Status is everything in this game

[BeExcellent]

What makes you assume that you, or any woman, is "great?"

Why do you assume by default that you deserve any respect for free? Let alone that you get to decide who does and does not deserve "respect." Who gave you that title?

You are welcome to draw your own conclusions as everyone does. There is plenty of content of mine around here. You are welcome to read it.

@RickTheToad I don’t see contradiction at all in what I’ve said. I did get asked a question by saying someone above that was somewhat tangential to the OP.

I think what the OP said is true, especially in a nightgame environment.

I’m happy to respond further if you like.

 

[ChillDude6767]

You are welcome to draw your own conclusions as everyone does. There is plenty of content of mine around here. You are welcome to read it.

@RickTheToad I don’t see contradiction at all in what I’ve said. I did get asked a question by saying someone above that was somewhat tangential to the OP.

I think what the OP said is true, especially in a nightgame environment.

I’m happy to respond further if you like.

You didn't answer my question at all.

 

[RickTheToad]

You are welcome to draw your own conclusions as everyone does. There is plenty of content of mine around here. You are welcome to read it.

@RickTheToad I don’t see contradiction at all in what I’ve said. I did get asked a question by saying someone above that was somewhat tangential to the OP.

I think what the OP said is true, especially in a nightgame environment.

I’m happy to respond further if you like.

By all means. Please expound as much as you wish. I do think, respectfully, your situation is a bit different than the average 50 y.o. lady. You have your own money from your own business that you've built up (kudos). You basically support your ex-husband with a monthly allotment (admirable for you, not so much for him). And your current bf seems more of you keeping him around for his affirmations and conveniences he provides. It's clear you run the ship. However, most other ladies who are 50 or older are not as well established financially or have the perceived attractiveness as you may have. Cutting to the chase here, you have a unique situation here. You are not looking at things objectively and you cannot really be objective on your own situation; most people cannot.

 

[BeExcellent]

By all means. Please expound as much as you wish. I do think, respectfully, your situation is a bit different than the average 50 y.o. lady. You have your own money from your own business that you've built up (kudos). You basically support your ex-husband with a monthly allotment (admirable for you, not so much for him). And your current bf seems more of you keeping him around for his affirmations and conveniences he provides. It's clear you run the ship. However, most other ladies who are 50 or older are not as well established financially or have the perceived attractiveness as you may have. Cutting to the chase here, you have a unique situation here. You are not looking at things objectively and you cannot really be objective on your own situation; most people cannot.

To address your questions @RickTheToad what I'll say is this. I am very objective from the viewpoint of an outstanding woman with her act together. As to running the ship with the current BF? Not the case at all. He's a retired E9 NCO. He has no problem being IN CHARGE. I quite like that about him. He has his act together and doesn't need me to support him or any of that nonsense. His children are grown, he'll be a grandparent soon, he owns a nice home, he is retired but has friends and non-profit things he enjoys spending time with.

So while I agree with you from the standpoint of no, I'm not "average", but I am utterly objective about my situation.

In fact we are going through a turbulent time currently. My business obligations have picked up a great deal (which is good problem to have) but this means I have to be away a great deal. He hates it when I'm away (and I already have to be away a sizable percentage of the time because my children live in a different location than my BF - he does travel there with me sometimes) and so we have to decide how best to address the situation. He didn't like being away from his woman when he was deployed, and he doesn't like having to deal with that now. I'm not yet in a place where I can retire as comfortably as I'd like...and I'm facing college expenses for my teens. So I need to hit it hard for a little bit yet before I can retire and have more leisure time. So although life is good for me, things still come up and situations can require adjustments. Obviously as a good parent I must put my minor children's needs ahead of my own. Unfortunately that means ahead of the BF's needs too. He understands it but he isn't crazy about it. I may need a man who is himself still working and/or who also still has minor children who can better tolerate my business/children obligations. And he may need a woman who is more consistently available to him as he has plenty of leisure time. When we have traveled together while I'm doing business, he has to occupy himself while I'm in meetings or working. When we are enjoying the weekends or the evenings or leisure time together (such as when my business load is lighter as periodically happens) we do just great. We aren't quite in the same life stage. Will it work? Can't say. We love each other deeply but that isn't the only consideration at play. If we part ways I think each of us will be able to objectively evaluate the value we bring one another (compared to others).

