Don_Dom said:
Points taken, and I totally agree with plate theory....When I look back at the times when I've had lots of plates things always went better, I was much MUCH happier and much more on top of my overall game than when I didn't.
But the OP brings up an important practical question about actual plate spinning in a single neighborhood or small town or city. A practical question I've been curious about myself.....
When you date women in a small area, and have dates at the same handful of bars, coffee shops, and restaraunts, you are inevitably going to run into a plate with another plate. How do you handle it if the other plate confronts you, like somebody mentioned above? No offense to anyone, but some of you guys are so rigid about sticking to theories that you miss the point of a question sometimes.
Exes, I know how to deal with. Two women I'm both currently into and would rather not piss one or both off, not so much. I've had it happen before, and I think I handled it okay, but one lpst interest pretty quickly after that while the other did not. I would have preferred neither, or the other way around.
It's not a question of plate theory or not. I'm onboard and, I gather, most are including the OP. The question is, what do you actually do in that moment? Obviously, if they make too much of an issue you move on, but it would be nice to be able to avoid that.
When you talk about girls to another girl, you don't have to give her all the details like a police report. Remember the way you talk about other girls demonstrates the way you will talk about her in turn. Remember women have HO shields, if they think word is going to get out that she's banging someone she won't do it. So to protect the privacy of your female friends is pretty much your responsibility, it's a noble thing. It shows that you respect and value your friends. If a girl were to ask me what I did this weekend i'd tell her "I had a great weekend, I went out Sat. Michelle wanted to show me this awesome sushi place that freaking serves urchin.... bla bla... what a trip!" Thats it, that's all she needs to know. Nothing to hide, no shady business, just me and my friend sharing a meal together. Lets just say she rolls up on me and Michelle having coffee one day, i'll just introduce them and that's it. What else can I do?
When you meet a girl the last thing you want to do is to start to treat her like your girlfriend immediately. You can flirt with her, be sexual, look sexy, turn her on, romance her. But she is the one that has to ask for exclusivity, not you. Remember she is the buyer with the market choice, you are the seller. If she wants what you have she needs to ask for it. Otherwise she just might treat it like some kind of handout and you don't want that now do you!?
If she asks about your girlfriends try to avoid talking sex, but if she presses admit that you have fooled around with some of your girlfriends. Leave most of it to her imagination, but do be reasonably honest. Once again this is not a police report. I have had girls ask me why I don't have a committed relationship with my female friends. I just tell them something like we tried, or she's just not my type but we enjoy each others company, or she's just a little too crazy for me. Avoid any details, just straight out tell her "hey I really don't like talking about other people like that, these are my friends I would not speak to them about you like that and please don't talk to anyone about me like this, people tend to twist things a bit..." See whats going on here?
You are a guy that has female friends that enjoy your company what a miracle! what a rarity! Holy sh-it! Unbelievable!
Remember the mystery, always be mysterious. The less information the better.
And this also sets a nice foundation for a relationship, because if you start one with her you can bet she is not going to let you see your girlfriends like you used to. So now you have made a sacrifice, and she has won something. Do you think she is going to try and hang out with some dude she knows after she has asked you to stop seeing your friends? Your relationship will be something she has earned, and by relation something she wants. I think that half the guys on here posting their problems would not have those problems if they made themselves the prize properly.
