text evidence from my cheating wife

[Inker]

Prior to this, i have posted a few months ago that i have a gut feel that my wife is cheating with a guy who's her friend,

it happens a few hours ago, i checked her cellphone in front of her as we sat in our couch. I have checked the sent messages. i discovered her text message to his so-called guyfriend, i have a hunch she forgot to erased it as she went home awhile ago. My heart shattered when i read her messages to the guy, it says she loves him, that she hopes their relationship would last, that she even text her a good day on her way to her work, that she can't sleep the other day. She obviously erased the guy text in her inbox but she forgot to erase her sent messages to the guy, i confronted her about it, that am i really seeing what she says in those messages, she answers with a nod, i feel so ****ing stupid as my heart bleeds asking if they we're what i think they are...she ****ing nods.

I feel like a ****ing loser. I loved her but i can't stand the pain. I can imagine the reasons she said for all those hours she comes home late. ****, i feel like i can't stand the pain.

 

[Inker]

i just can't accept it and i hope i can through this. I'm no perfect husband but i've been a faithful one. when i read her say she loves the guy, i feel like...i've never felt this way,,,so much heartache...i dont know what to do, i hope you can lend me some advice, i really need it right now.

 

[Maximummax]

"that she hopes their relationship would last" what does this exactly means to you?

It means that other guy is a bad boy who tingled her vag and she is already afraid it might not last longer

 

[Rival]

Inker keep your head up man, your wife has betrayed you and broke every vowel of marriage. The trust is gone. I would kick her ass out if you can. I'm really sorry this happened to you but don't feel alone. Many many men out there have been through the exact same thing as you.

Like PairPlusRoyalFlush said, get in the gym and work that emotion out of you.

Do you guys have kids/legal binds together?

 

[Inker]

"that she hopes their relationship would last" what does this exactly means to you?

It means that other guy is a bad boy who tingled her vag and she is already afraid it might not last longer

What you mean to say was, given a chance, a girl would jump at an opportunity to cheat when opportunity presents itself to someone "badder" ? If that's the case, then humanity is hopeless. I believe there's someone out there who are faithful in a relationship. Thanks.

 

[Inker]

Inker keep your head up man, your wife has betrayed you and broke every vowel of marriage. The trust is gone. I would kick her ass out if you can. I'm really sorry this happened to you but don't feel alone. Many many men out there have been through the exact same thing as you.

Like PairPlusRoyalFlush said, get in the gym and work that emotion out of you.

Do you guys have kids/legal binds together?

Honestly, i need to fix myself and needs a headbutt to a wall just to keep my head straight and dont be fooled by what i'm feeling right now, I hate this feeling man. This is not enjoyable to feel.

We have kids, we are just renting a house.

 

[backbreaker]

http://images.wildammo.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/what-does-it-mean.gif




it's over bro. i am married. i can only imagine how i would feel if i found out my wife who i am crazy about, was cheating on me. I'd be pretty hurt / torn.


When my wife moved in with me / when I knew i had pretty much fallen for her and I could no longer put my guard up and she knew me and there were no more gams or anything, I developed a contingency break off plan, that regardless of how I feel at that time, I will follow, in the event that soemthing like this happens.


1. get out the house. i have a son so I can't nor would I want to kick her out. I'm not kicking my son out of my house. I'll go get an extended stay hotel for the time being and if it's something tha'ts going to be longer term, an apartment.


2. Go to the race track everyday for a week. That's my sanctuary.

3. Go to a strip club.

4. Change phone number so that my wife cannot successfully get ahold of me. She knows me, and and knows what buttons to push to get me to reconsider. I'm a human being at the end of the day.


5. Divorce.




It would suck, but that's what i would do. that's along the lines of what you need to do

 

[Inker]

http://images.wildammo.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/what-does-it-mean.gif




it's over bro. i am married. i can only imagine how i would feel if i found out my wife who i am crazy about, was cheating on me. I'd be pretty hurt / torn.


When my wife moved in with me / when I knew i had pretty much fallen for her and I could no longer put my guard up and she knew me and there were no more gams or anything, I developed a contingency break off plan, that regardless of how I feel at that time, I will follow, in the event that soemthing like this happens.


1. get out the house. i have a son so I can't nor would I want to kick her out. I'm not kicking my son out of my house. I'll go get an extended stay hotel for the time being and if it's something tha'ts going to be longer term, an apartment.


2. Go to the race track everyday for a week. That's my sanctuary.

3. Go to a strip club.

4. Change phone number so that my wife cannot successfully get ahold of me. She knows me, and and knows what buttons to push to get me to reconsider. I'm a human being at the end of the day.


