Sick to my fvcking stomach...

[dasein]

Between atom smasher's and salinechow, you got all you need here in your thread OP. Will add that have been in your shoes dozens of times in life, EVERY SINGLE TIME I looked back at the girl a year or two down the road and was so glad I didn't "get" her in comparing to women I did actually get due to LEARNING and taking the right ACTION. Many times I had a chance to get with one of these down the road and turned them down because the "spell" had faded and I had better at the time and a full schedule. As AS says, every meaningful success in life is standing atop a mountain of failures. The key is USING the failures to grow and learn. You'll be fine. Good luck.

 

[MillionBillionaire]

Start today or Monday.

You are in Saline boot camp now son.

You PM’d me. You have asked in multiple threads about this.

You are sick and weak. Now you are mine.

If wasted my time I will not only hate you but I will hate myself for being such a bad judge of character. I don’t think I am though. Don’t prove me wrong. Don’t make me hate myself.

In six very short weeks you won’t recognize yourself. You will be shocked. You will feel so confident comparative to where you are at now you won’t even know what to do with it. But it will come to you.

Six weeks. That’s all it takes.

Ok. OK. I am sure some people will jump on here and say I am building you up for a let down because it takes a lifetime of learning and the gym regiment isn’t right and blah blah blah. Don’t listen to them. Listen to ME. I earned it because I took the interest and time to help you. Of course no one can be full transformed a cooked all the way through in 6 weeks. I get that. I have been doing it for 6 months and still struggle, very publicly in fact.

But, using Atom Smashers analogy again: I have built a hill. You sir, are not even a pebble.

Judging by your whimpering and whining and onities and dizzying crush over ONE GOSHDAMN text! You need my program like your next breath.

What this will accomplish is taking you through the threshold at 60mph instead of “one step at a time”. And I am, no we are, going to use that momentum to barrel you right through the doors of this girls open mic night and march right up to her and say.

“Hey HB. I trust you have been well. Nice performance. Remember when I said you should let me know about getting together? Well, after going out with a few other girls I’ve decided the only waiting I am doing anymore is waiting for you to finish up here. Im interested in you and Im letting you know, we are going out tonight.”

You try that sh!t right now and you’ll get arrested. You do this in six weeks, when you are dressed to kill, with extra shoulder width, and some testosterone in your blood, armed with conversational topics and your phone ringing from your heard of Tinderelllas you know what’s going to happen…well Ill tell you.

You are most likely going to get shot down. She is going to think you are nuts and a borderline stalker.

BUT…. and here is where the gold lies amongst the ruble.

You will turn around and a smile will creep across your blushed cheeks. That smile is the smile of someone who no longer gives A F^CK! It’s the smile of a MAN on his way to becoming true DJ. That smile will be worth everything. It will linger till you get in your car and then it will turn to a laugh.

“HAHAHA. And to think how much I cared about a text! HAHA. I just did that sh!t and I don’t even care.” Let me call Ariel and see what’s she’s doing.

OR… and don’t bank on this, but its certainly possible. DEFINITELY more possible than any chance you have right now.

She looks you over, looks around the room and looks back at you.

“Yeah, you know what, Id like that. Sorry I never got back to you but its good to see you again. Can you give me 15 min while I gather my things and say goodbye?”

Happened to me. Twice.

You promise to do every step of this and Ill fly or drive to wherever you are and be there that night to throw you through the door if you want. If you are successful Ill go out alone and pull. If you are not, we will go out together and pull. You know what though.

You won’t need me there. :rockon:

Op.. you owe this man money... actually you owe him more than that. You owe it to him and all of us to follow up on his advice and then give back to the community when you are no longer a chump.

Honestly.. Giantsfan.. mr pickels.. I gave up on you because you are just a guy on the internet just like lonewolf...

but this man.. he cared enough to give you everything you need.

Now do what he says and stop posting about the same crap.

good luck bro.

 

[johnywhite17]

This isn't a mistake, it's a girl with low interest letting you know. I say this to a few girls that are working to get me right now and they will figure something out. Some girls know when you're acting, I think it was more incongruity than a bad thing to say

 

[Onion]

salinechow - you are legend!! I don't even know why this isn't a single post by itself.

 

[RangerMIke]

Never let a woman get to you like this. Keep telling yourself "I will not be ruled by a creature who is driven by the shifting winds of emotion."

Many men get fixated on the ONE THING, that drove her away... the simple truth is that it is never EVER just one thing, and it isn't you... it is her and only her. When a woman breaks things off from a man, the truth is that it was a long time coming. And it's NEVER all about the reason she gave.

I have a female friend that just broke things off from her 3 year realtionship with her BF. She tells me that it's that he "won't commit.", what a bunch of BS... She's ****ing a doctor in Boston she met a few weeks ago, she's branch jumping. This poor guy is probibly sitting around agonizing over the last time they talked, thinking HE did something wrong. He did nothing wrong except just being himself, and his GF met a dude she thinks is a better option.

