Some tips from the female perspective

[MsDonJuan]

Wowwww. Never thought I'd ever run across a message board where men debate dating even MORE than women do! I have learned a lot about the male point of view by reading all these posts, even though it reinforces what I already knew: men are slaves to pvssy and will put on any kind of facade to get it. But some of your attitudes are so crappy it's no wonder you aren't scoring. Some of the biggest mistakes:

1] Putting too much emphasis on lame pick up lines and hypothetical situations, and not enough on APPEARANCE.
A lot of you think when random women you approached weren't interested, it means your pick up line fell flat. The real reason is she probably did not think you are good looking.

Also, be realistic. Take a look in the mirror. How do you think a girl would rate YOU? If you think you're about a 6, approach girls in the same range. If you think you are a 10 (unless you resemble Brad Pitt, you probably are not), then approach HB10s.

2] Most of you think being ****y is a good thing. While confidence is key, you don't want to over do it. Don't constantly talk about yourself, and NEVER put down a girl you want, even in a playful manner. Ask questions.

Nothing is more satisfying to a girl than rejecting a ****y, egotistical fvcker.

3] Many of you are so wrapped up in saying the right things, and acting the right way, you forget the most important thing: being nice. Be laid back. Don't try too hard to be something you're not. Just be yourself.

 

[Krak]

2] Most of you think being ****y is a good thing. While confidence is key, you don't want to over do it. Don't constantly talk about yourself, and NEVER put down a girl you want, even in a playful manner. Ask questions.

****y IS a good thing as long as it is accompanied by FUNNY. just being ****y is obviously not going to work but being funny along with it will. Hence it is called ****y AND funny, C+F. Being ****y doesn't mean talking about yourself either.

And I'm not going to even bother replying to the rest of your post becuase this is a prime example why men should not take dating advice from women. Much like women should not take dating advice from men.

 

[Jariel]

Whoever you are, my own experience completely backs up everything you said. I couldn't agree more in fact!

I believe a lot of guys here have been reading too many fairytales from seduction gurus, who lead them to believe they have complete and immediate control over women. So they start trying out all these lines, acts and gimmicks instead of working on what counts - namely their appearance and personality.

 

[johnmich]

LOL should we buy you flowers as well ?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Did someone leave the screen door open again?

 

[far from average]

Wowwww. Never thought I'd ever run across a message board where men debate dating even MORE than women do!

Perhaps, but unlike a women's board, the men here are actually making an effort to improve ourselves and solve our problems.

1] Putting too much emphasis on lame pick up lines and hypothetical situations, and not enough on APPEARANCE.
A lot of you think when random women you approached weren't interested, it means your pick up line fell flat. The real reason is she probably did not think you are good looking.

Well, there are a lot of threads here about looking better. But to address your point, really you can fail for one of the reasons cited above or for a combination, or for a whole other reason altogether. There's a lot more chance involved than people like to admit, which is why playing the numbers game can do you some good.

Also, be realistic. Take a look in the mirror. How do you think a girl would rate YOU? If you think you're about a 6, approach girls in the same range. If you think you are a 10 (unless you resemble Brad Pitt, you probably are not), then approach HB10s.

You are assuming that people can rate themselves rationally. There's no way you're a woman, because any woman would know how subjective self-image is. What happens if a 6 thinks he's a zero?

2] Most of you think being ****y is a good thing. While confidence is key, you don't want to over do it. Don't constantly talk about yourself, and NEVER put down a girl you want, even in a playful manner. Ask questions.

There's putting down and then there's teasing. I tease, but I've seen putdowns work for others. They might not work on you if you're actually a female, but try not to impute your qualities on every other woman.

3] Many of you are so wrapped up in saying the right things, and acting the right way, you forget the most important thing: being nice. Be laid back. Don't try too hard to be something you're not. Just be yourself.

You can be yourself and still act in ways that are socially productive. You are yourself at a bar and yourself at a family party, but you are showing somewhat different sides of yourself.

I really hope you'll come back and answer this post.

 

[Consent]

Whoever you are, my own experience completely backs up everything you said. I couldn't agree more in fact!

J ariel, your posts are stupid. So now you say only a guy with a 10 in looks can get a girl who is a 10? Do you even live in reality? Not to mention how you say cold approaches don't work in your other post. It's no wonder keyboard jockeys are the only ones looking up to you. They are naive enough to believe what you say.

I'm not replying to the original poster 'cause it's obvious to anyone with an IQ that this is a troll of a guy pretending to be a girl.

