TEXT CONVO - BPD attempts to manipulate

[Yewki]

I dropped her today (again) amidst much tears from her.

... umm, after all that you gave her another chance? You're still communicating with her?

Why would you want to be with someone who is mentally ill? I don't understand... I'm at a loss for words. When you first made this thread I felt sorry for her. Now I feel sorry for you.

 

[sylvester the cat]

... umm, after all that you gave her another chance? You're still communicating with her?

Why would you want to be with someone who is mentally ill? I don't understand... I'm at a loss for words. When you first made this thread I felt sorry for her. Now I feel sorry for you.

Because she's mentally ill. Have you ever tried dropping someone who's mentally ill? The guilt trips. The bombardment of calls/texts. It was less hassle to let her keep thinking it was on. Last night as I'm trying to sleep I get a call at midnight from her asking if I'll ever cheat on her. No doubt guilt but I'd be only too glad for someone else to take her off my hands.

 

[guru1000]

Birds of a feather flock together ...

 

[sylvester the cat]

Birds of a feather flock together ...

Yes. As we've seen on that boundaries thread.

Now run along little b1tch.

 

[Yewki]

Because she's mentally ill. Have you ever tried dropping someone who's mentally ill? The guilt trips. The bombardment of calls/texts. It was less hassle to let her keep thinking it was on. Last night as I'm trying to sleep I get a call at midnight from her asking if I'll ever cheat on her. No doubt guilt but I'd be only too glad for someone else to take her off my hands.

Yes but not to this extreme. It sounded like you had actually given her another chance based on your recent updates... I can only hope that is not the case. The only reason to do so would be if you yourself are in fact mentally ill. Assuming you're not, you need to block her and move on. It's not your responsibility to take care of her if you no longer want to be with her. She has a family to look after her anyways.

If there was another a girl in your life I'm guessing this b*tch would have been blocked weeks ago. Go out and get some actual options man.

 

[GS750]

Even if another guy swoops in and she starts dating him, you'll probably still never get rid of her. The texts will keep coming because 1) BPD's are attention wh0res and they need constant validation. 2) They can't be alone. So they stay in touch with ex's just in case they end up single, they can branch swing back. Their bed never gets cold. They only way to truly be free from a cluster B is to block. Easier said than done, I know. Struggled with this myself. They are masters at manipulation and know exactly what to text to get you to reply.

 

[Yorkex]

I figured the best way to keep girls like this under control is to give sparing attention. Don't feel bad for ignoring or moving on. If you block and shut down completely , depending on how bad her BPD is ; you are only asking for more trouble and headaches.

Tell her you getting rid of your phone for a while , go ghost for a month to cleanse some of the feelings you have for her. When you return just play it cool and make everything BASED on your TIME. If she messages/calls you at night don't pick up , just ignore and shoot her a msg the next afternoon or evening " Hey sorry had a busy day & I was tired "
Make your self seem busy ALL the time & fight off the urge to hold down a conversation. For my BPD this is the best result for me , she has a new boyfriend yet blows my phone. Thus is after I made it clear I will never get back with her. Just keep her at bay , don't reveal anything personal to them just hold little convos that always makes you seem busy.

For the last month and half , I have been typing the same words to her. " Hey , hope all is well ..just been working a lot lately - I'm sure it's the same with you"
Then boom vanish , don't reply to the next msg for about 2 do days plus.

 

[sylvester the cat]

Yes but not to this extreme. It sounded like you had actually given her another chance based on your recent updates... I can only hope that is not the case. The only reason to do so would be if you yourself are in fact mentally ill. Assuming you're not, you need to block her and move on. It's not your responsibility to take care of her if you no longer want to be with her. She has a family to look after her anyways.

Tried that mate. Unfortunately she works for an agency my company deal with so there's no escape. And to be perfectly honest with you my life is far simpler and enjoyable without a girl in it.

 

[The Duke]

Sylvester- I'm no expert on the psychological disorders but I've read enough to say that text exchange you posted is a pretty solid example of exactly what someone with a disorder would say.

Stay strong and don't get caught up in any more of that nasty web.

 

[sylvester the cat]

I figured the best way to keep girls like this under control is to give sparing attention. Don't feel bad for ignoring or moving on. If you block and shut down completely , depending on how bad her BPD is ; you are only asking for more trouble and headaches.

Tell her you getting rid of your phone for a while , go ghost for a month to cleanse some of the feelings you have for her. When you return just play it cool and make everything BASED on your TIME. If she messages/calls you at night don't pick up , just ignore and shoot her a msg the next afternoon or evening " Hey sorry had a busy day & I was tired "
Make your self seem busy ALL the time & fight off the urge to hold down a conversation. For my BPD this is the best result for me , she has a new boyfriend yet blows my phone. Thus is after I made it clear I will never get back with her. Just keep her at bay , don't reveal anything personal to them just hold little convos that always makes you seem busy.

For the last month and half , I have been typing the same words to her. " Hey , hope all is well ..just been working a lot lately - I'm sure it's the same with you"
Then boom vanish , don't reply to the next msg for about 2 do days plus.

She just called. I told her the next time i see her will be me coming to her place (in the 5 months i've been seeing her she only comes to mine). My lord the abuse she gave me. So that's that. She said 'break up with me', call it off everything. typical victim mentality and guilt tripping kept telling me 'you willl not control me, don't try to control me. lol. but no. i said - You will see me only when i come to yours. This is my out. If I dump her i won't hear the end of it. This way she is the one who has to end it. Conversation was Tues circa 21:50...

