Strict Parents...

[i am me]

I'm beginning to realize that my parents may be the reason why I started off high school with low confidence. I feel good about myself now but I had to learn from the internet (and teach myself...) how to "not be afraid." I would describe myself, last year, as a pu**y. My parents didn't even really care that I was an unsocial person.

Don't get me wrong...I LOVE my parents (and brother) more than anyone else in the world (besides me), and I am willing to spend time with them. It's just that even when we're not DOING anything, they don't like it when I go places with my friends. I DON'T EVEN GO OUT THAT OFTEN because I know it pisses them off. But still, my dad will say things like "Oh? So are you going to go to every party you're invited to?" whenever I ask him if I can go somewhere. Then he gets mad if I come back home at like 9 o' clock. They aren't even always "parties." He just assumes whenever I want to go to the mall or see a movie with my friends, it some kind of big event or something...and he doesn't want me to go to all of them. I can understand if I was being punished for something in particular or if I was hanging out with a "bad crowd" but nothing like that is happening. I also undertand that I can't go with my friends all the time, but I don't think he realizes how much stuff I don't go to. It's like...he doesn't trust me or something. He says he does but I don't believe it with the way he treats me. Even when I get my license, he wants to know where I am all the time. I try hard at school, I've never got in serious trouble, I've never been suspended, and I'm an all around good kid but...I'm frustrated I guess. Now that I'm getting comfortable with my new social/DJ skills, I think the only thing that's holding me back is my parents. I love them...but what am I supposed to do?

 

[Void]

I would confront your parents about how they're holding you back in your social life. I WOULDN'T tell them that they're holding you back from girls. Say that you're friends are getting mad at you and people at school think you're queer because you stay at home all the time. That's what i would do.

 

[Disconnect]

Know how they say "Family before everything else"? Well, that's a crock of shìt if I ever heard one, since parents are still people like everyone else, and while they wish the best for you, they may not know everything about life (regardless of how much they like to think otherwise). Your dad is prolly just worried about you getting into drugs and sex (unsafe sex ) due to peer pressure, if you keep socializing. What he doesn't realize is how much it cripples you.

Have you ever asked WHY you mustn't go out every time you're invited? Bet he doesn't have a logical reason. They always say something like: "Well, just beacause", or "It's not good for you". Keep asking "why?", and eventually they will come out straight about being worried for your safety or something. THEN, you can reassure them that everything will be fine with you, and you know how to use a condom, and blah blah....

But if they're really anal, they won't listen, and this is where you have to hold your own - they don't need to know where you are at all times (if you have a cell phone, and they ring you every hour, leave it at home). I had a cell, and my parents constantly phoned to check on me. Got really annoying - I once took a day hike in the mountains with my girl, and they kept phoning me until I shut it off. I go out just for that reason - to get out, to leave my home life at home, and be independant for once. I don't want them to try and be in control when I'm out.

 

[Zaine]

Excellent reviews...although I would add something...if they don't listen, don't raise your anger level, keep a straight face, normal tone of voice, and do as Disconnect wisely stated.

 

[texmex23]

wow, you must be like my twin brother or something, cause my panrets are the same way...its hard keeping up a social life like that if your parents are that strict, beleive me, ....my paren'ts are always not letting me go places, and they want me to come home like exactly at nine...but sometimes i tell them i'll call them to pick me up or something but my dad(noticed i said dad and not mom), he'll get mad and say hes gonna pick me up at a certain time...so i feel what your going through, sometimes he barely lets me go to some friends house(sucks)....so i cant help you out of this stuff, but hopefully someone here can(and help me too).......

 

[PiHiPlaya]

mmmm

Tell your Parents to F off.

You're a teenager now, start rebelling. The worse you are the less they'll care when you do insignifigant stuff. Who cares if they wanna know what you're doing. Just tell them you're out. Don't ask them to go out, tell them you're going out. They'll get used to it, if you let your parents rule your life while you're in HS, you're gonna have low self esteem when you get into the real world... definitely not good.