I know other very attractive women my age. Most married young and stayed that way. I do have a group of gals who are in my age range who are single (widowed or divorced) similar to me in looks and means, and none of us has any issue meeting men or being asked out on dates. So my viewpoint reflects my own observations surrounding myself and my peer group.

 

[allancc3]

I recall the time I was with an 8/10 in Miami and a beautiful blonde woman comes up to her and says “he’s gorgeous” referring to me.

I can recall last week on a date with gorgeous foreign woman, this 8/10 bartender is staring at me. The same bar tender I’ve seen several times, but never caught a ton of attention from her before.

Being seen with a good looking woman makes you attractive to the majority of women out there. It’s common sense but a lot of guys don’t get it. All this **** about improving yourself, getting a good body in the gym is great but the most powerful tool is just to have a hot chick with you.

I would go as far to say that an average guy in a town that is dating a 9 or 10 will be attractive to the majority of women out there. Status over money and looks in my personal experience.

PUA fiction.

 

[zekko]

Being seen with a good looking woman makes you attractive to the majority of women out there. It’s common sense but a lot of guys don’t get it. All this **** about improving yourself, getting a good body in the gym is great but the most powerful tool is just to have a hot chick with you.

I would go as far to say that an average guy in a town that is dating a 9 or 10 will be attractive to the majority of women out there. Status over money and looks in my personal experience.

I would imagine most incels would not be dating a 9 or a 10, and good looking women are probably not looking to be seen with them.
It's a bit like saying "If you want to date a 9, be seen dating a 9. Then 9s will want to date you". It doesn't tell the incel how to get a 9 out with them in the first place.

 

[BeExcellent]

I would imagine most incels would not be dating a 9 or a 10, and good looking women are probably not looking to be seen with them.
It's a bit like saying "If you want to date a 9, be seen dating a 9. Then 9s will want to date you". It doesn't tell the incel how to get a 9 out with them in the first place.

Agreed. However if people are friends or know each other socially and they hang out together in a social setting it still can showcase a man who isn’t a 9+ himself but might dress well & have a dynamic personality. The guy I used to hit the town with was not classically handsome. He was tall but probably a 6.5 or a 7.5. He was trim and rather lanky. Not my type to date...but he was a BLAST to run around with and he had mega personality and a total IDGAF attitude. He did decently well in spite of his looks on his own. But out with me once we’d showcase his dancing skills? He’d slay.

 

[RickTheToad]

To address your questions @RickTheToad what I'll say is this. I am very objective from the viewpoint of an outstanding woman with her act together. As to running the ship with the current BF? Not the case at all. He's a retired E9 NCO. He has no problem being IN CHARGE. I quite like that about him. He has his act together and doesn't need me to support him or any of that nonsense. His children are grown, he'll be a grandparent soon, he owns a nice home, he is retired but has friends and non-profit things he enjoys spending time with.

So while I agree with you from the standpoint of no, I'm not "average", but I am utterly objective about my situation.

