Simp question about friendly cashier

[corrector]

Best though love I´ve seen all week and its only Monday.

The dude is on ignore. The thing with an ignore function is you can disable it on a thread if you are curious enough to see what the poster is saying, which in this case I'm actually do not care to have disabled it here.

 

[The Duke]

The dude is on ignore. The thing with an ignore function is you can disable it on a thread if you are curious enough to see what the poster is saying, which in this case I'm actually do not care to have disabled it here.

Corrector, I know you've "ignored" me a few times. And just like this case, it comes after someone tells you something you need to hear but don't want to hear.

You aren't here to learn, and you don't offer any solid advice. Country people have a saying "sometimes you need to cull the heard".....don't want the weak/sick ones to to infect the rest. If I ran this board, I would have booted you out of here a long time ago.

 

[corrector]

Corrector, I know you've "ignored" me a few times. And just like this case, it comes after someone tells you something you need to hear but don't want to hear.

You aren't here to learn, and you don't offer any solid advice. Country people have a saying "sometimes you need to cull the heard".....don't want the weak/sick ones to to infect the rest. If I ran this board, I would have booted you out of here a long time ago.

No, I actually have not "ignored" you. But I will grant your wish and do it now.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

​

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Are you a woman?

I’m not a biologist.

 

[MatureDJ]

It's OVER for QueueCels.

 

[MatureDJ]

Cashiers are one of the more difficult types to game. Personally, I find them more difficult than a cold approach. It's not their personalty or anything. It's because we only have a small window of time to build rapport (a line could be behind us and/or she could be preoccupied due to the fast pace of her job).

Pinto shows how it's done:

 

[corrector]

Pinto shows how it's done:

Yeah, 20 year old approaches seem to come as more fun and natural compared to middle-age. When I was in University, I had like a tonne of numbers from various college girls. When you are in the zone, things like that come very easy. When you are out of it then it's very hard. It's like everyone is on the same wavelenght and doesn't feel like you are in different planets and interactions feel more organic, especially in these 80s movies.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

The experience that made me realize waitresses and other customer service girls were women first. Service workers second.

I was about 17. My family would eat out at a surf ‘n turf once a month. My Dad would order. On this occasion. The waitress. A young woman. was standing between my Dad & I. I love mushrooms & my Dad would usually order an extra plate for me. This time he didn’t. So I poked his leg. Repeatedly, with my finger. He didn’t seem to notice or care. After the waitress left I asked him why he didn’t order the mushrooms. He said he forgot. I told him that was why I was poking him. He looked surprised and said he didn’t feel any pokes. Apparently I had been poking the waitress’ thigh. I was beyond embarrassed and everyone thought it was hilarious. However. The waitress made sure to stand right next to me every chance she could. Always with a smile.

 

[manfrombelow]

The experience that made me realize waitresses and other customer service girls were women first. Service workers second.

I was about 17. My family would eat out at a surf ‘n turf once a month. My Dad would order. On this occasion. The waitress. A young woman. was standing between my Dad & I. I love mushrooms & my Dad would usually order an extra plate for me. This time he didn’t. So I poked his leg. Repeatedly, with my finger. He didn’t seem to notice or care. After the waitress left I asked him why he didn’t order the mushrooms. He said he forgot. I told him that was why I was poking him. He looked surprised and said he didn’t feel any pokes. Apparently I had been poking the waitress’ thigh. I was beyond embarrassed and everyone thought it was hilarious. However. The waitress made sure to stand right next to me every chance she could. Always with a smile.

Nice and thanks for sharing this.

But also, men, please do not forget after all, waitresses (and all women work in the hospitality industry) smile or be friendly with you (unless you're a creep of course) BECAUSE IT'S THEIR JOB TO DO SO, NOT BECAUSE YOU'RE HOT.

 

[Millard Fillmore]

Went to the pharmacy today and saw a plain hb6-7 Asian by herself where I was trying to get a prescription and I believe I got the following IOIs:

1) She initially had a blue surgical mask fully covering her face. While we were interacting she took this mask off.
2) She thought she recognized me from before, said my face looked familiar
3) Her overall tone and demenour was friendly and she went the extra mile to find a product that I was not able to get (or my father was unable to get looking on my behalf) in other locations.

