Alex --
I would say that a lot of these tips of seduction will help you get laid or help build attraction from a female. (Which many of us can get tired at failing time and time again).
I have recently learned LTR's are an entirely different ballgame -- and at some point it is going to boil down to who you REALLY are. Who YOU really are and who SHE really is are going to be revealed at some point. You must never stop being the absolute BEST YOU.
It is here that you will find if you are truly compatible.
If you are bringing out the best in one another -- then this is good. If you are battling or always going uphill [recent experience] then it is probably going to get worse. But this does not mean people [including ourselves] have very real faults. No matter how much we keep working towards greater perfection, we will continue to have faults.
If you really care about another person -- and can tolerate their BAD SIDES -- than the concept of LOVE can come into play. This is a difficult concept, as we all have different understandings of this word. And sometimes WE can accept another person's GOOD and BAD, but they may be unable to accept OURS.
It is very hard to love someone and they do not love you back. This forum advocates finding a woman who really cares about you more than you care about her -- because your acceptance and happiness is built upon yourself -- and cannot be so easily shaken by her dismissal of you.
A lot of this stuff here, really should just be used as a framework to approach relationships -- to learning how to reach out to women -- and to learn how to judge their actions and behaviors without unraveling yourself.
I have made the mistake recently of not taking care of my personal business as well as I should have, having too much free time, and becoming somewhat needy. I wish I could say I was entirely aware as this process was unfolding -- but I was not. I was somewhat internally tormented and unhappy -- and this is sure death to a healthy relationship. Especially when she, it was revealed, really didn't love me at all -- there was no patience. I wasn't up to her bar, so to speak, and was ditched.
I'm telling you man -- the general concepts here will be effective. I think most women do not like to be showered in complements, pedestaled, or have a man base their lives around them. Being shy and afraid will never help you meet a woman. Because life has real challenges too -- and if you can't even get the balls to say hello, how could you have the balls to raise a family, etc, etc.
If you are truly interested in a successful and happy LTR, do the following:
1. Use the tactics here to pickup different women and try them out -- spin plates -- when one is below what you want and need -- cut her and find a new one. Waste no time.
2. If one has faults you are able to be patient with, then keep her around and be patient with her if she is meeting your other needs, or genuinely trying her very best.
3. Once a woman is LTR material to you -- engage in the relationship and let yourself enjoy it. Plan time with her to be happy and to DO things together that cause you to GROW and LEARN.
4. Keep your OWN LIFE moving and keep up with your RESPONSIBILITIES. If she leaves you, cheats on you, changes her mind, becomes confused, etc, then your life is still held together. She was never your absolute focus to begin with.
5. By giving her SPACE, and causing her to come to you -- ie, less text messaging, less phone calls, less 'I love you's', etc, she will feel continually drawn to you -- and that is where this place comes into play. To keep a certain awareness as to what is happening.
If I had practiced more awareness, I may have not lost my recent LTR. I know rehashing these things again and again and rehashing what I could have done, etc, etc is self-torture. I agree.
BUT -- these tactics will help. If you work to keep yourself AWARE of her body language and her actions, you can better adjust your actions to maintain her interest.
Also know you may make mistakes along the way. Hopping into your first LTR you are bound to drop some of your DJ principles when you least expect them -- and sometimes you'll think "she's different" and you may think you have wiggle room. You will make mistakes. I think marriage worthy LTR will be with someone who does not bail on you during your mistakes. OR -- you will, through experience, learn enough not to make the same mistakes (because some mistakes are very hard to recover from). This is probably a mutual thing in some ways for both parties.
I look back on my recent LTR and after we (a) discussed our past relationships and (b) past sexual experiences, it really threw a wrench in our relationship that was hard to ever remove. ALSO -- I sacrificed some of the things I NEEDED to be doing for myself, to BE WITH HER -- and this also threw a wrench in her perception of me that I was never really able to recover from.
I think at some point an LTR should not be so damned difficult -- once you discover who you are, and make a mission for yourself in life [that is not a female], things will keep getting easier. Because if a woman does begin causing you a great deal of trouble, you've built your happiness upon yourself and your own hard work, and it won't lead to such heart break.
And the right woman, I believe, will be there for you when you struggle.
Just my $.02 cents...these tactics can help you get women to assess for an LTR. The success of your LTR will be maintaining the frame you started it in, and taking care of YOUR business.
ALSO -- the hardest thing to accept is you may be VERY COMPATIBLE and doing everything RIGHT in the beginning -- but as life brings trials and tribulations, growth and change, you both may CHANGE also and what you HAD may not be what you HAVE. One of the hardest things to understand is that you BOTH may REALLY WANT IT TO WORK -- but you find yourselves ultimately INCOMPATIBLE or GROWING IN DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS. This, is not easy to understand always and feels very unfair.
More responses I am interested in...