In fact we are going through a turbulent time currently. My business obligations have picked up a great deal (which is good problem to have) but this means I have to be away a great deal. He hates it when I'm away (and I already have to be away a sizable percentage of the time because my children live in a different location than my BF - he does travel there with me sometimes) and so we have to decide how best to address the situation. He didn't like being away from his woman when he was deployed, and he doesn't like having to deal with that now. I'm not yet in a place where I can retire as comfortably as I'd like...and I'm facing college expenses for my teens. So I need to hit it hard for a little bit yet before I can retire and have more leisure time. So although life is good for me, things still come up and situations can require adjustments. Obviously as a good parent I must put my minor children's needs ahead of my own. Unfortunately that means ahead of the BF's needs too. He understands it but he isn't crazy about it. I may need a man who is himself still working and/or who also still has minor children who can better tolerate my business/children obligations. And he may need a woman who is more consistently available to him as he has plenty of leisure time. When we have traveled together while I'm doing business, he has to occupy himself while I'm in meetings or working. When we are enjoying the weekends or the evenings or leisure time together (such as when my business load is lighter as periodically happens) we do just great. We aren't quite in the same life stage. Will it work? Can't say. We love each other deeply but that isn't the only consideration at play. If we part ways I think each of us will be able to objectively evaluate the value we bring one another (compared to others).

I know other very attractive women my age. Most married young and stayed that way. I do have a group of gals who are in my age range who are single (widowed or divorced) similar to me in looks and means, and none of us has any issue meeting men or being asked out on dates. So my viewpoint reflects my own observations surrounding myself and my peer group.

Fair enough, but I still feel that your situation is not the norm. You seem to be a very enterprising lady; congrats on your success. While I am not Athena or Metis, I know from experience, personal and seeing it happen with others, something will have to give. A person can only be pulled so much before the dominoes start to fall. If you have your children pulling you one way, your BF pulling you another way, your business pulling you the other way, and your own needs pulling you yet a different way three will eventually break. It undeniable that it will happen unless a plan of delegation and order is put together for each prong. The business one should be the easiest one to handle, as you can hire people to handle some of the heavy lifting (unless you need to micro-manage everything). The personal stuff, BF stuff, children stuff will be much more difficult. Obviously, you will most likely put your children next in line, as if one cannot take care of themselves to their satisfaction, how could they take care of any one else? As for your BF, both you and him need to have each others' needs met.

Just adding my .02 cents to your reply. Not juding or suggesting anything. Remember, my response is worth exactly what you've paid for it... Zero.

 

[zekko]

Agreed. However if people are friends or know each other socially and they hang out together in a social setting it still can showcase a man who isn’t a 9+ himself but might dress well & have a dynamic personality. The guy I used to hit the town with was not classically handsome. He was tall but probably a 6.5 or a 7.5. He was trim and rather lanky. Not my type to date...but he was a BLAST to run around with and he had mega personality and a total IDGAF attitude. He did decently well in spite of his looks on his own. But out with me once we’d showcase his dancing skills? He’d slay.

True, but as you point out, that guy has some skills to begin with. If he wasn't so fun and didn't have so much personality, chances are he wouldn't have been able to get you out to put on display.

Everybody's path is different, but I'm just saying that some guys who struggle with women might have trouble getting an attractive woman out with him under any circumstance. Others might be able to find one under the "friend" label, but if they're that desperate they might start to catch feelings for the "friend", and more problems would ensue. But certainly good advice for those who can take it. Especially if they are good dancers. All depends on where someone is in their growth level, and what their strengths and weaknesses are.

 

[Mazer]

You don't have to be with a hot chick to still get social proof. Even just approaching one and ejecting will perk the women across the bar/nightclub radar. That's why it's important to approach attractive sets as soon as possible.

A man needs to be somewhat attractive for this to work or have an aura about him. You can’t just take a man who is a four in looks, place him with a female who is an 8 and assume hb 8’s are going to flock to him. Not going to happen. I have female friends who actually feel bad for the woman, “ why would she hang out with him, yuks” they def aren’t running over to him to find out what he is all about.

 

[Atom Smasher]

About every two years I play golf with a prominent rocker who started the whole gender bending thing back in the 70s, even going by a female 1st name. I’m trying to be search engine cautious here.

Now, he is a very “weathered” individual. Not what you would call a handsome guy. I mean really weathered. It’s always entertaining to me to see him in a normal golf outfit with that pot belly of his, and he still attracts the young women and they have no idea under the sun who he is. He just gives off that fun, IDGAF vibe. I suppose the long hair doesn’t hurt though. He pony tails it while playing golf.