I've complained about being invisible or not getting attention, but I do get counter-examples on occasion of what appears to be IOIs popping up here or there.

For example, in another store, a young 8 hb cashier tried to connect with me while walking out and explained in a loud pitched voice how she liked my shirt.

Now, based on the quality of that interaction (referring to the Asian), I do have her last name, and she might likely remember the interaction if I bring it up, so I don't think she's out of reach (ie unless she quits or is fired from the job tomorrow), so despite the fact I didn't make a move, the interaction was pleasant enough to follow-up with her. The only other issue is I don't have a default concept to make a move (ie should I just ask if she is single?).

Anyway, this at least breaks the idea that I don't get IOIs from Asians because of my race, etc.....

The thing is whenever I get IOIs, I just tend to freeze-up, look at the lady like she is some angel and just enjoy the moment with her with no intent to make a move or follow-up because these things are too rare that you wonder if you are in the Twilight Zone or something when they happen.

Forget about IOIs. They can be fool's gold and a lack of IOIs doesn't necessarily mean anything.

Send out your own signals. Chat her up and get her number. Simple as that. Or if you don't want to get her into trouble, worst case you write down yours and hand it to her.

IOIs is one of the most overrated concepts. It's your movie, dude, star in it. Watch that scene in Office Space where Peter asks out Jennifer Aniston where she works. It's not even an ask and he doesn't care.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

You see a cashier you want to talk to but has a lineup. There are three cashiers next to her that are free.

Is it the real simp thing to wait in line?

Hell naw. Wait in the line and holla at her.

 

[corrector]

Just interacted with a nice gen Z cashier today. Did not make any move beyond the business interaction. Think it must be learned helplessness at this point. Did not expect such sad and lonely vibes from such a hot girl and was taken a back.

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Corrector,
Slip a Card to her....Thanks for your friendly help and assistance over the year,fancy a chat over a Coffee,maybe talk about New year Resolutions we will never Keep?....Meantime you live in Canada which I hope still keeps up an English style Christmas Dinner...Enjoy and good luck Scarra.

 

[corrector]

Hi Corrector,
Slip a Card to her....Thanks for your friendly help and assistance over the year,fancy a chat over a Coffee,maybe talk about New year Resolutions we will never Keep?....Meantime you live in Canada which I hope still keeps up an English style Christmas Dinner...Enjoy and good luck Scarra.

Oh yeah, always a suggestion to meet over coffee in these types of threads. In this case, she makes coffee as she is a barista, so I mean, since she served me coffee there and wasn't doing anything, then I could have continued talking to her while drinking the coffee-latte she just served. It would be silly to suggest another coffee date if you can talk to her right now.

The issue, whether you have a coffee date at a later time, or are talking to her now, is still content. (ie what to talk to her about that would have a progressive goal towards seduction or a good friendship sans friendzoning). At the end of the day there has to be something to say.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

How about the next time you see her you figure out a way to engage?

I would ask her how her day is going or some such, she will most likely talk about being tired or wishing she was off as is often the case with service workers.

Then you could say: “oh so what would you be doing if you were free today?” Her answer will most likely give you some insight about the things that are important to her. Maybe she wishes she was out for a hike, or she likes to bake, or she would like time to play with her dog.

This gives you an open. Like maybe “oh I love hiking, I recently discovered this trail (or lake or whatever that’s really pretty) we should go for a hike together, when are you off?” You’re a smart guy @corrector, and a good conversationalist surely you could strike up a discussion leading to meeting her off work for something fun.

The trick is to get them to talk by showing interest in something about her other than her fine cleavage. Let her talk, if you are eloquent and smart you can keep it going for more than a few sentences. Also, I do not know if coffee shops have tip jars in Canada, but you could make sure that she sees you tipping her as well - this shows class and gets noticed. You need to find subtle ways to set yourself apart somehow. And smile, always smile women love a smile.

Just some ideas for you.

 

[corrector]

How about the next time you see her you figure out a way to engage?

I would ask her how her day is going or some such, she will most likely talk about being tired or wishing she was off as is often the case with service workers.

