Ten things you wish you had figured out before turning 30 (or 25, or 40, or 50!)

[stonedface]

11. Don't mistake the immediate sharing of her deepest secrets and pains by a girl you're just getting to know for honest trust and intimacy.
Healthy people know this as (unconscious) manipulation by an emotionally unstable person. My excuse is that I was somewhat emotionally unstable myself at the time. Had I not been, I would not have fallen for this trap.

Mind if you elaborate on this with example? I'll be interested to hear. Thanks.

 

[Alexander the Great]

Mind if you elaborate on this with example? I'll be interested to hear. Thanks.

No, I don't mind. I'll send you a PM when I have some time to type it up.

 

[azanon]

1. Don't squander youth in any way that it can be squandered. Particularly, 18-30 is the time to focus on women. 18-30 is also the time you're at your athletic physical peak, so take up a sport (like tennis) and give it your best.

2. Accept the truth: You'd be surprised what you can get if you just ask for it.

3. Research "compound growth" (of money) and make it start working for you the day you take your first job. Buy no less than 3 books on investing and read them.

4. Only borrow money for a house. Pay cash/save up for cash for everything else. One either pays the price of what you buy + interest, or - the interest you earned while saving for it. You get more stuff earning interest than paying it.

5. "Out-educating" most people is ironically the easiest path to an eventual good salary. The harder path is learning a trade and trying to exploit a need in society to make a killing.

6. "Character" is the most valuable trait in a woman if you're looking for a LTR. If you have a HB7, but a woman with outstanding character that not only just loves you but is devoted to you, you have yourself a potential wife.

7. By design, religion is an impediment to the thinking, rationalizing, free-choosing mind. At least try it both ways before accepting a dogma that does most of the thinking for you.

8. Freedom and Time is priceless; more valuable than all the gold in the world. This is the main reason saving, and becoming independent from everyone and everything should be priority #1.

9. If you're a man and you're still breathing air, spend a healthy chunk of your time chasing tail. Biologically, its your duty and purpose.

10. Anyone that says money can't buy happiness never had any, didn't spend it in the right places, or on the right things. Enough of it can certainly buy you item #8 on my list, and #9 as well.

 

[slickaz]

- Get to know God and your faith in him
- Get into business, look at ideas to start your own.
- Buy real estate
- Then buy nice clothes and nice car, because the confidence you get from wearing the best clothes, living in your own home and driving a marquee and knowing its all your money.....priceless!
- Do you first...dont do nobody else before you do you.
- Women NEVER know what they want...what they want changes based on media, marketing and glossy magazines.
- Men are the leaders of the world, we have GIVEN rights and freedom to women, so never let a woman RUN your life.
- NEVER trust everybody, keep one friend that has proven through action that they deserve your trust to you in the past.
- Never compliment unecessarily, people dont need to have bigger heads than they already do
- The world is not all spik and span, its dirty and sometimes you gotta get your hands dirty to get what you want.
- Just Do It!
- Let your game speak

 

[Colossus]

10. Anyone that says money can't buy happiness never had any, didn't spend it in the right places, or on the right things. Enough of it can certainly buy you item #8 on my list, and #9 as well.

Money can't buy happiness, but it CAN buy freedom and security; which translate into happiness. So indirectly, it does. The older I get the more I realize you cannot live the life you want without money. Money governs almost everything you want to do.

Which puts priority on education and investing. Get the right degree(s), from the right schools, and maintain a 3.5 gpa or better. You will be set.

Great list, btw.

 

[djtdot]

I am 21 and I know my post will be deleted. But thank you guys!! Some of the points are really helpful.


"2. Take college seriously or dont go!! The far-reaching implications of GPA cannot be overstated. A little sacrifice early on will pay dividends in a few years. You cant undo a sh!tty transcript!!"

Sooooo true. Heck I wish I read the OP's post before I went to university . Oh well I still have one more year left so I will try to do my best.

 

[mrRuckus]

Particularly, 18-30 is the time to focus on women.

Huh? Why?

 

[azanon]

Huh? Why?

I guess because I know what's its like to have a wife, and cute as hell, 5 year child (in my 30s) that comes a runnin' for me with a beaming smile yelling "daddy!" the moment I walk in the door, soon followed by a kiss on the cheek by my wife.

Personally, I'd recommend trying to find an awesome LTR by the time you're 30 (but by all means, do all of this DJ style). I hear SS scream the virtues of the single life, but I've gotta tell ya - boy am I happy with my wife and son, and as you've heard virtually every parent say - I wouldn't take a million dollars for him. That's either just talk or its true.

18-30 is tons of time to play the field, and certainly is longer than I did. So, I see myself as advocating a very long dating period of your life.

