Spinning Plates is overrated and should NOT be advised!

[TheManMasenko]

I found this site sophomore year of college and honestly it was more damaging than helpful..

The idea of “spinning plates” influenced me to take some actions that would result in me losing a girlfriend. This mindset is harmful because not only was I NOT being productive but I realized the demographics were not in my favor (and I’m sure not in most men's favor either).

I realized “spinning plates” is ONLY BENEFICIAL depending on where you're at in life. You see...I have friends (19-25 years old) who don't attend college and mate with women who don't attend school either. For them dating is different. They are not worried about exams or advancing themselves (as seriously as others). They are more focused on meeting new people, partying, and their job. If you have don't many responsibilities OR are already in a position of stability (comfort) in your life, THEN you can make the choice of deciding whether or not you want to try to bang as many women.

BUT! If you are NOT in a position of stability and you have responsibilities, it's not smart to plate women. You are less likely to manipulate yourself/the environment in your favor to succeed. Plus, if the woman is in the same situation and has responsibilities such as school, she's may want to study instead of hanging out with this guy.

I can say for certain, the idea of “spinning plates” needs to be analyzed if you do plan on doing it. Ask yourself what’re your goals/expectations. People like Rollo say dating is skewered to stuff like height and high value (LOL) maybe it's due to people prioritizing education or being in the wrong demographics. I saw a study that due to higher education people mate less. Of course, social media plays a part but cmon...It's not a major factor.

People who say "just spin plates bro" don't recognize everyone's situation is different and that actually going for a LTR may be more beneficial than banging as many women as possible. Overall, spinning plates is overrated and should not be advised for everyone. Just my opinion!

 

[Barrister]

Spinning plates is not overrated if that is the lifestyle you want. I have gone through a couple of points in the previous few years where I was in between LTRs and chose to spin plates. It was probably the most fun I have ever had in my life. Some weeks I would sleep with 2-3 different women. It definitely gives a man a rush that you don't get from an LTR.

Spinning plates while you are currently in an LTR takes a lot of skill to keep it secret. I also think a problem you have in particular, especially if you are at a small university, is that it sounds like you are trying to "plate" multiple women at the university. This is essentialyl akin to trying to plate women all in the same social circle - and that can get very difficult to do without a negative rep being slapped onto you. If you are going to spin plates at the university, I would maybe keep it to one who is a student. Try to find another 1-2 who are maybe local that you can slip off campus to see so paths aren't crossing. I went to a small university and I was still able to date local girls - so it can definitely be done.

You are right every situation is different. The rules we have are there more for guidelines than anything - but can certainly be tailored to fit certain situations.

 

[SmoothHendrixPS2]

spinning plates isn't for everybody. It's manipulative and narcissistic, but extremely powerful in giving men an abundance mindset, confidence, experience, and benefits. On the other hand and to OP's point, it can be extremely draining, time consuming, and messy (drama).

A guy who spins plates that aren't aware of the other plates is called a liar/manipulator or a "****boi". A TRUE PLAYER or MACK is a guy who's women know that he has other sex options and he can care less whether they adhere to the program or not...

There's ethical ways to womanizing, but to each his own.

OP this post is giving crazy BLUE PILL vibes... you're young and inexperienced but you will learn one day that trusting any female, especially just one, is a recipe for disaster.

EVen if you don't want to have multiple plates you should always have at least one or two backups if things go south with your main chick !

 

[pipeman84]

I agree with OP ... spending time with plates aka mediocre/low quality women is detrimental to one's development as a man and human being.

 

[TheManMasenko]

What do you mean by "responsibilities"? I'm a professional guy who's 33 years old with the same responsibilities as someone else (minus the kid or wife part) and you're telling me its not a good idea to spin plates? Why?

If your responsibilities are draining of the majority of your time. Spinning plates is not worth it.

You need to find to be able to find a balance. All I'm trying to say in this post...YOU should know whether spinning plates is appropriate based on where you are currently at with life. And for those just saying, you should spin plates without evaluating one's life is just bad advice on women.

You should rather settle for a LTR.

 

[TheManMasenko]

Do you guys (hypothetical) recommend me... a pre-med student (who's busy) to attempt to spin plates to have sex or be with girls!? That's just not ideal in my situation.

It's better to just build a relationship with one girl and incorporate her in my life while still following the basic principles of interest, holding frame, etc.

 

[TheManMasenko]

All in all... what you tell your mind...that's what's going to manifest.

So for myself, I don't believe spinning plates is worth the time/effort. Maybe when I'm finished with med school and if single...spinning plates sounds like a fckn thrill!

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

"spinning plates" is one of my least favorite metaphors in the manosphere.

Makes me think of those circus clowns to "spin plates" while they balance on top of sticks and keep needing to pay hyper attention to each plate until they come crashing down.

