Text messages for Day-2s... How often?

[ParisParis]

Does anyone have any good advice on how often to text after getting a number? (NOTE: I live in Europe where everyone sends SMSs instead of calling [By the way, if any of you have any anti-sms/pro-calling arguments, I'd love to hear them])

Anyway... my day-2 ratio is good. over 1/2 of the girls whose numbers I get end up meeting me a second time. Still there is that 1/2 that I don't know how to handle.

I'll meet a girl, have a great interaction with her, get the digits and bail. Then I'll wait 24 hours before texting her not to seem needy. Then I'll text her and often not get a response. I might wait a few hours and call her then instead of text messaging - I'll get the answering machine (translation: she sees it's me and doesn't want to pick up) ... then I might text her again a couple days later, towards the end of the week and say something like ... "hey there is a great party tonight at such and such, etc. etc.) in which case I'll get either no response or else a wishy-washy "hey, I meant to respond earlier but I've been busy... as for the the party, I'm not sure..." etc. etc.

...I'm sure this just means the girl either is weird, has a boyfriend, or isn't interested in me for some reason, but maybe someone has an idea of why my timing and technique isn't perfect. Does anyone for example, get a girl's number and not call it before 7 days have passed...?

 

[ParisParis]

Lol, posting a reply to my own thread...

Lol, posting a reply to my own thread... anyway, here's an interesting article I found...

http://seanmessenger.com/2006/11/ping-her-with-good-feelings-texting.html

Some controversial ideas, worth a try...

"With text, be quick and cute. Don't go for too ****y. Remember, ****y doesn't work without body language and non-verbal cues. Your text should be like a cute little note you drop in her purse that pings her to remember the good feelings she had when with you. That's all."

 

[noirsake]

Well when calling a woman, you should call her on the 3rd or 4th day. Don't call on Fridays or weekends for it may make it seem that you are desperate for a date. Like for example, you get a number on tues. you should call on monday night or tuesday night. always past 8pm tho.

When you leave a msg dont contact her untill she contacts you. if you send her a txt, wait 1 or 2 days and then if she still hasnt txt you back, call her. dont mention anything about the txt you sent. if you leave a msg, dont contact her again unless she contacts you. chances are that if she dosnt contact you after 2 attempts, shes not interested.

 

[noirsake]

Well when calling a woman, you should call her on the 3rd or 4th day. Don't call on Fridays or weekends for it may make it seem that you are desperate for a date. Like for example, you get a number on tues. you should call on monday night or tuesday night. always past 8pm tho.

When you leave a msg dont contact her untill she contacts you. if you send her a txt, wait 1 or 2 days and then if she still hasnt txt you back, call her. dont mention anything about the txt you sent. if you leave a msg, dont contact her again unless she contacts you. chances are that if she dosnt contact you after 2 attempts, shes not interested.

oh ya. about your quote. i disagree. txt is great for ****y comedy. dont leave "cute" messages cuz they creep women out when you first meet them. REALLY creep them out.

 

[noirsake]

lol accidently reposted. my bad again. ****
sorry >< been a long day

but about about your quote. i disagree. txt is great for ****y comedy. dont leave "cute" messages cuz they creep women out when you first meet them. REALLY creep them out.

 

[Ostepop]

Stop stop stop!

Your braking all the "rules" of texting\calling girls.

Atleast your braking my rules.

Anyways, first of all txting and calling both have their pros and cons, with txting its easier to play it cool and be smooth, however its also much easier to reject a guy with a sms, than over the phone. I would say that calling leaves a much bigger impression than texting, but its also harder to be smooth. Just go by how confident you feel, but keep in mind that if you can pull off sounding cool and interesting on the phone, you will leave a bigger impression.

Il try to dissect your post and leave some advice,hope it will help you.

Then I'll wait 24 hours before texting her not to seem needy.

First of all, there is no perfect timing as to when you call a girl. Call her whenever the **** you feel like it, personally thought, i tend to wait longer than 24 hours, but it depends on how i get the number and what rapport i have build with her.

If i get the feeling a girl i just met is into me, i wait with calling her. I basically ignore her for up to one week. That im a bit mysterious, i dont come off needy and wussy and they are usually a bit suprised and glad for me calling them.

If its a girl that gets hit on often by many many guys, i tend to do some ****y\funny sms thing within 2 day, but there is no hard rule. I tend to send smses rather than calling those girls, but never analyzed why.