It's natural for teenagers to rebel, it's your way of establishing your independence. Next time they make stupid little comments confront em about it.... sit them down and talk to them about it. If they're still a-holes about you going out... break curfew every night.

I know it sounds like a bad thing to do... but you got to live a little.

 

[i am me]

/\ If I did something like that, they'd get really pissed....to the point that they wouldn't forgive me.

On the bright side, it's not like they don't want me to have friends (or girlfriends). It's just...the time they think I should spend with them isn't enough (in my opinion). Their excuse sometimes is "you see them everyday at school." YEAH. But f**king school is a lot different than hanging out...

 

[PiHiPlaya]

Yeah, then definitely tell them to F Off, you're freaking out... don't worry they'll forgive you. If they love you as much as you love them they'll forgive you.

Be a Man.

 

[AlexisonFire25]

my advice is dont ask to go places, tell them you are going some where or just go.i mean honestly there isnt much they can do. Lock you out just sleep at a friends house, take your car keys away get a ride. When you ask they still think they have controll over what you do.

 

[Disconnect]

Get a job and then a car. That way, you won't have to rely on rides from your parents.

Agreed with the above - don't ask, state. Wanna go out, go ahead, you don't need permission UNLESS you got crap to do, like homework or chores, for which they can bìtch at you if you didn't do them. So be aware of your responsibilities. If you are, you are free to go out any time. Just don't expect a ride from them - that's just rude and demanding.

 

[shdw]

dood... thats just like me they keep holding me back from everything...
well if i tell my parents to F off they beat the F out of me lol
dont worry when you get into college you dont have to worry about them holding you back anymore

 

[skinnydart]

Speaking of strict parents, my parents don't even believe in "dating". But I did what Disconnect suggessted, I have my own car and job now, and on most evenings I just tell them I'll be home at 11, and if they asked where I was I usually just say studying or something, when really I'm taking girls out and stuff or hanging with the dudes.

 

[Nex]

I have a completely opposite problem, I wish my parents would be a little bit more strict. I mean, I'm out of control.

I can go out any time, every night and get back home at like 6 AM, and nobody will say ****. If they do say anything, I'll explode and make sure they stfu before I break something..

 

[Zaine]

whoa....If you want them to be more srtict, then y u make sure they stfu?

 

[Nex]

Just sometimes wish they could control me to some extent. I STFU them as a test of power, wish it was possible for them to retaliate in a way that would limit me somehow.

But it's all good now that they moved to ITALY and I'll be alone this whole month.

 

[familyguyfan]

Originally posted by Nex
Just sometimes wish they could control me to some extent. I STFU them as a test of power, wish it was possible for them to retaliate in a way that would limit me somehow.

But it's all good now that they moved to ITALY and I'll be alone this whole month.

Haha that's crazy, I bet you're throwin down every weekend.

My parents aren't really strict at all, but I wish I could a) not have a curfew..or at least a later one, and b) have them be cool with me drinking; I've never been caught so I don't know that they aren't, but I'd like to know. Sometimes they give me signals that they would get pissed, other times it seems like they wouldn't care.

 

[Fitch]

I am allowed to drink -- but in moderation. And not "****" drinks but the good stuff, the good quality beverages; wine for the most part. My dad let me even try Vodka. He knew I'd hate it -- that is probably why he did it... pretty clever -- I admit.

 

[Nex]

Originally posted by familyguyfan
Haha that's crazy, I bet you're throwin down every weekend.

My parents aren't really strict at all, but I wish I could a) not have a curfew..or at least a later one, and b) have them be cool with me drinking; I've never been caught so I don't know that they aren't, but I'd like to know. Sometimes they give me signals that they would get pissed, other times it seems like they wouldn't care.

I'm in Brazil, so naturally they let me drink. One time, when 13, I made the mistake of drinking too much at "Carnaval", and had an overdose. Woke up in the hospital full of needles wondering what the hell I'm doing there.

They've also recently found out I smoke/have smoked weed, taked to me about it, but I had already found out that they smoke, too.