Should I next her already for not replying to a date arrangement text?

[pikachu69]

This is depressing everytime I get a few HBs I lose 2 of them, left with 1 anse her as and I have no idea why. Its becoming so predictive its frustrating. Its like I'm bracing myself for disappointment. You would think by law of averages I'd get the 3rd 1 if I have 3 and lost 2.

Anyway I texted the other girl from the party who I had to follow up with from last week her text of

'hey can't do this week so next is best? I got a few presentations to do s its all abit crazy. Talk next week. X'

this was last tuesday so I made mistake of not calling instead of texting seeing as it was such a long time period in between contact rapport was lost. She's frustrating cos she plays it so cool and doesn't text me back for ages maybe 24 hrs so arranging something is impossible. So i waited till tuesday to text just to make it seem i was waiting till the beginning of the week i.e. monday to contact her cos i was wary of looking desperate

'hey. Hope your non shopping this month is going well. I'm sure you'll still find something to wear to impress me for our drink from your extensive wardrobe! Haha'

i send this at 11pm, which was too late, and she waited exactly 1 hour to text me back at midnight, the timing of it seemed too contrived that i thought she's playing phone games. but it was muted her response 'extensive? i wish. hope your well and enjoying the loveley weather.' no kiss at the end.

i was a little surprised she made no mention about the drink.

so i waited till 10am the next morning i.e. yesterday to send this 'i'm sure you'll look stunning regardless let me distract u from the weather with a night of stimulating convo then. i'm busy tonight but hows tomorrow or sunday?'

now i expected her to respond at least yesterday but she hasnt! and i have no idea why??

she was really into me at the party so i never expected this. she doesnt know about the other girl, not yet anyway given she replied to me 2 nights ago. is it likely she started seeing someone else hence why she didn't see me last week?

i did think it was a bit fishy why even if she had presentations why she couldn't offer 1 of the weekend nights to come out for a drink. granted sunday was valentines and i said i was busy friday so you'd think she'd offer a day ratehr than just 'next week is best?'

i felt strung along, unless of course thats a test to see if you'll follow up and if you do you look weak cos you're chasing. i haven't got a clue why she hasn't text me back i find it disrespectful.

if she has the audacity to text me today for tonight i'll say i've made plans already cos she's disrespected my time.

is the likelihood she's met someone else already? i cant explain why she'd not be interested anymore, she was all over me at the party. this was 2 weeks ago though.

 

[slaog]

You're being too much of an AFC nice guy and maybe you come across as wanting a date badly. Why compliment her? Its like they were intended to be said half jokingly. The problem with that is the other half isn't a joke.


You need to change your mindset from AFC to DJ. Instead of wanting a date off a girl think of them as the lucky ones IF they get a date off you.


Be less serious also when contacting girls. They want to feel good so the best way to do that is to treat them like little girls. Joke with them and let them know indirectly that you have other options and you don't need to go on any dates.

 

[Alle_Gory]

Talk about overanalysis...

Do you need help with using the bathroom too, or do you have that one covered?

 

[pikachu69]

Ok so what do u suggest I said instead?

She doesn't answer her phone, and does her communication by text. I thought I was joking with her in my texts as u suggested. I dumbfounded why they didn't work cos usually this stuff is fine for me getting a dae. At least give me an idea of how I should have written my 2 texts. The 1st was me trying to build rapport rather than going straight in for a day and time.

Maybe I could have worded the 2nd better or just have said 'so when me and u going for that drink?' The ironic thing is she asked ME out and suggested I show her that bar I talked about.

In the end I was thinking if she was interested it shouldn't matter what i said in that 2nd text, she'd want me to ask her out and arrange a time. obviously somethings happened to cause her to have low interest now and it can't be my texts..

You're being too much of an AFC nice guy and maybe you come across as wanting a date badly. Why compliment her? Its like they were intended to be said half jokingly. The problem with that is the other half isn't a joke.


You need to change your mindset from AFC to DJ. Instead of wanting a date off a girl think of them as the lucky ones IF they get a date off you.


Be less serious also when contacting girls. They want to feel good so the best way to do that is to treat them like little girls. Joke with them and let them know indirectly that you have other options and you don't need to go on any dates.