The only thing you can do about this is start being the VERY BEST you can be. When you lose a women, think about it like someone stole your old used car... sure you liked that car... and it ticks you off that it's gone.... but it's just a 'car', just go get a new one.

 

[Bingo-Player]

OP is annoyed because he is focusing heavily on what could have happened with this girl as she was interested in him initially

The text doesn’t matter , she was already done with you , you just rubbed some salt into your own wounds as many afc’s seem to love doing

But we are all guilty of it , even someone like me who has a whole graveyard full of facked up opportunities i am still making mistakes now and i am still beating myself up over them

I am a firm believer in attempting to salvage something with a woman IF she is prepared to make an equal amount of effort (very rare)

However There’s is a certain point you reach where there is no turning back , you have either said or done too many wrong things for her to be able to give you any respect as a man

It sounds as though you have reached this point with this girl there is no point in crying over it now you are just wasting your time

Sit down grab yourself a strong double whiskey and figure out where to go from here , never forget that experience is a priceless commodity

 

[Stugots26]

No girl is ever 100% gone. Every girl no matter how old and no matter how hot whom I've fvcked has always checked back in down the line.

Here's the thing:

I evolve. I grow into a stronger man emotionally and a more successful version of myself. Girls who were hot in their early twenties fear the approaching wall and as their assets depreciate and they can't turn as many heads, they always check back in and they fear me evolving to a point where they have no emotional impact on me at all.

Bottom line is that it's up to you to grow in the absence of this woman. She may be back yet. But when she checks back in you have to be at a point where you can take it or leave it and have better things to do (and other women to fvck) than to worry about how interested she is in you. She should be worried about whether you are still interested in her or whether you've grown tired of her BS.

 

[Firestar786]

You'll learn from it
I've made a plethora of mistakes also as we all have lol

 

[Giantsfan88]

Never let a woman get to you like this. Keep telling yourself "I will not be ruled by a creature who is driven by the shifting winds of emotion."

Many men get fixated on the ONE THING, that drove her away... the simple truth is that it is never EVER just one thing, and it isn't you... it is her and only her. When a woman breaks things off from a man, the truth is that it was a long time coming. And it's NEVER all about the reason she gave.

I have a female friend that just broke things off from her 3 year realtionship with her BF. She tells me that it's that he "won't commit.", what a bunch of BS... She's ****ing a doctor in Boston she met a few weeks ago, she's branch jumping. This poor guy is probibly sitting around agonizing over the last time they talked, thinking HE did something wrong. He did nothing wrong except just being himself, and his GF met a dude she thinks is a better option.

The only thing you can do about this is start being the VERY BEST you can be. When you lose a women, think about it like someone stole your old used car... sure you liked that car... and it ticks you off that it's gone.... but it's just a 'car', just go get a new one.

Yeah but she didn't reject me. She rejected my behavior. And I know what that behavior was and I'm not doing it anymore. If I really was being my best self around her, trust me, I wouldn't give a fvck. I'm meeting other girls and improving myself and I feel like I deserve her now.

 

[Giantsfan88]

OP is annoyed because he is focusing heavily on what could have happened with this girl as she was interested in him initially

The text doesn’t matter , she was already done with you , you just rubbed some salt into your own wounds as many afc’s seem to love doing

But we are all guilty of it , even someone like me who has a whole graveyard full of facked up opportunities i am still making mistakes now and i am still beating myself up over them

I am a firm believer in attempting to salvage something with a woman IF she is prepared to make an equal amount of effort (very rare)

However There’s is a certain point you reach where there is no turning back , you have either said or done too many wrong things for her to be able to give you any respect as a man

It sounds as though you have reached this point with this girl there is no point in crying over it now you are just wasting your time

Sit down grab yourself a strong double whiskey and figure out where to go from here , never forget that experience is a priceless commodity

How can I really tell if I reached this point? I guess I'd just have to see her in person and gauge her interest there unless she hits me up first...

 

[Giantsfan88]

This isn't a mistake, it's a girl with low interest letting you know. I say this to a few girls that are working to get me right now and they will figure something out. Some girls know when you're acting, I think it was more incongruity than a bad thing to say

Well incongruity is worse. How do you figure incongruent?

 

[3agle 3yes]

I hope OP is learning to resolve his issues, but this is an example of how emotions can creep up on people without them even realising and how it can cripple someone and get them doing the same things again and again.

OP look at your post:

...I pushed her away by overpursuing and that text pushed her much further away! She thinks I'm a pushy little phaggot a$$ b1tch!...

Over-pursuing is a REACTIVE action, people who react most of time are passive, negative and almost ALWAYS have NO CONTROL over their emotions.

So, to be specific it was your LACK of emotional control that pushed her away.

...over-reactive, passive, negative, lack of emotional control...ALL of it is PRESENT in that post:

...I left it off "let me know when you wanna get together."... I'm such a fvcking idiot I can fathom it right now.... She's never gonna contact me in this lifetime and what hurts most about it is because she liked me a lot, but I acted like a needy wussy pushy pu$$y and now I'm never gonna hear from her again. NEVER! Sorry I just needed to vent...

