Starting a business

[sharkbeat]

So I have finally gotten a chance to start a company. I am part excited because this is what I have always wanted, and part scared because of the unknown. In the past few years, I have been reading lots of business books because I knew eventually I would start my own, and this is it.

Going from the employee mentality to a business owner mentality is certainly a huge leap forward. As an employee, you are told what you need to do, and there's going to be somebody to tell you whether you did it right or wrong. As a business owner, you need to come up what you want to do, and nobody is going to tell you if you did it right or wrong.

To some of you business owners, could you share your stories how it was like to you when you first started? Was it sweat-equity-slept-in-a-car type of startup? Or was it handed-down to you by your father/uncle?

 

[Still_Skippin]

best of luck to you bro. getting something up and running in this economy is tough tough TOUGH.

 

[backbreaker]

it sounds cute, until you are actually sleeping in a mother****ing car with no food lol, then it sucks.

it takes a different kinda cat to run a business, from scratch. basically you are doing exactly what everyone is telilng you not to do. get in the habit of ignoring family members advise, the avg person is afraid of failure and being unsecure. be prepared to fall flat on your face a few times and have your family mebmers tell you I told you so. Be prepared to be viewed as unattractive about an opposite sex. all the women want the start up business success story but i haven't met one that was willing to be on the ohter end of the line when you were pulling 15 hours a day and having nothing to show for it.

i'm bored, i was going to get something to eat but my son doesnt' feel good so i have some time.

started my first busienss in 2002, august 30th 2002 to be exact. 200 bucks. to make a very long story as short as possible, 2 years of being dead broke, getting chased off by your family members, not getting first looks from the opposite sex, literalry, living in my car for a few months into i could save up enough money to get our first apartment, washing yourself at the libary or in wal mart becuase your mom won't let you in the house into you get a real job, budgeting 15 dollars for food for the week and somehow making it work, not buying yourself any clothes for 2 years, literarly walking around with dress shoes, only one pair, with a hole in them, gaiing 80 pounds becuse even though you aren't eating the food you are eating is **** and unhealthy, having no social life, being taken advantage of by older business people, more than once.

with that said, i would not change one thing i went through. not one. it made me who i am today, for better or for worse, i learned alot about myself, i learend alot about people, i learned hwat really is and what is not imoprtant, i learened that you know what, i don't need a woman to make me happy. funny enough even being broke..well not THAT time, but right before we really started making money, the time when we had our first apartmenet, and I had a few video games, had food in the pantry but still wasn't just balling or antyhing, was some of the happiest times in my life, not a woman within miles.

There was a day, a monday to be exact, that i knew that everything we had did had paid off. it's not like i woke up and had a million dollars in my bank account or anything but we just knew that we were not going to have any problem making sales anymore. in fact we had the opposite problem from then on out, we were growing way too fast. it's a good problem to have but it's a very serious problem.

there are some things you cannot undersatnd about human nature, unless you do something like start a business from scratch, or in the larger scheme of things, humble yourself to the bottom and work your way to the top. You learn about family and what's really important to them, you or the apparance of you doing well so they don't get it from their friends, you learn how women really think.. same guy then as i am now, which is why i don't pay 2 ****s of attention to most women, 99.9 of them were no where to be found when I was struggling. now that you lost some weight have an imporoved wardrobe and bank account you are now interesting and facanting, get the **** out of my face.


Be prepared to work your ass off and when i say your ass off, your ass smooth off. be preared to put your social life on the backburner. Be prepared to be tested like you have never been tested before. You will reach a point, maybe more than once that you really, just want to say **** it, what the **** do i have to do..


I know enough about what I went through that whatever i have when i get older, my son is going to have to start from scrach, just like i did. i will not make the mistake of handing him what should be earned.

My mother and I still don't raelly dont' talk much from **** that went down during that time period. Alot, alot of emotional damange was done. You learn alot. oh she will tell you now she's proud of her son, but during that time she called me every name in the book, a failure of a son who had no future, be prepared to get it, people who don't understand, to do great things you have to be willing to take great risks and be prepared to possibly fail.

