't want to be with you. If she did she'd call you. Suppose she starts dating other guys, but doesn't tell you?How would you feel? Knowing that you had feelings about her, but she doesn't have enough feeling to reciprocate?

Personally, I've been through the this stuff before. It's not worth it. If she was she be willing towork it out. Or it wouldn't be that big of a deal. If she's into you, you won't have to jump through hoops.

I agree with Rollo. Been there, done that myself.

Pancake, if you have 2 chicks you're banging right now, forget about her. Think of it in sports terms, if you lost your starter, why sweat it if you got 2 players that can come off the bench and score some points just as good??

Put the ex on backburner status. Chicks are like vampires-they can suck you of your energy, emotionally, physically and spirtually if you let the. Devote your energy to more worthwhile endeavors like your education, a hobby, or making some money. Don't EVER let yourself get sucked into a chick's world. She must enter yours.

 

[pancakepalace]

You guys were right. I ain't worth it.

Called her tonight, but she was way not into it. Even told me she had to go because her date was waiting outside.

Well I am doing what I should have done a month ago... next

Life sucks

 

[Nightwing]

Originally posted by pancakepalace
You guys were right. I ain't worth it.

Called her tonight, but she was way not into it. Even told me she had to go because her date was waiting outside.

Well I am doing what I should have done a month ago... next

Life sucks

Hate to tell you "I told you so". When you play the indifferent role, don't ACT like you don't care, actually DON'T CARE! BTW, you posted your first initial post on the 27th, and she's got a new guy on the 31st--four days later?? That's less than a week!! Sounds like she had found your replacement way before your discussion with her where she claimed to be so indecisive. Her indecisivness was just her BS way of telling you that you've been replaced, she just didnt have the decency to tell you that.

 

[DoubleA]

Hey.

Nightwing is right.

Move on. It's for the best. You just feel bad because to you, you're on the losing end of this.

This moment of pain will be there for a while. Take time and figure what are the things YOU want. And DO the things that make you happy and content.

Be selfish.

Because in reality, the shame isn't the fact you got replaced. The shame is you are depending on her for your happiness.

 

[pancakepalace]

Thanks guys

 

[SoCalMike]

no loss?

Originally posted by pancakepalace
Hey RipItOff,

I called her tonight following on Metalixia's advice. She didn't call back.

Then I saw her on msn and told her it would be cool to talk later. She said she was busy so I said that's cool.

I'll wait a week and try again. No loss...

No loss? How about your dignity and your time?

 

[pancakepalace]

Well my dignity is intacted. I just had to know. And time? Well, that's ok too. I didn't spend much time on her.

She called me unexpectedly and unsollicited today. We had a nice chat and didn't talk about the relationship. She was in a good mood.

I don't plan on contacting her though. I want to meet new girls now.

Maybe I'll stay friends with her later. We will see.

 

[Ricky]

Originally posted by Rollo



Because in reality, the shame isn't the fact you got replaced. The shame is you are depending on her for your happiness.

This is actually what I've learned most from my breakup this year.

But to be honest it's even deeper than just being needy. I think we all grow attached to people we want in our lives. When they break up with us for no good reason I think it is fair to be upset (once again there are many good reasons for breaking up, but in my case I think she broke up for the same reason that we shouldn't have even tried, due to the distance) I ignored my gut feeling about it.

 

[pancakepalace]

Because in reality, the shame isn't the fact you got replaced. The shame is you are depending on her for your happiness.

This is so true. I never felt bad at the idea of being replaced. I want her hapiness.

But, of course, when you get attached to someone you really care about it's hard. When you break-up, it's like a death. You don't only lose that person, but you also lose a little bit of yourself. A part of yourself you had discovered through the other person dies when they leave.