So what's a 'masculine' coffee shop then?backbreaker said:
For the record, I don't do coffee shops for dates. I stop at dunkin donuts to get coffee when I want it and leave. Bars are FAR superior for dates (if possible).
Starbucks: The biggest **** blocker in america
- Thread starter backbreaker
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For the record, I don't do coffee shops for dates. I stop at dunkin donuts to get coffee when I want it and leave. Bars are FAR superior for dates (if possible).
Bars? What about <21 girls? Plenty of stuff to do outside, then. Oh, winter? Well, invite her over for a movie. Oh, only spoke to her for 5 minutes? Not enough comfort built up for that? Coffee shop it is. What options are available... only one place nearby that isn't Starbucks, and it has horrid coffee.
Don't drive opinions when missing context. There's a time and place for all types of dates. Some are better than others - sometimes it is simply the choice of the lesser of two evils.
Don't drive opinions when missing context. There's a time and place for all types of dates. Some are better than others - sometimes it is simply the choice of the lesser of two evils.
A couple things:Plutoman said:
1) If you have the OPTION, you can choose to avoid low ROI situations. Fact: alcohol spreads legs quicker. Fact: involving alcohol makes your job easier. So, why would you avoid it if it's such a great tool? You can also choose to avoid dealing with women of low interest, or going on dates that seem like they'll be a waste of time off the bat (like dinner). What I'm getting at is if you CAN take a girl to a bar, TAKE her. If you can't, yea you're going to have to pick something inferior, but just realize you're not being as efficient with your time - on average.
2) There are non-coffee activities you can do that are cheap/convenient/not as c0ckblocking. See: movie theater, bowling, 18+ club, local events. If it's nicer out, you can do pool/festival. Also: if she's in college go to a house party. Not ideal, but alcohol is involved and if she's into you it'll work in your favor. You can always get a couple drinks in and bounce back to your place, or a room.
PS. If you only have 1 place nearby where you can take a girl, and it's a coffee shop, and it has terrible coffee ... you may want to change where you live or you're just going to struggle period.
^ I agree with that. Going to the point though that it's not always possible in the context. There's girls I've approached where I've had all of 2 minutes to speak to them and get a number. In these cases, the ones I've pushed towards other activities - have flaked, 100%. In the alternative, where I didn't push, I could get a coffee date pretty easily. It allows us to chat, build some comfort, and then I can go for a venue change or close it out for future options.
The situation for it is when you need a safe option for you to escalate the interaction without blowing her immediately out.
In every other situation... yes, definitely. Bars are definitely superior. At 21, though, the majority of women I've gone out with have been 18-20, thus I've had to work around that. Heck, I've only had bar access for 4 months.
On that note, there's plenty of places nearby, just in the range of coffee shops, it's either starbucks or a place with awful coffee, or a 45 minute drive (which occasionally is done as the drive is worthwhile).
Edit: My first post came across as a bit hostile, my apologies. Was not intended as such. Was typed on a phone without much forethought.
The situation for it is when you need a safe option for you to escalate the interaction without blowing her immediately out.
In every other situation... yes, definitely. Bars are definitely superior. At 21, though, the majority of women I've gone out with have been 18-20, thus I've had to work around that. Heck, I've only had bar access for 4 months.
On that note, there's plenty of places nearby, just in the range of coffee shops, it's either starbucks or a place with awful coffee, or a 45 minute drive (which occasionally is done as the drive is worthwhile).
Edit: My first post came across as a bit hostile, my apologies. Was not intended as such. Was typed on a phone without much forethought.
this is a dumb thread....very very dumb.....starbvucks is a great venue to talk to women...if you think it is hard there then you should hit up the local wal-mart like me and my friends used to do back in the day...girls are like WTF do you come to walmart just to talk to women? at least it's acceptable at starbucks...but hell, i will talk to a girl at a gas station or anywhere...starbucks is far fromt he worst place to do so and is good for a first date as well before doing somehting later on...
Backbreaker is dead on about Starbucks, and I agree completely about the stuck-up overpriced electronic gadgets like Apples and I-Pods.
People used to go to Denny's for coffee and late-night snacks. But Denny's got rid of nachos and spaghetti and oatmeal and got all pissy and now refuses to serve more than two refills. Well, they refill me as much as I like if I'm wearing a tie, but nobody wears a tie to casually hang out with friends. For some crazy reason, Denny's turned hostile to traditional coffee shop patrons, so they all went to Starbucks instead.
If you're attending CES, there's a tiny Starbucks near the front door of one of the exhibit halls. It always has a long line and it's easy to get numbers. Or you can go down to your casino's lobby coffee shop at 7am -- many of them are Starbucks -- and get free Wi-Fi and an electrical outlet and chat it up just like you'd do at a college student center. Mardi Gras is coming up and that's also a great time to do Vegas.
