Text game

[EyeBRollin]

Here’s my thing - so I just banged the HB 7.5 I spoke about in the other thread (to which I thank you for your advice!). Since we banged, she has been texting almost nonstop with very high interest. Due to our schedules we couldn’t see each other for 9 days (down to 7 now). If I essentially ignored these texts and told her I would call her once within 9 days until I see her next I think there’s a much higher likelihood I get a flake for the 3rd date than if I’m in constant, light hearted banter with her via text here and there.

Ive said at least three times in this thread that I do not ignore incoming attention from women. Accept their advances but you aren’t the one to initiate. If the next date is already set, respond to text conversation type texts by steering her off texting.

 

[Barrister]

Ive said at least three times in this thread that I do not ignore incoming attention from women. Accept their advances but you aren’t the one to initiate. If the next date is already set, respond to text conversation type texts by steering her off texting.

I know you said you didn’t ignore their texts. But indicated you would just suggest a phone call if she wanted to talk. My only point is I’m not sure how realistic it is to always just say “call me” in this day in age for women under 35. I take your point about the over-texting. I don’t completely agree with it but definitely respect it.

 

[Clamslammer]

So I went ahead and created an OLD account. A couple of ladies have started texting me. Does anyone have any advise as to resources that can help with text game, videos, books etc.

Or does anyone have any specific advise about text game. What kind of texts have worked for you?

Yeah, stop being like the rest of the guys trying to impress or be her pen pal over text. Use it as a tool to schedule a meeting, she is with it or not.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I know you said you didn’t ignore their texts. But indicated you would just suggest a phone call if she wanted to talk. My only point is I’m not sure how realistic it is to always just say “call me” in this day in age for women under 35. I take your point about the over-texting. I don’t completely agree with it but definitely respect it.

As men, we dictate the terms of the mating dance. I establish the communication pattern early as it sets the tone of the relationship. Phone use is the biggest downfall for men. I 90% agree with Doc Love and Corey Wayne here, but I've modified it through my own trials and tribulations. The main principle is that if a woman is initiating contact regularly, she is investing work and feelings into you. She cannot be dropping you if she is initiating. This is how I establish that pattern:

Step 1: Before the First Date
I set up my dates directly through whatever dating app I'm using. During COVID I'm pulling straight from OLD. I try to set the date up for no more than a week out, preferably only 3-4 days away. I leave her my number once the date is established. Some women request a phone call before meeting. I oblige for a 15 minute or so call as it is still forward progress off the app so I'll take it. After about 15 minutes or so of banter, I'll ask again for the date and get it set up before getting off. Since the date is only 3-4 days away, I usually don't find women chatting it up in this time period.

Step 2: After the First Date
Provided I liked her, I wait 5-9 days to call for the second date. That's 5-9 days of radio science. The goal is to see if she breaks the silence and starts chasing early. Some women will text you that night to say they made it home - this doesn't count. Begin the count on the next day. We're looking for a "hey how are you" or "good morning" text from her in the 5-9 days. If she does that, I'll respond and use that incoming opportunity to set up date #2, rather than wait the 5-9 days.

If she doesn't reach out at all, there's three explanations:
-She wasn't feeling you on the first date and won't even agree to a 2nd date or call you back (~50% or so likelihood)
-She is structured and will give you some attitude for waiting so long. She may have liked you but is a control freak that expects you to call, thus her interest has dissipated (~30% likelihood)
-She will be excited to hear from you and accept the second date (~20% likelihood)

Step 3: Once the Second Date is Established
The girls who initiated after the first date will continue to initiate with another "good morning" or "hey how are you" before date #2. From here it is a judgement call from how far away the date is. If it is 2-3 days from the next date, I send the following text exchange:

Her: Hey how are you?
Me: Well. How are you?
Her: I'm good.
Me: Glad to hear. Can you do me a favor?
Her: Yes?
Me: The favor: I appreciate the texts but lets save the chatting for our date
Her: Um ok (or something of that nature)

She'll ask about it on the date, but she'll show up. Her hamster wheel will spin and she will ask all her girlfriends what that means. If the date is 4+ days away, I use this line instead:

The favor: I appreciate the texts but prefer phone calls

She's initiating, so she'll comply. You're giving the green light for her to call you. Keep the phone conversations under 30 minutes. 15-20 minutes is ideal. Only initiate phone calls with her if 3 days of radio silence from her and the date is further than 3 days away. That will be your frequency going forward. They are on the hook and won't go anywhere. Rinse and repeat steps 2 & 3 for these girls for all subsequent dates. Always use the next incoming text (excluding the "made it home") after a date to set up the next date.

