Ten things you wish you had figured out before turning 30 (or 25, or 40, or 50!)

[BlueSteel]

Being 18 and 19 in a few months I still have much to learn but here is what I have learned so far...

1) Actions speak louder then words (I know it but hard to follow sometimes)

2) Give without the intentions to receive

3) A little appreciation goes a long way

4) The biggest thing I have learned is that I am not the man I would like to be and that is why I still have so much to learn from everyone I meet. It could be a teacher or small talk at coffee shop there is something to learn from everyone and everything.

 

[Zodiac]

10. Your friends say they are looking out for you but more than likely EVENTUALLY they will betray you. I learned this the hard way: I had a friend of mine that up until recently I thought was a true friend but as I learned out he was using me as a comparison piece to insult, make fun of and ultimately cvck block me in any way possible behind my back to the girls I liked, so he could have sex. I had known him for 12 years (7 at the time, he was 8) and he had been doing this behind my back since we were both in high school. Even if he is a good friend there is the distinct possibility he will try to ruin your life to advance his.


9. If it can go wrong plan for it to. Self explanatory: Plan a few outcomes to how something may happen so when it eventually does occur that way if the inevitable outcome is bad, it wont hurt as much.


8. Girls that are your friends, aren't I also learned this the hard way: Had a female friend of mine that I cared for deeply (Oneitis) hinder me in many different ways all through my dating life.

For instance: She was always dating some guy and would use me as the emotional tampon, telling me everything bad he did, etc... and I would listen and give advice that she barely used. Eventually as things happen, I got a girlfriend that she did nothing but rag on my gfs until I was alone again and she would comfort me, tell me bullsh!t just to get me back under her thumb.

Moral of the story: Any girl may want to have a situation where she is the center of your life even if she doesn't give you back what you give her and expect you to sit there and listen to her every word. The second you aren't, she will do everything in her power to ruin you until you are under her thumb again.


7.Don't put anyone above you. Look to the example in item 8. That is what happens when you think the world of someone and they don't think the same in return. All it does is eat away at you.


6. Learn to listen. When you are dating people you should listen to what they have to say. I made the mistake of not listen to details of an ex girlfriend and had to hear her whine, complain, and throw it in my face when she would need to list things to show I was a horrible bf. If you don't listen to what she has to say, she will hold it against you.


5. Take chances. If you don't take chances then how will you learn? I had almost no confidence in high school and due to it I suffered from not dating girls I could have. At my graduation, I had girls talk to me that I liked during my high school years and come to find out, they liked me back during the same time I liked them but thought I didn't like them. The worst thing that could happen is you are rejected.


4. Practice makes perfect. The more you practice something, the more confident you are of it. If you hate talking to girls then practice with people you are comfortable with and slowly start talking to more and more people you feel nervous with. As per item 6, if you don't take the chance, there will be no reward except loneliness.


3. If you are rejected once, move on. If a girl say she doesn't like you that way then accept it at face value and move onwards with your life. If you don't then you most likely will put them on a pedestal and that will only lead to heartbreak.


2. Learn to take care of yourself. If you cant cook, learn to. Cant dance? Then take a class. In order to attract girls you should become the complete package and by going to classes to learn a skill or two you more than likely will encounter girls that may see you as a hard working individual and be attracted to that.


1. If a girl doesn't respect you, LEAVE her. The last but most important rule I follow is to never lower yourself to accept abuse from anyone, let alone someone that if the roles were reversed would leave you. If you have no respect for yourself then why should anyone else?

 

[JonSirG]

Zodiac pay attention to draw conclusions because of one case
on girls cheats .. doesnt mean ALL girl cheats

what I learned
1. EVERYBODY IS DIFFERENT
2. If you want to much it makes you unhappy, waking up and already thinking "thank you" makes the day much more peacfull and fun for me
3. ACTION is ALL
i read so much and didn use it
just when I started with action( in different areas) I noticed results
Action makes you and me feel terrific!
4. Girls can ruin your life, Focus on your dreams, control your eagerness like pook said, I almost lost college because of girls ..not again I will spent that much time on some random girls nomatter how hot they are

 

[Zodiac]

Zodiac pay attention to draw conclusions because of one case on girls cheats .. doesnt mean ALL girl cheats

But if you consider it a possibility that all girls may or may not cheat then it will not be surprising if she does and you can move on and not wallow. It think you missed the rational behind my post: Just don't give a fcuk what she does but enjoy yourself and if she brings you joy then good for you.

