Starbucks: The biggest **** blocker in america

[Fly By Night]

I just don't like the dullness if it. Even asking a girl out for coffee just sounds way too outplayed. I see it in the movies, in TV shows, it's like dating can only happen inside a coffee shop.

I think a cool date would be to take a girl on a 1 on 1 basketball game around the afternoon so you guys would finish at sunset.

 

[Zarky]

If a chick suggests coffee for a first date or "downgrades" my drinks-at-a-bar first date to coffee, it's an instant next.

I've only ever banged one chick I went on a coffee first-date with, and the only reason we went there was because she was an alcoholic. Great body though. Runner.

 

[zinc4]

Coffee first date can be good as long as it's your idea because quite frankly, it's cheap...i agree if she balks at dinner plans and opts for coffee instead, that sends instant red flags as a waste of time for me for me...

 

[Zarky]

Start simple and ... if they deserve it — move up.

I agree that you shouldn't pay for more than drinks and maybe a plate of hors d'oeuvre on a first date, but for christ f*ck, it's harder to get a chick from a coffee shop into bed than from a bar into bed. And, that's a big test for me. It's not the monetary expense it's the expense of blowing a night (or even an afternoon hour) entertaining some broad without even the hope of getting her clothes off. That simply will not get me out the door when I could go over to one of my chicks' places and bang right now.

I say lose the coffee dates, lose the dinner dates, definitely lose the movies... take them out for drinks at a lounge or a quiet bar/pub or maybe a restaurant where you're at a casual table having a small plate (not a full-blown dinner). Then ideally you'll bounce them to a hipper, louder place where you can drink more and maybe get your groove on or whatever, or just have an excuse to get closer so you can hear each other. And then back to her or your place.

C'mon guys, first dates are like clockwork. They have a fairly common progression which should start out with drinks and should end with you blowing your load on her tits.

 

[backbreaker]

I agree that you shouldn't pay for more than drinks and maybe a plate of hors d'oeuvre on a first date, but for christ f*ck, it's harder to get a chick from a coffee shop into bed than from a bar into bed. And, that's a big test for me. It's not the monetary expense it's the expense of blowing a night (or even an afternoon hour) entertaining some broad without even the hope of getting her clothes off. That simply will not get me out the door when I could go over to one of my chicks' places and bang right now.

I say lose the coffee dates, lose the dinner dates, definitely lose the movies... take them out for drinks at a lounge or a quiet bar/pub or maybe a restaurant where you're at a casual table having a small plate (not a full-blown dinner). Then ideally you'll bounce them to a hipper, louder place where you can drink more and maybe get your groove on or whatever, or just have an excuse to get closer so you can hear each other. And then back to her or your place.

C'mon guys, first dates are like clockwork. They have a fairly common progression which should start out with drinks and should end with you blowing your load on her tits.

this. zarky you and i woudl have made a great tag team when i was single we think just a like.

the thing about coffee dates, not talking about starbucks now just coffee in general is.. I mean ****. .. where the **** do you go from there?

how can i put this. it's a softer/easier sale but it's a harder conversion. in other words, a girl is more likely to say yeah to coffee, but she's less likely to say yeah to coming to your place later that night or doing anything other than coffee on the 2nd or third date.

whereas yeah if you take a girl to the freaking..zoo on the first date.. yeah there is a good chance she might not like it or you, but if you can make out with her at the zoo **** you are home free. you can probably **** her at the zoo lol.

think of the first date- second date as a pivot move so to speak. action dates have natural pivots to 2nd dates. coffee does not. you can't pivot.. well not can't but ****.. you are making your job much harder to pivot from the first to the 2nd date and if you do you are more likely going to get her to agree to taking you to an actual restaurant versus a real date.

what Zarky and I are saying i don't so much care about impressing a girl or talking to her as much as I care about screening a girl for real interest. A girl can sit there and talk to you for an hour and not be interested in ****ing you. i want to know, as quickly as possible if we are gonna **** or not beucase if we aren't no offense hun but i need to go find a broad that's gonna give me some ass. I'm interested in "get to the ****ing point" dates only. Beach, bars, **** i like to do, zoo, **** the horse track at times.. because a girl who is into you will do some **** she doesn't' want to do to see / get to know you. In turn, my conversion rate on girls who i went on 2nd dates with and beyond was probably somewher around 80-90%. if i got a 2nd date wtih a girl i was gonna ****. it wasn't a matter of if it was a matter of when. lol i'm like jiffy lube.. i want to know if i'm going to **** in 30 minutes or less.

i've said this plenty of times but i took my wife to the beach on our first date. everyone asks me well how did you know she liked you. **** she was all over me and she was all over me beucase we were both half naked lol. there was no question in my mind what to do for a 2nd date after the first date.