 

[Evil_Muska]

Sounds to me like SHE has next'd YOU already.

Do yourself a favor and don't try and sound sophisticated when you text.
Be flirty, be suggestive, be unpredictable. I'll give you an example. I was having a txt conversation with the this girl a couple of weeks ago, and the last part of it went something like this (paraphrasing, of course)...

Me:
Her: Hey, don't stick your tongue out at me! lol
Me: Why? You gunna spank me?
Her: Haha maybe I will!
Me: It's not gunna shut me up tho, lol.
Her: lol, DARN!
Me: But don't let that stop you from trying, hehe

But yeah, later that week she let me spank HER, you get my drift?
Point is, don't compliment her very much, tease the **** out of her, and don't be afraid to say some stuff to mix it up. Chicks like it.

Sure I'l admit, I ended up screwing things up with this particular girl, but that's ok, there will be others.

 

[pikachu69]

Sounds to me like SHE has next'd YOU already.

Do yourself a favor and don't try and sound sophisticated when you text.
Be flirty, be suggestive, be unpredictable. I'll give you an example. I was having a txt conversation with the this girl a couple of weeks ago, and the last part of it went something like this (paraphrasing, of course)...

Me:
Her: Hey, don't stick your tongue out at me! lol
Me: Why? You gunna spank me?
Her: Haha maybe I will!
Me: It's not gunna shut me up tho, lol.
Her: lol, DARN!
Me: But don't let that stop you from trying, hehe

But yeah, later that week she let me spank HER, you get my drift?
Point is, don't compliment her very much, tease the **** out of her, and don't be afraid to say some stuff to mix it up. Chicks like it.

Sure I'l admit, I ended up screwing things up with this particular girl, but that's ok, there will be others.

tbh i understand what you're saying but it sounds like a childs conversation you're saying in your text convo. this wouldn't work with the woman i'm trying to date she's like 28 years old and is busy with work etc, it's frustrating dealing with women who text u about twice a day max so theres a big time lag in between something being said, so setting up a date can take up to 2 days by text especially when she doesn't answer her phone.

fvck it i might as well call her tonight, is that really going to make me look bad?

i need to build rapport with her again and i can only do that on the phone. maybe it's too early to make a call and i dont think a DJ would even be worrying about such things. i'll leave it till next week then be done.

 

[slaog]

tbh i understand what you're saying but it sounds like a childs conversation you're saying in your text convo. this wouldn't work with the woman i'm trying to date she's like 28 years old and is busy with work etc, it's frustrating dealing with women who text u about twice a day max so theres a big time lag in between something being said, so setting up a date can take up to 2 days by text especially when she doesn't answer her phone.

fvck it i might as well call her tonight, is that really going to make me look bad?

i need to build rapport with her again and i can only do that on the phone. maybe it's too early to make a call and i dont think a DJ would even be worrying about such things. i'll leave it till next week then be done.

Exactly! Remember I said to treat them like little girls. That means be playful and keep the conversation light.


When women go on dates they want to feel comfortable. Guys who are nervous become very uptight and serious. Guys who keep things playful make them feel more comfortable.

 

[pikachu69]

ok i did call (but i hadn't seen these replies yet before i did..), left a funny voicemail and got a text from her apologising around 11pm.

she says: 'hey sorry havent got back to you. been crazy at work! maybe sunday would be good, but can i let you know? may have to go into work. x'

what should i respond with?

the line of work she's in is project based which im familiar with,so things get quite heated during deadline time where you can go in 7 days a week and pull all nighters, but that could still be an excuse. normally this would be an excuse and obviously im not happy with her answer, it's like 'i'll use work as an excuse and if i'm free i'll meet you' she controls too much of the power. even if it is true it's not ideal situation for me to be in that's why i haven't responded yet and would like to see what replies i get here for such a text.

 

[pikachu69]

omfg,

DO NOT CALL HER!

You will only appear even more desperate, which at this point is hard to do.

The others here have given you good advice. Stop being so nice, stop being so needy.

You invite her out with you ONCE....