 

[MsDonJuan]

I disagree with regards to looks. How is it that someone such as myself - who is avergage looking to not bad - has managed to pull 8's and 9's on several occasions? How is it that you see ugly guys with attractive women?

I'm gonna agree with Krak here, you shouldn't take dating advice off a woman. No offence, but it's just a bad idea.

You either have a good personality or you're rich.
Don't get me wrong, looks are not everything. I was referring more to the first encounter. The only reason guys want to approach women is for their looks. Well it's the same the other way around.

The reasons you see a lot of hot girls with average guys is because
A] a lot of really hot guys are gay and therefore off limits.
B] there is a serious shortage of hot guys in the first place because most men don't put any effort into their looks
C] some hot guys have an ego and turn women off right away.

To me, it makes more sense to take dating advice from the opposite sex to get their perspective. I'm not saying you need to take mine. By all means, keep doing what works.

 

[Jariel]

J ariel, your posts are stupid. So now you say only a guy with a 10 in looks can get a girl who is a 10?

No, but he has a MUCH better chance than anyone else, that's for sure!

Do you even live in reality? Not to mention how you say cold approaches don't work in your other post.

That is reality. The stuff you have been fed about walking upto women in the street, saying something cool or performing a trick for her, and that leading to a date...well that's fantasy!

I've not said that cold approaches NEVER work, but even the most successful pick up artists are looking at a very small success rate, and they have some fundamental qualities (looks, charisma, confidence) going for them to begin with. I would sooner encourage getting a social life, friends and acquaintances than hanging round streets and malls asking for numbers like a common beggar.

It's no wonder keyboard jockeys are the only ones looking up to you. They are naive enough to believe what you say.

Actually, keyboard jockeys are the ones who resent me most for discouraging their quick fixes and pointing them in the direction of self improvement, real life experience and hard work.

 

[far from average]

That is reality. The stuff you have been fed about walking upto women in the street, saying something cool or performing a trick for her, and that leading to a date...well that's fantasy!

Well of course it is. I never bought into Speed Seduction or any of that. However, if you read different PUA articles, you'll find many of them stress the same fundamental stuff, and that the "tricks" and "routines" are often superficial. For example, while I don't use a lot of it, I read Mystery's book and I have to say, the guy has a TON of insight into social interactions. If nothing else you'll be able to read situations better.

Take the Bruce Lee approach. Bruce took what was useful and discarded the rest to create his own fighting style which was tailored to his strengths and weaknesses. You have to do the same, and no matter how cheesy the source, there may be some little nugget of info that will come in useful again and again.

 

[brucevangeorge]

You either have a good personality or you're rich.
Don't get me wrong, looks are not everything. I was referring more to the first encounter. The only reason guys want to approach women is for their looks. Well it's the same the other way around.

The reasons you see a lot of hot girls with average guys is because
A] a lot of really hot guys are gay and therefore off limits.
B] there is a serious shortage of hot guys in the first place because most men don't put any effort into their looks
C] some hot guys have an ego and turn women off right away.

To me, it makes more sense to take dating advice from the opposite sex to get their perspective. I'm not saying you need to take mine. By all means, keep doing what works.

Define ego... and how do I keep it at bay?

 

[Consent]

That is reality. The stuff you have been fed about walking upto women in the street, saying something cool or performing a trick for her, and that leading to a date...well that's fantasy!

um, people on this site do not usually talk about doing a trick for her. I think you're reading the wrong message board.

I've not said that cold approaches NEVER work, but even the most successful pick up artists are looking at a very small success rate, and they have some fundamental qualities (looks, charisma, confidence) going for them to begin with.

And the success rate of standing there oogling at a girl who walks by is zero. I've done cold approaches at my college and mall and they do work.

I would sooner encourage getting a social life, friends and acquaintances than hanging round streets and malls asking for numbers like a common beggar.

According to your own logic then, you would be trying to make friends and acquantances like a "common beggar" wouldn't ya?

Actually, keyboard jockeys are the ones who resent me most for discouraging their quick fixes and pointing them in the direction of self improvement, real life experience and hard work.

LOL...you kept talking about how looks are really important and then you try to say that you promote self improvement and hardwork? It seems like you're just making things up as you go.

 

[ntssv]

Actually, keyboard jockeys are the ones who resent me most for discouraging their quick fixes and pointing them in the direction of self improvement, real life experience and hard work.

I concur... get a life and everything falls into place.

 

[V-Don]

Bullshyt

] Many of you are so wrapped up in saying the right things, and acting the right way, you forget the most important thing: being nice. Be laid back. Don't try too hard to be something you're not. Just be yourself.