5. Divorce.




It would suck, but that's what i would do. that's along the lines of what you need to do

Thank you Backbreaker for your advice. You're right about that feeling of being torn. Btw, Do text messages of her infidelity a strong evidence for a divorce? In case a divorce process take place, what are the odds the law favors me and not her? Thanks guys, this post was in a way therapeutic for me right now.

A sincere thanks to you all.

 

[No.Danny]

Doesn't matter. How can you continue to sleep in the same bed as this *****.
Your princess is in another castle.
Eject!

 

[Inker]

Thank you so much. I need to vent this out to release the heavy burden i'm feeling. Honestly, i'm not okay right now. I haven't' talked to her and have copied the messages from her sim as i transferred it to my phone just in case. I'm in a separate room and i dunno where to start from here. The hardest part is the actual discovery of her infidelity that happened a while ago. I just hope i'll find peace after all these.

 

[Desdinova]

Sorry to hear that. Mine fvcked around on me as well. The best thing you can do is just end the marriage. You need to realize that she's no longer emotionally invested in you and the relationship is officially over.

Sit her down discuss who gets what, and get a separation agreement done up.

You really need to keep your head on as straight as you can right now to avoid getting screwed financially.

 

[Inker]

Sorry to hear that. Mine fvcked around on me as well. The best thing you can do is just end the marriage. You need to realize that she's no longer emotionally invested in you and the relationship is officially over.

Sit her down discuss who gets what, and get a separation agreement done up.

You really need to keep your head on as straight as you can right now to avoid getting screwed financially.

Thanks. I'll consult a lawyer for our legal separation.

I have a question. How did you cope with her cheating?
What have you been through as you discovered it?
What mindset should i have right now?

 

[Inker]

Inker,

Mate I feel for you. You are in severe grieving right now and have every right to be. It will not be long before you enter the anger stage.

The best thing you can do right now is prepare to channel that anger. Take a day just for you, to go out and relax and get your head on straight. With every crisis or problem comes a new opportunity.

You have been granted the opportunity to reflect on your life, your dreams, your goals, and how to go out and build a life worthy of you.

As another said, hit the gym, maybe learn swing dance or salsa, take a self-defense class, whatever it is, get yourself out there and interacting with people. Build yourself some goals and achieve them.


What have you always wanted to do? Build a motorcycle? Rebuild a car? Learn a new language? Whatever it is, plan for it and do it. It is the start of building a new life and in time you will be the new and improved Ink.

At the same time, study up here on the DJ Bible to learn how women work, why it was a mistake to have a woman who insists on "having male friends", how to attract women to the point that you can set boundaries without a moment hesitation to walk away if she doesn't accept them.

Learn to live life on your own terms, and your opportunity starts right now. Good luck.

Mate, Honestly, i feel a mix of grievance, hatred, denial and confusion right now.

A lot of things are running through my mind, the "things" that they possibly have already done...literally man, i'm in tears. My chest felt very heavy with the burden of it.

I've been faithful to her and that's what hurts too.

I'll listen to you guys' advices.


Hope you guys wish me that i'll have the strength to overcome this.

Sincere thanks, coming from my heart.

 

[Rival]

Man just know it's not your fault. Usually the best people are the ones that get cheated on. It's HER fault and hers alone. There's nothing you could have done different or better. At least you found out brother. It's ok to hurt and be upset, let it out and have closure with her.

I'll be praying for ya brother keep that head up

 

[backbreaker]

at that point i wouldn't give a damn if a judge told me that i woud have to give her my house, which is MY house. i would leave her. she could have it. it's just a house. My back bone / dignity / self esteem is more important to me than any material possession or judicial judgement made in her favor.

 

[guru1000]

Inker, welcome. You have come to the right place. We are an international brotherhood. And, as you can see by the great responses so far, we are here to stand by you at your darkest hour.

Let me begin with a rudimentary concept:

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you.

You are a great and valuable being, just the way you are. You see, everything that you have done in your life is a proximate result of your indoctrinated belief system, conditioned beginning at birth through your present age, originating from an effeminate, misplaced culture. Just look at the prevalent divorce rate to support my underlined assertion.

Understand, all your actions derive from your conditioning, and that is exactly what you acted upon. You see, we believe that we are the masters of our volition, but we fail to understand that our "free will" is in fact a "programmed will"—a social machination—and any thoughts or decisions that arise from these "voluntary choices" are, in fact, a derivative of our unconscious, conditioned prisons of thought.

