social circle trickiness?

[PlatoPacks23]

so there's someone I'm interested in (continued from this: https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/dealing-w-super-talkative-girl.282725/)

this weekend I saw her again but in a slightly larger group context. it was her, with 4 other friends, 2 of who I knew already, and the other 2 being their significant others. so we were the 2 only "single" people haha. I hadn't met 2 of them before and REALLY enjoyed the group as a whole hanging out with them, from a social circle situation.

it went pretty good but obvs tough to escalate in that sort of scenario. we sat together and talked a lot, and at "times" was definitely a flirty vibe together.

after we went out drinking, she did mention a few times about not having a BF (to the group as a whole) and talked a bit about not having a +1 for certain things. while this was good, she also talked with me about finding someone else we both know (from a class we take) as interesting (and someone IMO tbh think she's more interested in than me)... but to me it feels like she's keeping her options open.

obvious this is long winded, but where to go from here? my gut says she has like some sort of interest in me even if I'm not her obvious type, but at same time I feel like I'm 2nd option to that other guy. And I feel like if things go wrong here, then the social circle within that group makes it awkward to hang with them anymore.

I'm not sure where to go, it's obviously tougher when you get extremely high interest from a girl rather than this which feels more mixed at best. it goes against most advice here, but it seems like the most natural way for this to go is to continue to hang out with the LARGER group and get to know her better, rather than forcing her into a "date" scenario where she feels less comfortable. and the group thing seems like it could be a natural progression where I'm just constantly seeing her every weekend if not more so.

 

[Clockwerk50]

It does seem like she is intrigued by you. The approach is still the same: ask her out for a low-pressure activity. You have 2 options:

1. Wait for her to reach out or initiate contact. You can then say something like, "Hey, how about we grab a coffee or take a walk in the park?"
2. You could text her to check in, saying, "What's up? How’s it going? Want to grab a coffee sometime?

She will most likely ask whether the other people will be joining, you can respond with, "No, just the two of us for a change.". Let her know that if she can't make it, it's totally fine—no pressure.

 

[holidayad_]

so there's someone I'm interested in (continued from this: https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/dealing-w-super-talkative-girl.282725/)

this weekend I saw her again but in a slightly larger group context. it was her, with 4 other friends, 2 of who I knew already, and the other 2 being their significant others. so we were the 2 only "single" people haha. I hadn't met 2 of them before and REALLY enjoyed the group as a whole hanging out with them, from a social circle situation.

it went pretty good but obvs tough to escalate in that sort of scenario. we sat together and talked a lot, and at "times" was definitely a flirty vibe together.

after we went out drinking, she did mention a few times about not having a BF (to the group as a whole) and talked a bit about not having a +1 for certain things. while this was good, she also talked with me about finding someone else we both know (from a class we take) as interesting (and someone IMO tbh think she's more interested in than me)... but to me it feels like she's keeping her options open.

obvious this is long winded, but where to go from here? my gut says she has like some sort of interest in me even if I'm not her obvious type, but at same time I feel like I'm 2nd option to that other guy. And I feel like if things go wrong here, then the social circle within that group makes it awkward to hang with them anymore.

I'm not sure where to go, it's obviously tougher when you get extremely high interest from a girl rather than this which feels more mixed at best. it goes against most advice here, but it seems like the most natural way for this to go is to continue to hang out with the LARGER group and get to know her better, rather than forcing her into a "date" scenario where she feels less comfortable. and the group thing seems like it could be a natural progression where I'm just constantly seeing her every weekend if not more so.

I'm not a big fan of going out in a group with a possible plate.

Who suggested that? Her?

If so, it's an indication that she wants friendship or just an orbiter, especially if you feel you're not her first choice. The (probably only) good thing about hanging out with her social circle is that you can become closer to her girlfriends.

You may become her FWB. But for that to happen, you have to keep playing this game. Patience will be essential.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Why are you going on group dates like her gay friend?

 

[PlatoPacks23]

Why are you going on group dates like her gay friend?

Did not realize she was even coming lol, she didn’t either

moving forward I’m not doing that but I honestly really liked her group tbh

and everyone else was in couples besides us so had time to talk 1 on 1

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Did not realize she was even coming lol, she didn’t either

moving forward I’m not doing that but I honestly really liked her group tbh

and everyone else was in couples besides us so had time to talk 1 on 1

Meh...you are basically friendzoning yourself.

 

[PlatoPacks23]

I'm not a big fan of going out in a group with a possible plate.

Who suggested that? Her?

If so, it's an indication that she wants friendship or just an orbiter, especially if you feel you're not her first choice. The (probably only) good thing about hanging out with her social circle is that you can become closer to her girlfriends.

You may become her FWB. But for that to happen, you have to keep playing this game. Patience will be essential.

no a mutual friend of ours wanted me to hang out so I did, I didn’t realize she was even coming

 

[PlatoPacks23]

Meh...you are basically friendzoning yourself.

well yeah what I’m saying now is I won’t be doing these “group” things even though it was a fun group

 

[Hamurabimbi]

my experience with SC is that girls are not ambiguous. As an example:
We had a gaming group of about 6-12 people that met once a week at a girl’s place (she had a man). A new girl (Tina) showed up. We all played. Two days later the hostess called me and said ‘Tina thinks you’re cute. Here’s her number.’.

 

[zekko]

well yeah what I’m saying now is I won’t be doing these “group” things even though it was a fun group

If you like hanging out with them, I don't see anything wrong with continuing to do so. As long as you get your time isolated with the girl as well.

 

[PlatoPacks23]

If you like hanging out with them, I don't see anything wrong with continuing to do so. As long as you get your time isolated with the girl as well.

yes maybe a combo

 

[Bingo-Player]

Frame sounds like its been set out wrong from the start

With you both being the only single members the rest of the circle would in theory be trying to set you both up

In my experiences this type of forced engagement rarely ends well as theres too much pressure

I would just back off and leave it , if she wants to circle back she will

 

[BackInTheGame78]

my experience with SC is that girls are not ambiguous. As an example:
We had a gaming group of about 6-12 people that met once a week at a girl’s place (she had a man). A new girl (Tina) showed up. We all played. Two days later the hostess called me and said ‘Tina thinks you’re cute. Here’s her number.’.

Hopefully you fvcked the life out of Tina...if she was good looking at least

 

[Barrister]

Social circle can definitely be tricky. Some women feel more comfortable dating someone within, other women are more on guard for that very same reason. You will have to gauge where this woman falls in that.

That said, the only way you probably know this for sure (short of her saying something to one of your mutual friends), is to get her isolated at least in small amounts during these outings. It doesn't need to be an aggressive approach. Make it natural. You could probably get away with not even asking for a number and putting feelers out after the fact. That is the beauty of social circle game is that you have a bit of a cheat code on because things are much more forgiving and you can rely on others.

Me? I would still be direct and ask for her number myself. She likely gives it to you and then asks one of your mutual friends about you who (hopefully) gives a glowing report. You then get the date after that. Just don't try to have something blossom only from the group settings -- because that won't work.