But like i said, would not change one thing that happened. withotu going into details i do okay for myself, and you gave me the money i have now without going through what i have been though i would have not been as hungry as i still am, i would not be as humble as I am (while i do like nice things, i'm extremely down to earth, as i was once the guy working at best buy trying ot make ends meat. ) and i would not understand the value of money like i do now. **** still hunts me. I buy things i like, things i feel i earned and i want but i don't blow/waste money if that makes sense. id ont' buy **** just becuase i can.

But more than anything the entire experience made me face some of my greatest fears, living along, having my family basically disown me and be homeless. and you know what i'm still standing. That to me is worth more than any amount of money or any financial success than you can possibly have.


ironically this was the best thing i did for my game. not the money, but the confidence and the things i went through, it puts things in perspective. after you lived in a car, you know, approaching that women in the bar is not that scary anymore.

if you come out of it on top, you will be a changed man and wise beyond your years.

best of luck my man

 

[synergy1]

for what its worth i just left the last business I helped start, so take my advise knowing that.

My first venture started with the promise of more than was delivered. We were promised free rent, which turned out not to be the case. We were promised more infrastructure was in place, and this was not so. That said, the lack of trust within the partnership grew from these falsehoods; falsehoods put in place to entice the engineers (us) to actually do the work and relocate. So, what am I getting at with this mini rant? Who you chose to work/partner with will make or break your venture. If you are selecting a partner, do not ignore anything no matter how small because it will bite you in the ass eventually. I heard that the guy who was starting our company actually hit on my girlfriend when we all went out for my going away party just before I left.

I plan on having another go round at this and learning from mistakes. Remember, i am an engineer by trade so what i am doing might not be along the same lines as what you are doing. Here is my next plan of attack...

1 - get a job to further my expertise in the field i am interested in. General consumers are squeezed too much these days ,and will continue to be so I have decided to target the one industry that will always make money ( otherwise we are in the dark without them!). The Henry Ford approach is ideal since he got more knowledgeable at his job and created his design on his own time over the course of a number of years.

2- get the right business partners lined up. As mentioned, having the right partners is crucial, so I suspect it will be a small team or even solo if there are any doubts. I have a few in mind...

3- With the idea set to go, its time to do some due diligence, market research and write a business plan to pitch to investors. my focus will be on the value added, time/money saved for the client. one of my friends already has some mint ideas which would be easy to design for an engineer and would help a big industry if implemented. heck, I think a small infusion could get this off the ground, so it would be a pretty easy pitch to investors if we assume decent margin for non-commodity type products.

4- Time to talk to vendors, and line up interested parties for the first project. I would also try and contact the movers at potential clients and get my voice heard by the right people.

5- if they are interested, get signed agreements in order and start selling the product/ service. Not really sure how all this works out since I never got this far with any of our products at the last company. all we did was a list of deliverables which resulted in a schedule of payments.

My second go round will likely follow those steps, but revise them as required. I expect pitfalls, delays and *******s to stand in the way. Things will be less surprising for round #2. While my first venture in my mind was a failure, the experience was not. I hope this was somewhat helpful to you. I plan on following those steps myself and will likely reference this post later on!

good luck.

 

[Trader]

for what its worth i just left the last business I helped start, so take my advise knowing that.

My first venture started with the promise of more than was delivered. We were promised free rent, which turned out not to be the case. We were promised more infrastructure was in place, and this was not so. That said, the lack of trust within the partnership grew from these falsehoods; falsehoods put in place to entice the engineers (us) to actually do the work and relocate. So, what am I getting at with this mini rant? Who you chose to work/partner with will make or break your venture. If you are selecting a partner, do not ignore anything no matter how small because it will bite you in the ass eventually. I heard that the guy who was starting our company actually hit on my girlfriend when we all went out for my going away party just before I left.

It is rather amusing the anti-morality bias on SoSuave. Regardless of whether it is friendship, relationship, or business (like what you have gone through) morality is crucial. Partnering up with amoral people will only precipitate your own downfall.

