OLD is online dating.
The point I think you might be missing is that due to the nature of cold approach, you're going to have a higher frequency of fizzles than you may imagine. It doesn't mean you're doing it wrong. It's just part of cold approach. In other situations like social circle, women have more of a chance to vet you from the safety of a group setting, over however long she needs to get a sense of whether you are her "type". With cold approach, she only has a quick F2F interaction followed by texting to decide whether you are her type or if she wants to go on a date and take a risk to really see if you are. All this translates to a high failure rate, and it's often nothing you are doing wrong, you must simply accept it as a factor of this style of approach.
No need to delve into the merits or viability of cold approach to me. I meet all the women I date that way. Of all the girls I've dated in the last two years, only one of them was through social circle. All the rest were cold approach.
My experience has taught me much about it. Some scenarios I have found:
1. Girl is so blown away by your confidence and the flattery that she is scrambled and can't figure out if you are her type but then later over text where she's not experiencing the flood of emotions ,she realizes you aren't.
2. She has a boyfriend of some sort, but is so blown away by your approach that she figures she will give you a try to see if you are mr perfect and the right guy to "trade-up" with. It's hard to live up to those expectations so she is out once she identifies the first chunk in your armor.
3. Something in your text game isn't congruent with your cold approach confidence. A major turn-off for women is incongruence of any kind. IE if you act infallibly confident in your initial approach but then slightly less confident in your subsequent interactions. She sees you are just acting and it's over in a flash for her.
4. She's only looking for a one night stand and you are giving off dating vibes, or she's only looking for relationships and you're giving off player vibes.
5. Your game isn't tight. Nothing cold-approach specific here but it does go back to congruence. To match your cold approach confidence, your game must be tight AF. And by tight I mean it can't feel too smooth or it will come off as rehearsed and not "just for her." You can't supplicate. You have to challenge her. You have to respond properly to any sh*t tests. You can't be thirsty. You can't beat around the bush. You have to approach it from a mindset of "Yeah I saw you and thought you were cute enough to find out more about you..... Now are you going to pass my scrutiny and prove yourself as an interesting person of substance who I align with?" Further complicating this is your ability to read or even GUESS whether she is looking for a hookup or a date because how you vet her depends on what she is looking for. Interpret her signals incorrectly and you're out. Simple as that.
I'd need to see your text exchanges to provide more input. I get their number as a follow-up to them agreeing to go on a date with me, so the purpose of texting after that is to set the logistics. I do not confirm their interest over text. Something in your original post leads me to think you're confirming their interest in a date... Are you? My first text is usually, "Hey it's X, good meeting you the other day. Would like to make-good on my promise of a drink. I'm free Thursday at 7 or Sunday at 8. Let me know what works." Subsequent conversation should be about the date logistics ONLY. If she diverts to small-talk, she's either an attention wh*re or she needs a little more time to get comfortable with you before agreeing to a date. In case of the latter, I will make a tiny amount of flirty small talk, but it has to be flirty and only maybe 8-10 messages before I will say I have to run but let me know about the days/times I proposed. If she continues making small talk, I ghost until she agrees to meet. If she suggests an alternative day or place, I will counter that with a new day or place of my own and keep doing that until she agrees to one of MY proposals. If she is non-committal like "I'm not sure" or "I might be able to" I say, "Cool, let me know when you know for sure" and I will not engage in any small talk or additional discussion if it isnt around the subject of setting a difinitive date. If she agrees to a definitive date, I will engage in small talk over text as much as she wants (to a point) between now and the date. If her texts were slow and short while setting up the date, I won't make an effort to initiate small talk.
There is little you can do over text in terms of driving things and increasing attraction IF she is not giving you signs that she wants to do that with you. You get the number to set the date. You them contact her for that purpose. If she is short over text, don't think you can "charm" her via text to get her back on the hook. Just doing so puts you in the wrong frame. She should want to see you. You are not here to perform for her and convince her. So if she doesn't respond positively to your text to set the date and she is not investing in the text conversation, NEXT! Clearly this cannot be your fault given the facts I just laid out so just see it for what it is and accept it.
StormRider has good points about social circle vs cold approach. Social circle is a more natural approach that will lead to fewer rejections and a higher success rate. That's a fact, not an opinion. But not everyone has the kind of social circle that is filled with new hot women drifting through it on the daily. One must cultivate it carefully and deliberately over time. I think it's a great goal to shoot for but I haven't found the jackpot there yet so I cold approach while I keep searching.
Some examples so you know it is not just you:
I approached a girl waiting on the subway reading a book. Very interested in talking to me and nervous in all the right ways. We talked for 5 mins waiting for the train, then rode the train 20 mins together. Learned a lot about her, vibe was flirty, she was super into talking to me. We learned we both have dogs and try to involve our dogs in everything we do. At her stop, I said we should keep in touch and continue this conversation and then asked if she has FB (note I did not ask her out on a date like I normally would at this point because we were on a crowded train and I didn't want her to feel on the spot), she quickly agreed and gave me her FB. 10 mins later she accepted. 3 hours later she DMd me saying, "Hey I just wanted to thank you for approaching me. I loved our conversation, it was wonderful meeting you and I've been smiling all morning because of it. You really made my day." I responded back a couple hours later saying it was great to meet her too and asked if shed like to get together in a few days. She read my message and never replied.
Cold approached a girl at the store and she was flattered. We talked 10 mins with a lot of enchanted eye contact.... The kind where there is an immediate animalistic attraction. She agreed to a date, she showed up for the date, and I was making out with her within an hour. Went to a second venue, made out again later. As far as I could tell, everything went perfectly. She got all dressed up for me and even made a comment during the date about it. I texted her 3 days after the date to ask her a question about something we discussed on the date. She didn't reply until the next day. I responded to that and she never responded to me. Never heard from her again.
Now,. I have plenty of other examples of excellent outcomes with women half my age, but no need to go into those. The point with my examples above is even if things seem perfect, and even if you make the right moves, much is out of your control if SHE isn't perfectly aligned. In a social circle setting, a girl has time to vet you from a distance and if she is available and aligned with you and wants you, she will give you IOIs and you can move on that. In cold approach, you have to accept a higher failure rate and just keep going.
You MUST remove the thought that you are always in control. You aren't. You can control some things but not everything.
" and subsequently making plans for the date immediately) , they always act like I described above.
