1). Women have to invest their bodies when it comes to relationships. When you have to invest so much with the repeated trauma from failed relationships, why bother anymore?
2). Most men are dog shvt quality. What is she going to get out of dating an incel or boring beta male loser? Stability? Women already have stability in today's world. In addition, you have a lot of men that are good at putting up an act until she gives up her p-sleeve. This only gets worse as she gets older and acquires more baggage as well.
Combine those 2 points and you can see why femcels are really reluctant to date men.
I have seen Point #1 happen with women 30+. It's rare that women reach involuntary solitude status prior to age 30. Most women 18-29 can find boyfriends if they're even somewhat serious about a boyfriend. A lot of women spend 18-29 riding the penis carousel. A typical mixture of interactions for women 18-29 would be some combination of one night stands, situationships, and the occasional 1-2.5 year long relationship. The women who are reach their late 20s in a solid relationship that might last some amount of time were quite serious about keeping their notch count down and selecting a similarly aged boyfriend who had some very good money/status potential to go alongside their looks or they were something like 25 dating an established 35 year old.
Very few women need the stability that men can offer, which is much different than the era prior to the early to mid 1970s. There are plenty of average frustrated chump, boring beta males that can offer stability. If a woman has a bachelor's degree or good trade certification (think dental hygiene or some sort of medical assistant), she can make a decent living for herself. It might not be a life of luxury, but she can get a passable house herself in a decent neighborhood or an adequate 1-2 bedroom apartment either by herself or with a female roommate. If a woman has a bachelor's or advanced degree and is a careerist, her income might get her a more upscale 1 bedroom apartment or a more upscale condominium/townhouse that she owns alone.
On the other end of the scale, there are plenty of women who rely on government assistance programs. These are often low income single mothers. They are going more for broke, tattooed dirtbag who give them vaginal tingles more so than Beta Bob office worker, who is either incel or borderline incel. In fact, Beta Bobs rarely interact with these lower class women in a leisure time context. Beta Bob only sees this woman in the checkout line of a Walmart or another grocery/retail store.
The women who might need a stable income earner man are women without college degrees or good trade certifications who make just enough money to not qualify for government assistance but not enough to afford decent stuff and have limited to no savings. How many of these women are 30+ and childless? That's a smaller class of women. Most women either fall into one of the two buckets above and the lower class women usually give birth before age 30.
When you go in as a male into dating, the worst you have to lose is money from your bank account. Women have to meet a person that is physically stronger than them which can lead to a lot more potential risk.
Men can endure emotional trauma from a series of rejections. I don't accept the premise that all that happens as a man is that you lose money in dating. Even losing money in dating can cause serious problems. Think of the divorced men whose financial positions have been hurt big time. That's not a simple money loss. Sometimes this can lead to homelessness for men. There are more homeless men than homeless women.
Women do have the potential to get very emotionally messed up from poor dating interactions as well.
Women might have more potential risk only on account of greater risk for rape and sexual assault in the general public.
Women might have more risk in having more notches mess the up more emotionally than most men. If there's a childless man with 20 lifetime notches and a childless woman with 20 lifetime notches, the women is likely to have more emotional problems.
An incel to borderline incel with no to very few lifetime successes can be very messed up from taking a lot of early stage rejections.
I took this 43 year old divorced women out to a nice dinner for her bday last weekend. She was really dressed up with makeup and I was dressed down a little sloppy because we were friends. I’ve tried to make some hard moves on her years ago and she rejected me hard each time, so I didn’t see the need to dress up.
Anyway at dinner, she told me she won’t talk to a guy in a club unless the guy is 6’1 and Brad Pitt look alike. Any other guy that tries to talk to her, she will brush off. I was surprised, I mean, maybe at 23 you could have that power, but at 43? And divorced? I don’t think so.
At 43, her standards are likely too high. If she's 43, divorced, childless and is like 5'7"-5'11" with an athletic physique, she might be able to get some 6'1"+ handsome man who is an 8.5+. She would have to be an 8.5+ herself, which is unlikely. She would also need to offer a really good personality and interactions would her would need to be pleasant and drama free. I don't see that happening. Also, a 45-54 year old tall and handsome guy would probably be inclined to go younger than her (30s) too.