To address your questions
@RickTheToad what I'll say is this. I am very objective from the viewpoint of an outstanding woman with her act together. As to running the ship with the current BF? Not the case at all. He's a retired E9 NCO. He has no problem being IN CHARGE. I quite like that about him. He has his act together and doesn't need me to support him or any of that nonsense. His children are grown, he'll be a grandparent soon, he owns a nice home, he is retired but has friends and non-profit things he enjoys spending time with.
So while I agree with you from the standpoint of no, I'm not "average", but I am utterly objective about my situation.
In fact we are going through a turbulent time currently. My business obligations have picked up a great deal (which is good problem to have) but this means I have to be away a great deal. He hates it when I'm away (and I already have to be away a sizable percentage of the time because my children live in a different location than my BF - he does travel there with me sometimes) and so we have to decide how best to address the situation. He didn't like being away from his woman when he was deployed, and he doesn't like having to deal with that now. I'm not yet in a place where I can retire as comfortably as I'd like...and I'm facing college expenses for my teens. So I need to hit it hard for a little bit yet before I can retire and have more leisure time. So although life is good for me, things still come up and situations can require adjustments. Obviously as a good parent I must put my minor children's needs ahead of my own. Unfortunately that means ahead of the BF's needs too. He understands it but he isn't crazy about it. I may need a man who is himself still working and/or who also still has minor children who can better tolerate my business/children obligations. And he may need a woman who is more consistently available to him as he has plenty of leisure time. When we have traveled together while I'm doing business, he has to occupy himself while I'm in meetings or working. When we are enjoying the weekends or the evenings or leisure time together (such as when my business load is lighter as periodically happens) we do just great. We aren't quite in the same life stage. Will it work? Can't say. We love each other deeply but that isn't the only consideration at play. If we part ways I think each of us will be able to objectively evaluate the value we bring one another (compared to others).
I know other very attractive women my age. Most married young and stayed that way. I do have a group of gals who are in my age range who are single (widowed or divorced) similar to me in looks and means, and none of us has any issue meeting men or being asked out on dates. So my viewpoint reflects my own observations surrounding myself and my peer group.