Simplicity

[Bokanovsky]

Get out of your heads and into your lives. Joy exists only in the here and now. Not the past and not the future.

This reminds of a song I heard on the radio recently:

I'm feeling rough I'm feeling raw I'm in the prime of my life
Let's make some music make some money find some models for wives
I'll move to Paris, shoot some heroin and fvck with the stars
You man the island and the cocaine and the elegant cars

This is our decision to live fast and die young
We've got the vision, now let's have some fun
Yeah it's overwhelming, but what else can we do?
Get jobs in offices and wake up for the morning commute?

From what you've written about yourself, you do not appear to be young. And you certainly do not appear to be dead. So I'm inclined to think that you do not really practice what you preach, i.e. that "joy exits only in the here and now". Those who live by that motto typically don't make it past 30.

 

[Tenacity]

But your attitude is precisely why any woman of even moderate quality and self-respect would never make themselves available to you.

So I want to ask you a question, as this argument has been thrown out there and you seem like a more REASONABLE person to discuss this with.

With the statement of: "Your attitude is bad and that's why decent/quality women aren't making themselves available to you".....How do you know what a guy's attitude, personality, and vibe is when he's directly in front of women?

Granted, let's say on a discussion forum or blog, he has a more dark, or negative, or aggressive tone.......but what makes you think he doesn't display a completely "different style/tone" when he's actually in front of women?

For example, you heard of Pharma Reps, right? Well, I know a lot of guys in that industry and when they are together (not in front of their bosses or doctors) these guys have the most negative, dark, etc., view of the industry, the doctors, the office staff, etc., imaginable. But.....when they get in front of doctors, the staff, and their bosses........they go into a completely different "DISPLAY" where you wouldn't think that secretly they felt that way about the industry at all. They are happy, upbeat, positive, and just general all around GOOD people to be around when they get in front of clients and upper management.

So can you really assume that the way a guy speaks to other MEN on this forum about women, is the same way he presents himself when in FRONT of women? Isn't this forum just another version of Locker Room Talk? I would get in front of a group of guys in the Locker Room and talk about how I BEAT THAT BYTCH'S BACK IN, but I'm not about to say that same shyt in the same way in front of the actual girl I'm fvcking.

 

[BeExcellent]

Can you go into more detail?

From what you've written about yourself, you do not appear to be young. And you certainly do not appear to be dead. So I'm inclined to think that you do not really practice what you preach, i.e. that "joy exits only in the here and now". Those who live by that motto typically don't make it past 30.

I wanted to address these two posts. No I am not young, I am nearly 49. I have seen people live like the lyrics of the song posted, but most of those people who I witnessed living lives of partying and drugs were actually deeply unhappy people. I have spoken a little here about the male model I dated prior to my ex-husband. He died in fact of an overdose (I heard about it years after the fact) and it was very sad as he was a beautiful human being with a big heart. He got into the party lifestyle as a salve to address the deep sense of lack he had about his own life.

People find happiness and joy and meaning in all sorts of different things. There is joy in holding a new helpless newborn who is utterly dependent upon you for life itself, there is joy in laughter with friends, there is joy in the way rain splatters the water in a lake, in the way quail run along my backyard wall, there is beauty everywhere. In NYC I love to sleep with the window open so I can hear the sirens and the trucks and the rumble of the subway and the white noise that IS the breath of New York City. So to assume the position that live fast/die young is the message is not what I am saying at all.

I know someone who knows Sir Richard Branson, or "Beardy" as he is known in closer circles. What my friend told me about his interactions with Branson is that when Branson conversed with him, it was as though he was the only person who existed in the world, Branson was utterly focused on him, and he recalled how "seen" and how "heard" he felt in that conversation. I personally know politicians who also give off this aura. It makes people feel important, seen, heard, recognized.