Then you could say: “oh so what would you be doing if you were free today?” Her answer will most likely give you some insight about the things that are important to her. Maybe she wishes she was out for a hike, or she likes to bake, or she would like time to play with her dog.

This gives you an open. Like maybe “oh I love hiking, I recently discovered this trail (or lake or whatever that’s really pretty) we should go for a hike together, when are you off?” You’re a smart guy @corrector, and a good conversationalist surely you could strike up a discussion leading to meeting her off work for something fun.

The trick is to get them to talk by showing interest in something about her other than her fine cleavage. Let her talk, if you are eloquent and smart you can keep it going for more than a few sentences. Also, I do not know if coffee shops have tip jars in Canada, but you could make sure that she sees you tipping her as well - this shows class and gets noticed. You need to find subtle ways to set yourself apart somehow. And smile, always smile women love a smile.

Just some ideas for you.

Thank you. I do agree these are great suggestions, however, I would like to review the process of thoughts that were in my mind, at least at that time, of what I was thinking of talking to her about:

1) Noticed it was very quiet around, no other customers around within the space, just me and her. "It's rather quiet around here now, was it busier earlier today?"

2) She had an exotic type of mixed look. "May I ask where you are from?" As I'm mixed myself, if she has a good attitude, it could be an interesting convo.

The reason I'm mentioning this to you, is that is what I had to work with at that time. Even the best idea now can't change the past and circumstnaces which may have caused me to "gulp" saying something (ie that should appear to be reasonable) to engage on her and just stick on this business-mode and don't get where all of the anxiety and fear is coming from. There may be some serious issues with "inner game" since I should have said something, and I felt "blocked", like it was somehow inappropriate, when it's in fact totally appropriate.

Therefore, good ideas are always great on paper, however, with execution, there are sometimes these anxieties and mental blocks that I'm not performing as well as I should. If I can somehow manage the nerves then hopefully I'll take social risks so it's not just about business.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

@corrector youre over analyzing the situation. Classic analysis paralysis, just jump in brother, every time you don’t is a lost opportunity, not only to meet and charm a pretty girl, but for you to develop the confidence you lack.

Just do it.

If it doesn’t work, it’s the same as not having done it.

Shoot your shot bro. What’s the worst thing that can occur?

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Corrector,
Didn't know she worked in a Coffee Shop,thought she was a checkout chick in a supermarket...Like Bar Maids,she probably gets knocked onto by a lot of Guys...But Hell you have nothing to lose,she's not going to bite you.

 

[MtmVaott]

Thank you. I do agree these are great suggestions, however, I would like to review the process of thoughts that were in my mind, at least at that time, of what I was thinking of talking to her about:

1) Noticed it was very quiet around, no other customers around within the space, just me and her. "It's rather quiet around here now, was it busier earlier today?"

2) She had an exotic type of mixed look. "May I ask where you are from?" As I'm mixed myself, if she has a good attitude, it could be an interesting convo.

The reason I'm mentioning this to you, is that is what I had to work with at that time. Even the best idea now can't change the past and circumstnaces which may have caused me to "gulp" saying something (ie that should appear to be reasonable) to engage on her and just stick on this business-mode and don't get where all of the anxiety and fear is coming from. There may be some serious issues with "inner game" since I should have said something, and I felt "blocked", like it was somehow inappropriate, when it's in fact totally appropriate.

Therefore, good ideas are always great on paper, however, with execution, there are sometimes these anxieties and mental blocks that I'm not performing as well as I should. If I can somehow manage the nerves then hopefully I'll take social risks so it's not just about business.

I'd rather go with these:
1) "It's rather quiet around here now, quite unusual, right?
2) "Hey, I have a migration background and I'm worried how this will turn out in [recent job event], I don't want to be rude, but does a likely event occur in your job as well?"
You see what I did there? These questions don't put her on the spot, you make your intentions somewhat clear, and she can immediately start talking about her personal experiences and feelings.
Like you, I tend to freeze and block mentally. I may also dissociate and loose any visual information coming through my eyes for a few seconds. If this is true for you as well, you won't get further, since the blockades will only become more severe the more important she becomes. Abundance probably helps.