If there is no reply.....next.
If gives an excuse with no alternative date.....next.
If she replies but doesn't acknowledge the invite.....next.
If she says yes and then flakes.....next

Time to harden up and stop the neediness.

And forget that bullshit about women being "busy". If she was into, she would find time. Stop giving them excuses, it is killing your game.

well i did call unfortunately (sorry, but i didn't see your post before it happened as i called 4 hours ago) and left a funny voicemail just noting she hadn't got back to me and that we should talk a bit more since we hadn't talked since the party and for her to teach me how to fly (some silly joke we had at the party)) but she texted back at 11pm which is good.

'hey sorry havent got back to you. been crazy at work! maybe sunday would be good, but can i let you know? may have to go into work. x'


what would u suggest i send in response to her text?

it's not ideal obviously, she controls the frame and the power and i need to be careful what i respond with.

you seem to be much the expert i dont want to send something stupid or too nice or too needy so im leaving it in the hands of you lol

btw, this girl is a different 1 from my other thread you posted in. i met them both at the same party so it is risky trying to go out with both but i think it's over with the other one hence why im on this one.

 

[pikachu69]

What she sent you is a future flake.

It's her way of placating you while not hurting your feelings. She wants your attention, but right now that's about it.

I wouldn't even respond. If she's interested, she WILL chase you.

I see that too, I don't like how she wants me to wait around. But what if I know its genuine that she has to go into work, she's a lawyer and has big cases at the moment, she told me this at the party not after I tried to arrange a time with her. I don't want to be rude and not reply so can u suggest something?

I'm thinking along the lines of I've already made plans for sunday. Should I put the ball in her court to offer me a time now?

I need to make her feel she needs to respect my time and I'm not going to sit around and wait for her regardless if she's got work or not. Even if its true and she has to go into work, its still a test right?

I think i see it now, she didn't get back to me in time for my initial text, that's disrespectful then i call her last night and leave a short but funny voicemail. the voicemail was fine but the AFC act of calling so soon is what has caused this sh1t test from her. She's testing me to see if I'm truly AFC or if it was a minor blip and she wants me to pass this test.

I know it's probably 90% true she may have to go into work but regardless treat it like a future flake. She's not an attention wh0re (definitely not like the stereotypical 1) quite demure, maybe insecure quieter chilled back type and she was really into me at the party and asked me out.

IF i send back 'hey, cant do sunday i've already made other plans.' is that good enough or should i make some mention for her to offer me another time or should i just leave it as a test to see if she really wants to see me?

it's time to make her chase. if she feels she's lost me that's when the power comes back to me IF shes still interested. does the chasing still work even if you haven't met up for your 1st date?

 

[nismo-4]

She's stringing you along. It's the treadmill effect. You keep running, but you get nowhere!

Damn, you need to just go for some new girls who areactually interested in you. You may have given the wrong vibes to these girls. Tell us everything that happens from the initial meeting.

I really think that you're showing desperation and neediness. Stop that sh*t. Don't you know that's an attraction killer? Every bit as much as being too available!

Also, realize that if a girl's truly interested in you, she'll make time to see you and will chase you no matter what.

You better listen to me, slaog, and Danger!

 

[facadegeniality]

hi pikachu, i rem u said that when she gave u her number...she was tipsy...if that is so, i wudn't think too much about the apparent initial interest she had.

 

[pikachu_69]

hi pikachu, i rem u said that when she gave u her number...she was tipsy...if that is so, i wudn't think too much about the apparent initial interest she had.

no that was the other girl at the party lol.. she wasn't that interested, but i got her on the phone a few days later and raised her interest super high but failed on the date unfortunately.

there's 2 different girls both at the same party. the 1 in this thread was very sober.

 

[pikachu_69]

She's stringing you along. It's the treadmill effect. You keep running, but you get nowhere!

Damn, you need to just go for some new girls who areactually interested in you. You may have given the wrong vibes to these girls. Tell us everything that happens from the initial meeting.

I really think that you're showing desperation and neediness. Stop that sh*t. Don't you know that's an attraction killer? Every bit as much as being too available!

Also, realize that if a girl's truly interested in you, she'll make time to see you and will chase you no matter what.

