Starring at girls or just people when walking???

[Reyaj]

Ok this is going to sound like a stupid question but it is something I am having trouble with.

We all know that if you stare at a girl they get freaked out.

Yet eye contact is important.


So when you are walking down either a street, a long hall way or anywhere and an attractive girl is coming your way, what do you do?


Do you stare at her the whole way and when you get close to each other smile? Or do you not look at her until you are close and then look and smile?

I seem to be having this akward problem and it leads to me just being intimidated especially when she is really hot!

 

[spider_007]

directly at her crouch

 

[Caldus]

I say after staring at her for a few seconds, smile briefly so that you don't come across as a creep.

 

[ARK]

Give her eye contact when she can tell your looking and smiling at her. In other words, don't look at her until you can see the whites of her eyes.

 

[PoloBlue]

I dont make direct eye contact, I look past her, so I dont appear to be starring.

 

[h2o]

naw, it's not really a stupid question...you're just facing your fears...that's a good thing. when i just started out with cold approaches, i had the same problem, mostly because i was pretty nervous/fearful.

when they are like 20-30ft away, i look at them, and it doesn't really matter how long this is. maybe until they're like 10 feet away i'll look away, but still i'm walking, so they're still in view, though not directly. from this point on, if they look at me, then i'll make eyecontact with them.

you don't have to smile, but if you do lock eyes with an attractive girl, i'd say at least have a facial expression that is natural/relaxed/receptive.

i'm not saying do this exactly, you'll figure it out and as you become more comfortable, you won't even conciously think about it when it's happening.

btw, try to hold eyecontact like a tenth of a second longer than the other person, and look away after they do...it's just a good exercise that helped me.

another thing i was nervous/scared about was just checking girls out in social/public places...i was scared of what people would think...like i'm probably sleazy and desperate, etc...but mostly i did because i wanted to overcome what people thought, and that helped a lot.

some may argue against this, i know, but my point is doing everything you fear.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Learn the difference between admiring and leering.

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

You'll find out that many women are insecure, at least, when it comes to eye contact. Go walk down the hall way at work and watch how many women turn their head or body away from your direction. Some women will say HI, others might give you a *****y look like whats wrong with you. Fat girls always look away and shift their body towards the wall furthest away from you, it is funny, because it looks like they might run into the wall. I think that EC is a good way to display certain emotions.

 

[Reyaj]

Good points everyone..

I mean I guess my whole question is when do I make eye contact and hold it?

Like If I'm at work and I'm walking straight forward, and there is a girl like 20 feet away, I have found that starring at her the whole time does freak them out. Same thing in public places. I guess the smile is key.

So I guess a good rule of thumb is, when you see the whites of their eyes, smile?

I definitely want to hear more posts on this.

And also if you are walking and there is a hot girl on the side of you, do you turn your head and smile?

I usually just keep walking straight cause it looks to obvious you are checking her out.

 

[Mjfan12]

Originally posted by Jayer
Good points everyone..

I mean I guess my whole question is when do I make eye contact and hold it?

Like If I'm at work and I'm walking straight forward, and there is a girl like 20 feet away, I have found that starring at her the whole time does freak them out. Same thing in public places. I guess the smile is key.

So I guess a good rule of thumb is, when you see the whites of their eyes, smile?

I definitely want to hear more posts on this.

And also if you are walking and there is a hot girl on the side of you, do you turn your head and smile?

I usually just keep walking straight cause it looks to obvious you are checking her out.

Dude who cares if people think you're checking her out?

I check girls out all the time and I dont care what anyone thinks.

 

[PeoplesChamp]

I don't think it can really be posited any better than combining H2o's advice with Mjfan12. The object is to make it longer than her to show security, interested and status. After that I would say look past but keep her face in your peripheral vision so that you can catch the look back/double take. I keep meaning to do a "social experiment" with winking (ever notice nobody winks anymore what is that all about?). Beyond that don't give a sh!t. it's your reality, women are just squirrels trying to get a nut...

 

[Reyaj]

true true

 

[Heyjose25points]

Now that you mention winking, i'll try that. Haha.

 

[Reyaj]

still need help here...

iS the point to just stare at someone until they look away... when they are approaching you?

 

[h2o]

i think the best advice, although it may be the toughest advice to follow...is to not think about it.

you know it's funny because today as i was approaching the stairs in the library, this cutie was approaching the stairs too. we sort of walked towards each other and made eyecontact. short story, ended up walking with her for a bit and setup a date for next week.

point being, don't take it so mechanically. if things happen, they happen. just let go of this 'having to do things a certain way.'

there have been hundreds of other times i've 'made eyecontact' with girls next to that same staircase...but nothing happened.

just look at her when you are at a comortable distance. you will know what this is. if you can "feel" it, you'll know what to do from there.

but, don't even make it a big deal to try making eyecontact with women you walk by. women who are sitting down are much more approachable.

if you feel comfortable staring everyone down, then do it. you'll be able to tell from the reactions you get how comfortable you feel.

you won't get anywhere just pondering the way to do it...hate to sound cliche, but just do it. just go out there, go stare people down and get your ass kicked from staring too much. or get dirty looks from girls. who cares...learn from making mistakes...i'd say that's the only way.

after that it you won't think about it again.

 

[Freddy1]

Theres a difference between staring and glancing. Glancing is brief.

 

[Freddy1]

Originally posted by Jayer
still need help here...

iS the point to just stare at someone until they look away... when they are approaching you?

No! This is easily interperted as hostility.

Glance but not stare.

 

[raykingofchina]

i noticed the same things too (a lot of the stuff that was mentioned above)

and from my experience it kind of went like this for me:

1. afraid to look at girls because thought they would know i was checking them out.

2. thought some girls thought they were so hot, so i'm going to PURPOSELY not look at them so that they would notice I'm not looking at them.

3. realized that this was kind of dumb because first, i dont get to check out any girls, second, i dont get to see if any girls are checking me out... I'm just kind of in my own world.

4. So I started doing things as I wanted and looking at whatever I wanted. I would look at people, they would look back, I would keep looking instead of looking away. (I guess most of us were taught that it was impolite to stare, eventually it became a habit to not let others know you were looking)

of course some would say there's a difference between looking and staring, but we all know how that discussion would proceed.

5. eventually i came to, so now i can look at whatever girl i want. it feels good to conquer that stupid fear of JUST LOOKING at people. Realized, it was just in my head (some people really stare though and it's weird).

6. THen i finally concluded, who cares if i can just look but can't touch?

So my point is, just walk around lookin at everyone, you'll soon realize it's not a big deal and that most people don't realize. They're all thinking what we used to think before.

Good luck!

 

[mrRuckus]

Originally posted by raykingofchina
i noticed the same things too (a lot of the stuff that was mentioned above)

3. realized that this was kind of dumb because first, i dont get to check out any girls, second, i dont get to see if any girls are checking me out... I'm just kind of in my own world.


never in my life have i noticed a girl checking me out. i must be completely freakin oblivious.

i'll have other people tell me "hey that girl is checking you out" but for the life of me i can never pick it up on my own.

"how do you know?"
'duh it's obvious'
"?!"

 

[mrRuckus]

Originally posted by raykingofchina
i noticed the same things too (a lot of the stuff that was mentioned above)

3. realized that this was kind of dumb because first, i dont get to check out any girls, second, i dont get to see if any girls are checking me out... I'm just kind of in my own world.

never in my life have i noticed a girl checking me out. i must be completely freakin oblivious.

i'll have other people tell me "hey that girl is checking you out" but for the life of me i can never pick it up on my own.

"how do you know?"
'duh it's obvious'
"?!"