It does not matter if said amoral person is talented, it resembles a gold ring in a pig's snout.

 

[synergy1]

It is rather amusing the anti-morality bias on SoSuave. Regardless of whether it is friendship, relationship, or business (like what you have gone through) morality is crucial. Partnering up with amoral people will only precipitate your own downfall.

It does not matter if said amoral person is talented, it resembles a gold ring in a pig's snout.

I don't really think this thread should be a drawn out discussion of morality because it is a subjective term. However, if you the business owner feel that a potential partner might not be moral in your book, its best to avoid that situation. Nothing good will come of it..people won't change.

In my case, the choice was obvious. he had no problem trying to hook up with my gf at the time with me at the same venue. Whats to say he wouldn't try again with another girlfriend, or more generally, try and screw me over any other number of ways. People who can't draw the line and control themselves have no place in my future as business partners for sure.

..oh yeah, he wasn't talented at all. Actually he was a rank amateur and we had to carry his ass through everything. I outlined this more in other posts on the same subject.

 

[Trader]

I don't really think this thread should be a drawn out discussion of morality because it is a subjective term. However, if you the business owner feel that a potential partner might not be moral in your book, its best to avoid that situation. Nothing good will come of it..people won't change. [/b]

There are some aspects of morality that are very clear-cut. For example: integrity - 'You do what you say.' In other words 'honesty.' Sure morality may appear to be grey, but like the US Supreme Court said when it comes to pornography: 'I know it when I see it.'

In my case, the choice was obvious. he had no problem trying to hook up with my gf at the time with me at the same venue. Whats to say he wouldn't try again with another girlfriend, or more generally, try and screw me over any other number of ways. People who can't draw the line and control themselves have no place in my future as business partners for sure.

Agreed, the fact that he tried to steal your gf is a huge red flag. People naively believe: 'If he is a liar and cheater when it comes to girls, who cares? That says nothing about who he is a business person.'

Nothing could be further from the truth.

..oh yeah, he wasn't talented at all. Actually he was a rank amateur and we had to carry his ass through everything. I outlined this more in other posts on the same subject.

Then he is a pig without even a gold ring.

 

[Alle_Gory]

Agreed, the fact that he tried to steal your gf is a huge red flag. People naively believe: 'If he is a liar and cheater when it comes to girls, who cares? That says nothing about who he is a business person.'

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Sometimes you have to use people for what they're good at. If this guy had any talent, use him for that, and watch him closely.
Such nice and moral people are HARD to find, and you never know who they are until something goes down. A test.

Morality aside, there's more to look at when you consider a business partner. When I started a summer business I made the mistake of doing it with a buddy of mine. Great guy, things went well for awhile and we made money, but the guy is an absolute machine. I couldn't keep up and he literally drove me into the ground. This guy rarely sleeps. Wakes up a 6 in the morning and goes to sleep at 2 most days. I couldn't handle the pace we were working at so we had to stop.

 

[backbreaker]

Sometimes you have to use people for what they're good at. If this guy had any talent, use him for that, and watch him closely.
Such nice and moral people are HARD to find, and you never know who they are until something goes down. A test.

Morality aside, there's more to look at when you consider a business partner. When I started a summer business I made the mistake of doing it with a buddy of mine. Great guy, things went well for awhile and we made money, but the guy is an absolute machine. I couldn't keep up and he literally drove me into the ground. This guy rarely sleeps. Wakes up a 6 in the morning and goes to sleep at 2 most days. I couldn't handle the pace we were working at so we had to stop.

that is a PROBLEM lol? what is this guys' number.


one of the most important things you will learn, is that the bigger you get, the more things you start to do, the more imprtant people you start dealing with, tomorrow is not a viable option.

You take 800 bucks form someone you build them a website. you aer tired, you go to sleep, you will finish tomorrow. not the bigget of deals if a deal at all.

You are trying to raise venture capatial and you have to put together an 80 page prospectus on your company by the end of the week, it needs to be done by the end of the week, and that's all there is to it. no one gives a **** if you have had any sleep or if your GF is tired of you working late or if your fav tv show is on. You are costing alot of people alot of money.

