Ten things you wish you had figured out before turning 30 (or 25, or 40, or 50!)

[Colossus]

I think this will be a good ongoing thread. Everyone can take something out of it, and who doesnt love lists?

I'm not 30, obviously, but here's my own little list of lessons I would tell to a younger DJ, or an upstart.

1. Dont burn bridges. Especially with employers.

2. Take college seriously or dont go!! The far-reaching implications of GPA cannot be overstated. A little sacrifice early on will pay dividends in a few years. You cant undo a sh!tty transcript!!

3. Dont borrow carelessly, Avoid credit cards, and LEARN TO LIVE ON A BUDGET!! Budgets create freedom, not prisons.

4. The next time you see a beautiful woman sitting by herself, remember that someone, somewhere, is sick of her sh!t.

5. Be careful who you screw. No, really. If you think it's a bad idea, it probably is. And condoms arent the miracle prophylactic. You never truly know the meaning of regret until you a) owe a sh!tload of money, or b) have an std.

6. Dont marry until you are over 30. You need to expose yourself to many different types of women. What you think you like isnt accurate until it's been proven through experience.

7. Learn the value and skill of networking. Make contacts and keep in touch, even if they may not benefit you anything. People can smell a mooch.

8. Do not give a woman you heart until you have spent considerable time qualifying her. You cant do this in a week. And you cant window-shop for good character.

9. People change on their own time, and on their own accord---if they change at all. Dont expect that anything you say or do will make a woman change for you. If it is truly intolerable then you should leave her.

10. Trust, but verify. Always. Everyone wants to make a buck, and most will screw you given the chance. Dont make the mistake of assuming people always have good intentions.

 

[Desdinova]

Nice post! Here's a few:

Don't fvck up your credit rating. Don't let a woman help you fvck up your credit rating. Her shopping needs don't need to go on your credit card.

Eliminate 'friends' you don't trust. They will screw you over when it's convenient for them no matter how long you've known them.

Freedom is more valuable than love and money put together. If you're living with a woman who controls you, get rid of her. If you live with parents who control you, move out. The financial cost, heartbreak, and guilt trips is NOTHING compared to your freedom.

Don't get rid of things you love for a woman. This includes hobbies. Women will come and go, some may stay. But they will not be a source of happiness. The satisfaction you gain from your hobbies and interests will bring you more happiness than any woman ever will.

Masturbation is the safest form of sex out there. Seriously. I'd rather fvck my hand than fvck a woman who possibly has an STD.

Don't EVER leave birth control solely in the hands of a woman. She will forget to take it, she will lie about taking it, and she may not even be taking it. If you ensure that you ALWAYS use a condom, you shouldn't have to worry about her getting pregnant by 'accident'. The only person you can genuinely trust is YOU. If the condom breaks, the you need to drag her ass to the drug store and get the morning-after pill, no matter how much she protests.

Okay, that's only six. I might have more later

 

[DarkShade]

I wish my dad knew all of this stuff and passed it down to me when I was a teenager. Now I have to learn all of this in my mid 20s

 

[COD]

1) CONDOMS ARE NOT 100% PROTECTION

2) SUNSCREEN IS WAY BETTER THAN A TAN in the long run

3) PERSONALITY RULES FAR BETTER THAN LOOKS.

4) ONE-I-TIS-is a disease

5) MONEY DOES HAVE ITS BENEFITS

6) TRUE SUCCESS IS GIVING BACK TO THOSE LESS FORTUNATE

7) HUGE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LOVE AND SEX

8) DON'T ALWAYS DO THE RIGHT THING...........break the rules & have fun.

9) FINDING THE ONE STARTS FROM WITHIN

10) THE MORE THINGS CHANGE THE MORE THINGS STAY THE SAME

 

[backbreaker]

1. no girl is that hot. I promise you.

2. Seriously.

3. life is too short to settle

4. If you aren't in great shape, you are missing out on a whole new world

5. Drugs Suck

6. Just becuase they are blood does not mean you have to help them

7. You are who you hang around. If you want to be successful, surround yourself with successful people

8. each day you chose to be happy or sad, angry or in a good mood.