 

[zinc4]

I agree that you shouldn't pay for more than drinks and maybe a plate of hors d'oeuvre on a first date, but for christ f*ck, it's harder to get a chick from a coffee shop into bed than from a bar into bed. And, that's a big test for me. It's not the monetary expense it's the expense of blowing a night (or even an afternoon hour) entertaining some broad without even the hope of getting her clothes off. That simply will not get me out the door when I could go over to one of my chicks' places and bang right now.

I say lose the coffee dates, lose the dinner dates, definitely lose the movies... take them out for drinks at a lounge or a quiet bar/pub or maybe a restaurant where you're at a casual table having a small plate (not a full-blown dinner). Then ideally you'll bounce them to a hipper, louder place where you can drink more and maybe get your groove on or whatever, or just have an excuse to get closer so you can hear each other. And then back to her or your place.

C'mon guys, first dates are like clockwork. They have a fairly common progression which should start out with drinks and should end with you blowing your load on her tits.

That's why you take them for coffee followed by a walk outside in a nearby park or somewhere escalate there into kissing and then go for the movie back at your place.

 

[backbreaker]

That's why you take them for coffee followed by a walk outside in a nearby park or somewhere escalate there into kissing and then go for the movie back at your place.

if a woman is open to going for a walk with you she was open to an action date int eh first place. you aren't escalating **** that wasn't there in the first place.

lol now you guys are just twisting words to try to be "right". you can't have it both ways; you can't be soo busy as to where all you have time to do is go to coffee yet have time after coffee to take the girl to the park lol.

 

[cordoncordon]

I agree that you shouldn't pay for more than drinks and maybe a plate of hors d'oeuvre on a first date, but for christ f*ck, it's harder to get a chick from a coffee shop into bed than from a bar into bed. And, that's a big test for me. It's not the monetary expense it's the expense of blowing a night (or even an afternoon hour) entertaining some broad without even the hope of getting her clothes off. That simply will not get me out the door when I could go over to one of my chicks' places and bang right now.

I say lose the coffee dates, lose the dinner dates, definitely lose the movies... take them out for drinks at a lounge or a quiet bar/pub or maybe a restaurant where you're at a casual table having a small plate (not a full-blown dinner). Then ideally you'll bounce them to a hipper, louder place where you can drink more and maybe get your groove on or whatever, or just have an excuse to get closer so you can hear each other. And then back to her or your place.

C'mon guys, first dates are like clockwork. They have a fairly common progression which should start out with drinks and should end with you blowing your load on her tits.

Exactly. When I was single, it wasn't the monetary loss for me, taking a girl to a coffee shop. It's the waste of an hour or more of my time, having to sit there and talk to a girl, when I could be doing much better things, all while having next to no shot to sex her that day. Who needs it?

I would much rather go out at night, to a lounge or bar, in a much better atmosphere, drinking adult beverages, knowing the chance for sexing is way higher.

 

[backbreaker]

I fail to see what the argument here is. Backbreaker, when you first posted this thread I thought it was almost a troll thread done out of boredom.

You say starbucks or any coffee shop is a bad way to go for a date, and it's not a good way to get laid.

A lot of other guys in this thread, including me, disagree from experience. Like I said in a previous post, I have banged lots of girls that started off at a first date over coffee. Some guys don't like chatting over coffee, which is cool. If it doesn't work for you don't do it. It works for me and lots of others, so we will continue to do it.