Although he has that IDGAF vibe, he is VERY friendly and polite. He’s got the mix down perfectly.

More and more I realize that attraction is far less about looks than it is about providing fun for those who are around you, detachment, and an air of leadership. I think it’s a bit easier for us older guys as these qualites develop over the decades. Fun times are ahead, young ones, if you follow that paradigm.

The trick, one on one, is to have your own energy lead every interaction. Very often we are in reactive mode even when we don’t think we are. We are allowing female energy to dominate as we react to it, as if we are swimmers in a current.

Flip the direction of energy flow and the magic starts to happen. You know what I always say... every interaction should be YOU judging THEM for suitability in your life.

All my life I have thought it was mostly about looks, and I couldn’t have been more wrong. It’s about attitude and energy flow. You should be the current she is forced to navigate and survive in, not the other way around. The energy of interactions should initiate from you.

 

[RickTheToad]

About every two years I play golf with a prominent rocker who started the whole gender bending thing back in the 70s, even going by a female 1st name. I’m trying to be search engine cautious here.

Now, he is a very “weathered” individual. Not what you would call a handsome guy. I mean really weathered. It’s always entertaining to me to see him in a normal golf outfit with that pot belly of his, and he still attracts the young women and they have no idea under the sun who he is. He just gives off that fun, IDGAF vibe. I suppose the long hair doesn’t hurt though. He pony tails it while playing golf.

Although he has that IDGAF vibe, he is VERY friendly and polite. He’s got the mix down perfectly.

More and more I realize that attraction is far less about looks than it is about providing fun for those who are around you, detachment, and an air of leadership. I think it’s a bit easier for us older guys as these qualites develop over the decades. Fun times are ahead, young ones, if you follow that paradigm.

The trick, one on one, is to have your own energy lead every interaction. Very often we are in reactive mode even when we don’t think we are. We are allowing female energy to dominate as we react to it, as if we are swimmers in a current.

Flip the direction of energy flow and the magic starts to happen. You know what I always say... every interaction should be YOU judging THEM for suitability in your life.

All my life I have thought it was mostly about looks, and I couldn’t have been more wrong. It’s about attitude and energy flow. You should be the current she is forced to navigate and survive in, not the other way around. The energy of interactions should initiate from you.

Who is Alice Cooper for the win? ;'p

 

[Atom Smasher]

Lol yeah, but I didn’t want to spell it out. If he finds out I’ve been talking about that belly of his he might clock me over the head with his driver.

 

[Serenity]

Being seen with a good looking woman makes you attractive to the majority of women out there.

This may very well be true, but I don't give a sh!t about a woman whose only reason for being interested is me being seen with another woman. It still seems that a good looking woman can get a man to overlook things though...

 

[Papa_smu]

A man needs to be somewhat attractive for this to work or have an aura about him. You can’t just take a man who is a four in looks, place him with a female who is an 8 and assume hb 8’s are going to flock to him. Not going to happen. I have female friends who actually feel bad for the woman, “ why would she hang out with him, yuks” they def aren’t running over to him to find out what he is all about.

That's an excellent observation and the objection is logically sound. Of course, it's easy for us to identify the party pooper creepo no matter who he is with. It's obvious that the guy doesn't have a personality and you and I can agree that chick has some ulterior motives.

Although, when we look at it at the surface, we're missing the point. We don't have to be with an attractive woman to exploit preselection or social proof. You just have to create the illusion that you're with somebody and that somebody is attractive.

Hence, my example of approaching a 10 immediately upon entering the venue. She may shoot you down and give you the slip, but the other people in the venue won't know what's going on, they can't hear the conversation nor are they invested in every moment of what's going on between you and your set. For all they know, you're friends with that hot chick and you're just stopping by to say hi.

@BeExcellent 's story fits this paradox perfectly. She didn't have to have a relationship with the guy she was dancing with, Hell that guy could just be lucky and she wanted to dance with him for whatever reason. But those women who came out on the floor and wanted to dance with the guy? They don't know their relationship status.