Most of manosphere nonsense is taking common sense, re-defining them as advanced sounding metaphors and selling to clueless gullible dudes with crippling social anxiety.

Date girls. Date as many girls as you can comfortably handle. Don't commit to any of them unless you are sure their good for the long haul.

If they cross any boundaries, throw out any red flags, just let them side and move on to the next one.

Dudes and ladies have been doing this since the dawn of time.

They even sang songs about this way back in the fifties.

"My mama told me, you better shop around..."

Jiminy Christmas some guys are so goddamn terrified to live life they want to get a PhD in approach techniques before tiptoeing off the sidelines and into the game.

Those who say they only want to find "one" good women are lying to themselves.

What they really want is to find any non-hideous woman who will accept their advances so they can cling them them like a buoy in the middle of the ocean.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Having done both throughout my 20's i can categorically say i was happier when i was in a stable & committed relationship

Spinning plates is fun in your early 20's in your early 30's its just a fvcking ball ache you start to realise the clock is ticking for everyone too settle down and you need someone stable and trustworthy to support you into midlife

Plus by the time most people get to 30 their mental state is poor and this is another issue you have to contend with

Despite what PUA's say it is not easy to sleep with and date 20 - 25 year old women in your 30's in fact i would go as far as saying its HARDER than when you are the same age as them because you have virtually nothing in common with hem

This is coming from someone who was sleeping with a HB 8 23 year old for 6 months...... in the end i was glad to get shot of her

OP i would advise to do some fvcking around and quickly get it out of your system

IF you come across a decent girl ( and you will know when you find her ) then do not be afraid to settle

You aren't really missing anything trust me.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

My dating life drastically improved when I quit obsessing over spinning plates and worked on my personality and communication skills. Spinning plates is a losing mindset if you are solely interested in just dating a girl.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

I found this site sophomore year of college and honestly it was more damaging than helpful..

The idea of “spinning plates” influenced me to take some actions that would result in me losing a girlfriend. This mindset is harmful because not only was I NOT being productive but I realized the demographics were not in my favor (and I’m sure not in most men's favor either).

I realized “spinning plates” is ONLY BENEFICIAL depending on where you're at in life. You see...I have friends (19-25 years old) who don't attend college and mate with women who don't attend school either. For them dating is different. They are not worried about exams or advancing themselves (as seriously as others). They are more focused on meeting new people, partying, and their job. If you have don't many responsibilities OR are already in a position of stability (comfort) in your life, THEN you can make the choice of deciding whether or not you want to try to bang as many women.

BUT! If you are NOT in a position of stability and you have responsibilities, it's not smart to plate women. You are less likely to manipulate yourself/the environment in your favor to succeed. Plus, if the woman is in the same situation and has responsibilities such as school, she's may want to study instead of hanging out with this guy.

I can say for certain, the idea of “spinning plates” needs to be analyzed if you do plan on doing it. Ask yourself what’re your goals/expectations. People like Rollo say dating is skewered to stuff like height and high value (LOL) maybe it's due to people prioritizing education or being in the wrong demographics. I saw a study that due to higher education people mate less. Of course, social media plays a part but cmon...It's not a major factor.

People who say "just spin plates bro" don't recognize everyone's situation is different and that actually going for a LTR may be more beneficial than banging as many women as possible. Overall, spinning plates is overrated and should not be advised for everyone. Just my opinion!

All these points are valid, but the bigger issue with spinning plates is that it's often a cope to avoid dealing with your insecurities. Men spin plates so they can distract themselves from their real issues (and by extension, the nature of the relationships they get into)

I would say that superficial short-term relationships don't really teach you a damn thing, and while it does require a certain skillset to maintain rotation(s), the most deep game knowledge/skillsets come from long term relationships, most of which is learning how to read her actions and control the frame.

 

[TheManMasenko]

Well you'll be one of the many simps in medicine, who will marry the first girl who touches your peepee if you don't know what true abundance is, how different women behave, who's a good girl, who's a bad girl, who's a bpd and who's healthy psychologically.

It doesn't take ****ing 100 women to understand what is what.

 

[HaleyBaron]

I found this site sophomore year of college and honestly it was more damaging than helpful..

The idea of “spinning plates” influenced me to take some actions that would result in me losing a girlfriend. This mindset is harmful because not only was I NOT being productive but I realized the demographics were not in my favor (and I’m sure not in most men's favor either).

I realized “spinning plates” is ONLY BENEFICIAL depending on where you're at in life. You see...I have friends (19-25 years old) who don't attend college and mate with women who don't attend school either. For them dating is different. They are not worried about exams or advancing themselves (as seriously as others). They are more focused on meeting new people, partying, and their job. If you have don't many responsibilities OR are already in a position of stability (comfort) in your life, THEN you can make the choice of deciding whether or not you want to try to bang as many women.