9. of your thought words you are master, of your spoken words you are servant, of your written words you are slave

10. seriously man.. no woman is hot enough to waste your life following.

 

[squirrels]

If you had posted this in tips, I would 5-star it.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

100 years from now, you, everybody you know, everything you did or thought about or thougth about doing, or were to nervous to do to think about, or that you might imagine someday that you thought about doing will be dead and forgotten.

Have as much fun as possible, the only law you need to be concerned about is the law of cause and effect.

And all of your fears (unless you are jumping out of an airplane without a parashute with a rattlesnake hanging on your **** while you are on fire) are BULLSHYTE.

Once you realize that you can easily release your fears and decide to live by your own rules and that the most important thing is to enjoy life, you will come to understand the obvious truth that is far more liberating and freeing than any rule anybody will try to pathetically convince you to live by.

Now.

 

[Heretolearn]

great thread!!!

 

[sodbuster]

1 when a woman complains about an ex who beat her so she left him,then her next ex cheated on her- remember it well,in the future;both will sound like good ideas. You'll just be the next azzhole in her life.

2.Just because you can read her mind and understand her doesn't mean you are soulmates and in love. She may just remind you of another psycho in your life.

3. The sex is never worth any ass kissing

4. Instead of riding up on your white horse to save the damsel in distress, shoot the horse and have a BBQ with your friends[it's cheaper and your friends will at least thank you]

5. Prenup

6. Prenup

7. look at her parents too see what her future is

8. If she doesn't like dad, you're next

9 She's had sex 4 years earlier and with 10 guys more than she's told you.

10. Women don't understand business,don't ask your partner for advice.

 

[STR8UP]

1 when a woman complains about an ex who beat her so she left him,then her next ex cheated on her- remember it well,in the future;both will sound like good ideas. You'll just be the next azzhole in her life.

2.Just because you can read her mind and understand her doesn't mean you are soulmates and in love. She may just remind you of another psycho in your life.

3. The sex is never worth any ass kissing

4. Instead of riding up on your white horse to save the damsel in distress, shoot the horse and have a BBQ with your friends[it's cheaper and your friends will at least thank you]

5. Prenup

6. Prenup

7. look at her parents too see what her future is

8. If she doesn't like dad, you're next

9 She's had sex 4 years earlier and with 10 guys more than she's told you.

10. Women don't understand business,don't ask your partner for advice.

Fukking CLASSIC. You're right on brother!

I'll add mine....

1) I don't care how long you have known someone, it doesn't mean that they are incapable of causing you immeasurable harm. Even if you played little league and were best man in their wedding.

2) Women don't "love" men. They love the emotions men give them, they love the provisioning, they love the security, but at the end of the day you are a dispensable commodity.

3) Failure only happens to quitters.

4) Women will shamelessly use you for attention and validation if you allow them to. They are also NOT as innocent as you would LIKE for them to be.

5) The best time to be a woman is between the ages of 18-24. The best time to be a man is from age 30 to whenever YOU decide it's no longer a good time to be a man.

6) Every relationship is adversarial in nature. You were put on this earth with the instinct to survive. Working WITH other people for a greater benefit (including women) is the best way to living happily amongst others, but don't expect everyone else to understand this concept, especially women.

7) There are three ways to build wealth. Real estate, the stock market, and business. The stock market requires the least amount of effort, business has the potential for the biggest payoff. Real estate is somewhere in the middle.

8) Anyone with a little discipline can retire wealthy when they are old, but it takes BALLS to make your fortune while you are young. Risk isn't as risky as you think.

9) Ignorance and closed mindedness will hold you back from many things in life. Constantly question what you "know", and don't be afraid to try new things.

10) Walking away is the most powerful weapon in your arsenal. Never be afraid to use it. This applies to business AND women.

 

[Drum&Bass]

- Take care of your body NOW so you will have an easier time maintaining it in the future.

- Don't ever become to attached to people. You should be able to walk away from just about anyone.

- People need to EARN YOUR TRUST !! A person having a great personality or a charming presence does not mean they can be trusted.