 

[Colossus]

I just read my original list after a few years, and I still agree with all of it. I guess that's good

 

[AAAgent]

100 years from now, you, everybody you know, everything you did or thought about or thougth about doing, or were to nervous to do to think about, or that you might imagine someday that you thought about doing will be dead and forgotten.

Have as much fun as possible, the only law you need to be concerned about is the law of cause and effect.

And all of your fears (unless you are jumping out of an airplane without a parashute with a rattlesnake hanging on your **** while you are on fire) are BULLSHYTE.

Once you realize that you can easily release your fears and decide to live by your own rules and that the most important thing is to enjoy life, you will come to understand the obvious truth that is far more liberating and freeing than any rule anybody will try to pathetically convince you to live by.

Now.

This is by far my favorite. I always had problems with my AA. not saying i don't approach, i do but i always make a fool out of myself. It doesn't discourage me since these failed attempts make great memories instantly haha.

my list.

1.) nothing is free. If you want something you have to get it yourself. earn it, train for it, work hard at it, etc.

2.) If you haven't reached your goal yet it means you haven't tried hard enough.

3.) don't fight and always seek other options to abstain from violence but if anyone ever tries to take advantage of you, bully you, or hurt you let them know it comes at a price. If you can't win, give them a black eye. The fights not over until the other guy stops because if you don't stop him this time, he will come back again and again to bully and take advantage of you. You as an immigrant will get picked on so remember this.

--as a result of the 3rd tip, i was never bullied as a chinese kid. I was actually the kid who go in the most trouble and suspensions because of fighting. luckily i straightened out.

4.) study hard or you will pump gas for the rest of your life.

----------
the above 4 have all come from my pops which has had a great influence on my life.

5.) actions speak louder than words.

6.) if someone ask for help, help them. Do not do it for them. This goes with everything. Always meet people halfway, never go the 100% unless they're disabled or a infant. Same goes for women. Hand them your jacket but don't put it on for them.

7.) stand up and fight for what you believe and love. If you cower away even once, you will always be remembered for that. This is tough because it means every single time you need to stand up again for what you believe in. stood up to my senior at work for disrespecting me. She has never did it again. a group of sophmores were waiting at this spot to jump my freshman brother (i was a junior). I confronted about a group of 20 of them with my best friend. ended up fighting the *leader*. never fvcked with my brother again.

8.) own up to your mistakes. its easier to fix/change them if you can accept them. It also makes you more humble which leads to the next one.

9.) be humble. Nobody likes a bragger. Less is more, just like a picture is worth a thousand words. If people want to know more about you, they will inquire.

10.) Stay healthy, fit, strong, and learn some type of self defense. Whether it be street fighting, boxing, mma, karate, etc. You as a man should be able to protect what you hold dear. If you can't even protect the things you cherish everything else in life will crumble.

 

[Lateralus]

Great post! Thx!

 

[synergy1]

1- know who you are doing business with. This is equally applicable to marriage as it is to running an actual business.

2- You can't change someone who doesn't want to be changed. Stop trying to help them. Lead by positive example if you want to incite change, but don't count on anything happening.

3- Anyone will act in their own self interest at your expense should the right opportunity arise. Accept it.

4- The people who claim they are happier than everyone else...aren't. Everyone wears a mask.

5- Everyone lies or overstates the facts.

6- People overestimate their own abilities and underestimate everyone elses.

7- No one can predict the future, nor can we even anticipate it well...but we sure seem to think we can.

8- Having people hate on you is a good thing, it means you are doing something right.

9- The human which is more "scared" is probably the most dangerous, and destructive.

10- Its not what you know, its who you know.

A lot of these are probably spin offs from 48 laws of power, or even other posts on this thread. However, I feel these are life lessons I picked up along the way, and I could state specific examples from my experiences to back them up. Yes, this list seems slightly pessimistic, but I don't feel upset at how people act...its just nature. It would be just as stupid for getting bent out of shape when a lion takes down a zebra.