You take 10 grand form a client and you promise him you can build him a website that is 100% fuctional in 2 months, it needs to be done in 2 months, or he can sue for breech of contract. most wont but he could. You could end up paying all his legal fees, and money for damaages caused by your delay. These are things, youd ont' care about when you are wokring for someone. these aer the things that keep you up at night when you own the business. it's not all pretty


Most of all you learn about people. You learn that some people are just complete, total *******s.. and you know what, you still have to figure out how to work with them, ******* or not. I've developed the ability to just completely shut "it" down, by it i mean my emotions. my fiancee can tell when i've gone in this mode with her and will tell me to stop treating her like a client lol. Some clients think that becuase they pay you, they have the right to talk to you any type of way. You learn how to deal with people like that.

It took me a very long time to learn how to leave my work at work. That is important as well for longevity. I will work my ass off, but when i shut it down, i shut it down now and i'm not bothered. i'm not out at the resturant checking emails, I have 2 phones, a personal and a business one and when i shut the business one down it's off.


A talanted guy that has no business sense or lack of morals is like a HB9 with daddy issues and low self esteem. you are sucked in by the looks and you a re burned by the brain. I'ved worked with many a talanted children when it was all said and done.


And you could not pay me to work side by side, as a business owner with a woman. **** that. I could write a 3 page horry story on my dealings with just women clients.


My first business parnter and i did not really like each other. i don't think eh did not like me as much as he envyed me. i was better looking and had it easier with the opposite sex (thanks to this site). He resented that i had a social life outside of work (Eventually), and i think he resentred the fact that i was just more imagaintive than he was. he had a stronger work ethic than i did and we made a killer team, we both knew it was in our best interest to keep each other around, but we weren't best friends by any stretch. i can count on one hand the times we went out to eat together in 3 years.

My old business partner is the only person i know that would be happy for me to call him at 3am and ask him could we do some work. he was down for whatever when it came to work. you need people like that.

i remember one time, we had rented out this building for our company, it was an old day spa but they never took the jaccuazi out of the place for some reason, worked and everyting. i met this girl at a bar, she was all over me, it was a wedneday night, i lived in an apartment, nice apartment but i wanted to impress her, so i took her to the office so we could take a dip. it had to be 2am, and low and behold my business partner was there working. I had to make up some **** about me leaving some stuff i needed for work at the office lol

 

[synergy1]

It took me a very long time to learn how to leave my work at work. That is important as well for longevity. I will work my ass off, but when i shut it down, i shut it down now and i'm not bothered. i'm not out at the resturant checking emails, I have 2 phones, a personal and a business one and when i shut the business one down it's off.

This was another thing that drove me away from the venture was that the owner never turned it off. Why? Because he didn't do any of the work and still wanted to be involved and it was the only way he knew how. Since I had worked in industry for a while, I knew how to finish something to the point where I could take a mental break, but I didn't ever get that mental break since I was living with the other two owners. It was tiring day in and day out living in a small room having them come in and out of my room (sometimes at 2am) just to use the computer - most of the time not even for work!!!!

I think the ability to turn it off will be crucial down the road as you said. But when a deadline is at hand, a deliverable, the 'whatever it takes' attitude needs to be prevalent. Our primary owner didn't have this and continually found excuses for why he would sleep through meetings, do crappy work on documents and the like. yes he slept through several meetings with clients. When confronted, he would say that its all in the past and we need to move forward and work as a team. By team he ment passing the work to me and the other engineer while he drove into town and smoked pot all day.

Reading your guys' posts really makes me appreciate just how difficult it is to find the right business partners. People seem so F**ed up once you get to know them..it seems difficult to find someone who can really put it all together. Hopefully folks in this situation will continue to post on this forum so that the rest of us noobs can learn how to find the right people to associate with.