That recognition comes from the person being focused on the present moment, on being there, not distracted by some other thought about something else...it makes the present moment the only priority. I see people who interact in this way with others. I strive to interact in this way with others...the man I date is magnetic and dynamic and this is a large part of why. He's fully enjoying the moment and being fully present in it. So am I. At my advanced salsa class they do a social dance after the teaching portion has concluded. A couple of days ago I danced with the instructor. We laughed and joked and played throughout the dance...being cheeky and cute, and just going right on if I missed a cue or if things weren't perfect. And that took about 4 minutes. It was a joyfully 4 minutes after 3+ hours of joyful dancing.

It doesn't matter WHAT you are doing. Be fully present doing THAT.

I spent years concentrating on future planning rather than paying attention to the here and now. What properties was I going to buy, what lender was I going to work with, what clients could I garner, what were my 1 year goals, my 5 year goals, how was I going to implement and execute. ALWAYS future focused, always critically thinking. Meanwhile I was pregnant three times, meanwhile my babies were born & became toddlers and school aged and playing sports, and playing instruments...and growing up. I missed so many MOMENTS while I was rushing toward something out in the future...and those moments are gone now. I didn't miss everything, don't misunderstand, but I missed more than I should have had I simply slowed down and trusted that all the rest could wait on the NOW. Because it can.

I don't have regret either, but rather I have gained understanding. Mine is a cautionary tale in that way, which is why I started the thread. Don't miss out on today being over wrought about tomorrow. Tomorrow is NOT guaranteed and may not arrive. Enjoy today and the present moment fully.

 

[Bokanovsky]

I have spoken a little here about the male model I dated prior to my ex-husband. He died in fact of an overdose (I heard about it years after the fact) and it was very sad as he was a beautiful human being with a big heart. He got into the party lifestyle as a salve to address the deep sense of lack he had about his own life.
...

I spent years concentrating on future planning rather than paying attention to the here and now. What properties was I going to buy, what lender was I going to work with, what clients could I garner, what were my 1 year goals, my 5 year goals, how was I going to implement and execute. ALWAYS future focused, always critically thinking. Meanwhile I was pregnant three times, meanwhile my babies were born & became toddlers and school aged and playing sports, and playing instruments...and growing up. I missed so many MOMENTS while I was rushing toward something out in the future...and those moments are gone now. I didn't miss everything, don't misunderstand, but I missed more than I should have had I simply slowed down and trusted that all the rest could wait on the NOW. Because it can.

Contrast the two passages that I clipped from your post above. You spent years planning for the future and thinking critically and now you feel like you missed out on "enjoying the moment". Your male model ex-boyfriend got into drugs and the party lifestyle because of a deep sense of lack about his own life. If, like you, he was preoccupied with planning for the future, investing, trying to make more money, do you think he would have gotten into that kind of lifestyle? No, because he wouldn't have had time for that. Likewise, who knows how your life would have turned out if you tried to "live the moment' when you were young.

Time is a funny thing. People who are busy feel like they don't have enough of it and that they are missing out on life. And people who have too much time on their hand get bored and develop self-destructive tendencies.

 

[exhausted]

Not so sure why some of you guys are sleighting a poster who inspires and brings positivity to the forum as opposed to the everyday bitterness predominating the forum.

Shows a lot about the men posting here.

Yep.

And to call a poster a beta for communicating with her. Just ridiculous.
She helped me a bit last year with some perspective.

I bet my life that I could physically make that tough guy beg me not to break his neck.

Who would be a beta then?

 

[BeExcellent]

You spent years planning for the future and thinking critically and now you feel like you missed out on "enjoying the moment".

You are inferring things about my motivation that I have not said and that I do not experience. There ARE things that I missed. But I don't FEEL like I missed out on things. I don't feel regret at all. Factually I missed stuff. It is what it is. I did live in the moment much of the time when I was young. It was a blast and I have great friends and great memories as a result. It was later I moved away from that and focused TOO much on the future and not enough on the now.

