Text Fail or Major B****

[Jonblood]

So I call this girl around 3pm and no answer, I leave no message

Her - Sorry I'm at work whats up?
me - ive gotta go train this kid at my gym i cant talk gimma a call later
6 hours later
me - so where do you work that they keep you this late at night? lol
her - Lol i was doing some office stuff at my sisters work all day - now im at her house
me - you sound like such a good sister lol when is she due (her sister is pregnant and shes been helping her)
her - well thats my other sister she's due on tuesday
me - that's cool my niece was just born in january...u excited to be an aunt?

the end..

Should I text her tomorrow and neg her about not answering? She took forever to respond to the texts too, i hate that. What's the point?

 

[Igetit!]

So I call this girl around 3pm and no answer, I leave no message

Her - Sorry I'm at work whats up?
me - ive gotta go train this kid at my gym i cant talk gimma a call later
6 hours later
me - so where do you work that they keep you this late at night? lol
her - Lol i was doing some office stuff at my sisters work all day - now im at her house
me - you sound like such a good sister lol when is she due (her sister is pregnant and shes been helping her)
her - well thats my other sister she's due on tuesday
me - that's cool my niece was just born in january...u excited to be an aunt?

the end..

Should I text her tomorrow and neg her about not answering? She took forever to respond to the texts too, i hate that. What's the point?

You see the part of your thread I enlarged and put in bold?


That's exactly the question that came to mind when I read that text exchange between you and this girl.


What's the point? What was the point of that text convo you had with her?



What do you want with her? To take her out? To date her?


If that's what you want,then WHY are you talking about her working late at night and her being an aunt?


That's all comfort.


She may feel comfortable with you,but as far as her being ATTRACTED to you,that kind of talk ain't gonna get the job done.


Where's the busting? The teasing? The negging?

Have you asked her out?

Have you told her you like the way she's looked in something she's worn?



Has ANYTHING sexual come from you towards her?



It's A.C.S,attraction,comfort,seduction...in that order.


If you don't stop playing "footsie" with this fluff/filler talk,you're friendzone bound.



The fact that her sister is pregnant and you've just recently had a baby born into your immediate family is an EXCELLENT conversation piece,but it should be used AFTER attraction,or that is,AFTER the busting/teasing/negging/etc.



Get her attracted FIRST. Once that's done,then you can share commonalities to bond over.


If you bond first without the attraction,it's friendzone city.

 

[Jonblood]

Hey man, I appreciate your input. Her friend told me that she was attracted, and I called her planning on having good convo c+f and dhv and then making plans for the weekend. That is what I was going to get to in the next text, however I can't cus the b**** didn't answer.

Also, I read negging can be bad through texts because what you say can't be coupled with non-verbal communication and it may be perceived differently that you intended.

 

[falconslax89]

im curious...how do you convey attraction through messaging..whether it be facebook, texting, whatever

 

[Jonblood]

im curious...how do you convey attraction through messaging..whether it be facebook, texting, whatever

thats a whole other thread...I'm trying to get advice and feedback on what I did.

 

[omega05]

i really hate it when a convo over text stops mid convo.

 

[Igetit!]

im curious...how do you convey attraction through messaging..whether it be facebook, texting, whatever

I'm curious about this as well.


It you can text her,then you can call her.


You need to call her up and do the negging/teasing/etc.


Texting should shouldn't be used to generate attraction with a girl.


She needs to hear your VOICE,to hear the confidence and manliness in it.



I only use texting as a way to exchange information,NOT to generate interest.


You need to get her on the phone where you can work.




The conversation in your orginal post is a decent one,it's just out of place.


What I do is throw a little sexualness in there,then she how she responds. If she's cool with it,throw in a little more. then pull back a bit with a little comfort for a little while,then throw in some more sexualness.


I said "sexualness",not vulgarity or profanity.


Like i said before,it's good that you two have the baby/pregnancy thing as a common bond,but is she's NOT ATTRACTED TO YOU,then commonailty you two have won't matter.


So try to get her on the phone at a time you think she's not busy,and go SEXUAL on her.



Try not to let texting be your primary means of communicating with her,ESPECIALLY since you're at the beginning of a possible dating relationship.


Call her,or see her in person to do the attraction things. Use texting as a way to give info,such as tell her what time to do this or that,letting her know you're on your way to pick her up,etc.