Morality aside, there's more to look at when you consider a business partner. When I started a summer business I made the mistake of doing it with a buddy of mine. Great guy, things went well for awhile and we made money, but the guy is an absolute machine. I couldn't keep up and he literally drove me into the ground. This guy rarely sleeps. Wakes up a 6 in the morning and goes to sleep at 2 most days. I couldn't handle the pace we were working at so we had to stop.

you described myself and the other engineer pretty well with this. This was the kind of **** I had to do in undergrad just to pass classes, so its not all that unusual for us. Actually when your on the right path, I love it. Throw on some trance, break out matlab/ a report and DO SOME WORK! When your done, the sense of accomplishment is almost a high...

that being said, if this guy is a practitioner in the engineering field and wants a job down the road, feel free to pass his info this way

 

[Alle_Gory]

that is a PROBLEM lol?

He's a little too high strung to be a good business partner, but if I ever need an operations manager when I get things working out...

Or maybe it's just my problem. Either way, I can't work with him for too long or keep up to his pace. He wants to get sh*t done, I want to get sh*t done right. It works well for clients, but when were planning things like advertising and money management he just stresses me out because he has no patience for them. Some things can't be rushed.

 

[sharkbeat]

Wow, backbreaker, that's an epic story. When you are at your worst, then you can see what people are really about, and who your real friends are. Congratulations in making it out alive and successful.

I have yet formed the company. I am still doing more research about the business forms and paperwork that needs to be done. Man, it is a lot of stuff. But you gotta do what you gotta do.

I am forming this business with friend who maintains the important contact. Personality wise, I am the complete opposite of him. Everytime I talked to him, he always misunderstands what I said, and vice versa. It's like we are not operating on the same wave pattern. Too many arguments over stupid little things. Last night, we had a small argument about the company's vision. I was like, "Yeah, I agree with you." But somehow this answer was not enough for him that he thought I didn't understand him, so he continued on blabbering about it and brought up a few points which I didn't agree about (but has nothing to do with the original company's vision), and then he thought I didn't understand the company vision. Ah, stupid stuff.

Anyway, this itself is already a redflag, but I am willing to give this out a try because I don't want to be picky.

 

[SamePendo]

I don't want to be picky.

You don't get picky when buying a $1 meal.
You don't get picky when buying a toenail clipper.
You don't get picky with a hair brush.
You don't get picky when choosing a bottle of watter.
You don't get picky with what you wear to see your best friend.
You don't get picky with seats on a tennis match (you'll sleep anyway).

"Picky" should be an understatement when it comes to selecting your business partner.

It's like getting married to a masochistic, 40 year old, coke head woman who has had 4 divorces and has gotten more than 50% off every marriage, while you, at the time, own ferraris, a mansion in each continent, and lots of stock. 2 + 2 = 4.

 

[Alle_Gory]

I have yet formed the company. I am still doing more research about the business forms and paperwork that needs to be done. Man, it is a lot of stuff. But you gotta do what you gotta do.

Yeah its VERY easy to get lost in the madness, and I'm going to school for this! I should know this, but there's just SO MUCH.

There's a few ways I found to cut through the chaos. First, have a plan. It doesn't have to be perfect, just put down some goals you want to reach, then figure out how you're gonna do that.

I also keep a journal, just for business. It really helps me to write things down. What sounds like a good idea in my head, doesn't sound so good on paper, and sometimes the other way around. It helps me organize and analyze my thoughts better and helps get that clarity about what's really important.

Some things to think about, maybe you can use them.

 

[backbreaker]

i would never work with a close friend or family member. you will have a falling out, if you take your job serious. my two old best friends are musicians, and what started our falling out is i guess that they just assumed i was going to give them money to find their business ventures once i had some. i love them to death, to this day, which is why i wouldn't. they never would understand. if i give you money i expected a return of my investment and i'm going to get in your ass, friend or not which would make the relationship sour.

irnocally enough we parted ways anyway. they were there with me througbh the hard times for the most part. they were the only people who wanted anything to do with me when i was broke. oddly enough, when i started saying no to them, no you can't have this, no you can't half that, no you can't just pop up in my apartment every ****ing day, i have a social life now, no you can't drive my car...we just faeded apart.