 

[DonGello]

I've learned three things in my life worth sharing.

Spend time with your parents, you will wake up one day where they do not.

Do not waste your life by being depressed. You'll realize that you wasted your childhood/early manhood thaat you had ONE chance to live.

Wisdom comes from experience, not from age. More specifically, it comes from realizing what went wrong during those experiences.

 

[snowdog]

This is a great thread.

Here is my contribution:

• Be honest to yourself and be able to look yourself in the eyes when you're standing in front of the mirror. I think the biggest lies are usually told by ourselves, to ourselves.
• Booze and drugs are not the best ways of dealing with your problems.
• If you don't wake up with a smile at least 90% of the time, it's time to do something about it.
• It gets worse before it gets better. Take it on the chin if you know the outcome will be worth it.
• The only way to fail is to quit.
• Sometimes you win and sometimes you learn.
• Television and videogames are fun, but they shouldn't take up too much of your time, because you should have better things to do.
• You don't need many friends if they're good ones.
• Life is short and time is valuable so make it fun and enjoy yourself
• Find out who you really are and you'll find peace and happiness.
• Overused Fight Club quote: You're not your job, clothes, car or money etc.

 

[oscarxp25]

Regarding female friends, understand that any perceived "deep" friendship you have with her will dissipate when she gets a boyfriend, no matter what she says.


I am in this situation now. I was friends with a girl for ten years and when I got a girl, she would get mad when we would not hang out. Now, she is engaged and I haven't seen her in months. This one really hit me hard...LISTEN TO THIS ONE!

 

[ParkerMego]

get cheap aciclovir no prescription

hi how are you manss

 

[metoo]

It just aint that hard to make a ton of money, guys. Yes, in the beginning it sucks, you have to work 80 hour weeks for a very few years, but then all you need to do is pay attention to the business that you have created. OTR trucking over the road, that is, is a great biz that's open to all. In the same number of years it takes to get a college degree (and pay off the loans you needed to get thru college) you can be set for life, with 6 or more trucks owned free and clear, each one cleariing you 30k a year or a bit more. As you make that money from them, find other things to invest in, so that you are not buried if something happens to the trucking industry, like $8 a gallon diesel fuel prices, as they pay in Europe.

yes, karate, etc, is vital, but so is carrying a gun. When 3-4 guys have 1/2 bricks in each hand, and throw them at you from 6 ft away, it won't matter if you are Bruce Lee, you are going to get maimed for life, most likely. Get the gun out and aimed at them before they get inside 10 ft, and see if they still want some! I've held men at gunpoint 4x in my life, and every damned time, they froze and then fled. It works great, but I WAS ready to shoot them into the ground if they made me do so, too.

 

[backbreaker]

I posted in this thread 4years ago almost, here are 10 items today I wish I would have known when I was 21 years old


1. patience is the most imoprtant viruute you can have. All things will come to you if you are willing to work and be patient for them.

2. There is no virtue in falling on the sword. Always do what's in your best interest.

3. The more you really like a woman, the more you have to test her to make sure she's the one.

4. Trust your gut. Your gut is a lot smarter than you think it is. Your first indication is usually right. About someone or something.

5. Don't be afraid to be unique.

6. It's okay to bend a little but every man should have a core set of principles that he is unwilling under any circumstances, to compromise. ''

7. Do not listen to women... about practically anything.

8. If you don't have a plan.. for today, for the year, for your life, you are going to be following someone elses plan, and guess what that person has planned for you.. not a damn thing. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Map out a plan, on what you wish to accomplish and work back from that. Everything you do, the days you take off work, to the time you spend around women, to the amount of money you spend will be tied in to this plan

9. Learn to have balance and to relax. You should not live for play time, but you need to learn how to play and play with no guilty conscious.

10. No woman is worth altering your life, your plans, your hobbies. A woman has to fit with what you want to do. If she doesn't she can go.

 

[janealb]

1. Get a well paid job for a while so you can afford a long year holiday later on!
2. Buy a house though you plan on travelling and discovering the world (it's always nice to have a cosy home to come back to).
3. Don't ever neglect your old friends, you never know about the new ones.

