Yes, part of the game, exactly. In the push and pull, romance has its place. The more of a Mr Perfect that you seem when things go well, then the more it hurts when she misbehaves and you freeze her out. It's a yin & yang opposites thing. The zen expression is that a wall and a window define each other, for one means nothing without the other - a window is a hole in a wall. Opposites define each other, and if you're too much of an ambivalent player all the time, then the freeze out card does not pack the same power.