 

[backbreaker]

here is a true story, the types of things you have to deal with.

i get a client, about 2 months ago. guy is a total *******, but i deal with ass holes, their money is green too. anyway, we build him a site, or start building it, first flag ist hat we have/had (i sold the compnay since i got the client) a very strict way we do feedback that he just refuses to follow. he wants to call me and talk to me for an hour a day about small ass changes. is hould have dropped him then. but i didn't.

okay, the guy will not do what we are asking which makes it impossible for my grahpic guy to move forward. to add, the guy has a negetitive 50 when it comes to web expertise, and bosses people around like he knows all.

anyway, the guy is not satisfied with the progress of the work being made and wants to move on. i say okay no problem. i zip him the files to what we have done and tell him to find someone else to finish.

no, that's not enough, he wants all his money back for the work we done and the files. i say **** off.

so he then goes and lies to an attoreny and says quote "i paid them for a project, they never did it, they ran off with my money".

now, the 700 bucks which he paid i **** off more money then that, i dont' give a **** about the money, it's the principel of the matter. you dont' turn a profit doing work for free. and we did work. we were about 60% done with the site, yet he thinks that he is entitled to get all this for free.

so now i hae two choices. i can 1. send him his ****ing 700 back and tell him to get lost, or 2. spend a full day gathering 2 months worth fo correspondence, screen shots, phone records from him calling me to send to my attorney (i keep one on retainer), and keep dealing with this guy.

this guy nkows he's trying to get over, and quite honestly the 700 dollars is not worth it to me. at the end i saw the red flags iwth this guy and i still moved forward. chuck the 700 bucks and call it a day.

no, it's not fair. at all. but it's life. I am not even mad at the guy, he's being him. i should have saw it. i am mad at myself for not paying closer attention.


you get into business you have to get past the TV version of what isw right and what is wrong. business world does not work like that.

 

[Warrior74]

I'm in the process myself. I have a day job and work all night on my business. I live off caffine and 5 hour energy. Deadlines have to be met, money has to be put aside for taxes and reinvested in to marketing and equipment, very little of what I earn flowed into my pocket for the first few months. Now I'm reaching the point of gaining a steady clientele and streamlining my workflow. I'm looking at subcontracting and freelancers with an eye on hiring an employee or two in the next year. Once I get my personal finances sorted out and I see a track records of success, I'll let go of the safety net of my day job, but as I support my daughter I can't do that yet.

 

[dj_china]

here is a true story, the types of things you have to deal with.

i get a client, about 2 months ago. guy is a total *******, but i deal with ass holes, their money is green too. anyway, we build him a site, or start building it, first flag ist hat we have/had (i sold the compnay since i got the client) a very strict way we do feedback that he just refuses to follow. he wants to call me and talk to me for an hour a day about small ass changes. is hould have dropped him then. but i didn't.

okay, the guy will not do what we are asking which makes it impossible for my grahpic guy to move forward. to add, the guy has a negetitive 50 when it comes to web expertise, and bosses people around like he knows all.

anyway, the guy is not satisfied with the progress of the work being made and wants to move on. i say okay no problem. i zip him the files to what we have done and tell him to find someone else to finish.

no, that's not enough, he wants all his money back for the work we done and the files. i say **** off.

so he then goes and lies to an attoreny and says quote "i paid them for a project, they never did it, they ran off with my money".

now, the 700 bucks which he paid i **** off more money then that, i dont' give a **** about the money, it's the principel of the matter. you dont' turn a profit doing work for free. and we did work. we were about 60% done with the site, yet he thinks that he is entitled to get all this for free.

so now i hae two choices. i can 1. send him his ****ing 700 back and tell him to get lost, or 2. spend a full day gathering 2 months worth fo correspondence, screen shots, phone records from him calling me to send to my attorney (i keep one on retainer), and keep dealing with this guy.

this guy nkows he's trying to get over, and quite honestly the 700 dollars is not worth it to me. at the end i saw the red flags iwth this guy and i still moved forward. chuck the 700 bucks and call it a day.

no, it's not fair. at all. but it's life. I am not even mad at the guy, he's being him. i should have saw it. i am mad at myself for not paying closer attention.


you get into business you have to get past the TV version of what isw right and what is wrong. business world does not work like that.

wow I'm really impressed. it has to take a lot to set aside ego and actually do this. sure $700 is not worth it, but being able to look beyond the ridiculousness of the issue is admirable. I have to try to remember this when I ever let my ego get in the way of rational action.