 

[Trump]

A perfect example was when I met a woman awhile back. I was just looking for no strings attached sex. And somehow I lucked out and ran into a woman in my wavelength. But my game was wack and I when she asked me "What are you looking for?" I was about to say "I am looking for a woman I can date" just because I thought that's what all women wanted to hear. But even before I could get in my own way and c0ckblock myself, she interrupted me and said "I'm just looking for fun."

Come on bro, that’s a trap question.

Any answer to this question will be used against you in the future. Can’t believe you answered it.

That's when I realized that there are women in my demographic/wavelength and I don't have to put on a persona, run some type of game, or put up a front......or try to be some universally high status dude that appeals to all women in all walks of life. That's a fool's errand.

Surprised with your experience you are thinking that way.

If you said “I’m just looking for fun.” She would have said “I’m looking for a man I can date.” Their whole goal, aim, purpose, is to trip you up and make a fool out of you.

You cannot give women any ammunition to use against you.

Remember, it is not about what "women" want. There are too many different kinds of women out there. It's about who you are, what you have to offer, and whether or not you clearly project this image and broadcast it to the world without any distortion.

You are assuming what you project will get women.

I think it is about what women want, and you have to adapt accordingly.

 

[zekko]

Lol yeah, but I didn't want to spell it out.

Dammit, I wanted to guess Alice Cooper, but Rick beat me to it. I know that he golfs.

But it brings up a question I've been wondering about. Why is IDGAF considered attractive? I can see that not expecting anything from an interaction would be attractive. But IDGAF basically means you don't care about anything, why is that such a good thing?

 

[allancc3]

A man needs to be somewhat attractive for this to work or have an aura about him. You can’t just take a man who is a four in looks, place him with a female who is an 8 and assume hb 8’s are going to flock to him. Not going to happen. I have female friends who actually feel bad for the woman, “ why would she hang out with him, yuks” they def aren’t running over to him to find out what he is all about.

As I said before, the first post is just PUA fan fiction. It's some stupid sh1t which used to circulate as urban legend in pickup circles. Notice how OP has no specifics whatsoever. Weak trolling 101.

But yeah, being seen with a hot girl or even multiple hot girls isn't going to give access to unlimited hot pvssy. Girls love to have gay guy friends, disabled friends, etc. in order to prove how liberal and tolerant they are. That means these guys are surrounded by hot girls. They have no intention of fvcking these guys they've just been brainwashed to be liberal snowflakes.

Dammit, I wanted to guess Alice Cooper, but Rick beat me to it. I know that he golfs.

But it brings up a question I've been wondering about. Why is IDGAF considered attractive? I can see that not expecting anything from an interaction would be attractive. But IDGAF basically means you don't care about anything, why is that such a good thing?

It's not. It was PUA propaganda being circulated primarily by RSD. It went something like: "looks don't matter." "Just be confident." "Show confidence by having "IDGAF" attitude. Total gaslighting PUA bullsh1t.

 

[RickTheToad]

Dammit, I wanted to guess Alice Cooper, but Rick beat me to it. I know that he golfs.

But it brings up a question I've been wondering about. Why is IDGAF considered attractive? I can see that not expecting anything from an interaction would be attractive. But IDGAF basically means you don't care about anything, why is that such a good thing?

It makes you look like a reengage. You go against the norm. The ladies, in theroy, can find that attractive. In a world with soy boys, everyone is a winner, everyone is PC, that is a refreshing change. However, if it' not genuine, then it means little. So, in other words, if you are a foul mouthed IDGAF dude in public, but you are a pvssywhipped lady in control dude in private, then you do give a fvck to some people. At least, that's how I take it.

 

[RickTheToad]

Lol yeah, but I didn’t want to spell it out. If he finds out I’ve been talking about that belly of his he might clock me over the head with his driver.

Hope I'll not get another strike because of this...