I'm a strong believer in blaming yourself for things that go wrong in your life, including divorce. When a man tells me he divorced, I instantly presume he married the wrong woman and probably didn't scrutinize her character enough. Or I wonder what did (or didn't do) that contributed to it getting to that point. We have SO much power and control over our lives and everything around it, we can almost move the world ourselves.

My brother just recently got divorced. I can make a huge, exhaustive list of things he did (or didn't do) that contributed to it, including the fact that she wasn't worth marrying and he did it under the wrong circumstance. From my point of view, he only has himself to blame, regardless of her faults (which are also many).

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

1.) There is no ONE, the soulmate myth is a lie.

2.) Rejection is better than regret: You learn more from failure than success

3.) Constructive discontent is good; contentment is temporal and often hinders growth

4.) Experience teaches harsh, but it teaches best

5.) Women should only ever be a compliment to a Man's life, never the focus of it

6.) Your most valuable resource is the capacity to maneuver, and explore, opportunities

7.) Acknowledging options, consciously or not, is the root of Confidence

8.) Personality changes, it is never static: You can control these changes

9.) Concern with the physical is NOT 'shallow', it is as important as everything else

10.) Masculinity is fundamentally POSITIVE and vitally necessary; embrace it.


48 Other things I wish I'd figured out before 30

 

[mintxx]

this is an awesome thread. i will edit this with my ten when i think of them all. i wonder if editing counts as posting for the time limit? in the meantime:

- Then buy nice clothes and nice car, because the confidence you get from wearing the best clothes, living in your own home and driving a marquee and knowing its all your money.....priceless!

marquee: a large outdoor structure providing shelter for parties etc
marque: a 'make' (french for brand - 'make' is bastardized french)

perhaps you meant 'driving a luxury marque'.

 

[Ol'BlueEyes]

marquee: a large outdoor structure providing shelter for parties etc
marque: a 'make' (french for brand - 'make' is bastardized french)
perhaps you meant 'driving a luxury marque'.

Or a car. Mercury Grand Marquis.

Great thread. :yes:

 

[DevanE]

...

WOW, incredible thread!!!!

I thought I'd post something as well that I recently figured out.

People who claim that they want the best for you DON'T really want the best for you. All they really want you to do is stay exactly the same so you stay within the confines of their comfort zone and the category they have you placed in. They may even thwart your attempt when you begin to self-improve/change. This also goes for your parents and especially your friends.

:box:

 

[squirrels]

7. By design, religion is an impediment to the thinking, rationalizing, free-choosing mind. At least try it both ways before accepting a dogma that does most of the thinking for you.

7 1/2. Be careful you don't let the thinking, rationalizing mind become a religion in itself.

 

[SharpGame]

1. Don't center your life around what you think women want you to do, or your parents, or friends, or boss, or religion, or government, or your selfish inner child. None of that crap matters. Instead, center your life around principles such as integrity, fairness, justice, etc. Everyone who has a conscience knows these principles. Make goals for yourself and pursue those goals with these principles in mind and forget the rest.

2. Women don't choose jerks over nice guys. They choose strong guys over weak guys. Jerks often get the girls because they APPEAR strong. You can get women by being strong and confident without turning into an a$$hole.

3. Detach yourself emotionally from the outcome of what you pursue. Celebrating or sulking with every turn of events will distract you from reaching your goal.

4. Become an expert at building relationships with people and keep those relationships going.

5. Don't be afraid to fail. No great thing has ever been achieved without first enduring great failures.

6. Be sure you are completely independent before getting in a relationship or else you'll end up being co-dependent.

7. Before getting serious, ask yourself this (even if you don't want kids): "Is this the kind of woman I would want raising my children?" If the honest answer is 'No', drop her.

8. Chasing women is unnecessary. Become the best man you can be and they will chase you.

9. Find things you're passionate about. Try new things constantly.

10. Eat healthy and workout

 

[Colossus]

7. Before getting serious, ask yourself this (even if you don't want kids): "Is this the kind of woman I would want raising my children?" If the honest answer is 'No', drop her.

Good advice. My father used to tell me something like this, and I can see now why.

 

[Mike32ct]

1. Trust no one. Even your best friend has the potential to stab you in the back given the right circumstances. This is because they know your weaknesses and vulnerabilities better than your enemies do. Plus, a fight, an argument, or even pure jealousy could lead them to exploit these weaknesses.

2. My high school physics teacher said, "If you have one or two TRUE friends during your lifetime, consider yourself lucky." I agree completely.

3. Focus on women that are receptive to you and treat you well. Don't waste your time and money on the others. (This doesn't mean go after women you aren't attacted to. I mean that, of those you are attracted to, strongly consider their personalities and how they treat you.)

4. Avoid credit card debt like the plague. If you can't pay it off when the bill comes in, don't buy it.

5. Eat healthy, work out, and take care of yourself. I don't care what the community says, I firmly believe women care MORE about looks than men.