 

[Black.Magic]

Things I wish I knew when I was 15:

1. University is the next big goal. Study so hard that your hand drops off. Then you will have the pick of any degree at any college.

2. Keep playing a musical instrument. It will bring you happiness and you will forget how to read sheet music if you don't practice

3. Do not chase after the prettiest girl. You will have to compete with the best men to even get the time of day. Go for te third prettiest dame in the room, or in this case on te school bus.

4. Your good friend will spread horrible rumors for years behind your back. Stab him three times in each eyeball to prevent this.

5. Go NC on friends who immediately value their shiny new girlfriend more than your friendship.

6. Do. Not. Get. A car loan.

7. Drugs are f$cking terrible and can change your personality and life for the worst.

8. Always love and cherish your parents, no matter what

9. Make friends with alphas, not nerds. Nerds' parties never have any girls at them

10. Remember that you are a great kid. A lot of chides will come along, get in your face and try to convince you otherwise, but you are number 1

 

[RokyRoc]

1. Failure is temporary. Giving up is forever.

2. Everyone has a breaking limit. Know your own and watch it carefully.

3. DJ is a state of mind and it can disappear if you do not actively maintain it.

4. Life is a series of achievements and next steps. Live in the moment but plan for the future.

5. Always have a plan B.

 

[The Experience]

1. Let women present themselves to you, when the opportunity comes around to seize it your gut will let you know. Listen to it.

2. Acquire quality knowledge from quality people. Do some research, find them as they will not find you.

3. Become efficient in areas for your future such as financing, communicating and physical and mental health.

4. Experience is the greatest teacher.

5. Be conscious of your thoughts, are they enabling or disabling.

 

[Colossus]

It's always good to revisit this thread from time to time.

A few more to add, now that I'm actually 30:

-Consistent, positive ACTION is the only reliable way to achieve the results you want. It's almost always a game of inches, of days, of pages and pounds. Success and results are really a cumulative thing.

-Just because you CAN afford it, doesn't mean you should.

-Dont move in with a woman UNLESS:
1. You love her
2. You have a demonstrated period of stability with her. At least 1 year together and minimal fighting
3. You are in a stable place financially and career-wise
4. You both have defined expectations laid out beforehand
5. You have a way out that wont destroy either of you financially

-If you have a bad feeling about sleeping with a girl, dont do it. Your boner isnt smart.

-Be careful of what you say and do at work and school. Someone is ALWAYS watching.

 

[PlayerUntilDeath]

1. Grades really do not matter. Grades on a resume do not help to get better jobs. Don't spend too much time in High School or College just studying for grades, instead get more real world work experiences. Around a B average is still good to be able to avoid the schools radar, but don't waste too much time just to get higher meaningless grades.
2. Don't get financially tied up with anyone, especially relatives or b*nks, at least over an amount that could be paid back quickly, or it could turn into years of trouble. Be careful with the stock market, there is a lot of corruption and the odds always favor the house.
3. Have your own goals and do actions towards them. Do what you really want to do, not to please others or not doing what others say they believe you should do especially when it's things you do not want to do.
4. Have s*x before you get too much older (there are some people out there who waited to have s*x until their 30s or 40s and they really regret that they didn't have s*x when they were younger).
5. Do jobs (even for free or a lower salary), just to get in the door of some places to learn there and to get a variety of work experiences in High School and if go to College to get more skills and to network.
6. Don't get caught up in being a religious fanatic. Believing in G*d is fine. But don't listen to those who say s*x is for marriage only.
7. Don't buy a very expensive house or car. Save up money for experiences such as, travel, and doing fun activities.
8. Learn some of other languages of at least 2 or 3 other countries that you want to travel to eventually. It will help when meeting women in other countries and when doing things in those countries. If you are in school sign up next semester for a language class. Then, travel to those countries.
9. Exercise at least 5 days a week consistently (don't stop exercising for extended amounts of time) up to the day this life is over. There is so many reasons why, so just schedule in an hour every day and exercise.
10. Unless it's part of your job, don't spend too much time daily on the internet. Wisely choose the sites you go to. Decide on a unit of time, such as not more than 60 minutes a day (keep track if you know you're going over this amount of time).