- Earn the trust of others !!!

- Whenever you feel the need to say something impulsively, STOP YOURSELF for a second and think before you speak !!

- Avoid keeping company with people who do nothing to improve their lives.

- The more mistakes you make the more you learn. Don't ever put to much pressure on yourself for making a wrong decision, just make sure you learn from it !

- Some things you just can't apologize for, so don't screw with people or their time.

- Be the best at what you do !!

- Television is for fools, learn to spend your time honing your skill/craft, educating yourself, or doing something productive.

 

[Ballie]

What can I add? Wish I knew all this when I was younger - would of saved me a lot of heartache. We just did the best we could and survived. But its never too late to start over.

 

[Desdinova]

I'll let this thread sit here for a bit and then move it to the archive.

Here's a few more...


Love does NOT conquer all.

If you haven't dated every woman who is currently living on the planet earth, then you have NOT found your 'soulmate'.

The 'sweet spot' of a woman's age is her mid-20s. If she's younger, she's immature and flakey. If she's older, her biological clock is probably ticking, she's likely divorced at least once, or she's a single mom.

 

[romangod]

1.If your life revolves around women you don't really have a life.


2. Plan your retirement income early and often in your 20s.


3.Take care of your health by working out and regular check ups.


4. Travel expands the mind.


5.Don't be consumed by the rat race. You'll end up being a rat.


6. Know thyself.


7. Come to terms with God one way or another.


8. Marriage for most men is a prison.


9. Blood is thicker than water.


10. You reap what you sow,



Cheers!


:rockon:

 

[sadora]

1. Not knowing how to cook is like not knowing how to f'ck. You have to eat for the rest of your life so might as well know how.

2. Be honest. Lying doesn't make you look better and it only comes off as bragging.

3. Don't live with regrets. You can learn from everything that happens in your life and you often learn the most from the bad things.

4. Never ask a woman how many men she's slept with. Remember that there's nothing new under the sun and anything that can be done with a woman has probably already been done, long before you got there.

5. Friends are important but your Family will always be there...(okay, that one depends on what kind of relationship you have with your family)

6. Work friends can sometimes become good friends, but don't always trust your co-workers.

7. Learn your limits. When drinking, exercising. Anything you do, make sure you're in control.

8. Be independent. Part of being a man is being able to stand on your own two feet, taking care of yourself without having to depend on handouts.

9. Work hard because it always feels good to know that you've earned what you have.

10. Learn to love the person looking back at you in the mirror. Be happy with who you are and everything you do, and always strive to be better.

 

[Colossus]

4. Never ask a woman how many men she's slept with. Remember that there's nothing new under the sun and anything that can be done with a woman has probably already been done, long before you got there.

So true, my brother. :yes:

A few more:

-Avoid losers. You will become one if you surround yourself with them.

- Dont smoke, eat a lot of garbage, or drink heavily. You are wasting your life. Embrace health and clean living.

-One of the biggest mistakes you can make in life is to make a woman the center of your universe.

-Have a set of personal non-negotiables. Stick to them.

 

[Vulpine]

1. Live within your means. Don't buy things you don't NEED, direct the cash you would use for those things to savings. Don't spend money you don't have (credit).

2. Don't watch TV. In fact, don't buy into media's hustle at ALL. Marketing has an agenda: to sell. They do so by whatever means necessary.

3. Beware of people's agendas. Live based on what's good for YOU, not what's good for others.

4. Don't rent a home. Stay at home until you have saved a down payment of 20% (in order to skip mortgage insurance), then buy a home. Trust me, the pros EASILY outweigh the cons.

5. As you have probably gathered from the above posts: avoid consumerism. Don't try to impress your neighbors with "stuff", don't try to buy a Cadillac you can't afford just to have a "status symbol". Don't plunk down $5000 for a flashy watch to impress a woman. And, along with avoiding consumerism, avoid materialism. Simplify your life wherever possible and you'll find that not only will you be better off financially, but you will also be happier overall.

6. Take care of your teeth. You only get one chance.

7. Take care of your possessions. Get as much use out of things as possible. Don't buy something just because it is "new", especially when you have one that works fine already. A good example is your car.