Just be yourself does NOT work. Self improvement is about not being oneself. Its about being better than one was yesterday. Of course, being laid back works. However, being nice comes only when its time to be nice. Trust me, I lived the being nice guy, laid back and myself approach. All it got me was used and tossed to the side.

Confidence
Strength
Knowing what one wants
Smoothness
Not taking shyt from "Female DJ's."
Self Improvement

This is what leads to getting ladies. I should know, I have 3 hot dates this week. Laid back works in the right situation at the right time. However, if used wrongly, it will make you look shy.

Anyways, this website is not about smooth lines and tricks. Of course there are some people on here that want a quick lay. Really, this site is about the road to improving oneself. Getting to the point where you don't NEED a woman to enjoy life. Making yourself a prize.

 

[V-Don]

Many of you are so wrapped up in saying the right things, and acting the right way, you forget the most important thing: being nice. Be laid back. Don't try too hard to be something you're not. Just be yourself.

Just be yourself does NOT work. Self improvement is about not being oneself. Its about being better than one was yesterday. Of course, being laid back works. However, being nice comes only when its time to be nice. Trust me, I lived the being nice guy, laid back and myself approach. All it got me was used and tossed to the side.

Confidence
Strength
Knowing what one wants
Smoothness
Not taking shyt from "Female DJ's."
Self Improvement

This is what leads to getting ladies. I should know, I have 3 hot dates this week. Laid back works in the right situation at the right time. However, if used wrongly, it will make you look shy.

Anyways, this website is not about smooth lines and tricks. Of course there are some people on here that want a quick lay. Really, this site is about the road to improving oneself. Getting to the point where you don't NEED a woman to enjoy life. Making yourself a prize. Thats when the women start rolling in...

 

[Bvbidd]

Everything you say is bull**** because you said that an ego turns off women. When that's exactly what keeps them interested.

"Oh.. he's such a jerk.. I wish he was nice."

But she ****s him because she just can't stop thinking of him.

Stop with the bull**** advice such as ask questions.. no teasing.. etc. It's not a ****ing interview.

Yes, being ****y might actually be bad for you and hurt your feelings and you may grow to hate him.. but hate is a whole lot better than you feeling nothing at all.

The only good advice you gave was stop with the lines. It should be natural not some geek memorizing lines to in order to mindcontrol you.

 

[V-Don]

Bvbidd, im not sure if she is really here to even give advice. More so to troll with her hole. These kinds of women are exactly why sites like this exist. So, we don't become "slaves to the pvssy" as she so intelligently put it.

 

[Sexual]

I concur... get a life and everything falls into place.

I was watching "Just Friends" and I thought that was a funny thought, that a guy just suddenly becomes rich, famous, and gets all the girls.

Everything MsDonJuan has said is common sense to most of us. What she doesn't understand is that this site is for every man 1-10's and it is a constant reminder and uplift, at least for me, to act like a man and be a winner in life.

Some guys don't know how to behave or think like "themselves". Some guys just forget some things along the way, and some help others while they're here putting themselves in check. That's why we're here. We're all attempting to get ahead.

 

[Serialized3]

This is garbage.

Looks play a role but I'm assuming most of the guys on this board are average, and with some physical training and style could easily bump themselves up to "cute" "handsome" or even "hot"

Still, a "hot" guy with a boring personality will be outgamed by an average, well groomed man with confidence and something interesting to say. I'd say just be yourself, but make sure your "self" is interesting.

Don't be too ****y, unless you truly are ****y by nature. Don't be fake.

 

[MsDonJuan]

You are assuming that people can rate themselves rationally. There's no way you're a woman, because any woman would know how subjective self-image is. What happens if a 6 thinks he's a zero?

It's not hard to rate oneself rationally. Do what girls do, compare yourselves to models and go from there. Also, I think a guy who is a 6 will eventually get hit on, at least by some drunk girl at a bar.

There's putting down and then there's teasing. I tease, but I've seen putdowns work for others. They might not work on you if you're actually a female, but try not to impute your qualities on every other woman.

I'm definitely not trying to speak for all women, I am just giving my own point of view. It depends on what you're teasing about, your delivery, and the context. I don't think any girl is impressed if a guy teases her in a negative manner.

Define ego... and how do I keep it at bay?

There is a difference between being assertive/confident and having a big ego. Women will think you have a big ego if you constantly put others down and have a condescending tone. She will look at how you act to other people, not just her, to get a better idea of your character. Some people with a big ego just give off that "I'm better than everyone" vibe.. which isn't a turn-on for anybody.

I know so many guys who try to play up that ego sh*t. It's annoying, not attractive.