Other than a convention or vacation, lots of lower-class women mistakenly see Starbucks (and its clones) as a high-class place that they "get to" have a coffee in once in a great while. Some of them really light up when you take them to a place that has snob value. Especially the younger, less experienced ones. They're not as jaded as us guys who march a parade of dates through our usual spots.
ZINC there's a Wal-Mart on Sahara where I used to pick up girls when I was there. Way more eye contact and happier faces than at the casino. Real assortment of people from all backgrounds. And everybody comes out when the sun goes down, so the place is packed with people soaking up the air con.
People used to go to Denny's for coffee and late-night snacks. But Denny's got rid of nachos and spaghetti and oatmeal and got all pissy and now refuses to serve more than two refills. Well, they refill me as much as I like if I'm wearing a tie, but nobody wears a tie to casually hang out with friends. For some crazy reason, Denny's turned hostile to traditional coffee shop patrons, so they all went to Starbucks instead.
If you're attending CES, there's a tiny Starbucks near the front door of one of the exhibit halls. It always has a long line and it's easy to get numbers. Or you can go down to your casino's lobby coffee shop at 7am -- many of them are Starbucks -- and get free Wi-Fi and an electrical outlet and chat it up just like you'd do at a college student center. Mardi Gras is coming up and that's also a great time to do Vegas.
Other than a convention or vacation, lots of lower-class women mistakenly see Starbucks (and its clones) as a high-class place that they "get to" have a coffee in once in a great while. Some of them really light up when you take them to a place that has snob value. Especially the younger, less experienced ones. They're not as jaded as us guys who march a parade of dates through our usual spots.
ZINC there's a Wal-Mart on Sahara where I used to pick up girls when I was there. Way more eye contact and happier faces than at the casino. Real assortment of people from all backgrounds. And everybody comes out when the sun goes down, so the place is packed with people soaking up the air con.
Omerta
Don Juan
Its fine as a first date as long as its now crowded as ****, especially if its a screener date. Coffee shops (not specifically starbucks) are a great venue. Easy to chat, low pressure and low commitment on both sides of the table.
Cold approaches would be tough there though, it needs to be ultra casual and indirect. Most chicks are rocking headphones as well...
Cold approaches would be tough there though, it needs to be ultra casual and indirect. Most chicks are rocking headphones as well...
So what the h%ll is your point? Everyone i know still goes to starbucks from time to time...places are places and people are people...there are no excuses not to be able to game no matter where you are..like i said, you should try wal-mart or k-mart..Down Low said:
Omerta
Don Juan
Single moms are hard up... perhaps take her for a mccafe conveniently located inside.zinc4 said:
I'm a big fan of local coffee shops (even the more "indie-er" ones) since I live and go to school in a college town.
However, I cannot stand Starbucks. I believe Starbucks symbolizes everything that is wrong with this country.
However, I cannot stand Starbucks. I believe Starbucks symbolizes everything that is wrong with this country.
zekko
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Bottom line, if you're boring, you're going to have boring conversation. If you're good at making conversation, chances are you'll enjoy yourselves. Myself, I love coffee, but what I would do is stop and get the coffee to go and take it with us while we're going to go do something else.jammer said:
Backbreaker, I don't understand how you can say you hate Starbucks but also say "I also enjoy going to the local Starbucks which is like right next to my office".
backbreaker
Master Don Juan
because im' working i'm not trying to game women. I get in hermit mode and will lock myself in a room and it's close to my office and allows me to sit down and see regular people. it's my way of staying half ass sane.zekko said:
I agree with you on just about everything you say, but i have to hold the line on this one.
I mean, how many people on this forum say including myself action dates. action dates. action dates. do something fun. do something that is cost effective, that you like doing, and is fun.
I don't say that to say that starbucks isn't fun or isn't cost effective, i say that simply to say that saying you can get over the venue of the date simply by being a good conversationalist goes against pretty much the entire dating section of the DJ bible. Girls associate you with the date.. that's the entire piont of the action date to get her having fun and to assicater you with the fun time/feeling that she had.
you are saying that starbucks is okay if you are a smooth talker, and i just can't agree with that. not just starbucks, no ****ty date can be overcome (assuming the girl isn't already sold on you) just by being a good conversationalist.
lol you don't enjoy yourself by talking good you enjoy yourself by doing **** you enjoy doing.
in essence, you are saying that the only way you can enjoy yourself is if she is enjoying your company and you should, no i know you know that you shoudl not be outcome dependent no any interaction with a woman you aren't already vested in.
having fun/enjoying yourself and a woman wanting to **** you are not the same thing. the AFC goes on a date trying to get the girl to open up/impress her. The DJ goes on the date to have fun regardless of what the girl feels, at least he at the end of the day can say he had fun.