8. Drink water. Media, marketing, living within your means... your body runs on water: not soda, not juice, not Gatorade, water. Sodas will nickel and dime you down for years and years. Do the math. This extends into the rest of your diet as well. Don't eat things because they are "convenient". The more "convenient" a food is, the more processed it is, and the further away from real food it gets (not to mention more expensive).

9. Look before you leap. Just as with chess, learn to analyze outcomes and repercussions of your decisions.

10. Women, money, jobs, friends... they all come and go. The only person you can depend on is YOU. Ever. Build your castle, protect your castle, trust your castle, and, be comfortable alone in your castle.

 

[Desdinova]

4. Don't rent a home. Stay at home until you have saved a down payment of 20%

As much as I concur with not renting a home, some of us got the 5hit-covered end of the stick when it came to our parents. It took a few years of hard work, struggling and saving, but I put a down payment on my house without relying on my parents for anything.

 

[sadora]

-One of the biggest mistakes you can make in life is to make a woman the center of your universe.

I've been there before and it wasn't healthy. You should never rely on anyone else to make you happy. One of the best things I learned from that was worry about making yourself happy.

 

[Alexander the Great]

Well, my list is obviously painfully going to show what loser I am, but...

1. Confidence and self-esteem are everything.
And you can be Humble in whatever you do, but Humble is not submissive. If you ever have children, make sure you support them in such a manner that they develop confidence and self-esteem from the earliest age possible.

2. You shouldn't care what others think of you.
Nor act on what you think others think of you. Confidence and self-esteem are key to this.

3. Don't complain about the world, you can't change it.
Only yourself. Claim your stake and change what you don't like in your little Universe. Don't blame your parents for what they couldn't teach you. That's your lesson and path to follow now.

Also: you can't help people if they don't want to help themselves. Let them go if this is the situation.

4. Don't depend on anyone but yourself.
Not even your parents. Don't expect other people to see who you are and what you're capable of. Dont expect people to realize you have a genius-level IQ so your life will get better. You must show them. Constantly and consistently. Confidence and self-esteem are key to this.

5. Only your parents truly love you, no matter what.
If you're lucky. And I am.

6. Love as portrayed in the movies is a farce.
Well, actually it's just about people who like eachother but encounter glitches in their interactions, and it assumes people are healthy enough to deal with their issues. Most people mistake those movies for proving that you can wow anyone into a relationship with them, and that things will work out on their own. Err, no.

7. Have a dream.
Something you want to spend every waking moment on. Even better if you can make money with this. Otherwise you'll be slaving for someone else's dream your whole life. If you ever have children, stimulate them to pursue the things they like and dream about. Only then they can know what life they want for themselves.

8. Peope are equals, but not the same. Stand up for yourself!
Don't let people waltz right over you or take advantage of you. Not everyone is nice. There are truly a lot of assh*les out there. Confidence and self-esteem are key to this. (And in all honesty, people aren't equals really. Just treat them as such without losing sight and control over yourself.)

9. Education is important for a smoother life, no matter how smart you are.
Finish it, whatever you choose.

10. Live your life.
Anyone who wants to tag along is welcome. It's all about you primarily. And if this feels alien to you: it's how this world works, so better get with the program. Without betraying who you are, of course.


There are more things I could mention, and the above can probably be condensed more. But these are things I wish I'd realized better when I was younger right now.

In my view, if you life live confident and with self-esteem, knowing what you want comes automatically. And if you know what you want, the life you want will happen. Money, good people, will enter it on their own. Simply because that's the way of things. Good will befall those who do good for themselves and others. I personally believe that's what this so-called karma is all about.


Great points in other people's post, by the way.


EDIT:
To add a point 11: (also to show it doesn't matter as much to me anymore than it did)

11. Don't mistake the immediate sharing of her deepest secrets and pains by a girl you're just getting to know for honest trust and intimacy.
Healthy people know this as (unconscious) manipulation by an emotionally unstable person. My excuse is that I was somewhat emotionally unstable myself at the time. Had I not been, I would not have fallen for this trap.