Don't try to text to create attention....or to build comfort.


Do those things in person,or by phone.



Alright,hopefully some other members can chime in and throw in their 2 cents.

I'm off to work.

 

[Adonis PUA Trainer]

You don't seem like a bad conversationist, just remember texting is all subject to interpretation. It's a non-verbal form of communication, and your words are basically subject to her mood for interpretation. What doesn't work now can be perfectly fine with another girl. If it really becomes a problem with this girl just consider the fact you just weeded out a troubled case. Not worth dealing with. Keep me posted on how this goes

 

[Jonblood]

Guys, I did call her and she didn't answer. She didn't call back when I asked her to so I figured she was uncomfortable on the phone so I texted her about it. Why would she just stop mid convo? It has to be a sh** test..do I even want to be with a girl who does this stuff?

 

[Falcon25]

She has someone else.

 

[thecurtainfalls]

Guys, I did call her and she didn't answer. She didn't call back when I asked her to so I figured she was uncomfortable on the phone so I texted her about it. Why would she just stop mid convo? It has to be a sh** test..do I even want to be with a girl who does this stuff?

You're way too available. You're texting her about random stuff - that's very bad. That's a big way to land in the friend zone or worse. IGetIt!'s advice is clutch here, although I do disagree with him on one point - I do believe that you can generate some mild attraction through texting if done correctly, HOWEVER, you should limit yourself to 2-3 texts for every two days in my opinion. Texts should be use for two purposes and two only: setting up a date or figuring out the best time to call her (to set up a date), or to flirt a little bit while you two are at work/school and you couldn't otherwise chat. I like sending a flirty message or two and then disappearing, leaving her wanting more and wondering why I didn't keep texting or what I'm up to. Basically, exactly what this girl did to you, except she likely did it because she was bored out of her mind.

Anytime you find yourself locked into a text message CONVERSATION, just stop in the middle of it like she did, because no good can come of it.

Text her to flirt a little and figure out when you can meet up. If you're having this conversation with her over text, you're signaling that there's nothing else more important going on in your day, that you can sit there and BS about small talk until she ends the interaction.

 

[Forty0ztoFreedom]

I stopped trying to hold conversations in text for this reason. They all come off so boring and with EVERY text you send, you're putting the ball in her court. Not that it matters much if you truly don't give a sh*t, but still.

 

[Kailex]

I seriously felt bad as I read that text convo.
Like, reading something two females would text each other... not a guy who wants to date a girl.

Like, this was a convo I'd read MAYBE from a guy who is already deeply entrenched in a relationship with a woman... not a potential plate.

So I call this girl around 3pm and no answer, I leave no message

First mistake.

Her - Sorry I'm at work whats up?
me - ive gotta go train this kid at my gym i cant talk gimma a call later

Second mistake.

Now, RIGHT HERE, it is salvageable.
RIGHT HERE, you could turn this around... BUT, you did one thing terribly wrong. But I'll tell you what went right FIRST.

You see, she's at work, and obviously she can't pick up the phone, right?
At least she displayed enough interest to text you while she's at work. And then you do this:

"Gimma a call later"

WHY? Why can't YOU call her later?
Were you trying to measure her interest based on whether she called you or not? Next time YOU say: Hey, busy now, I'LL call YOU later.

You have the testicles. YOU MAKE THE CALL. Don't ask her to lead for you.

6 hours later
me - so where do you work that they keep you this late at night? lol

And... then it's all screwed up again.
This is conversation you have when you are OUT WITH HER.
Not on a text BEFORE a date.

And second... here's the next mistake. You told her to CALL YOU and then, (I'm guessing) you decided you weren't going to wait any longer and texted her instead.

You could have avoided all of this by simply telling her "I'll call you later" and then calling.

And avoided the tedious conversation about NOTHING.

her - Lol i was doing some office stuff at my sisters work all day - now im at her house
me - you sound like such a good sister lol when is she due (her sister is pregnant and shes been helping her)

Wake me up when this is over...

her - well thats my other sister she's due on tuesday
me - that's cool my niece was just born in january...u excited to be an aunt?

