Smashing the LJBF barrier

[DarkChaos]

I'm interested in how it turns out. Are you sure you two were actually friends or that you were LJBF'd before this though? In any case, I hope it works, because if you can do it then I can do it.

Didn't she get weirded out when you just started acting all sexually towards her when before you didn't?

 

[virtual_insanity]

**** ME....

she's been away for a week to a town where there is a lot of parties/hot guys, i just got a message from her sayin "hey hot stuff, guess how many boys i kissed last night"

i sent back "none, u couldn't find any that compared to me"

but am thinkin now, what the **** kinda message was she sendin.....

 

[Deadly_Assassin]

Virtual, I like your attitude on how you just didn't give up on that one chick you really wanted, even though everyone told you to NEXT her. My question to you is, do you want her because your ego was hurt when she LJBFed you or because you really like her and your friendship is really deep and bla bla bla?

 

[d9930380]

You are a safe boyfriend. Safe because your someone that she hasn't commited to so therefore if someone else comes along better, she will be off without having to say sorry for hurting your feelings. But also a boyfriend because your a guy who gives her the attention and the love of a boyfriend.

I've been there and done all what your describing. I know you don't THINK that she's effecting you with other girls but you seem to really like her so I can't imagine how she couldn't be, again I thought the same thing, I even went out on the pull with her. Although everything I did was to provoke a reaction from her, everything I did was because of her even though I didn't realise it at the time. In the end I was tired off it and ended hooking up with a VERY hot girl when she wasn't around and decided I needed to move on. So I needed a clean break and told her. She was ripping and jealous and I had moved on so I didn't even want to know about her protests etc. I actually HAD moved on.

What I realised is that you have to get a semi-serious gf but make her think that this girl is the ONE. Drop all contact because you're too busy with this girl and it wouldn't be appropriate because the other girl is jealous. Wait a few weeks, meet up, get her drunk and let her come after you. Don't give in immediately, tease her, let her work for it. It will make you more desirable - take it small steps at a time and then say that you really love your gf and we can't do this etc. etc.

She has to think this gf is special though because she has to think that she might loose you and you have to wait with no contact to give her the experience of losing you. If this doesn't work, what happened was she realised she COULD live without you and you're always going to JBFs.

It also helps if the other girl is hotter ;-)

Basically **** with her head.

 

[d9930380]

virtual_insanity - About the message, She's showing you how desirable she is. She's making you jealous. She's trying to put you back in the friendzone. It's all a sign that your getting to her - your moving out of the friendzone. Don't worry about that, it's a good thing. She probably didn't snog anyone, notice it was in a place where you weren't.

Funny. You gotta love how girls think.

 

[d9930380]

BTW - I'll place a bet that she WILL be yours within a few weeks.

 

[virtual_insanity]

Virtual, I like your attitude on how you just didn't give up on that one chick you really wanted, even though everyone told you to NEXT her. My question to you is, do you want her because your ego was hurt when she LJBFed you or because you really like her and your friendship is really deep and bla bla bla?

she is an experiment to me at the moment, just brought home and ****ed a beautiful french girl, even used photos of my my LJBF girl and me in my phone to seduce her, the french girl was like "oh my, she is so pretty and u two look good together" to which i replied "yeah, we look great together but i don't really have that passion for her, you know, that feeling that makes you just want to tear off somebody's clothes and make love to them" then looked her in the eyes and smiled, this is where we made out some more


.....anyway back to the LJBF girl, i got a message from her saying she kissed 20 of the hottest boys there, i didn't reply, 20? she is an absolute stunner so i think she just might have, but why the hell is she tellin me, and what the **** am i supposed to reply to that "...um well done you slut" lol?

I don't know how to react to this, i considered an option of

A) freezin her out and goin cold on her (cancel meetin up with her and go to events which she's not goin to etc, not givin her attention...)

B) Act like i've lost a lot of respect for her, for kissin 20 guys

C) continue on with what we had before she left (really really close, spendin heaps of time together)

 

[WesCottII]

Say "Respect". It's a style tip.

 

[MindHunter]

There exists within this site somewhere a very good write up on how to break the LJBF barrier but I will summarize briefly based on my flawed memory of the article.

1) You need to have supream control of your balls. I mean it your head has to be calling ALL the shots.

2) You need to be doing all the DJ moves with OTHER girls, you need to be getting kissed (discreetly don't rub her nose in it) which will help with step 1.

3) Basically you give her what she wants aka your friendship but on YOUR terms. You are her special friend but you don't break dates to go hang with her. IF you are managing your DJ stuff you will have the other girls and if you have the other girls you will be desirable to her.

4) At some point get very close to her as a "friend" light physical contact etc but all within the close friends thing with no "sexual" just closeness type physical contact etc. See step 1 if you don't have step 1 you lose BIG on this step.

5) Now that you have her hooked you skip town so to speak. Break contact find other things to be doing. Don't break any dates but just don't be around for a bit. She either breaks and decides she wants more of step 4 or you didn't break the barrier. If she wants more of step 4 just explain to her that you feel that it wouldn't be right to just play around with someone you are so close to and you explain that you are happy being friend but if she wants more it has to be the whole thing and describe it on YOUR terms and then have the balls to say no if she wants more but not enought more.