This is what she was like:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6aMJ25hTOU

Tues:

22:37 - Her: I want u to apologise
22:46 - Me: What would you like me to apologise for?
22:49 - Her: If u don't know then u will never know
22:53 - Me: Ok. As i will never know what to apologise for then I cannot apologise.
22:54 - Her: apologise for giving me stress about not coming round here (to hers).
22:59 - Me: i just said i wanted to visit u at urs instead of mine. wasn't intended to give u stress. didn't realise visiting u was such a big deal. apologies if it is a big deal.
23:00 - Her: thank you
23:02 - Me: No probs. Night.
She calls but I am taking a p1ss.
23:04 - Her: answer please.
23:04 - Me: ok.
She calls. I answer.
conversation basically revolves around her saying if i can't respect her being uncomfortable with me being around her ex's house then it's over. i say that's her decision and likewise if she can't understand that i'm uncomfortable with her being round mine knowing shes uncomfortable with me being round hers. she laughs and we agree to end it.

TO BE CONTINUED.

23:36 - she calls. she says 'i love you'.

 

[GS750]

oh man this brings back memories. every time I tried to walk away, make it clear that we were done and I felt it was best if we had no more contact, she'd say 'okay' then she'd find a way back. It's insane. It's like a never ending loop where she doesn't want you, but doesn't want to lose you either. She'll start fights and rationalize her sh1t behavior, the when you pull away she tries to lure you back. It's so draining. Maybe you should go NC for a bit.

 

[Yorkex]

Take it from me , EJECT now before it's too late.
Had similar issues with my ex and I tried to rationalize it , the end result was more devastating. The sex and everything is good but think about your future , eventually she will suck the life out of you. And what's worst is YOU might end up picking some of her traits.

 

[sylvester the cat]

Take it from me , EJECT now before it's too late.
Had similar issues with my ex and I tried to rationalize it , the end result was more devastating. The sex and everything is good but think about your future , eventually she will suck the life out of you. And what's worst is YOU might end up picking some of her traits.

The last conversation she admitted that she didn't want me round hers was because her ex said if he ever caught her with another man around there he would throw her out. Turns out she doesn't own the house at all (which is what she had me believe) and that he owns the house and she is basically paying him rent to live there. She said she loved me and wanted to come and see me tomorrow. When I agreed (as is always best with BPD's) she then said in the same breath that she could not come round tomorrow. I laughed and said I had to go to bed as I was up early in the morning. I then switched my phone off.

I think I'll just claim I dropped my phone in the toilet or something and go NC for a month.. That should do it. Although I can GUARANTEE she will claim she is pregnant. She did this a few weeks ago. She always does this.

 

[sylvester the cat]

her opinion of you:

1.innocent
2.naive
3.child-like
4.weak
5.victim

My opinion of her is:

Manipulative. That is also my opinion of you. Difference being I am man enough to say that to your face whereas you project your opinion via her.

Pu$$y.

 

[sylvester the cat]

Remind me to not cast my pearls before swine lol. This is how my BPD ex viewed me and she told me as much...:kick:

This is something she would say. Unfortunately for you intelligent men know that had this been your true intention (to cast pearls of wisdom) you would have said why you did so in the first instance.

Those were not pearls you cast but stones. Let him who is without sin cast the first stone. You by your own admission do not qualify.

 

[Atom Smasher]

That's the question isn't it? Why would someone love a female (or anyone/family member/'friend' etc) who did that?

Why?

Because you didn't love her... you loved an imagined, idealized version of her. She had some incredibly great qualities, and you weighted those highly in your perception and minimized the negatives for as long as you could. Your masculine core responds to those desirable traits she has and considers the attraction "love.

This is the way of the BPD relationship. They have some enormously attractive qualities (they scratch us PRECISELY where we itch) so we think we may well be mistaken about the bizarre negatives and we think they will somehow work out.

She plugged into your biochemistry like a catalyst and that's why you've been willing to stay on the emotional roller coaster. The current running between you is incredibly strong.

I always call the pull of the BPD a Vortex. Right now you're still under the influence of her vortex, which is spinning wildly in its attempt to suck you back in again and again.

Only a huge event will cause you to fully escape the vortex. It's usually preceded by the man thinking about involving the police.

Again and again and again we go back and have that "one last" conversation, only to find that she is even crazier than imagined before.

This is precisely why we need to be on our guard and NEVER play around with a BPD. Extraction is nigh unto impossible. The way they suck the life-force out of a man is close to supernatural.

 

[VikingKing]

Walk away man. Stop wasting your time. How much more of your life are you going to give to her?

 

[Yorkex]

Atom well put. I remember the line don't mock a pain you have not endured. Some people need to learn through pain , if he is still willing to "save" her , by all means go for it. Months or years from now you will be up at night reading this thread and asking what if.

No matter what you do , these women can't be saved. You can however play around with them and sex them but even that is a fine line to walk.

 

[insanity is humanity]

This is educational continue....

Then drop it

 

[sylvester the cat]

The perfect BPD victim, ladies and gentlemen. No insight into the situation because somehow managed to become ego-invested in a lunatic that wants to destroy him.

More stones. Read Atom's input or GS570 or Yewki or Yorkex or anyone else's post for what pearls look like.