Oh it's over? Wonder why she stopped responding? First of all, you asked a question with an obvious answer. Of course she's excited. She's probably wondering what kind of a question is that and why you are talking to her about this stuff instead of asking her out... if I dozed off while reading that exchange, she probably did too.

the end..

Maybe.

Should I text her tomorrow and neg her about not answering? She took forever to respond to the texts too, i hate that. What's the point?

Oh god no. Neg her about not answering or NAG her about not answering?
She took forever, because she was probably busy and because that conversation WASN'T interesting. It wasn't about you and her DOING something... it was something she's probably asked by her GIRLfriends, not a potential.

You are actually KILLING her attraction to you.

Don't TEXT HER.

Next time, call her and ask her out. If she says YES, then there's still hope. If she says NO, then you know to move on.

If you call and she doesn't pick up, LEAVE A VOICEMAIL.
It doesn't have to be witty or funny: Hey, this is Jonblood, give me a call back.

That's good enough.

Stop this texting nonsense, you are losing the texting battle here.

And the fact that you are complaining about the fact that SHE takes too long to respond to texts, means that you don't have enough going on in your life and that you are just sitting there waiting for texts.

Stop it. SHE should be the one complaining about YOU being busy... not vice versa.

 

[Iceberg]

Guys, I did call her and she didn't answer. She didn't call back when I asked her to so I figured she was uncomfortable on the phone so I texted her about it. Why would she just stop mid convo? It has to be a sh** test..do I even want to be with a girl who does this stuff?

It's not a s**t test. It was a boring conversation that was going nowhere, so she went to sleep. I do it all the time.

And I hate the texting game in general. But I was super busy from work, and didn't have the energy to talk on the phone, so I used it this week to set up a date with a girl I met on Saturday. It involved 3 texts, me making fun of her music tastes, and it ended with "Hey it's gonna be beautiful out on Thursday. Let's get a drink." She offered to call me after work, I countered with "Let me call you. My schedule is crazy." because I don't wanna put the ball in her court and sit around waiting for her call. The end.

The point of my story? No chit-chat about sisters, her job, or being an aunt. All you had to do was:
Text 1: Hey, what's up it's jonblood. (Funny neg/interesting story.)
Text 2: I've been dying to go bowling. Me vs. you. Wednesday.

That's it. A text is not a phone conversation. It's a cheap, quick substitute for one. And you're too busy for mindless electronic chit-chat (or you're supposed to LOOK LIKE YOU ARE). She's not s*** testing you. She looked at your texts and said "I don't feel like typing my life story into a cell phone." and ignored your text.

And no. Don't neg her about not returning your text. Once again...you're supposed to be too busy to even notice stuff like that. You're out saving lives, banging models, and swimming in pools of money. You're a F'n superhero. Crap like a missed text doesn't even register on your radar.

 

[ENIGMA16]

If you call and she doesn't pick up, LEAVE A VOICEMAIL.

I agree with everything you said except this. I don't like leaving a voicemail because it basically puts the ball in her court. If I'm going to call her back then there's no point in leaving a voicemail. I just call back later.

But this really is just a personal preference kind of thing.


BTW, a simple rule for texting is that if it takes more than 3 texts you're doing it wrong.

 

[Jonblood]

Alright, so never again am I having a text convo with a prospect. Looking back I can definitely see how I'm creeping into the friendzone. I'm going to send her a text today telling her that I'm going to the park this weekend and that she should come with. period.

 

[ENIGMA16]

I'm going to send her a text today

No. Call.

 

[Kailex]

Alright, so never again am I having a text convo with a prospect. Looking back I can definitely see how I'm creeping into the friendzone. I'm going to CALL today telling her that I'm going to the park this weekend and that she should come with. period.

Fixed that for you.

Come on man.
MAN UP already. Grow some testes.

What happens if you text her and she doesn't respond... then you're sitting there waiting all day for a text and then coming back into this forum asking us why she won't respond or what it means or what not...

Does Kailex have to smack an AFC?

 

[Jonblood]

Okay, I figured a text would be easier for her because she is a shy girl. I'm going to call her, I guarantee she texts me back saying "what's up?" and here I am in a text convo again. Or I'll just say, "nada, when can I call you?"

 

[Forty0ztoFreedom]

What do you guys think about texting even if you're trying to set something up at work, where you can't call? I'm fvcking bored at work and a lot of the time come up with my plans then.