So many flakes/attention *****s

[Floridaboy23]

The last few weeks have been so up and down it's not even funny. I'll admit I've had TOO MUCH time on my hands and have been too reliant on the internet in recent months but I've never been flaked out on so much. The hottest chick I was talking to has kept me at bay...the few times I've called her since the first time, she won't pick up or call back. Then she leaves me comments on myspace about how good I look and even has a picture of herself that I think she did to copy one of mine....uses things I've said for captions under her pics but our contact has been reduced to the net now even though I'm sure we would have a lot of fun together. Another chick I had phonesex with a few nights ago kept going on and on about how she wanted to come over **** me the next day (yesterday)....then I call her up and leave a message only to find out later that she deleted me from her friend list for some odd reason. I was later to find out that she "wasn't ready for sex with me like she thought", said the phonesex thing was a game to her and that she suddenly realized I'm not her type. lol Seems like I'm in the most absurd situations where girls are really impressed, or want to trick me into thinking so, before they totally flake out or do something drastic like that.

Yesterday, a pest control lady came to my house and caught me off guard. I came out when she was done to sign off for her. A little squirrel was following her around, latching onto her leg and we made conversation for like 15 minutes....seemed like the squirrel was a good excuse for her to stick around. I think she liked talking even though the squirrel was a good excuse.. So she took the squirrel home with her and before she left I got her number. She's an older woman....the only kind I ever really have success with. I think it's partly because young girls are just too scattered even though they may be impressed at first and partly because they're reluctant about the internet. Either way, really negative, defeating situations arise out of nowhere just when I think I'm about to get something going. I find I usually can get the number but soon afterward find myself having to throw away the number and forget I ever got it. The phonesex girl and girls like her totally re-instill all my past bitterness toward women that I've tried to overcome and be positive in spite of. Leaving me feel Almost attractive, almost charming, Almost the great catch....and almost totally exhausted. How do I emerge gloriously out of all the bullsh!t? As positive and attractive as I think I've been lately, it's like the same old pattern is just on repeat...beating the dead horse to death over and over. Just like when I was depressed and bitter all the time, it's no different although I've gotten so much better at talking to girls than I was then. Why can't I escape all those hang-ups? I've scored with hot older women and still don't feel like the pimp I should be. I thought the younger ones would be a piece of cake by now.

 

[wayword]

Actually, these young girls give mixed signals on purpose (cuz they enjoy all the mere attention/validation alone) - but you could also do the very same thing back!

 

[Floridaboy23]

true...maybe I haven't done enough of that. And perhaps I've been all too interested/sincere about wanting to talk to them. I'm not the best at playing the game and sometimes I forget to pull back a little at the right time. Maybe the reason the really hot chick was interested at first was the fact that I really seemed like a great guy to possess....not totally attainable but interested. And over the course of a week or two, I've probably persisted too much, validating her status as the prize and not myself so much even though I say some original things which I think would make me look more valuable. I guess sometimes I'm afraid if I send some other signal....like if I told the girl she's "just a dork who wants attention"...that would put her off even more so I play it safe.

 

[vorbis]

sad to say that with a lot of young America women you can't play it straight up. Thats not meant to be derogatory, game playing is rige thats all. I've made the mistake of being too honest a good few times.

I had one chick really into me and I met up with her twice in the first week (second time was a party she was hosting) Me turning up at the party seemed to broadcast that i was too attainable and i wasn't a challenge. I just thought it would be a good party! Thats how they think though, you need her unsure as to whether you really want her.

 

[milrenkb]

I say you need to try and build a little more comfort when you first meet these girls. Your going to have to be more than the guy that she had a few good laughs with. If a girl feels like there could be a real connection (no matter what her goals are; relationship, sex buddy, tennis partner that she has sex with) then she won't flake and if she does than shes just immature.

Also this discovery was a huge turnaround for me. I use to do what David D and Mystery suggested by getting on the phone, setting up a meet (or in some cases trying to set up a meet), then getting off. Now I use the phone to reconnect with her, get a few good laughs, and if I still like her than I set up a meet (cred. Juggler). This takes about 15 minutes but my flake rate has gone down to about 1 out of 5 (used to be about 3 out of 5).

Plus when you get a girls number have her enter it in your phone, then repeat the number with one of the numbers wrong (if she corrects you its her real number), then call it (with her still there), afterwards you can say there now you have my number. The logic being that people in general are more likely to screen calls from people they don't know. Plus depending on the girl (and the success of the interaction) you can leave a message on her phone while shes there standing next to you and if your game was tight enough she'll participate in the message (this is also a good time to tease her a little). This will insure that she'll remember you and when she goes to her voicemail she'll be able to relive the interaction.

Hope this helps.