 

[Trader]

this guy nkows he's trying to get over, and quite honestly the 700 dollars is not worth it to me. at the end i saw the red flags iwth this guy and i still moved forward. chuck the 700 bucks and call it a day.

no, it's not fair. at all. but it's life. I am not even mad at the guy, he's being him. i should have saw it. i am mad at myself for not paying closer attention.


you get into business you have to get past the TV version of what isw right and what is wrong. business world does not work like that.

To be able to read the character of prospective business partners and clients is so crucial.

I bet there have been some positive spillover effects from your experiences in business onto your romantic relationships because you have learned how to read people.

 

[backbreaker]

yep.

I have first and foremost learned to trust my gut. i'm hardly wrong when it comes to people and character. my first business, not so much, because i dealt with banks all day for the most part and made sure pc's got shipped on time, but this one, my people skills are honed to a T.

i knew this guy was trouble literary within 10 minutes of talking to him. it just did not add up. there is a certain way a client is supposed to act when i do X and when you don't do Y red flags go up. I DON'T CARE what bs excuse you give me it's an issue.

but i wanted to hit a certain financial goal and the guy wanted to move forward just at the right time so i went ahead with it.

two thigns i've learned 1. how to take the emotion out the equation. my project manager for instance is the polar opposite of me, he will cry and throw **** and talk about how it's not fair we did this or did that and he's being this or doing that, like a little ***** basically. At the end of the day, this is reality. this is what really happened, now you can sit there and cry about what's right or wrong or you can deal with reality.

every woman you met is not going to treat you fair. you aren't going to get every advantage in life. i don't' have the biggest **** on earth to be honest, i'm not small or anything but i'm not jake steed or anything, if a woman has a problem with my **** size, okay. what the hell am i supposed to do about that.

a real life example, two, would be 1. the woman who tried to say i raped her because i told her in so many words i was off the market and wasn't interested and even if i was ont hem arket, i still would not be interested because you are bat**** crazy. then she went and did what a bat**** crazy woman does to prove my point. i did not go on a tirade or cry, i just removed my self from the situation. what she did was very ****ed up and i did not want to touch my gF for about a month because of it. she had to be patient with me. that shook me up. But you deal with it and move on. Then there was my old assistant who wanted to **** me and got mad when i made it known i wasn't stepping out of my relationship and started talking **** about me to mutual friends. I looked at what i did wrong and while my intentions were not there to do anything, I come off as flirty and available beucase i'm nice and outgoing (believe it or not). women mistake this for intrest usually and it's not. when i'm interested in a woman i'm blunt and to the point. she thought becuase i took her to the gym with me and went out to eat a fewt imes that i wanted to **** her and that was not the case. even though i did nothing wrong, you deal with it.

business has taught me to deal with reality and not what i think is right and what is wrong.

it's not even so much reading people, but acting when you need to. like for instance, the bat**** crazy woman told me that she had tried to kill herself like 5 months earlier. see, at that point, i don't need to read you, you are ****ing crazy. exit the situation and i didn't. so in reality i have no one to blame but me. i saw it, clear as day and kept her around. why, honestly i don't know. i honestly, did not want antyhnig with her, but i guess i called myself trying to help someone out.

when a client says he is going to do something 3-4 times and keeps delaying ACT. i don't need to be a mind reader to see that something is wrong, things aren't adding up.
it's like the girl who keeps going out with her guy friends, but they are just friends. really? seriously? do you need to be a mind reader to handle this one? I don't need to read you to see that you like attention from men and that i probably need to move on.