A VERY VERY VERY good opener is if you remember something funny you laughed with her about, and use that as a opener on a sms. Say you met on the club and had some stupid laughs about something silly, next time you see whatever you laugh about together, take a picture of it, and make some kind of joke about it.

Example: lets say you and her meet at a club and the two of you had some fun joking about something, in this example that something being a waffle. Next time your eating waffles, take a picture of the waffle and say something funny that she will remember. I have NEVER not gotten a reply using this opener(thought i just started using it, so maybe thats why)

Then I'll text her and often not get a response.

What are you telling to her? If shes a HB, she probably gets 10 smses the day after a nightout from various wusses saying something generic about how fun they had and that they want to see her again. DON't say that. Its implied.

Say something to catch her interest, and if you cannot come up with something to say, dont send the goddamn message just for the sake of sending it. There is no point in doing that, there is no "timing" rule, dont send a message just because you feel you have to.

I might wait a few hours and call her then instead of text messaging - I'll get the answering machine (translation: she sees it's me and doesn't want to pick up) ... .

NO NO NO NO NO!!! DO NOT do this. If youve allready initated contact, she WILL respond if shes into you. Trying to call a few hours later will only make you seem like a needy\stalker person.

What do you think have changed within this time period? She allready gotten your txt, if she liked you, she would have responded. You being persistent, imo just shows her that your a looser.

Get it? After initating contact, if there is no response, don't try to call a few hours later. Let her get in touch with you, if she doesn't, well to bad for her.

Not only this, but girls often play these sort of games to figure out if your cool or not, if youve txted her, dont txt her again. Sometimes she will reply later, after shes decided your not some kind of stalker\wuss\needy guy.

Being persistant is a turn off.

then I might text her again a couple days later, towards the end of the week and say something like ... "hey there is a great party tonight at such and such, etc. etc.) in which case I'll get either no response or else a wishy-washy "hey, I meant to respond earlier but I've been busy... as for the the party, I'm not sure..." etc. etc.

You haven't talked to her at all, after your initial number close, you have not gotten any response from her when trying to get in touch with her, what makes you think that she wants to go with you to a party? Girls give out numbers all the time, your just another guy. Another needy generic whuzz.

Your coming off as your trying to hard, and your freaking her out. RELAX.

The whisy washy response your getting is her trying to let you down gently.

...I'm sure this just means the girl either is weird, has a boyfriend, or isn't interested in me for some reason, but maybe someone has an idea of why my timing and technique isn't perfect.

No, it means your freaking her out

Persistance is a turn off. Calling\txting somebody again and again without a response, is just going to lower her interest in you \freak you out. Play it cool, initiate contact once, then wait. Calling somebody you dont know several times during one week without the other person ever responding makes you seem obsessed.

 

[ParisParis]

Thanks Noirsake ... and Thanks Ostepop especially for your long, indepth reply!

 

[ParisParis]

Being persistant is a turn off.

About this issue of persistance... I would agree that being persistant is a turn, however David D and Tyler and all these guys say that being persistent can be a good thing.
One of my problems is that I am a good looking guy who might come off as too much of a PUA and player, since I always have 7s and 8s hanging off my neck. Then I meet a 9 or a 10 (or perhaps just another 7 or 8) and get her number and text her. And then when she doesn't respond the first day, I get to thinking maybe in this case I should be more persistant. Maybe she thinks I am just looking for a quick easy lay since she saw me at the club with 2 other girls the same night. Maybe she wants to be a challenge. Then again, maybe this thought is idiotic - probably she just isn't interested and I am just dreaming. Still, usually at clubs I am sitting with a table of pretty girls, so when I meet another one and she sees me with all these girls, I take her number, and when I right I act ****y+funny, cool and detached, but I'll often not get a response and I feel that I should act less cool and detached because I was with a lot of amorous girls at the club. The whole "not coming off as a player" thing has be confused. Be persistant or not?

 

[Lust]

How about this...

You organize the day 2 FIRST, before you get the number.

Then call or text to finalize plans or whatever.

I would always suggest you to set up a day 2 before asking for the number, if you can't convince her to see you again when you're there, with her, being able to hear and touch her, then what are your chances one the phone? Or via SMS?