You better listen to me, slaog, and Danger!

The thing is she was really interested me at the party, she was sober, she kino'd me, she asked me out. she's a workaholic and puts her personal life on the backburner.

i sound all desperate and needy on here but in reality how i conduct myself with these girls is quite the opposite, it's a front cos my inner game is nowhere yet.

ok i called, mistake i know and now she's reached out to apologise but she's testing me to see if i truly am AFC.

is it not rude if i don't reply to her text though?

i know not texting back will tell her i'm not interested anymore and if she's truly interested she'll have to chase, but would she not take offence to me not replying to her text about sunday?

im not going to say anything more than' hey cant do sunday i've already made other plans' should there be the onus on her to offer me another time?

you say if she's truly interested she'll chase but we're assuming the only girls to deal with are ones who have super high interest and realistically as a recovering AFC you're not going to get as many of those in the beginning if any, modertate interest or above average interested girls are what i'm getting at the moment and what i have to deal with, it's not they're not interested, they're just not soooo interested they're hanging by the phone waiting for me to call.

if this 1 wasn't interested at all she wouldn't even want to string me along for the attention of chasing and letting her let me know on sunday. fvck that. im better than that. but at the same time, how would she read my non reply to her text? as i took offence and she effected me#?

 

[starplayer]

That text was definitely setting her up to flake sunday, so DO NOT agree to seeing her sunday.


You could either:
1. Not reply.

2. Reply "can't do sunday so i guess we'll have to do another time. later" Then never text her again unless she texts you first and asks about seeing you.

Personally I would go with 1 because it seems like she's not at all interested and just wants to mess with your head. NEXT

 

[pikachu69]

Her: Maybe sunday blah blah blah, I may have to work, can I let you know?
You: Take care of your work stuff, we'll pick a time when you're more sure of your schedule.

Then forget her and go find other women.

you know what i;ve ended what i've written and im going with what you wrote, but i want to add at the beginning that ive made other plans for sunday at the beginning.

'cant do sunday, already made other plans with someone. take care of your work stuff, we'll pick a time when you're more sure of your schedule.'

is that ok? or is mentioning the someone too obvious trying to make her jealous? if shes interested she'll come back to me with an offer of a time right?

i usually put a 'x' at the end of my texts with her so if i dont she's a girl so she'll notice that, should i put 1 on or remove it for this text?

 

[pikachu69]

It does not sound bitter or angry, it sounds like someone who is not interested in "Maybe plans". Trust me, if she has even the slightest bit of interest, this will only help you.

Your response above is too wordy, it's terrible. You do NOT want to suggest in any way shape or form that you will not meet up again. THAT makes you look bitter. That is why you say that you will "let her know" and then disappear. When you do not, she will come hunting your way for the "lost attention". That's the next step you will need help with, because often men confuse that for actual interest. It isn't, it is just validation.

If it's been 24 hours then just go with "Hey something came up, I'll pick another day and let you know". Then forget about her.

hey sorry i edited my last post to add what you wrote cos it sounds better. is what i've written now ok?

'sorry for late reply. cant do sunday im afraid, already made other plans with someone. take care of your work stuff, we'll pick a time when you're more sure of your schedule.'

is that too obvious trying to make her jealous with the 'someone' bit? thats my only sticking point as it may aggravate her if she assumes im trying to communicate there's another girl.

also i just realised by me saying i made other plans on sunday and then telling her to take care of her work stuff and we'll pick another time when shes sure of her schedule, does the first bit about making other plans take away the aspect of me not accepting a maybe answer?

it has been 24 hours though i guess i could still send this right? should i even be apologising for a late reply?

you said i should say somewhere i should let her know but what i've written above doesn't say i'll let her know does it?

 

[HolyG]

pika, open up a freaking approach journal already. either put up, or shut up.

 

[pikachu69]

pika, open up a freaking approach journal already. either put up, or shut up.

whats an approach journal?

 

[HolyG]

whats an approach journal?

This

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=116204&highlight=j0n

and that

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=134914&highlight=j0n




Both guys got mad vagina because they put in the work. They got rejected, but they also got laid too.