Somewhat Long

LeMac

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I can't think of a title for this...just read please. :yes:

This week I made a move on a girl that had a crush on me for the entire year. She had just broken up with her boyfriend, so I figured this was a decent time to start something casual. Things started, but then she left abruptly. I was stumped, angry, and for a while I was in more of a "vengeful" state than anything. Just one of many personality flaws, I suppose...

Anyways, the other night we put everything on the table and talked about it all in plain English (or as close as you can come with a female). She has been regularly hooking up with some other guy (a guy I've always considered to be a real obnoxious ****), and it seems that's the main problem. It isn't a serious relationship, but they are "seriously" hooking up...ie, ****ing. She still wanted to hang out and such...though I told her I honestly couldn't go out with her as a friend and sit there while she hooks up with this other guy.

I told her that I wasn't really going to just wait there, as though I were just waiting for her to be done with the ****...but that I was still waiting in some sense. In other words, I'm not just going to sit tight, but I am and will be single.

I then told her that I would miss her and I would see her around, and then I left.

Now:
Unless I truly did manage to turn her off to me (two of our mutual friends said that she thought I was too quiet), I think that she is still into me, but I need to get to know her more. I guess I'd need to give her a reason to stop ****ing the ****.

This is where I hit a brick wall though. I don't know how to build whatever type of connection she's probably looking for. I can talk to her and stuff, but I guess in the end it's all small talk. I played my cards in having her hang out with me, and then hooking up (though as I said, she left abruptly after about 10 minutes of making out).

I can't pretend that she's particularly important to me now...I barely know her. I can set my sights on someone else today and she'll just shift to the back of my mind. However, I do still want to be with her. This might sound a bit ****ed up, but...I feel that she's something I could and should have.

SHORT VERSION:
Pretty much all of my success and "game" has been on the short-term...ie. "one-night stand"-esque. I need to put longer-term game(a week or two?) on this girl, but don't know where to start. I've pretty much never been successful when it's not just a short-term hook up, and I'd like to start.
 

Thomas94305

Senior Don Juan
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Go talk with other women..

This woman is ****ing someone else. She's at best giving you crumbs. No matter what you do with this woman, be sure to sarge others. This woman is sooooo unreliable. Wait, she's totally reliable, you can absolutely count on her to **** this other guy.

Agree that you should be looking for longer term. Seek that with others. Go to coffee shops, meet there. If you meet in a club, number close and follow with hanging out, etc. Take steps to just talk, hang out, vibe, do other fun things besides ****. Perhaps you're hanging on to this gal because she's your one avenue to something more. Build some other avenues.

If you really want to do something with this one gal, then don't burn a bridge. See others, and stay in touch with her. You can even tell her about your other dates. It lets her know you have self respect, and she's loosing an opportunity with you.
 

LeMac

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Thanks Thomas. I'm actually not hanging on this girl...she's just the most recent. Essentially everything has happened within the past 4-5 days. My plan was to try to slowly work my way up, while DEFINITELY pursuing other things.

A lot of her behavior actually was a big turn off, though. I mean, she claimed to like me, but honestly treated me like **** as I tried to make things happen.
 
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