Your male model ex-boyfriend got into drugs and the party lifestyle because of a deep sense of lack about his own life. If, like you, he was preoccupied with planning for the future, investing, trying to make more money, do you think he would have gotten into that kind of lifestyle? No, because he wouldn't have had time for that.

The model was wildly ambitious and very successful both as a model and as a businessman.

Obviously he was extremely good looking. The problems he had arose from issues with self-esteem that were deep seated and established in his youth which arose from his family circumstance and self worth (or lack thereof). He was extremely intelligent for example, much smarter than many college educated people, far more successful too but because he didn't have a college degree he felt he was "less than". He was extremely handsome but was terribly neurotic and insecure about his appearance. I think his exposure to the modeling industry exacerbated this problem because that industry is fearsomely shallow and full of rejection. Rejection reinforced his own self image of being "less than". He carried pain around inside about these things. I think he worked as much as he did to try and cover his pain, I think he got into drugs as a means to cover his pain, and at the same time he could never tell as he got more and more successful whether women were interested in him for his looks and his money...or for him as a person. As I've said about him before, people saw the money and the handsome package but missed the person who lived inside that beautiful package. Again, you are jumping to conclusions that I have not put forth. You are missing the larger point of the OP.

 

[TheProspect]

So I want to ask you a question, as this argument has been thrown out there and you seem like a more REASONABLE person to discuss this with.

With the statement of: "Your attitude is bad and that's why decent/quality women aren't making themselves available to you".....How do you know what a guy's attitude, personality, and vibe is when he's directly in front of women?

Granted, let's say on a discussion forum or blog, he has a more dark, or negative, or aggressive tone.......but what makes you think he doesn't display a completely "different style/tone" when he's actually in front of women?

For example, you heard of Pharma Reps, right? Well, I know a lot of guys in that industry and when they are together (not in front of their bosses or doctors) these guys have the most negative, dark, etc., view of the industry, the doctors, the office staff, etc., imaginable. But.....when they get in front of doctors, the staff, and their bosses........they go into a completely different "DISPLAY" where you wouldn't think that secretly they felt that way about the industry at all. They are happy, upbeat, positive, and just general all around GOOD people to be around when they get in front of clients and upper management.

So can you really assume that the way a guy speaks to other MEN on this forum about women, is the same way he presents himself when in FRONT of women? Isn't this forum just another version of Locker Room Talk? I would get in front of a group of guys in the Locker Room and talk about how I BEAT THAT BYTCH'S BACK IN, but I'm not about to say that same shyt in the same way in front of the actual girl I'm fvcking.

Short answer: I don’t know what a guy’s attitude is like when I’m not present. I won’t pretend I do.

However, I’ve observed a correlation between men who show the attitudes you and Urbanyst exhibit and the lack of quality women they’ve come across in their lives. This observation of a correlation extends beyond the content posted to a public forum behind an anonymous username, but also what I’ve observed in my personal life. I have friends and acquaintances with similar attitudes and worldviews as you and Urbanyst, and they reach the same conclusions as you guys do regarding the quality of women in the “market” and about women in general. I’m not saying the perspectives you and Urbanyst offer are wrong, there’s a lot of validity to them, and I am not in the same geographical “markets” as you guys are... I’m just saying I’ve noticed a correlation between your attitudes and the presence of even one quality women. I’ll go a step further, let’s concede that your guys markets are as bad as you say they are. It is not productive to hold contempt for women for simply being women, and it is not productive to create blanket statements that suggest your subjective experiences with women in your particular markets override the experiences of other men.

When I was a teenager and for the first year or so of my 20’s I was extremely cynical towards women. I wouldn’t say I necessarily hated them, but I definitely generalized them in a negative light and I took their behaviour personally. I’ve even been wrongly thrown in jail for a few weeks over false accusations from a woman. You could imagine what my impression of women looked like at the time. And because of my attitude with women, i constantly attracted sh!tty women into my life who turned out to have sh!tty behaviour. I operated on the same frequency as women with poor behaviour, because my behaviour itself was poor, and my perceptions of women were confirmed with every new woman who behaviour eventually turned out congruent with my preconceived notions of them. My expectations became self-fulfilled prophecies. As a result, I held contempt for women in general. I thought I had them figured out, and as long as I maintained that paradigm, I would never be have had a quality women give me the time of day. I would have been operating on a completely frequency.