I'm kinda surprised this thread has gone on for 3 pages all it is is zarky, cordon, and backbreaker saying you guys don't like coffee shop dates. Ok cool, the rest of us disagree.

you don't get what i am saying whatsoever. I don't mean that in a combative way but you don't get what i'm trying to say.

first of all, my post isn't a troll nor is it about coffee shops, it's about starbucks. you are failing to see the connect i'm trying to make with starbucks. there are people who enjoy going out for coffee, and then there are people who like to be seen at starbucks. it's not necessarily one in the same crowd. until you get that or understand that this is what i'm trying to say the rest of my point is moot. '

it's like saying, there are people who go to the super bowl because they like good football and then there are people who go tot he super bowl beucse it's the super bowl and they want to be seen. that's the best way I can put it.

running with that analogy for a second, let's say you weren't trying to game women but trying to convert a girl into being a football fan. Taking her to the super bowl isn't going to do you any good beucase she's not interested in the least bit in the football in the first place, that's not why she's there. she's there to be seen and beucse ti's the super bowl and that's what cool people do they go to the super bowl.

secondly, lol you act like i've been married ye ntire duration on this forum. i've been single, for a vastly superior amount of time on this forum than i've been married. you arne't the only guy with experience. out of all the girl's ive dated, the ONE that i ended up screwing that i met/took to starbucks woudl have ****ed me if i met her at a rock concert or a library she was very very much into me from the second she saw me. **** she approached me.

n short this is what i am trying tos ay brad. I don't doubt you have had a **** load of success at coffee shops. i don't doubt it for a second. but having success at coffee shops and contributing that success TO coffee shops are not one in the same. The coffee shops aren't doing anything to make your game any easier, you are ****ing these broads in spite of your surroundings which mean is a kudoes to you and a tip of the that, but that doesn't still validate your point that coffee shops HELP your game.

that's what i'm trying to say. you would have ****ed those girls, quicker, easier and probably with less work had you met them/gamed them in a different environment.

 

[Zarky]

A lot of other guys in this thread, including me, disagree from experience. Like I said in a previous post, I have banged lots of girls that started off at a first date over coffee. Some guys don't like chatting over coffee, which is cool. If it doesn't work for you don't do it. It works for me and lots of others, so we will continue to do it.

If it works for you then continue to do it. But lots of guys do it and it doesn't work for them. I know one guy personally who's caught in the coffee-shop-date rut.

The only upside I see to coffee dates is that the caffeine high may alter your states so you like each other more. I don't discount this.

I always think guys should have a "niche" where they pick up girls (and seduce girls) in a way that's pretty much the same over and over and over.

It's like your specialty in a chosen career. If you're a heart surgeon you don't suddenly start doing pediatrics. and then OBGYN, and then plastic surgery. You work your way into the niche -- usually by accident -- and find that that niche is the easiest and most efficient way to get lays. It plays to your strengths and once you get into it you can confidently turn out lay after lay if that's your thing. And also, since you've been in that situation before you're more secure and you give out a confident vibe, meaning your chances for laying any particular woman are also increased.

I did this back when I lived in a place near the beach. I'd take b*tches to the same wine bar, order the same goddamn wine and appetizer each time, take them for a walk down the same path on the beach, make out with them in the same spot, and take them via the same route back to my place. Over and over, all through the summer. I could do it with my eyes closed and when a new woman got into that groove with me I was utterly confident that I was going to get laid, and I did.

If the coffee shop vibe works for you then great. I just think it's a harder niche for most guys to really achieve success with. And it doesn't really qualify the chick which is vitally important IMHO. Any chick with low interest level and absolutely no interest in ever boning you will be happy to go on a coffee date or a dozen. It's low investment. As I said the only interesting thing is the caffeine rush that might alter her state in a way that could be taken advantage of somehow, perhaps?

So I don't think OP is saying everyone should do it his way, he's just saying that from his experience there are more optimal niches to find and is challenging others to make a logical argument as to how a coffee date would be better than, say, a drinks date, for most guys.

 

[muscleman]

I can't think of a better place to go for an initial meeting than a simple 1 hour coffee date at starbucks.

1. You concentrate on each other and not on a plate of rice or a steak.
2. You talk to the real person and not a woman who hides her true face behind alcohol.
3. You don’t come across as an AFC who has to pay to be with a woman or entertain her like some kind of circus clown.
4. You show your dominance by controlling the situation without coming across as controlling.
5. You find out much faster whether or not there is chemistry between two of you.

Plus you get an extra bonus — if she seems unhappy about such a "cheap" date — you get to see and lose the b*tch early on without wasting too much time on her.

Save the scuba-diving, mini-golf, and rock-climbing for later. Start simple and ... if they deserve it — move up.

I can think of one: a 1 hour date at a BAR.

Same price (I usually get the first round, she offers to get the second, so it's still halfsies).