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Then you'll just have to suck it up for a little while. You can also filter for girls that are DTF based on some metrics. A lot of 18-20 year olds have IDs. You can also become a regular at a bar of your choice (I have one down the street from me I take ALL my dates to) and get to know the staff; they won't c0ckblock you especially on a weeknight and you'll be able to get those girls in there no problem. Few places card anymore (at least where I live).Plutoman said:
Filtering may result in less lays overall, but the ones you get will be quicker, more satisfying, and on your own terms.
Regardless though, you're already way ahead of the curve and it only gets easier as you get older, acquire experience, and become a more valuable man.
Be careful not to take this out of context. I've written about action dates and why I advise AGAINST them.backbreaker said:
You also associate action dates with fun, as if 'non action' dates aren't fun. I'll tell you what's fun for me: banging a new girl's brains out 2 hours after meeting her. That's my idea of action. Fast seduction is my idea of a good time. And I don't need to skydive to do it; a couple beers and a couch and 'boring conversation' while I escalate kino is one of the finer pleasures in life, at least to me.
According to what you write, I'm also not a DJ, because I DO care about what the girl feels. I want her to feel good. I want her to get wet and anxious to come home with me. Because in turn, that makes me feel good. At the end of the night, I 'had fun' if I nut in her mouth. So personally, I care.
alphamailman
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:crackup:Omerta said:
I've never had issues with starbucks. The biggest ****blocker is always myself making excuses for myself. It was always something like "Oh this place is terrible for picking up woman, oh this isn't my scene." no place is really my scene. It is up to me to take action and talk to woman anytime and anywhere.
You don't always have to follow rules to the letter, and you don't always have to go out on an action date. A true DJ doesn't need to follow anybody's rules, especially when they've been set by somebody else. Sometimes sitting down with a girl for an hour and getting to know her is all you need.backbreaker said:
The true DJ will have fun with a girl, and can even do it at the local starbucks if he chooses to. He doesn't need props like mini-golf or anything else for that matter. He understands that there is no substitute like his own charisma, personality, and sense of humor.backbreaker said:
evan12
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many of my first date was at starbucks , it is the cheapest nice place you can take a girl to, I know that cheap , but these women does not worth better !
but I agree with you the sheld of women in starbuck is so high , they are rude even if you ask them what time is it .
usually they are kind of feminists women
I also agree that in every starbucks there is a gay serving , could it be just by chance ? who know
but I agree with you the sheld of women in starbuck is so high , they are rude even if you ask them what time is it .
usually they are kind of feminists women
I also agree that in every starbucks there is a gay serving , could it be just by chance ? who know
The Gambler
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I don't know much about this jammer guy, other than he really has his sh!t together...jammer said:
I have read many of jammer's posts, and I look at things in a similar manner. For example, the "action dates" thing... That's a classic example of giving advice to people who are clueless on how to interact with women -- the "action" of the date is supposed to take the place of too much talking and inserting foot in mouth. An action date may not be bad advice, but it isn't the BEST advice. The BEST advice would be to start talking with every woman that you can, regardless of age, looks, marital status, etc. Guys need to feel comfortable speaking with females and learn how to make smalltalk, and practice is how you do that. Having this kind of experience under your belt will be invaluable when you do see a female who is a potential romantic interest.
Sorry if all of this is off-topic, and backbreaker does tend to give solid advice. Hopefully we all agree that silly details matter more when you're learning to crawl -- once you're good at running, the "Manual" of Pook lore will be long discarded.
The Gambler
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I can vouch for most of the starbucks here in atlanta fall into the OP's post. Smartphones and ipods all over the place. B**ch shields abound, and in atlanta, this is taken up to eleven. When I go into one, I don't go after women there. I go there to use the internet. Me and my gadgets. Handling my damn business.
The coffee shop scene is not for everybody. I've gottan lucky sometimes in coffee shops, and I was just alone with my gadgets. Maybe I looked like I was negotiating a million dollar deal. Do you know what made women have their b**ch shields up high in Starbucks lately? That's right, the number of PUA guides that suggest coffee shops on a first date and for meeting women, not to mention that the growing number of men using this stuff isn't helping any.
Find what works for you.
Case closed.
The coffee shop scene is not for everybody. I've gottan lucky sometimes in coffee shops, and I was just alone with my gadgets. Maybe I looked like I was negotiating a million dollar deal. Do you know what made women have their b**ch shields up high in Starbucks lately? That's right, the number of PUA guides that suggest coffee shops on a first date and for meeting women, not to mention that the growing number of men using this stuff isn't helping any.
Find what works for you.
Case closed.