 

[Bvbidd]

Ostepop when your waiting all this time, she's busy with other guys while your using your hand.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

All you need to know (from the article)

"You have to just assume you KNOW when you're together whether or not it's on for the future. You can feel how strong the connection is. If it's really there, just don't screw anything up. Send her a cute SMS the next day, let her reply, then SMS telling her when you'll call. Then call, have a short, fun chat, and set the date and time to meet again."
​

I go along with this however it should be stressed that you should not assume, you should know if there was enough chemistry (not just rapport) that would promote viable future dates. WAY TOO OFTEN guys focus on the next steps and overlook whether or not they are even compatible.

 

[tsmith2334]

Lol, posting a reply to my own thread... anyway, here's an interesting article I found...

http://seanmessenger.com/2006/11/ping-her-with-good-feelings-texting.html

Some controversial ideas, worth a try...

"With text, be quick and cute. Don't go for too ****y. Remember, ****y doesn't work without body language and non-verbal cues. Your text should be like a cute little note you drop in her purse that pings her to remember the good feelings she had when with you. That's all."

what if you text eachother back and forth every now and then and you don't always get replies?

is that a real a bad sign? could the girl be ignoring you? playing hard to get? maybe gotten it later and decided not reply?

in other words are you screwed or does it not mean a whole lot...?

 

[Ostepop]

what if you text eachother back and forth every now and then and you don't always get replies?

is that a real a bad sign? could the girl be ignoring you? playing hard to get? maybe gotten it later and decided not reply?

in other words are you screwed or does it not mean a whole lot...?

It depends, i think a lot of it are games, or "tests" if you allways keep on initiating contact, she will gradually loose interest unless your very interesting.

 

[tsmith2334]

It depends, i think a lot of it are games, or "tests" if you allways keep on initiating contact, she will gradually loose interest unless your very interesting.

how often is too often? i try to initiate contact with this girl about once every two weeks, just so she doesn't forget about me (we go to different universities).

so yea, we usually text eachother back and forth about once a month... i texted her from the bar last night kinda late (around 1ish).. and she didn't reply. obviously i dont know what her circumstances were, i'm just hoping she didn't text back because she's losing interest. i mean i know i've not texted back in the past, just trying to be a little challenging and limiting my supply, so maybe she is doing the same thing.

i am just wondering if there is some kind of cardinal rule that if a girl doesn't reply to you it's an indicator that's she losing interest?

 

[Monkey]

what if you text eachother back and forth every now and then and you don't always get replies?

is that a real a bad sign? could the girl be ignoring you? playing hard to get? maybe gotten it later and decided not reply?

in other words are you screwed or does it not mean a whole lot...?

Show her a great time on dates then completely DISAPPEAR in between! Keep her hungry.
Forget all this texting nonsense.

 

[tsmith2334]

Show her a great time on dates then completely DISAPPEAR in between! Keep her hungry.
Forget all this texting nonsense.

ohh yea? I see the logic behind your idea, but I just figured a text every couple weeks would be helpful to stay fresh in her mind (especially if your at different schools)

i'm just worried because i didn't get a reply to my last one.. so i'm hoping that's not some huge indicator of losing interest. is it or am i just blowing things out of proportion?

 

[KarmaSutra]

I'll say this again:

KARMIC LAW #14 - Do not Instant Message, Email or text a woman if you're courting her. You instantly become her girlfriend and will not escape that club.

If you have a phone use it as it was intended. Call her and make it brief. This way you give her the gift of intrigue and not bog down her thinking when you pop into her head throughout the day.

 

[tsmith2334]

KARMIC LAW #14 - Do not Instant Message, Email or text a woman if you're courting her. You instantly become her girlfriend and will not escape that club.

If you have a phone use it as it was intended. Call her and make it brief. This way you give her the gift of intrigue and not bog down her thinking when you pop into her head throughout the day.

That's solid advice. If it's anything important, I go with a phone call. But I feel like the occasional text, IM, and wall posting can work (when done right).

We're also from different generations. Texts and IMs are alot more acceptible among college students as opposed to 33 year olds. I think so, anyway.

 

[KarmaSutra]

We're also from different generations. Texts and IMs are alot more acceptible among college students as opposed to 33 year olds. I think so, anyway.

The generation gap has absolutely NOTHING to do with our interactions with women. Nothing.

 

[tsmith2334]

The generation gap has absolutely NOTHING to do with our interactions with women. Nothing.

Ah I beg to differ (in this rare case). Text messages are a way of life amongst college students and teens.

But I digress... truthfully, how bad of a sign is an unanswered text? Is it something to worry about?