Over the past 3 years, my attitudes and perspectives on life and women gradually evolved. While I’ve become more aware of the nature of women, I’ve paradoxically became less bitter of them. Not much has changed regarding my looks and finances in those 3 years, but my attitude has. I attribute my attitude, increased confidence and emotional intelligence as the primary factors that have influenced the quality of women available in my life today. I’m not saying they magically appeared out of nowhere through the law of attraction.

I don’t mind you or Urbanyst at all. And I value a lot of your guys perspectives on prioritizing and improving ourselves. But there’s an underlying tone in some of your content that reeks of bitterness and disdain towards women. You both go on to assert the lack of quality women in your lives. I don’t know if it’s just a coincidence, just the market, or a direct result of your attitudes. But it gives the impression that you guys are miserable and go through a lot of emotional turbulence as a result of your views of women, and I mean no disrespect when I say that.

At the end of the day, our view of quality is subjective. Our experiences with the women in our markets and our lives are subjective experiences. I’m not going to say your reality is wrong and my reality is right, if any of us claimed our reality was truly an objective reality, we’d be lying. If a member of this forum repeatedly turns discussions into unconstructive arguments with no intention to consider the other sides ideas, or intentionally seeks conflict or to trigger others over trivial things (both of which Urbanyst is guilty of), I feel it diminishes the quality of their content and reduces others willingness to learn from them or at least remain open-minded to their ideas and content. Nobody likes having a conversation with a stubborn pr!ck.




Note: I’m not sure if I adequately addressed what you asked me. I’m on my phone in my school library (which is loud as hell for a library) and I couldn’t gather my thoughts for more than a few seconds at a time.

 

[Dingo]

This Thread is very interesting...

I'm an older, pretty decent looking, successful and many of those other things that would make me happy... I'm not. The older I'm getting I'm less happy more full of regrets. One thing I've learned from here and other sites.... Happiness is fleeting. What you think is great now.... good possibility could be bad down the line.

As many of you know from my past threads or posts I'm currently in a lose lose situation.... Right now I'm trying to figure what degree of suck I'm going to have to live with. Trying to be positive.... Trying not to go into a tail spin.

Life... Oh joy.

 

[Tenacity]

However, I’ve observed a correlation between men who show the attitudes you and Urbanyst exhibit and the lack of quality women they’ve come across in their lives. This observation of a correlation extends beyond the content posted to a public forum behind an anonymous username, but also what I’ve observed in my personal life. I have friends and acquaintances with similar attitudes and worldviews as you and Urbanyst, and they reach the same conclusions as you guys do regarding the quality of women in the “market” and about women in general. I’m not saying the perspectives you and Urbanyst offer are wrong, there’s a lot of validity to them, and I am not in the same geographical “markets” as you guys are... I’m just saying I’ve noticed a correlation between your attitudes and the presence of even one quality women.

Got it and that's a good point. However, can we agree that correlation does not guarantee causation?

You might indeed know guys in your personal life with the same attitude as Tenacity in regards to the LTR Market. However:

- Have those guys dated/fvcked over 200 women since March 2010? Or, do they struggle to get dates and women in general?

- Do women mainly say those men are attractive, or do women pretty much ignore them and reject them? Despite our disagreement on topics, the women on this board (@BeExcellent and @sazc ) both said I was physically attractive with a nice body and a nice smile. They seen my dating profiles and half naked pics, both of them said I was physically attractive and they don't agree with me on nearly ANY topic lol, so I know they weren't just "saying" that just to "spare my feelings". They said the same them that most women say when they see me.