For the chicks that don't initiate that accepted the second date, they will initiate the day of or day before the 2nd date to confirm if it is still happening. For only them, proceed to step 4

Step 4: After the Second Date
Wait another 5-9 days to call for date #3. 5-9 days is your frequency until they break the silence like the other girls did in Step 2. Rinse and repeat until she initiates, turns down dates, or doesn't call you back.

You have to establish the pattern from the beginning because you cannot undo or change it for the rest of your life knowing the girl.

 

[Barrister]

So I went ahead and created an OLD account. A couple of ladies have started texting me. Does anyone have any advise as to resources that can help with text game, videos, books etc.

Or does anyone have any specific advise about text game. What kind of texts have worked for you?

OP, I never directly responded to you but here’s my advice (others in here will disagree).

Before the 1st date text/DM only to set up the date. Exchange a few lines about some sh1t in their profile then ask them out. Don’t waste time. After date 1 keep it light but very brief still. After that point - if you have banged them it changes then. If you want to keep it going do mirroring. But still initiate less than they do. Be smart about it.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

So I went ahead and created an OLD account. A couple of ladies have started texting me. Does anyone have any advise as to resources that can help with text game, videos, books etc.

Or does anyone have any specific advise about text game. What kind of texts have worked for you?

As much as Youtubers make it out to be, texting is not a game. At least not a real one. If your text with a girl you haven't met for more than 2 days straight you are wasting your time in our humble opinion.

Texting should only be used to carry on any momentum you had when you cold approached the girl (or matched with the girl and exchanged some banter, if you are into online dating, we advise to stay away from it) and then to set up a date and place to actually hang out in person. That's where the real game begins.

But again, if you have the time and patience for texting go for it, we just don't have a lot of advice on it as we don't advise it.

Modern Man Advice

 

[CoandaEffect]

OP, I never directly responded to you but here’s my advice (others in here will disagree).

Before the 1st date text/DM only to set up the date. Exchange a few lines about some sh1t in their profile then ask them out. Don’t waste time. After date 1 keep it light but very brief still. After that point - if you have banged them it changes then. If you want to keep it going do mirroring. But still initiate less than they do. Be smart about it.

I think this is sound advice.

On OLD I have decided to ask for a date on text number three. I have one lady (she’s one of the really tall chicks I mentioned in another thread) who responds to me within a few hours and my next text (no. 3) I’m requesting a date.

I think there might be some merit in a few texts back and forth before asking for a date. If she replies quickly she is more keen than someone that does not. For example, there is another lady that takes one week to reply and I think she may now have ghosted me. I have a theory that women that respond slowly are more likely to flake. That could be BS of course, I think about these things too much.

 

[CoandaEffect]

Thanks everyone for your replies. A mixed bag of opinions, but still valuable. I’m quite a fan of Corey Wayne, so I tend to go with fewer texts and use them to setup dates. Quite a few guys here seem to agree with that.

How about escalating in texts? Should they become flirty and suggestive? If so how is that done? When should it be done, before first date or only after you’ve banged? Should escalation only be done in person?

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

No. That’s backwards. She thinks more about the guy that isn’t blowing up her phone.

I just had a chick call me today because she “hadn’t heard from me in 3 days.” I have only one date in with her. My inaction caused her to act. Make sense?

I never said to blow up her phone. I usually only send a few texts every once in a while.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I never said to blow up her phone. I usually only send a few texts every once in a while.

For what reason? And what is once in a while?

