I guess I am frustrated....but...Im having a tough time meeting people. Maybe because of the lack of opputunities...or lack of strength. I dont know.
I live at home with my parents..im 19..Im going to my 2nd yr of college, its a commuter college, which means no dorms. I have about three of four friends, who I will see once a week and I used to have a girlfriend..broke up like three weeks ago, she was my first girlfriend, who I lost my big V to but I had made out with three girls before her.
Now.. I try my best to try to think up of situations where I could try talk to people, but starting convos with random ppl around me, is very difficult since there isnt much to talk about. Ive tried hanging out in the Student Union Building in my campus, all I see is guys with girls..hot girls..who dont give the time of day to me.
Now im pretty good looking..im kinda skinny. I think I have a low self esttem otherwise I wouldnt be asking such things from people. Problem is that I feel comfortable with a certain type of people while my ego wants me to hang out with a certain other type of people. I just dont have that chemistry or spark when talking to people. In otherwords boring. Maybe the problem comes from the fact that I dont believe in myself. I dont know
Now bear with me.
I feel very guilty that I drove my gf away, I made a few mistakes, actually alot and after reading some posts, im starting to see that I had something special, well at least special for me, she introduced me to her firends and to a world I never knew about. She had a very outgoing lifestyle. She hung out almost everyday, she showed me how to live a more enjoyable life.
After a three weeks...she introduced me to her parents... we got closer and closer. We did so many things together. Going to the beach, the park, restaurants. She drove me around, bcuz I dont have a car. I would see her at work, she would take a one hour break from lunch and come to see me during the summer. She was really into me and the sex was amazing.
Maybe to some of you other guys, this isnt such a big deal, but for me, for a guy who stays home and barely gets out, it was a world of experience and fun. She was hot too, she was italian Hb7.5 (im indian, a sense of conquest cuz she was italian). She lived an exclusive lifestyle, she showed me movies and told me about songs and told me about places in my own city that I never knew about or had no idea exsisted. We did things such as going to the city and going to a mueseum coming back on the train to where we parked her car and then driving off to a motel to have sex. Compare that to an average weekend of mine where ill just go out for pool for 2 hours with my friends and come home. And stay in the rest of the weekend. Or maybe go watch a movie with my brother who is 15. I dont club, maybe been to a club like 5 or six times total, clubs scare me, im too afraid. I mean ive never been to a girls house, I did that with her. Id never held a girls hand, Id never hanged out in a week more than twice, Id never been to the beach with a girl, Id never had so many firsts. She gave them to me all.
Now why did I tell you all this. To compare and contrast my life.
My life sucks becasue I have nobody in my life to make it exciting other than a few people. I had my gf. But now shes gone..im back to my meak bummness. Ive come to the conclusion that it does suck..im just not feeling pity for myself.
What i want in my life is more people, who like me and care for me like my gf did. I want guys and girls. I want a girl who will care for me like she did, (like buttoning up my shirt after it dried from the rain we walked through). It might be stupid but I like it.
I feel as if my social skills and my self esteem/confidence issues are stopping me from enjoying life. After 18 and a half yrs of being alone a rejected by ppl, I was constantly made fun off and I always was the odd man out, I met this one girl who showed me so much, spent 300 bux on my birthday, I clung to her like white on rice. BIG mistake. But you can see why, when the world is a cold place and then some one comes and brings it tremendous warmth that, why I wud get so attached.
This experience with this girl MADE me realize, that Im missing out on alot of good things in life. I dont like to party, Im not a party animal, I dont want to have tons of sex with tons of diff ppl, all I wanted was someone to care for me like she did, and be hot at the same time.
Yet the DILLEMA lies in the fact those who dont party or mix and mingle and have tons of friends, dont meet that many people. They hence end up like me, alone, with only a few friends who dont do much at all. I met her by chance, she was in my class visting from my old highschool, on a campus tour. I said Hi and one thing led to another. That day for some reason, I was very confident and i gelled, everything went smooth. SHE asked me out, I said no the first time, yes the second time.
For a person who sits home most of the time, doing nothing or very little, this was an incredible chance. A great 4 months, for someone who has such low selfesteem and experience.
My ex has her own life, she knows so many other guys, and girls. She hangs out everyday after she comes home, back from college, she picks up a few guys and girls and drives off to the local ice cream shop and hang out spot. She made out with this guy whom her friend introduced her too, two days after saying it was over with me. Not a good sign of character but anyway.
For me, its now sitting at home or watching tv. Alone with my brother to keep me company. Yeah Ill go out, ill see people pass me bye with their own lives, guys hanging out with girls, or guys clubbing every week with their mates. Guys in college all strong and built, with great personalities. OR they might have a few close friends who do ALOT of fun things together.