6. We are an over-marketed society. Everyone is trying to sell you something. For example, contrary to popular belief, television is not intended for entertainment, it is for advertising. Even store coupons aren't meant to save you money; they are meant to get you to buy something that you may not have otherwise bought.

7. Career-wise, do what you love to do and what you are good at.

8. For those of you that believe in God, I recommend having God in your life. Life is too tough to go it alone.

9. Nothing (worthwhile) is easy.

10. You must believe in yourself. It is necessary for success at anything.

 

[st_99]

1. Don't center your life around what you think women want you to do, or your parents, or friends, or boss, or religion, or government, or your selfish inner child. None of that crap matters. Instead, center your life around principles such as integrity, fairness, justice, etc. Everyone who has a conscience knows these principles. Make goals for yourself and pursue those goals with these principles in mind and forget the rest.

2. Women don't choose jerks over nice guys. They choose strong guys over weak guys. Jerks often get the girls because they APPEAR strong. You can get women by being strong and confident without turning into an a$$hole.

3. Detach yourself emotionally from the outcome of what you pursue. Celebrating or sulking with every turn of events will distract you from reaching your goal.

4. Become an expert at building relationships with people and keep those relationships going.

5. Don't be afraid to fail. No great thing has ever been achieved without first enduring great failures.

6. Be sure you are completely independent before getting in a relationship or else you'll end up being co-dependent.

7. Before getting serious, ask yourself this (even if you don't want kids): "Is this the kind of woman I would want raising my children?" If the honest answer is 'No', drop her.

8. Chasing women is unnecessary. Become the best man you can be and they will chase you.

9. Find things you're passionate about. Try new things constantly.

10. Eat healthy and workout

My favorite list so far.

 

[Tazman]

Women aren't flaky, fickle or confused about their feelings, they are just as focused and calculating as men, probably even more when it comes to male/female relations. This aspect is probably why I keep revisiting this site, I love reading stories and coming up with my own theories as to why they behave the way they do, which I compare to real life situatiuons. I guess I feel a sense of power knowing what I know and seeing the results unfold before my eyes.

Only problem is that I'm only human and I too get caught up in the moment at times.

 

[MillerMan]

Ten things you wish you had figured out before turning 30 (or 25, or 40, or 50!)

1. How to tell a good story. Nothing draws a person into a conversation better than a good storyteller. All the charisma, good personality, get-a-spine stuff is nearly meaningless if you can't catch and hold another persons attention. This is true with business, women, and life in general. This one is probably the most important skill you can have in life. Lying doesn't count.

2. Higher education is about training the brain. It teaches you how to concentrate on something, how to research, how to think, how to commit things to memory, how to present an argument. It teaches you how to sacrifice for something. Math major or english lit major its all the same. Its hard because its supposed to be.

3. Physical fitness in your teens and 20s makes the rest of your life easier. Its sooooo much easier to eat healthy and stay fit/get ripped in your early 20s than it is in your 30s. Build your muscle early in life and it will stay with you longer. Just dont build it too fast - slowly built muscle will stay with you longer. (my theory anyway)

4. Do not let good friends and family slowly fall out of your life. Note I said GOOD friends and family.

5. Your familys history defines you to some degree. Know it. What was your Dad like when he was your age? Your Uncles? Are they as succesful as you want to be? Are they where you want to be in 30 years? If not, do not repeat thier mistakes.

6. Travel and see the world while you can. That doesnt mean join the military. Take some money and travel. Spend a month in Spain living out of a backpack. Go to Alaska and do some logging or something for a few months. Go work on a fishing charter in Florida for a while. Interesting things that you can look back on in your 30s and be proud of. When you have a wife and 2.5 kids its kinda hard to shoot off to Austraila for the summer. Do these things alone.

7. Network, network, network For business contacts, for friends, for lovers. For guys you can lookup in a strange city and go have a beer with when youre traveling on business. Make new friends everywhere you go.

8. Know yourself. Know your own motivations, weaknesses, strengths, and faults. Why do you do the things you do? What drives you? Why do you think like you do? Look back at yourself and look hard. Do not be gentle with yourself, nobody else will. Only when you get to the root of your problems can you change them. Once you begin to do this you will probably recognize patterns in your life and your friends lives.

9. People with no faults make those who have them uneasy. This one sounds weird but trust me. Know how to drink, but dont become an alcoholic. Know how to gamble but don't become addicted. Know how to bullshti but dont become a liar. Know how to lose but dont become a loser.

10. Your likes, dislikes, views, and values will change as you grow older. The people you meet, the things you go through, the places you travel to, the jobs you take, and a hundred different other things will all shape your mind. Your world view in your 30s will be VASTLY different than what it is in your 20s. Know that you will change. You have no choice but to accept it.

Good Luck.

 

[Desdinova]

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