- Are those guys financially well-off? Or can they barely rub two nickels together? I'm not rich, but I'm damn sure not poor and my net worth is pretty high. When you just factor in my Generation (Millennials), which would be an honestly more fair comparison, I'm in the High Achiever Category, top 5% to 10% in financial standing.

- Do these guys have any form of social network, business network, and related social proof? Members on this website have connected with me on LinkedIn and seen my network, I've also talked to some guys off of here to verify my other forms of social networks. I have also uploaded myself with PLATES on here and I can add MORE PICS of me with recent plates if you want?

What I'm saying is this.......Tenacity might feel the LTR market is trash and the guys you know personally might be saying the same thing, but it DOES NOT MEAN we are saying it for the same reason.

There's a lot of FRAUDS in the MGTOW Movement. You have two different types of MGTOWs:

1.) You have some that are Frauds, as in, these are guys who are broke, ugly, fat, with no networks....talking about "the market is bad", when the unattractive fvck doesn't even COMPETE nor measure on the market.

2.) Then you have the guys who do look good, have their shyt together, and can get women, but the women just aren't bringing much to the table in terms of quality/value characteristics that make it a "good deal" to either settle down/commit to them exclusively or get married.

 

[TheProspect]

Got it and that's a good point. However, can we agree that correlation does not guarantee causation?

Yes. I’ll concede and we can agree that correlation does not guarantee causation.

I was merely pointing out a personal observation, not necessarily making a statement of fact.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Get out of your heads and into your lives.

The whole point of forums like this is most guys have no idea how to do that, or are too terrified to leave their brains and get out into the world.

Unfortunately, you can't just give vague advice to just "get out of your heads."

It sounds great, and you get props from guys who CAN do that, but it doesn't really help guys who can't.

You may believe you are uplifting people, but you sure seem to use plenty of examples of how hot, rich and upper class you are to deliver that uplifting message.

It is possible to teach somebody how to play the piano without consistently demonstrating your superhero piano playing skills.

 

[devilkingx2]

Was chatting with someone via PM

If guys are orbiting you on here, I can only imagine what it's like in the field.

Who are the forums beta males that are sliding in beexcellents PMs lol.
Pathetic.

Snapchat me that pvssy
or FaceTime me that pvssy if it's
cool

"we're going on a weenie hunt! And don't think we don't know how to weeeeeed 'em out!"
*goofy goober theme song plays*

 

[Urbanyst]

You’re quite the unhappy, miserable, and lonely man aren’t you. I don’t think you could prove to me you’re not.

I hear ya.

To tell you a little secret.. there are times when I'm alone at home making snow angels with my MONEY and a tear will roll down my cheek.

There is a lot of sadness inside my friend..

LOL.

You don’t care for constructive debate, you are simply a narrow minded 33 year old man-child seeking attention.

You occasionally bring a unique perspective to the forum, yet the the most frequent contribution from you is just childish rhetoric that inadvertently reveals your hate and disdain for women as well as your stubbornness towards anyone who disagrees with you. You are easily triggered by anyone, or anything, that threatens your worldview.

Hating women doesn’t make your life better.

Hating women doesn’t improve your interaction with them.

Rigid perspectives don’t leave you room for growth.


Sure, unicorns don’t exist. But your attitude is precisely why any woman of even moderate quality and self-respect would never make themselves available to you. At least you have a lot of money, right?

What?

Dude.. I LOVE women.

The LTR market is TRASH. Just like fast food is TRASH. Would you say I hate "food" because I call fast food TRASH?

Come on dude..

 

[Urbanyst]

I spent years concentrating on future planning rather than paying attention to the here and now. What properties was I going to buy, what lender was I going to work with, what clients could I garner, what were my 1 year goals, my 5 year goals, how was I going to implement and execute. ALWAYS future focused, always critically thinking. Meanwhile I was pregnant three times, meanwhile my babies were born & became toddlers and school aged and playing sports, and playing instruments...and growing up. I missed so many MOMENTS while I was rushing toward something out in the future...and those moments are gone now. I didn't miss everything, don't misunderstand, but I missed more than I should have had I simply slowed down and trusted that all the rest could wait on the NOW. Because it can.