All of this is over-reactive, negative and passive...the very things that probably caused her to leave in the first place...and here you are exhibiting the same traits AFTER the fact.

I'm willing to bet that in a few weeks time, you'll read this and wonder what the f!@k was wrong with you for posting this.

IMO the past exists for only one reason...NOT to re-experience, NOT to fix, but to learn from.

The solution? Learn to CONTROL your emotions. You do this by having no expectations...in terms of interactions with women or in relationships.

Learn to walk away when relationships have lost their "spice" and do not react when women decide to end things...that's THEIR problem, not yours.

The REAL issue isn't that she left you, it's that you make other people responsible for your emotional well-being rather than yourself.

 

[Giantsfan88]

I hope OP is learning to resolve his issues, but this is an example of how emotions can creep up on people without them even realising and how it can cripple someone and get them doing the same things again and again.

OP look at your post:
Over-pursuing is a REACTIVE action, people who react most of time are passive, negative and almost ALWAYS have NO CONTROL over their emotions.

So, to be specific it was your LACK of emotional control that pushed her away.

...over-reactive, passive, negative, lack of emotional control...ALL of it is PRESENT in that post:


All of this is over-reactive, negative and passive...the very things that probably caused her to leave in the first place...and here you are exhibiting the same traits AFTER the fact.

I'm willing to bet that in a few weeks time, you'll read this and wonder what the f!@k was wrong with you for posting this.

IMO the past exists for only one reason...NOT to re-experience, NOT to fix, but to learn from.

The solution? Learn to CONTROL your emotions. You do this by having no expectations...in terms of interactions with women or in relationships.

Learn to walk away when relationships have lost their "spice" and do not react when women decide to end things...that's THEIR problem, not yours.

The REAL issue isn't that she left you, it's that you make other people responsible for your emotional well-being rather than yourself.

But I have emotional control now. I wanna get her back. Is it possible or have I been too passive with that statement? I learned and still want her and that's it.

 

[3agle 3yes]

Why do you want her? And be honest (with yourself at least).

If it is sex, you don't need to have a relationship with her to have it.

 

[Tenacity]

But I have emotional control now. I wanna get her back. Is it possible or have I been too passive with that statement? I learned and still want her and that's it.

OP, listen, you are totally overthinking this shyt, it's not a damn Cost Accounting exam.

It's not what you say to a girl, it's how you say it and it's WHO is saying it. Work on who you are as a person in terms of building general rapport, having an all around good personality, having MONEY, having a great appearance, being physically attractive, etc.

You are so caught up on what you should say, when you should say it, how you should walk, come on dude. Work on the things I said above and then understand it's a numbers game. Approach 20 chicks, get 6-8 numbers, date/fvck 1-3 of those chicks.

 

[Giantsfan88]

Why do you want her? And be honest (with yourself at least).

If it is sex, you don't need to have a relationship with her to have it.

I want a relationship with her. We met when I was trying to do everything perfect . I was overdosing on these and pua forums and it got in the way of my instincts. I was not trusting myself and my inner game was sh1t at the time. But since salinechow's post, I swear I've come a long way. I want her to meet ME, not my flaws, and I want to be her man.

 

[Giantsfan88]

OP, listen, you are totally overthinking this shyt, it's not a damn Cost Accounting exam.

It's not what you say to a girl, it's how you say it and it's WHO is saying it. Work on who you are as a person in terms of building general rapport, having an all around good personality, having MONEY, having a great appearance, being physically attractive, etc.

You are so caught up on what you should say, when you should say it, how you should walk, come on dude. Work on the things I said above and then understand it's a numbers game. Approach 20 chicks, get 6-8 numbers, date/fvck 1-3 of those chicks.

I now realize it's not a cost accounting exam. I want a second chance at a relationship with her because she didn't meet me when I was being myself. I was not given a fair shot.

 

[Tenacity]

I now realize it's not a cost accounting exam. I want a second chance at a relationship with her because she didn't meet me when I was being myself. I was not given a fair shot.

Well, I'm sure there are countless other nice looking women out there for you to "try again" on. Don't stress it so much, I'm not sure how old you are but I'm telling you that after you have ran through a good amount of women....you realize that all of the "hype" is just that....HYPE.

If you are going to stress about something, stress about your career, investing, working out, eating right, etc. These are things that have real substance, sustainability and longevity.

Women go and come my friend, they are a revolving door.

 

[Giantsfan88]

Well, I'm sure there are countless other nice looking women out there for you to "try again" on. Don't stress it so much, I'm not sure how old you are but I'm telling you that after you have ran through a good amount of women....you realize that all of the "hype" is just that....HYPE.

If you are going to stress about something, stress about your career, investing, working out, eating right, etc. These are things that have real substance, sustainability and longevity.

Women go and come my friend, they are a revolving door.

I am focused on those things now, unlike then when I met her. I'm gonna get her back.

 

[salinechow]

I want some authentic details of recent successes and failures over the last month. Where have you done well with the guideline and where could you have done better?

Once you share these details; I have a "must do" accomplishment before we send you to tame the lions.

Also, in the meantime...