Darker, more laid back, more comfortable atmosphere.

Caffeine = stimulant.
Alcohol = depressant (and panty dropper).

Pretty simple choice (again, if you have the option).

 

[backbreaker]

brad, you're a lawyer. you're a 30-32 year old assumingly good looking lawyer that has game, and you think STARBUCKS is the reason you're having success lol?

bro you would be fvcking these broads if you took them to chuk e cheese.

but not everyone has your built in advantages.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Backbreaker, you're talking more about the Starbucks "frame" than the physical location. Most guys will fall into that frame, along with the many other traps of dating, like letting it become a boring job interview. Every location has a predominant frame, which is simply the way that most people think about it. What makes the library so much better than Starbucks is being able to look at it and see something that other guys don't see.

But it can't work against you if you turn it all on its head. All it would take to turn Starbucks from c0ckblock to poon paradise is simply the attitude you displayed in the original post. People dating and trying to hit on each other in a coffee shop is both ridiculous and hilarious at the same time. Getting a girl to share that joke with you will turn an uncomfortable experience into legitimate fun. Attitude transcends location.

 

[backbreaker]

Backbreaker, you're talking more about the Starbucks "frame" than the physical location. Most guys will fall into that frame, along with the many other traps of dating, like letting it become a boring job interview. Every location has a predominant frame, which is simply the way that most people think about it. What makes the library so much better than Starbucks is being able to look at it and see something that other guys don't see.

But it can't work against you if you turn it all on its head. All it would take to turn Starbucks from c0ckblock to poon paradise is simply the attitude you displayed in the original post. People dating and trying to hit on each other in a coffee shop is both ridiculous and hilarious at the same time. Getting a girl to share that joke with you will turn an uncomfortable experience into legitimate fun. Attitude transcends location.

i never thought of that. that's actually pretty slick. but the point still being, that's still way too much work to cold approach someone why start off at a disadvantage. and that doesnt' apply to girls that you took to starbucks yourself beucase regardless of how you try to difuse the situation,k you still took her to starbucks if you hated it that much you would not have brought her there.

it's just too much

 

[The Duke]

You know what I think...........I think some of you overanalyze everything. Just look at the 4-5 people that always show up and have to reply 5-6 times on every other thread. I don't know how you could possibly be that great with women, you would likely fuhk it up thinking too much. People who talk too much are never all that anyways.

And incase you were wondering, I prefer to take my dates to the adult video store. And if I need a "crutch" and am looking for a little more "action", I usually take her to the back rooms and watch a video! ;-) But make sure you clean up the mess or they'll want to charge you $20 when the kum drips down her legs onto the couch.

 

[SgtSplacker]

If i'm meeting a girl from a dating site for the first time i'll take them there. The coffee amps up my game a bit for a nice first impression. And it's perfect for that quick :30 minute meet and greet. After that she will never see the inside of a Starbucks with me again. I'll usually try my best to keep things near any kind of bar available. Coffee is like the opposite of alcohol...

 

[Darth]

Starbucks is one of the greatest scams ever invented. Whoever came up with that business model must laugh himself to sleep each night.

BB is right- the whole place seems fake and seems filled with pretenders and pretentious Apple-using, plastic glasses wearing college aged posers

 

[The Duke]

well if alcohol helps take their panties off.........does coffee help put their panties back on? Cuz there was this one girl this one time...........uhh huh...:moon:

 

[backbreaker]

nevermind that would be showing off.

 

[handle]

Im' not talking about coffee shops in general. that would be like you saying that I hate all PC's beucase I hate apples/macs.

The brand, everything that starbucks stands for, from the ****ty food to the ****ty indie/fake jazz music to the over priced ****ty coffee reeks of trying too hard and non masculinity.

Don't you think you're reading into this a bit too much? It's a cafe chain. It plays inoffensive music, sells you coffee, and has internet access. What do you expect? Starbucks to me is a place where you exchange 2 bucks for some internet access.

On the other hand, I would never take girls out to coffee as a date because...

- I don't drink coffee
- I spend a lot of my day at work sitting, why sit around for another hour?
- It is an extremely played-out date... In college it's the typical "testing the waters" date for when you aren't 100% interested or the girl is prudish/can't put aside a night for you.

... But the number 1 reason is because it's BORING. What is interesting about sitting at a table?