Basically Im sick and tired of the life im living and I dont know what to do anymore. Ive tried everything I could, Ive tried being outgoing, more social, more confident you name it. I guess it just wasnt meant for me
I live at home with my parents..im 19..Im going to my 2nd yr of college, its a commuter college, which means no dorms. I have about three of four friends, who I will see once a week and I used to have a girlfriend..broke up like three weeks ago, she was my first girlfriend, who I lost my big V to but I had made out with three girls before her.
Now.. I try my best to try to think up of situations where I could try talk to people, but starting convos with random ppl around me, is very difficult since there isnt much to talk about. Ive tried hanging out in the Student Union Building in my campus, all I see is guys with girls..hot girls..who dont give the time of day to me.
Now im pretty good looking..im kinda skinny. I think I have a low self esttem otherwise I wouldnt be asking such things from people. Problem is that I feel comfortable with a certain type of people while my ego wants me to hang out with a certain other type of people. I just dont have that chemistry or spark when talking to people. In otherwords boring. Maybe the problem comes from the fact that I dont believe in myself. I dont know
Now bear with me.
I feel very guilty that I drove my gf away, I made a few mistakes, actually alot and after reading some posts, im starting to see that I had something special, well at least special for me, she introduced me to her firends and to a world I never knew about. She had a very outgoing lifestyle. She hung out almost everyday, she showed me how to live a more enjoyable life.
After a three weeks...she introduced me to her parents... we got closer and closer. We did so many things together. Going to the beach, the park, restaurants. She drove me around, bcuz I dont have a car. I would see her at work, she would take a one hour break from lunch and come to see me during the summer. She was really into me and the sex was amazing.
Maybe to some of you other guys, this isnt such a big deal, but for me, for a guy who stays home and barely gets out, it was a world of experience and fun. She was hot too, she was italian Hb7.5 (im indian, a sense of conquest cuz she was italian). She lived an exclusive lifestyle, she showed me movies and told me about songs and told me about places in my own city that I never knew about or had no idea exsisted. We did things such as going to the city and going to a mueseum coming back on the train to where we parked her car and then driving off to a motel to have sex. Compare that to an average weekend of mine where ill just go out for pool for 2 hours with my friends and come home. And stay in the rest of the weekend. Or maybe go watch a movie with my brother who is 15. I dont club, maybe been to a club like 5 or six times total, clubs scare me, im too afraid. I mean ive never been to a girls house, I did that with her. Id never held a girls hand, Id never hanged out in a week more than twice, Id never been to the beach with a girl, Id never had so many firsts. She gave them to me all.
Now why did I tell you all this. To compare and contrast my life.
My life sucks becasue I have nobody in my life to make it exciting other than a few people. I had my gf. But now shes gone..im back to my meak bummness. Ive come to the conclusion that it does suck..im just not feeling pity for myself.
What i want in my life is more people, who like me and care for me like my gf did. I want guys and girls. I want a girl who will care for me like she did, (like buttoning up my shirt after it dried from the rain we walked through). It might be stupid but I like it.
I feel as if my social skills and my self esteem/confidence issues are stopping me from enjoying life. After 18 and a half yrs of being alone a rejected by ppl, I was constantly made fun off and I always was the odd man out, I met this one girl who showed me so much, spent 300 bux on my birthday, I clung to her like white on rice. BIG mistake. But you can see why, when the world is a cold place and then some one comes and brings it tremendous warmth that, why I wud get so attached.
This experience with this girl MADE me realize, that Im missing out on alot of good things in life. I dont like to party, Im not a party animal, I dont want to have tons of sex with tons of diff ppl, all I wanted was someone to care for me like she did, and be hot at the same time.
Yet the DILLEMA lies in the fact those who dont party or mix and mingle and have tons of friends, dont meet that many people. They hence end up like me, alone, with only a few friends who dont do much at all. I met her by chance, she was in my class visting from my old highschool, on a campus tour. I said Hi and one thing led to another. That day for some reason, I was very confident and i gelled, everything went smooth. SHE asked me out, I said no the first time, yes the second time.
For a person who sits home most of the time, doing nothing or very little, this was an incredible chance. A great 4 months, for someone who has such low selfesteem and experience.
My ex has her own life, she knows so many other guys, and girls. She hangs out everyday after she comes home, back from college, she picks up a few guys and girls and drives off to the local ice cream shop and hang out spot. She made out with this guy whom her friend introduced her too, two days after saying it was over with me. Not a good sign of character but anyway.
For me, its now sitting at home or watching tv. Alone with my brother to keep me company. Yeah Ill go out, ill see people pass me bye with their own lives, guys hanging out with girls, or guys clubbing every week with their mates. Guys in college all strong and built, with great personalities. OR they might have a few close friends who do ALOT of fun things together.
Basically Im sick and tired of the life im living and I dont know what to do anymore. Ive tried everything I could, Ive tried being outgoing, more social, more confident you name it. I guess it just wasnt meant for me