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

For what reason? And what is once in a while?

Because you lose momentum with them otherwise. Maybe it's different for me because I mostly date younger women. On average I text them about 3-5x per week, or about 1-2x per week if i'm already ****ing them.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Because you lose momentum with them otherwise. Maybe it's different for me because I mostly date younger women. On average I text them about 3-5x per week, or about 1-2x per week if i'm already ****ing them.

Thats way too often and you aren’t accomplishing anything. Momentum depends on her, not you.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Momentum depends on her, not you.

Idk what that even means.

Lets say you meet a girl on OLD and get her number immediately but can't hang out for a week and a half. Are you suggesting you just maintain radio silence the whole time and hope she will stay interested? That never happens.

 

[Barrister]

Idk what that even means.

Lets say you meet a girl on OLD and get her number immediately but can't hang out for a week and a half. Are you suggesting you just maintain radio silence the whole time and hope she will stay interested? That never happens.

This is similar to another exchange @EyeBRollin I had. Girl I have gone out with twice and banged the last time I couldn't see each other for 9 days after that. If I just completely ignored her for 9 days I would say there is HIGH chance of a flake by the time the time for the date rolls around. She has reached out every day since Tuesday (day of 2nd date and banging) wanting to text. We have exchanged some texts each day since then that have been mostly light/playful. If I just ignored her or said "hey I am really busy but I will call sometime in the next few days" and called her one time in the 9 days I think you lose a lot of potential for easy rapport building.

 

[Velasco]

as long as she is initiating, 2 or 3 back and forth texts is fine (best for her to always be last to text tho). big thing is the one who initiates. which i think is eyebrollin's point. if ur the one initiating 3-5X week...that is way too often

 

[Barrister]

as long as she is initiating, 2 or 3 back and forth texts is fine (best for her to always be last to text tho). big thing is the one who initiates. which i think is eyebrollin's point. if ur the one initiating 3-5X week...that is way too often

Agreed on if the man is initiating 3-5 times a week that is too much. If the woman is initiating though with high-interest level texts I don't think you ignore those or say "I will call you some other time I am too busy to text." Let her initiate but don't ignore or put off high interest IMO.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Idk what that even means.

Lets say you meet a girl on OLD and get her number immediately but can't hang out for a week and a half. Are you suggesting you just maintain radio silence the whole time and hope she will stay interested? That never happens.

I put dating apps on hold if my schedule isn’t free over the next week. I also don’t ask for the number; I ask for the date. I ask directly for the date on the app. Once the date is agreed upon I leave her my number. Then I just show up. 90% of the time she will text me at some point to confirm the date.

 

[EyeBRollin]

This is similar to another exchange @EyeBRollin I had. Girl I have gone out with twice and banged the last time I couldn't see each other for 9 days after that. If I just completely ignored her for 9 days I would say there is HIGH chance of a flake by the time the time for the date rolls around. She has reached out every day since Tuesday (day of 2nd date and banging) wanting to text. We have exchanged some texts each day since then that have been mostly light/playful. If I just ignored her or said "hey I am really busy but I will call sometime in the next few days" and called her one time in the 9 days I think you lose a lot of potential for easy rapport building.

Youre missing the point. You have to establish communication pattern immediately. Ill refer you to this:

As men, we dictate the terms of the mating dance. I establish the communication pattern early as it sets the tone of the relationship. Phone use is the biggest downfall for men. I 90% agree with Doc Love and Corey Wayne here, but I've modified it through my own trials and tribulations. The main principle is that if a woman is initiating contact regularly, she is investing work and feelings into you. She cannot be dropping you if she is initiating. This is how I establish that pattern:

Step 1: Before the First Date
I set up my dates directly through whatever dating app I'm using. During COVID I'm pulling straight from OLD. I try to set the date up for no more than a week out, preferably only 3-4 days away. I leave her my number once the date is established. Some women request a phone call before meeting. I oblige for a 15 minute or so call as it is still forward progress off the app so I'll take it. After about 15 minutes or so of banter, I'll ask again for the date and get it set up before getting off. Since the date is only 3-4 days away, I usually don't find women chatting it up in this time period.