I don't have regret either, but rather I have gained understanding. Mine is a cautionary tale in that way, which is why I started the thread. Don't miss out on today being over wrought about tomorrow. Tomorrow is NOT guaranteed and may not arrive. Enjoy today and the present moment fully.

@BeExcellent I don't think its even possible to live a life with "no regrets" because hindsight is 20/20.

Maybe if you DIDN'T spend so much of your life planning and critically thinking for the future you wouldn't be where you are today with the MONEY you have today. Who knows?

Like I said in my Marriage thread.. NO ONE can predict for variable change in the future. The whole "live in the moment" advice people like to give is a good recipe for making horrible decisions. Every teen pregnancy is an example of someone who decided to "live in the moment" lol.

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

I wanted to address these two posts. No I am not young, I am nearly 49. I have seen people live like the lyrics of the song posted, but most of those people who I witnessed living lives of partying and drugs were actually deeply unhappy people. I have spoken a little here about the male model I dated prior to my ex-husband. He died in fact of an overdose (I heard about it years after the fact) and it was very sad as he was a beautiful human being with a big heart. He got into the party lifestyle as a salve to address the deep sense of lack he had about his own life.

People find happiness and joy and meaning in all sorts of different things. There is joy in holding a new helpless newborn who is utterly dependent upon you for life itself, there is joy in laughter with friends, there is joy in the way rain splatters the water in a lake, in the way quail run along my backyard wall, there is beauty everywhere. In NYC I love to sleep with the window open so I can hear the sirens and the trucks and the rumble of the subway and the white noise that IS the breath of New York City. So to assume the position that live fast/die young is the message is not what I am saying at all.

I know someone who knows Sir Richard Branson, or "Beardy" as he is known in closer circles. What my friend told me about his interactions with Branson is that when Branson conversed with him, it was as though he was the only person who existed in the world, Branson was utterly focused on him, and he recalled how "seen" and how "heard" he felt in that conversation. I personally know politicians who also give off this aura. It makes people feel important, seen, heard, recognized.

That recognition comes from the person being focused on the present moment, on being there, not distracted by some other thought about something else...it makes the present moment the only priority. I see people who interact in this way with others. I strive to interact in this way with others...the man I date is magnetic and dynamic and this is a large part of why. He's fully enjoying the moment and being fully present in it. So am I. At my advanced salsa class they do a social dance after the teaching portion has concluded. A couple of days ago I danced with the instructor. We laughed and joked and played throughout the dance...being cheeky and cute, and just going right on if I missed a cue or if things weren't perfect. And that took about 4 minutes. It was a joyfully 4 minutes after 3+ hours of joyful dancing.

It doesn't matter WHAT you are doing. Be fully present doing THAT.

I spent years concentrating on future planning rather than paying attention to the here and now. What properties was I going to buy, what lender was I going to work with, what clients could I garner, what were my 1 year goals, my 5 year goals, how was I going to implement and execute. ALWAYS future focused, always critically thinking. Meanwhile I was pregnant three times, meanwhile my babies were born & became toddlers and school aged and playing sports, and playing instruments...and growing up. I missed so many MOMENTS while I was rushing toward something out in the future...and those moments are gone now. I didn't miss everything, don't misunderstand, but I missed more than I should have had I simply slowed down and trusted that all the rest could wait on the NOW. Because it can.

I don't have regret either, but rather I have gained understanding. Mine is a cautionary tale in that way, which is why I started the thread. Don't miss out on today being over wrought about tomorrow. Tomorrow is NOT guaranteed and may not arrive. Enjoy today and the present moment fully.

