Also, I've been through times when I didn't have time for women. At one point I was working full time and going to college. I only dated in the summer, when I had time. I know Backbreaker has discussed going through a period where he was focusing on his business and didn't have time for women. Sometimes you just don't have time to date, you're busy building your future. Similarly, maybe sometimes you only have time to serial date.
3 years. 3 years without a date let alone sex or a GF. so my stance has abostluy nothing to do with needing anything. lol my wife right now will tell you that. And i promise you there is not one person here who has more **** going on in their personal / business life than i do. i promise you. and i still found time to spin plates when i was single. maybe didn't see them as often but i found time. my schedule is broken down to the point where i have to break my day down to 2 minute intervals I BS you not, yet still find time for plates. hell even find time to play a video game or two every once in a while. it takes me about 1 hour everyday to make the next days schedule.
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Spinning plates just seems like another way of pedestalizing women...it makes no difference than having one-itis. Your happiness is still dependent on a woman (albeit multiple women). Can't we just learn to be happy and content without them?
it works both ways. I can just as easily say, why are you (And others) so hell bent on trying to prove the plate theory wrong? what is so hard about about saying "yeah i'm not seriously dating anyone right now i will go out with a few different girls and when one of them shows me something worth settling down with i will settle"
your overall happiness should not come from a woman, nor was that ever implied here nor anywhere on the site. you just pulled that out of the middle of your ass.
you guys are like the newbies in an AA meeting getting up and telling the people in the back of the room with 10 years clean and sober what part of the big book does and does not make sense lol.
look, all we are trying to say, is at it's basic premise, the way you, me, everyone who came to this forum was "taught" by society the "right" way to do things was wrong.
the way my mother taught me to "court" a woman was to get her number, ask her out, go on a few dates, and if it goes well ask her out, then you date, and you keep dating. at it's core, this is why we are having this argument because you still want to believe this. IN retrospect I see that this is what my mother would like for men to do,l but it doesn't mean it's the most effective way to get a woman. what women want is not necessarily the same thing as what women need, and a woman does ont have your best interest in mind when giving advice
anyway, the way it SHOULD work, is that you are now single, you meet meet a girl and you go out with her. you keep going out with her, you get to know her, you don't rush things, and you meet someone else, and you go out with them too, and you get to know them too.
you keep doing this until one of the girls that you meet and keep going out with makes you say "god damn.. this one is like. way better than the rest of them. i don't want to see the rest of them anymore"
is that. . really that complicated to understand? no it's not. when laid out like that you can also see why it's not in the woman's best interest for you to imply this strategy. First, she has the very real possibility of not winning you. When compared with other women her flaws become more obvious and she actually has to work for you which she might or might not want to do. Also, when a woman knows you are getting tail from someone where, or better stated, at the very least, knows you are not 100% committed to h er at the time, there are things she can't do that she could do when you aRE committed to her.
Also, things like.. lavish candlelight dinners at 4 star resturants seem to have a way of going out the window when you have 2-3 girls instead of 1 you are trying to impress.
perfect example. when i sold cars back in the day, i would not sale a guy who had a 450 credit score and had to scrape together 1000 for a deposit just to get into ANY car, the same way I would sale a guy who walked in with a 810 credit score. I am basically one's only option for a car. the other he can throw a dart at a name and walk in that dealership and buy whatever the F he wants with just his signature and he knows it.
basically, all we are doing is adding an dditional buffer / layer between between the meet and date stage. WE don't just strait to dating. There is a relationship pegegoorty period wiht a woman where I am going to feel h er out and while i'm feeling her out i'm going to be feeling other women out too. when I find the one that that really stands out, we can proceed. if I feel her out and feel she isn't LTR matieral I will still enjoy her company utnil she moves on or until it just isn't worth my time anymore or I find someone else i DO want to settle down with.
Also keep this in mind the pure numbers. From the time I was 22 years old and broke up with my last real LTR utnil I setted down with my now wife when I was basically 25,...I probably went on.. somewhere around... 60-80 first dates. about half of them i didn't move forward with let's call it an even 70. so out of those 70 first dates in 3 years, and keep in mind I work every bit of 70-80 hours a week plus I work out everyday and at the time i was going to 1 sometimes as many as 3 AA meetings
A DAY, the only thing from stopping me from getting more plates was just time... i had very little. anyway, 70 first dates, i probably went on 40 2nd dates and about 20 of them ended up being actual plates. some lasted longer than others.
not counting my now wife. that's 20 women, that i had fun with/ went out with/ got to know that i found out that i was not compilable with long term. 20. it took me close to 100 first dates to find a woman that I was honestly comparable with to the point where i didn't want to see any other women anymore. 100.
Also.. I have advantages here that most men probalby don't have (a little bit of money).. so you would think some of these broads would t their best foot forward.
now, either i',m the pickest bastard on the face of the earth (and i admit, i'm pretty fvcking picky about what I want long term, i have a very hard set of standards i demand out of a woman if she wants me to not fvck other women), or the avg guy settles down WAY too quickly. first and foremost for me to even consider to settle down with a woman physically she has to have something exotic about her. I can't do normal / run of the mill 5'6 blond hair blue eyes for the rest of my life. my first gf was black and had this body that was just mesmerizing. my wife is british and almost 6'0 with very long legs. half the women just.. they were done before they started honestly. but then again, the more of a catch you are the more you can dictate terms. this is MY life we are talking about here, I don't care what you think is and is not shallow.
I quiver at some of the girls that i messed around with if i tried to make work. one girl when she found out i went on another date threw a vase at me and busted my head lol. Stephanie the young 19 year old who liked flashy shinny ****, while smokin hot yeah i would be broke trying to keep her happy. Crystal the low low self esteem no blow job giving woman who thinks her **** doesn't stink and is immuane to gyms (though she's naturally skinny). lol i'm just supposed to make that **** work lol, fvck that.
I quiver even more at the thought of me not approaching my now wife when we were playing eye footsie at the race track with each other because "I had a date that night" with a girl I had been out with 1 time before.
I only dated in the summer, when I had time
see. it's just that right there. the wording. don't consider it dating. you aren't dating anyone yet. you are going out and enjoying yourself and the company of women. nothingg more nothing less. something might or might not come of it but that's yet to be decided.