BUT! If you are NOT in a position of stability and you have responsibilities, it's not smart to plate women. You are less likely to manipulate yourself/the environment in your favor to succeed. Plus, if the woman is in the same situation and has responsibilities such as school, she's may want to study instead of hanging out with this guy.

I can say for certain, the idea of “spinning plates” needs to be analyzed if you do plan on doing it. Ask yourself what’re your goals/expectations. People like Rollo say dating is skewered to stuff like height and high value (LOL) maybe it's due to people prioritizing education or being in the wrong demographics. I saw a study that due to higher education people mate less. Of course, social media plays a part but cmon...It's not a major factor.

People who say "just spin plates bro" don't recognize everyone's situation is different and that actually going for a LTR may be more beneficial than banging as many women as possible. Overall, spinning plates is overrated and should not be advised for everyone. Just my opinion!

Nah son, you got it all wrong. Spinning plates is what you do when you don't have all the time in the world. What you ended up doing was treating your plates like gfs instead of flings or fwbs. You're young so you don't have the solid frame yet to be able to just say no to women to go out somewhere. You likely also gave too much ground to many of the women you got instead of placing them on a schedule. No different from how you go to a gym at a certain time or an afterschool sport.

Spinning plates work. You just need to practice more.

 

[doctorduarte]

Spinning plates involves a state of being, namely your mental point of origin. It should be effortless, not dramatic and definitely not the focus of any good man's life.

I went back to college in my late 20's. My focus at the time was doing well in school, staying in shape, making friends, and having fun. Nothing was allowed to negatively impact my primary purpose - going to medical school.

Since I was recently divorced, I refused to commit to any girl that I dated. We could go on dates and have fun, but anything resembling exclusivity was out of the question. They knew this up front. Despite me being very clear about this, most of them still wanted to be in rotation. There were one or two that only stuck around for a few weeks, but there were always more already in the rotation.

FYI, I'm always the shortest guy in the room. I grew up very lower-middle class. I've only recently started earning real money. I've literally never struggled with getting women. Like most men, I've struggled in life when I've let women be my focus.

 

[jaymbrs]

You blindly accepted advice without even thinking if it applied to your personal life at your stage. Don’t expect strangers on the internet to know your circumstances.

 

[doctorduarte]

Do you guys (hypothetical) recommend me... a pre-med student (who's busy) to attempt to spin plates to have sex or be with girls!? That's just not ideal in my situation.

It's better to just build a relationship with one girl and incorporate her in my life while still following the basic principles of interest, holding frame, etc.

The majority of people dating or married break up while in medical school or residency. You'll see how little time you have then. Plate spinning is the only effective way to maintain a social life in medical education.

 

[Stanley]

Everyone wants different things. Everything is relative. What might work for me might not work for you. Understand what it is you want and go after that. Want a relationships? Cool, go for a relationship. Wanna be transient and enjoy the casual side? Spin plates. Want to test the waters and vet for an ltr? You could spin plates or actively seek a relationship exclusively. Spinning plates is but one of many sexual strategies and few guys can actually pull it off.

The idea of “spinning plates” influenced me to take some actions that would result in me losing a girlfriend. This mindset is harmful because not only was I NOT being productive but I realized the demographics were not in my favor (and I’m sure not in most men's favor either).

Plate spinning is not for everyone, but in reality you could just think of it as not dating exclusively, even Rollo himself has made an effort to stop saying spin plates and refers to it as dating non-exclusive. Do not blame a sexual strategy for the sabotage of your relationship, that doesn't track. Just because you hear something online does not mean you need to act on it. If you had a quality relationship I haven't a clue why you would jeopardize that. A lot of guys here are in happy ltrs and they would tell you to NOT to spin plates. A large premise of spinning is literally to find a quality girl to move up to relationship material. You blew it, not the site, not the methodology, you're lack of productivity was your own fault. A lesson to be learned

I realized “spinning plates” is ONLY BENEFICIAL depending on where you're at in life. You see...I have friends (19-25 years old) who don't attend college and mate with women who don't attend school either. For them dating is different. They are not worried about exams or advancing themselves (as seriously as others). They are more focused on meeting new people, partying, and their job. If you have don't many responsibilities OR are already in a position of stability (comfort) in your life, THEN you can make the choice of deciding whether or not you want to try to bang as many women.

BUT! If you are NOT in a position of stability and you have responsibilities, it's not smart to plate women. You are less likely to manipulate yourself/the environment in your favor to succeed. Plus, if the woman is in the same situation and has responsibilities such as school, she's may want to study instead of hanging out with this guy.