"...there is beauty everywhere." I couldn't agree more with this statement.

Open your eyes. Look at the world around you. There really is beauty everywhere. And that beauty has nothing to do with money, power, expensive cars or how hot the woman you slept with the night before was.

The beauty of the sky at night, the feel of the waves as you wade into the ocean, the skyline of the city, backlit by the setting sun as you drive across a bridge. This type of beauty is given to you every day. All you have to do is open your eyes and your mind to it.

"... He was the only person who existed in the world..." Again, I could not agree more. The ability to truly listen to someone, to really focus on them can be an amazing experience for both people. That type of focused exchange can add so much to the quality of your life and others lives.

Excellent post BE.

-Augustus-

 

[Tenacity]

Yes. I’ll concede and we can agree that correlation does not guarantee causation.

I was merely pointing out a personal observation, not necessarily making a statement of fact.

So let's look at some more details in relation to this discussion.......

#1.) The Notion You Can Make Life SIMPLE

I get it, but also take a look at this thread title........it's called, "SIMPLICITY".

The self development industry is an over $10 billion a year industry, you know why? Because people want to "buy the notion that they have 100% control over their lives". It's the ULTIMATE motivational speech, the ULTIMATE inspiration of hope, the ULTIMATE foundation to positive thinking.

It makes life "SIMPLE". Basically, with this notion, success in life becomes just a SIMPLE (not easy, but simple) act of just controlling the way you think, controlling what you do, controlling the choices you make, controlling the majors you major in, controlling the people you hang around, etc. Do that and you are OFF to the races, all around success in finance, health, relationships, family, love, community, etc.

So people will buy books, buy webinars, go to church on Sunday and give donations........ALL for someone to give them this "notion" which now takes this life that we are all living and makes it SIMPLE.

However, unfortunately, the reality is that life will never be as SIMPLE. Life isn't black, life isn't white, life is very much gray. Life is not a stand-still. What you know works today, will likely be outdated tomorrow.


#2.) My Message: KEEP STRIVING

So what's Tenacity's uplifting and "motivational" message? Well, my message is simply to have TENACITY. Having "tenacity" is just an act of continuing to go through the ups, downs, changes, challenges, issues, pluses, minuses, awards, setbacks, victories, defeats, new births, new deaths, new jobs, job terminations, new deals, lost deals, new businesses, bankrupt businesses, etc., etc.....of life and not losing your internal "drive" to continue "striving" for something better.

That's all we can do is strive for something better. We cannot alone make our lives better. We cannot alone make our relationships with women better. We cannot alone make our job situations better.

We do not operate in a Vacuum and there's NEVER (absolutely never) any time in your life where you will be the only common denominator in anything. For example, say you had 10 relationships and they all failed? Folks will say you were the only "common denominator" so thus, it's all your fault? Well, you were not the only common denominator, present in all 10 failed relationships were:

- The 10 individual women you were with, with their own individual flaws, potential mental disorders, insecurities, kids from thugs, bad finances, weight issues, family issues, etc., etc.

- A new age dating market where the 10 women you were with are/were/will be in the future, getting hit up in their Facebook inbox with 10 guys in there trying to fvck them....along with guys at their church, gym, school, etc., trying to fvck them....meaning the women know they can REPLACE you at any time

 

[BeExcellent]

Maybe if you DIDN'T spend so much of your life planning and critically thinking for the future you wouldn't be where you are today with the MONEY you have today. Who knows?

@Urbanyst I don't necessarily disagree with you. I also don't have you on ignore. I don't have anyone on ignore. Nobody really bugs me here all that much. I get some flak, but it's a men's forum. I get it and it's all good.

There used to be a saying that must still be in circulation some that I've no idea who said it...but it is:

"Along the way, take time to smell the roses."

