SoSuave Relationship Improvement

[Buddha_Mind]

Zekko you are completely right on in this thread.

Look, this website might help you BETTER ATTRACT a woman, maybe even bed women, but when you get into a RELATIONSHIP a lot of things change. I definitely agree that the principles on this site -- do not be needy, focus on your own growth, do not tolerate terrible acts of disrespect -- are crucial.

The hardest part is being able to walk away from a bad situation because there is this overwhelming fear of being left alone, left behind, discarded that can take hold of the mind and suddenly we rationalize ourselves back into very ****ty situations.

Relationships reveal the BEST and WORST of yourself -- you are FORCED to confront your deepest insecurities, from the aspects of your body, to the aspects of your mind, your fears, your worries, your dreams -- these will all manifest while being in a relationship.

It seems somehow a person ought to keep a disconnected mindset from the emotions they are experiencing. Intense emotions can feel really good -- intense love and so forth -- but what a person should do MORE SO is RECOGNIZE the moments of intense emotion. This does not mean you are in-love forever, or you are guaranteed some faithful bride, but it does mean you have STRONG FEELINGS. And STRONG FEELINGS can go from Love -> Hate very easily -- any intense emotion in regards to something, can change in the emotion that is being experienced.

What I am really trying to say, is in regards to those looking for LTRS or things beyond just a onesy -- is that you take NOTE of your emotional intensity -- and RECOGNIZE that it is merely emotional intensity. Keep yourself CENTERED and not SWEPT AWAY FOOLISHLY by your emotions [like I myself did these past 8 months...please learn from my pain].

This site can help gain perspective, but what I am learning after taking a break from this site -- is there are principles here that will set you up to have the best relationship you can -- but ultimately all of the hard work, all of the pain that goes with it, is on only the individual. Nobody can do it for you. And I am now convinced that THE BEST WAY TO LEARN is to ENGAGE IN RELATIONSHIPS, even if they aren't THE ONE, just keep LEARNING and PRACTICING and better understanding YOURSELF.

 

[zekko]

You're not a male in the 6-8 range, Maxtro

It's not that hard to be a 6, IMO. If Maxtro has self esteem and confidence issues, is it really helpful to tell him he doesn't rate a 6? If he could fix his inner game issues, he very well might rate a 6, we don't know him.

Look at the people who go to bootcamps, don't they have an exercise before they hit the club where they tell themselves they're all 10s?
I agree sometimes you have to be realistic, so yeah the "we're all 10s" thing is probably a bit of BS. I don't even believe there is such a thing as a 10. I do think there is something to the concept of "delusional self confidence" though.

As for women, by my scale, an 8 is pretty damn good looking. Since I don't believe in 10s, only a 9 is better. And those would be only the very most attractive girls.

And I am now convinced that THE BEST WAY TO LEARN is to ENGAGE IN RELATIONSHIPS, even if they aren't THE ONE, just keep LEARNING and PRACTICING and better understanding YOURSELF.

To reach your full potential growth, I really think a person should try both plate spinning and LTRs, at different times. They can also go hand in hand. You can't just pick some random girl and make her an LTR (you don't make a ho a housewife, for example). You could spin plates until you find a girl you think might be worthy of trying an LTR with. It pays to shop around. Some people go the serial monogamy route, and there's nothing wrong with that, but it takes longer.

I think the main problem with your last relationship is that you chose poorly.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

To reach your full potential growth, I really think a person should try both plate spinning and LTRs, at different times. They can also go hand in hand. You can't just pick some random girl and make her an LTR (you don't make a ho a housewife, for example). You could spin plates until you find a girl you think might be worthy of trying an LTR with. It pays to shop around. Some people go the serial monogamy route, and there's nothing wrong with that, but it takes longer.

I think the main problem with your last relationship is that you chose poorly.

Zekko, you've been speaking to my soul man...my common sense was entirely lacking...I entirely admit it...so many red flags; and this makes me question myself and my own judgement (and I suppose it ought to...I could have risked some serious bumps to my future if children had resulted, etc, etc)...I was suffering from a severe case of oneitis, and was suffering from delusions brought on by the love chemicals in my brain

I need more experience. That is a fact. This chick was showering me in complements and constantly turned on by me in the beginning...this was very hard to resist.

I've got to take back control of the wheel and take this life on its proper course. :woo: