Centaurion
Master Don Juan
Recently I've been reading a lot about psychopaths, and the more I read, the more I realize that I might have psychopathic tendencies. Look at this :
It's really scary for me to read all this, because it's like reading my own life. I have no moral compass, the only reason I don't go completely overboard is because the risk outweighs the gains. But once that threshold is surpassed, I might let it all loose. When I interact with people everything I do and say is calculated, when I talk with a chick/friends/co-workers I've already played out the conversation before hand I know what to say/how to lie to get the desired outcome. It's a game of chess for me.
Just the other day a "close" friend of mine told me his grandparent is dying, and I was like "uh..cool". I don't have any empathy for other people, I only see them as pawns - they only exist to serve my needs. Nothing more, nothing less.
I can't say that I've had a meaningful relationship with a woman before. Sure I've had a couple of ltrs, the longest for almost a year, but I had several women on the side. And I didn't "connect" with them, the only reason I stayed that long with them was because they were up for trying some freaky sh!t. But they all thought that I "loved" them, and that we were going to get married. When I got what I needed I just moved on. Hell, in my last ltr, I told the chick that I was going out to get some beers, but I got on a plane and went to the other side of the world. It wasn't until she called me the next day that I told here were I was, and that it was over. She broke down in tears, and I couldn’t care less.
The worst part is that I tell people straight out that I don’t care for them, and that I’m only using them to meet my needs, but they all brush it off as a joke because it doesn’t fit with the image I portray. Just tonight I told everything to a chick I met at a bar, I was drunk and I needed to let it all out. You know what she did? She laughed and said that I was cute. I brought her back to my place and fvcked her nine ways to Sunday, threw some cab money at her and kicked her out at 4 am in the morning like some *****. And this was a cute girl from my faculty. I have no remorse over that.
Anyways, I don’t why I wrote this post, I just wanted to went. This is the only place where I can do that.
That fits me perfectly. And also check out this page : http://www.cassiopaea.com/cassiopaea/psychopath_2.htmThe most prominent symptoms of a Psychopath is antisocial behavior, having no conscience, being highly manipulative, being a fluent and convincing liar and being superficially charming. Psychopath's are thrill seekers who view others as fodder for exploitation.
Same thing there.PRIMARY PSYCHOPATHS do not respond to punishment, apprehension, stress, or disapproval. They seem to be able to inhibit their antisocial impulses most of the time, not because of conscience, but because it suits their purpose at the time. Words do not seem to have the same meaning for them as they do for us. In fact, it's unclear if they even grasp the meaning of their own words, a condition that Cleckley called "semantic aphasia." They don't follow any life plan, and it seems as if they are incapable of experiencing any genuine emotion.
It's really scary for me to read all this, because it's like reading my own life. I have no moral compass, the only reason I don't go completely overboard is because the risk outweighs the gains. But once that threshold is surpassed, I might let it all loose. When I interact with people everything I do and say is calculated, when I talk with a chick/friends/co-workers I've already played out the conversation before hand I know what to say/how to lie to get the desired outcome. It's a game of chess for me.
Just the other day a "close" friend of mine told me his grandparent is dying, and I was like "uh..cool". I don't have any empathy for other people, I only see them as pawns - they only exist to serve my needs. Nothing more, nothing less.
I can't say that I've had a meaningful relationship with a woman before. Sure I've had a couple of ltrs, the longest for almost a year, but I had several women on the side. And I didn't "connect" with them, the only reason I stayed that long with them was because they were up for trying some freaky sh!t. But they all thought that I "loved" them, and that we were going to get married. When I got what I needed I just moved on. Hell, in my last ltr, I told the chick that I was going out to get some beers, but I got on a plane and went to the other side of the world. It wasn't until she called me the next day that I told here were I was, and that it was over. She broke down in tears, and I couldn’t care less.
The worst part is that I tell people straight out that I don’t care for them, and that I’m only using them to meet my needs, but they all brush it off as a joke because it doesn’t fit with the image I portray. Just tonight I told everything to a chick I met at a bar, I was drunk and I needed to let it all out. You know what she did? She laughed and said that I was cute. I brought her back to my place and fvcked her nine ways to Sunday, threw some cab money at her and kicked her out at 4 am in the morning like some *****. And this was a cute girl from my faculty. I have no remorse over that.
Anyways, I don’t why I wrote this post, I just wanted to went. This is the only place where I can do that.