And basically all it's saying is that on the journey between here and there, between now and the future, stop, slow down, be. Just pause and exist and be fully present. Take a moment and quietly observe everything around you. Smile at someone on the train, do some small kindness for someone else. Perhaps that small kindness is the only nice or considerate thing that happened to that person that day. Cultivate in yourself a generosity of spirit and pour that out everywhere you go.

It is totally possible to do this while pursuing your goals for the future. But it requires arranging one's priorities differently. It comes out of being true to one's priorities and learning to say "No" when something does not line up with those priorities rather than saying yes to everything from a place of fear.

Here is an example of what I mean. I was offered a position this time last year. Full time, six figure gig, required moving my children (who are stable and in school/well established) across the country. I told the person making the offer I couldn't accept the post as I was unwilling to uproot my kids. The people offering me the position wanted me very much however. So they made me an offer to commute. And work 70% FTE (100% while in house; 30% while remote from my home). At the same money. So for 2 solid weeks a month I'm home being a parent and doing some work part time while my kids are in school...and the other two weeks I'm at my secondary residence working FT at my client. All because I was willing to say NO and walk away from an opportunity that did not line up with my goals and how I choose to structure my life. Once I said NO the opportunity recreated itself to suit my goals. But that only happened because of my willingness to honor myself and turn it down in the original format.

That is exercise of personal power. Remember Poon King's thread "The Power of No?" That's the power of NO in action.

 

[BeExcellent]

Simplicity really boils down @Tenacity to being true to ones self. That is all. In order to do that however one must figure who one is, and therefore what are you being true to.

My original post is that we complicate life too much sometimes. All you have right now is RIGHT NOW. We add on all these unnecessary layers of BS because our priorities are whacked. Our priorities get whacked because we are conditioned to think that we need to function in a certain way in a certain matrix or system. How does that serve OUR purpose? It doesn't. Particularly if we have no idea what our purpose is.

Hello. What is the red pill? Unplugging from the matrix; seeing behind the system to which we have become conditioned. And that's all well, fine and good. But unless we know what we want, what we are personally doing...we can unplug all we want, but we still haven't empowered ourselves to utilize our own personal power and take advantage of our red pill paradigm shift to utilize what we know for our own purposes. Perhaps we don't think we actually have any personal power.......Oh but we do. I do. You do. We all do.

 

[Tenacity]

Here is an example of what I mean. I was offered a position this time last year. Full time, six figure gig, required moving my children (who are stable and in school/well established) across the country. I told the person making the offer I couldn't accept the post as I was unwilling to uproot my kids. The people offering me the position wanted me very much however. So they made me an offer to commute. And work 70% FTE (100% while in house; 30% while remote from my home). At the same money. So for 2 solid weeks a month I'm home being a parent and doing some work part time while my kids are in school...and the other two weeks I'm at my secondary residence working FT at my client. All because I was willing to say NO and walk away from an opportunity that did not line up with my goals and how I choose to structure my life. Once I said NO the opportunity recreated itself to suit my goals. But that only happened because of my willingness to honor myself and turn it down in the original format.

That is exercise of personal power. Remember Poon King's thread "The Power of No?" That's the power of NO in action.

No honey lol, this is an exercise of critical, logical, and business thinking mechanisms......not some pseudo "personal power". You sat down and did a COST/BENEFIT analysis (based on critical thinking) in relation to the awards the position offers and the costs to take the position, such as moving your kids across the country. Because the original structure would have tipped to "costing more than benefiting" you in some capacity, you had to bring them a modified version that was more leveled.

You exercised critical, logical, and business thinking mechanisms, the very same ones I promote. If you went strictly on the "emotional" stuff you promote on here, you would have JUMPED at the new job immediately without sitting down and critically thinking out all of the nuisances.

 

[BeExcellent]

Open your eyes. Look at the world around you. There really is beauty everywhere. And that beauty has nothing to do with money, power, expensive cars or how hot the woman you slept with the night before was.

Agree 100%. What's the point if we miss the beauty that is inherent in life and in our existence. Why not savor it and appreciate it?