The article is very good......find it if you can =)

anyone found the full article? id really like to look at the full article, but i havent found it .
btw, do you all agree with this way to break the LJBF barrier?
thanks in advance ^^

 

[MindHunter]

bump.
come on people, answer my question

 

[Buck Rogers]

i dunno man, i think that you have to know the plan and have nothing distract you from it especially not her.

The problem most people have with this is that they dont even know they are in the friendzone, but i will look for that article.

 

[donjuanapprentice01]

I've been in the friendzone more times than you can imagine. And it isn't easy. I hope you can pull this off virtualinsanity... and it looks good so far.

As for me, I have a "friend" also, the one I want to get with more than you can imagine. So, we had a good weekend (no, actually f*in GREAT weekend), spent All day Saturday, Sunday and Monday together. And now... WHAMO! I have cut all contact, blocked her on MSN, will not return any of her calls. My bday is coming up in 3 weeks, so we shall see what happens.

 

[Buck Rogers]

I've been in the friendzone more times than you can imagine. And it isn't easy. I hope you can pull this off virtualinsanity... and it looks good so far.

why the **** didnt you learn the first time?? Jesus

spent All day Saturday, Sunday and Monday together. And now... WHAMO! I have cut all contact, blocked her on MSN, will not return any of her calls. My bday is coming up in 3 weeks, so we shall see what happens.

so you have hang out with a chick for 3 days in a row without any phtysical contact whatsoeva. but its all gunna change cuz youve blocked her from msn?

No buddy, not gunna happen, cutting off contact from a "friend" is like trying to give up masturbation, your always gunna have a little go at it!

just cut yur losses and move on.

 

[virtual_insanity]

so she's back, i've decided that her kissing 20 hot guys makes me lose respect for her, because it does, so when she called me i was semi interested in the conversation, she asked if something was wrong and got all insecure on me, could hear how much she wanted to see me in her voice, i told her i was goin out tonight i might catch up with her on the weekend, she said "no i'll definitely see you tonight, i'll call you later", should be interesting....

 

[IsiMan84]

In other words, bring a 3-pack along because she's probably going to do everything short of ripping your díck off, haha.

 

[virtual_insanity]

completely blew up in my face, i told her i had lost respect for her for kissing that many guys, she went skitzo saying i had no right to give her crap when i do the exact same thing (which is bs, maybe one/two girls on average a week)

she stormed out of the venue, i caught her at the door and said we needed to sort this out, she ranted about how she never seemed to be good enough for me then walked off on me, just as the rain started to pour, it was so awesome, like a movie, i felt funny because i should have been sad but i was too busy thinking how cool it was, i love this melodrama crap, it's ****in awesome.

 

[nitty gritty]

Glad that you manage to find the bright side, but man, did you blow it! :moon:
I agree completely with the following post by d9930380:

She's showing you how desirable she is. She's making you jealous. She's trying to put you back in the friendzone. It's all a sign that your getting to her - your moving out of the friendzone. Don't worry about that, it's a good thing. She probably didn't snog anyone, notice it was in a place where you weren't.

Only, it was probably even better than that: it sounds like she was give you an explicit sexual clue, which you missed like a complete jerk (sorry, it's my debut post and all and I don't wanna be rude, but it is not for the sake of sparing harsh words and making each other feel better that we are here, are we?). Your reaction betrays lack of confidence and trust, your seriousness (always a negative thing, mind...) - you should have flirted your way through this - and your being stuck in age old patriarchical shovinist conceptions which deprive women of their sexuality. Now it seems like you're through with her, unless she's, like, really in love with you (an option I wouldn't discard).

Generally speaking - I think it is possible to break out of the FriendZone, but only after upgrading yourself to the status of a true artist who is in full control of his thoughts, emotions, body language etc. For those of us who only begin to master the basics (like myself), or are at an intermidiate level (sounds to be the case with you, virtual_insanity), it seems preferable to check out the other fish in the sea. Heck, it's more rewarding...

 

[blueguy]

completely blew up in my face, i told her i had lost respect for her for kissing that many guys, she went skitzo saying i had no right to give her crap when i do the exact same thing (which is bs, maybe one/two girls on average a week)

she stormed out of the venue, i caught her at the door and said we needed to sort this out, she ranted about how she never seemed to be good enough for me then walked off on me, just as the rain started to pour, it was so awesome, like a movie, i felt funny because i should have been sad but i was too busy thinking how cool it was, i love this melodrama crap, it's ****in awesome.

lol. The key is indifference. Not caring. Oh well, still interesting.

I think you could have gotten out. I just think you took it too fast. She knew you were trying to get out because you sped things up. She can't know that... She can't know you like her... She has to show compliance first. And even then, you have to reject the initial compliance to confirm your higher value. And then only give attention when there's intimacy involved. It's the only way out.

 

[Reloaded]

"i can't, it feels like i'm kissing my brother"

ROFFL! You got owned! Also, learn how to use this thing called a "period".

:moon:

 

[virtual_insanity]

ROFFL! You got owned! Also, learn how to use this thing called a "period".

:moon:

I don't see any constructive criticism or intelligent addition to the subject matter in your post, therefore making me guess it was an attempt at being funny to get some attention, how very afc of you.

Anybody have any real advice, I don't want anythin to do with her at the moment, but that makes me an emotional reactive guy, but on the other hand should i be sending her the message it's okay to kiss twenty guys?