Step 2: After the First Date
Provided I liked her, I wait 5-9 days to call for the second date. That's 5-9 days of radio science. The goal is to see if she breaks the silence and starts chasing early. Some women will text you that night to say they made it home - this doesn't count. Begin the count on the next day. We're looking for a "hey how are you" or "good morning" text from her in the 5-9 days. If she does that, I'll respond and use that incoming opportunity to set up date #2, rather than wait the 5-9 days.

If she doesn't reach out at all, there's three explanations:
-She wasn't feeling you on the first date and won't even agree to a 2nd date or call you back (~50% or so likelihood)
-She is structured and will give you some attitude for waiting so long. She may have liked you but is a control freak that expects you to call, thus her interest has dissipated (~30% likelihood)
-She will be excited to hear from you and accept the second date (~20% likelihood)

Step 3: Once the Second Date is Established
The girls who initiated after the first date will continue to initiate with another "good morning" or "hey how are you" before date #2. From here it is a judgement call from how far away the date is. If it is 2-3 days from the next date, I send the following text exchange:

Her: Hey how are you?
Me: Well. How are you?
Her: I'm good.
Me: Glad to hear. Can you do me a favor?
Her: Yes?
Me: The favor: I appreciate the texts but lets save the chatting for our date
Her: Um ok (or something of that nature)

She'll ask about it on the date, but she'll show up. Her hamster wheel will spin and she will ask all her girlfriends what that means. If the date is 4+ days away, I use this line instead:

The favor: I appreciate the texts but prefer phone calls

She's initiating, so she'll comply. You're giving the green light for her to call you. Keep the phone conversations under 30 minutes. 15-20 minutes is ideal. Only initiate phone calls with her if 3 days of radio silence from her and the date is further than 3 days away. That will be your frequency going forward. They are on the hook and won't go anywhere. Rinse and repeat steps 2 & 3 for these girls for all subsequent dates. Always use the next incoming text (excluding the "made it home") after a date to set up the next date.

For the chicks that don't initiate that accepted the second date, they will initiate the day of or day before the 2nd date to confirm if it is still happening. For only them, proceed to step 4

Step 4: After the Second Date
Wait another 5-9 days to call for date #3. 5-9 days is your frequency until they break the silence like the other girls did in Step 2. Rinse and repeat until she initiates, turns down dates, or doesn't call you back.

You have to establish the pattern from the beginning because you cannot undo or change it for the rest of your life knowing the girl.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

as long as she is initiating, 2 or 3 back and forth texts is fine (best for her to always be last to text tho). big thing is the one who initiates. which i think is eyebrollin's point. if ur the one initiating 3-5X week...that is way too often

I don't really initiate at all but I usually just reply to whatever they sent last. If the convo dies out or they aren't bothering to make conversation I next them.

I put dating apps on hold if my schedule isn’t free over the next week. I also don’t ask for the number; I ask for the date. I ask directly for the date on the app. Once the date is agreed upon I leave her my number. Then I just show up. 90% of the time she will text me at some point to confirm the date.

Sometimes they're busy too. I've tried a similar method towards what you describe, because of how much I hate wasting time with texting, and that approach literally never worked for me. How old are you and the women you're dating? And where do you live?

 

[Barrister]

Youre missing the point. You have to establish communication pattern immediately. Ill refer you to this:

Brother - it's not that I am missing your point. It is just that I don't necessarily agree. I think you open yourself up to more flaking than you would need to otherwise. I agree that a man should not be initiating very much. For instance, in your guide you posted you essentially cut off her attempt to text and say it makes her hamster wheel spin. That is probably true - but I also think you may come off a bit harsh there where if you just had some playful banter you could increase rapport before the date. If you keep it light and simple you can increase rapport while still maintaining mystery. I do believe in only texting to get a date before the 1st date -- but after that point I don't have an issue with RESPONDING to her high interest level texts thereafter -- essentially mirroring.

And look - if it works for you that is completely fine. I just wouldn't operate like that.