Now that you are enfranchised and aware, it’s important to surrender these deleterious, unfavorable beliefs that you have assimilated over a lifetime, and unveil the umbrella surrounding these pretty little lies. Stick around the board and slowly incorporate and internalize the key tenets and concepts, which we espouse.

I would also like you to internalize a secondary concept:

You have reached the crossroad of one of the most pivotal moments in your life.

Understand, many of us cannot change out of our own volition. We need a catalyst to evoke change.

Notice the pain in your chest … do you know why this pain has manifested?

It is your cue, your catalyst to change.

Noncompliance to a conditioned thought process can only ensue, once a catalyst is evoked. To identify our conditioned thoughts, we need to be apprised accordingly through a catalyst which would enable us to question the merits of our cognitive domain and value system, thus exposing our programming. And here is where you are right now.

The catalyst is pain, and pain is a mandatory prerequisite to evolve physically, emotionally, intellectually, financially, and spiritually. It is here at your darkest hour, the moment that you feel you cannot breathe, that you can elicit the greatest change in your life--if you choose.

You Must Grieve

Right now, you are experiencing the grieving process. This is normal. If you’re angry, that’s fine, feel angry. If you want to hate, then hate. If you want to cry; that’s ok, then cry. If you have suicidal thoughts; that’s ok as well: I once did too, you see I’m a lot like you. Feel these emotions, experience them, and allow them to pass through you. This, my friend, is part of the healing process. And we will stand by you to see you through.

 

[Outlaw_]

Inker - 2 things immediately.

Do some searches for Emotional Freedom Techniques. You have to let that **** out bro. It's tough, but you are making a great step by coming here to talk about it. There are some married/divorced guys who can help you. But the EFT can help you deal with the pain of it all. Also, look into meditation.

Second, the guys who are telling you to move on & end the marriage are correct. If you take her back from here she will never respect you...AT ALL. My advice is to distance yourself from her. If you don't kick her out (which I would not suggest), the only time I would speak to her is about the business of her moving out, changing up accounts & talk to my lawyer.

Keep talking it out bro. I had a 4 1/2 year shack up that ended bad last May, so I know how bad it stings. Just keep letting it out.

Another thing is start working out. EVERYDAY. This is a great way to release that pent up energy.

And, get busy. This will take your mind off of the entire situation.

Last, look into meditation. It's a way to calm your mind. The only reason that you feel the emotions is because you have the thoughts. Meditation is a great way to calm your thoughts.

Take care bro!

 

[In2theGame]

Damn this just upsets me as i know that intense pain all too well. Wont say that you have to just "leave her" because as many of us that have been in that spot know that its not like a light switch to turn your feelings and pain off. From a straight logical point of view, you definitely need to get this woman out of your life now and You'll get through it but get ready for some hard emotional times. Dont make the mistake of trying to talk it out with her or plead for you two to stay together and forget the other guy because SHE WONT DO IT and you;; be wasting your time and pushing the dagger deeper in for more pain.

 

[backbreaker]

It's like a band aid. Just pull the motherfvcker off, really quick and get it over with. I don't understand dudes that draw **** out, want to analyize over this, should i say or should I go.

In other words, you are looking for a a solution hat doesn't hurt and there is not one. You have 2 options. One is going to hurt BAD for a shorter amount of, and one is not going to hurt AS bad, but is going to hurt longer, because you are drawing it out.


I think this is one of the things my wife knows in the back of her mind,s he knows how i think and she knows before I do it, this is what i would do. just cut it off and be done with it. i'm not one for prolonged drama One of the main reasons she's my wife and not a woman i'm just sleeping with is she's very much no muss no fuss / drama free. I don't do drama. I don't do drama. I don't do drama. I just do not have time for it. . You cheat, bye, thanks for playing, take your door prize, I'll figure the rest out.

 

[Inker]

I'll give a background on what happened prior to this

-I found out last week that the guy was now working in my wife's company.
He moves in to where she is. She never told me that.

- I've spied on the guys fb profile and saw one of his post about "how life sucks that those person that is deserving of love are the ones that are taken"

-My wife's phone was on silent mode lately, she always clears her call history, missed calls, received calls, dialled numbers.

I'm seeing it coming. Yet, they're very clever.


Hey brothers, If you were in my situation how would you react? If you experienced this before, what did you do upon discovering it? Did you act cool or what? Did you also confront the guy as well.
I can't lift my hands on my wife...even if she betrays me for another guy. But my knuckles is aching in giving the guy the beating of his life. It's a lose battle already, she'll still choose the guy no matter what, i want to get even....or you have any better ideas.