Disagree. Casual relationships allow you to be transient, they are great for when you are in a changing period of your life. Stability is when you want a relationship (if that's' your prerogative). Women who want commitment from a man (key word man, not boy) expect a incredible amount of stability in your finances, emotions, strength and so on. Casual relationships do not. This is why you even hear from boomers to young men to not date 'seriously' in their 20s. BUT again, everyone is different. I dated two girls seriously in my early 20s and I learned a lot. I also learned I don't want a committed relationship any time soon and by 'playing the field' I've come to know myself better and know what I want out of women.

People who say "just spin plates bro" don't recognize everyone's situation is different and that actually going for a LTR may be more beneficial than banging as many women as possible. Overall, spinning plates is overrated and should not be advised for everyone. Just my opinion!

Yes, some people here lack nuance and they read clear as day. Again, you need to be aware of this and need to have the common sense to think for yourself. You do not need to take on someone else's opinion or stances on things if you do not want to. Reflect on them, consider them, and adjust as needed (if even needed). In this post I am writing currently I express disagreement and counter you with takes from my own experience, you do not need to take them on for yourself if you do not want to. There is a lot of finger pointing and old man screaming at the sky going on in your post op. It sounds like you are bitter and angry and looking to take it out on the board. Don't do that. I think some of your critiques are valid, but this seems entirely like a you problem. I don't want to call you immature because I've made some dumb mistakes while listening to others advice in my early 20s when dating and it burned me good. But when you realize those mistakes, own those mistakes and address the insecurities behind them you grow exponentially. The first step in that process is being accountable.

I'd advise taking a step back from all of this and just spending some time upstairs and readdressing what is you want, from this board, from women, from relationships, from life, from your career/education and so on. That said YOU DO NOT NEED TO HEED my advice if you don't want to. This thread will likely turn into a bunch of dudes arguing with you, justifiably so since the tittle and post alone will ruffle feathers.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You must be one needy dude.

 

[RazorRambo24]

Spinnin plates is a way of life.. It only gets better once you figure it all out. Progress is everything.

 

[Gamisch]

Anthony Spade (underrated dating coach) once said a quote that hit me HARD. He said this ; you are either in her rotation, or she's in your rotation. To " normal " people this will sounds like a negative, who- hurt - you - type of qoute.

Can someone explain to me why I managed to keep most of the women I met on their toes until I either gave or pushed for exclusivity? It took me years to even grasp this specific dynamic.

But settling for an LTR before having the abundance mindset is the wrong thing that can happen to man, get gets married to the wrong women, gets oneitis to that one, has children with that one, she divorces, and all his development for what?

That's the worse thing that can happen to a man, not being able to see what true abundance of women is, speaking from experience.

Best post imo. A man in this state of mind is a liability for everyone involved. The woman will feel the attraction is fading due his inexperience , and the man will be frustrated because he " tries to do everything right". This is what happens with most relationships.

Unfortunately this seems like a natural thing. Some men need to become ( more like) an azzhole (abundance mindset) before they can yield the results they really want.

A LTR, being in love and all that can be great. But just as high as it can take you , it can drop you and make you fall just as hard, if not much harder.

Well you'll be one of the many simps in medicine, who will marry the first girl who touches your peepee if you don't know what true abundance is, how different women behave, who's a good girl, who's a bad girl, who's a bpd and who's healthy psychologically.

Most won't like what I will say here. This op is logical and rational, but that's not how dating works(anymore). Most women you'll encounter won't be logical and rational, but rather emotional. This logically thinking man will always end up emotionally damaged. Logical thinking when dealing with women is actually illogical .


Remember how we used to feel when we heard the girl we liked talking about her azzhole bf, but yet she always stayed with him? Shyte like this pushed most men to the manosphere because understanding women wasn't easy at all, but more like some type of difficult mathematical equation.

Look, the difference is most men once they are in a LTR are capable to completely shutdown any other woman, while most women will always keep the door to other men open a little bit, and also encourage one another to do so.

The word monkeybranche is exclusively used to describe female behavior.
Why men are not doing the same thing? How will a man find a better fit , a better woman if he always closes the door because of his loyalty to a mediocre woman that treats him like shyt? You can also say that a person that monkeybranches is " just looking out for his or her own best interest ".

No, we tell each other to stay lonely and wait for miss Right, while woman think like ;"feck that , Imma have me as mucho fun as possible and when mr right shows up some day I'll simply say bey bey beta Bob. " You know Bob, attraction can happen....

To spin or not to spin is a choice you make. Like Barrister said, the thrill of having multiple partners is something a LTR can't give you . Just like a exclusive LTR with the right woman is a great experience that cannot be replicated with fast flings. If you wanna be the LTR guy that cool , just dont complain when you end up heart broken when reality strikes .