Should I join a Fraternity/Frat life [Official thread]
- Thread starter Golfboy
- Start date
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
I did most of it, and then I quit, so I have no problem spilling the beans. I am anti-frat, so know that I have bias.
Your pledge semester is about tearing you down as an individual and rebuilding you with a new identity as a member of the group. Most hazing is just basically being someone's servant - go get this, go do that, but the fun stuff is very psychological. Some chapters do not haze hardly at all - others really get into it. A popular game is the lineup gig where the pledges stand at attention under spotlights in darkness and get screamed at and quizzed on frat facts by a drill seargent-type muscle man. Football and wrestling prepared me well for being screamed at.
Most guys in the frat, no matter how cool they seem at first, would be losers if it were not for all of the other guys. Yes, there are sorority hos, and that is a benefit, but you can always just make friends with a few guys in the frat and hang with them for most of what they do. Act like you are thinking of pledging and they will all kiss your ass. Then string them along for four years. And please, if you have to pledge, don't be a pike.
Your pledge semester is about tearing you down as an individual and rebuilding you with a new identity as a member of the group. Most hazing is just basically being someone's servant - go get this, go do that, but the fun stuff is very psychological. Some chapters do not haze hardly at all - others really get into it. A popular game is the lineup gig where the pledges stand at attention under spotlights in darkness and get screamed at and quizzed on frat facts by a drill seargent-type muscle man. Football and wrestling prepared me well for being screamed at.
Most guys in the frat, no matter how cool they seem at first, would be losers if it were not for all of the other guys. Yes, there are sorority hos, and that is a benefit, but you can always just make friends with a few guys in the frat and hang with them for most of what they do. Act like you are thinking of pledging and they will all kiss your ass. Then string them along for four years. And please, if you have to pledge, don't be a pike.
jiza101
Master Don Juan
If i went to college i wouldn't... ****ed if i would have dudes screaming sh!t at me... I would rather be independent... What kind of person would let ****s yell at them and sh!t 
Bible - What's a "pike?"
I helped start one, and then as President last semester, disbanded it. Being in a frat starts out being cool, but then it drops off, because most frats "hate" other ones and it gets really pointless. Frat's aren't like on movies or tv shows. Just because you have letters doesn't mean "hey, I'm getting ass everyday!" You'll get some at parties, but that is about it. If you think that being a frat will get you "connections" like they say...Just make friends with others.
Overall, save the money and time and just study and make friends. Go to all the parties. Nearly every week, there is a kickass party by a different frat. Go to those, instead of one party. You'll have more fun.
I helped start one, and then as President last semester, disbanded it. Being in a frat starts out being cool, but then it drops off, because most frats "hate" other ones and it gets really pointless. Frat's aren't like on movies or tv shows. Just because you have letters doesn't mean "hey, I'm getting ass everyday!" You'll get some at parties, but that is about it. If you think that being a frat will get you "connections" like they say...Just make friends with others.
Overall, save the money and time and just study and make friends. Go to all the parties. Nearly every week, there is a kickass party by a different frat. Go to those, instead of one party. You'll have more fun.
Some say joing a frat is like buying your friends etc. The reality is your paying for a social life and a damn good one. (depending on a frat)
Every week we have an exchange with a sorority, not the fugly ones either, I am talking about girls for the most part that are 7+, given you are usually sh!tfaced at these events and they are forced to wear some sorta sluty outfit, even better.
How many parties do you go to where the majority of the girls are hot and there to have fun? Ratio is always good and no need to worry about waiting in line or whatever.
Rush a few events and see how it is, its not for everyone but its not as bad as everyone/media portrays it.
PS. There is nothing wrong with pikes.
Every week we have an exchange with a sorority, not the fugly ones either, I am talking about girls for the most part that are 7+, given you are usually sh!tfaced at these events and they are forced to wear some sorta sluty outfit, even better.
How many parties do you go to where the majority of the girls are hot and there to have fun? Ratio is always good and no need to worry about waiting in line or whatever.
Rush a few events and see how it is, its not for everyone but its not as bad as everyone/media portrays it.
PS. There is nothing wrong with pikes.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
I don't get off on drunk chicks, so that was never that interesting.
Pikes (pi kappa alpha) are the worst frat, imho. They haze the most; they treat their pledges the worst; and they all look like cookie-cutter frat boy clones. To be fair, they did get the hottest women.
The other frats I knew:
sig ep- rich boys
pi kappa phi - stoners
lambda chi - nerdy kids, "skippies," no hazing
Pikes (pi kappa alpha) are the worst frat, imho. They haze the most; they treat their pledges the worst; and they all look like cookie-cutter frat boy clones. To be fair, they did get the hottest women.
The other frats I knew:
sig ep- rich boys
pi kappa phi - stoners
lambda chi - nerdy kids, "skippies," no hazing
in process of joining a Frat...need help asap!!!
Alright, so me and one of my boys at college decided to go to these Frat rushes to check out one of the frats on campus. We NEVER stayed for a full event, we didnt attend more then 2 or 3 of the events and then all of a sudden we get a Bid to join the frat (basically means that the brothers want us to pledge to join).
So after serious consideration, we decided to accept the bid on sunday (last night). So we had our first day of pledging, and i hated it. I didnt really like the brothers much, i dont want to sacrafice most of my day 8pm-1am usually (mon-thurs) and its not something that i reallly want to be a part of. Im also very worried about my grades slipping because im in a pharmacy program and i have to keep up a good solid GPA.
Now, i think its already to late to quit. If i quit id look like a bitcch..and im not one to give up. Its not like im scared of the pledge process, i just dont WANT to do this..any tips anyone?? have any of u been through a similar situtation??
Alright, so me and one of my boys at college decided to go to these Frat rushes to check out one of the frats on campus. We NEVER stayed for a full event, we didnt attend more then 2 or 3 of the events and then all of a sudden we get a Bid to join the frat (basically means that the brothers want us to pledge to join).
So after serious consideration, we decided to accept the bid on sunday (last night). So we had our first day of pledging, and i hated it. I didnt really like the brothers much, i dont want to sacrafice most of my day 8pm-1am usually (mon-thurs) and its not something that i reallly want to be a part of. Im also very worried about my grades slipping because im in a pharmacy program and i have to keep up a good solid GPA.
Now, i think its already to late to quit. If i quit id look like a bitcch..and im not one to give up. Its not like im scared of the pledge process, i just dont WANT to do this..any tips anyone?? have any of u been through a similar situtation??
spider_007
Master Don Juan
dumb ass, what did you think it was gona happen they are just gona take you in their circle just like that????
your eather somebodys biach or your own man. if you want to be somebodys biaach keep at it (im sure the "brothers" care alot about you) . If you want to be a man and finish your school and have a good life after this, you know what to do. I'm not saying this is gona be easy, but you need to buy your soul back.
it's ok to be a quiter when you make a mistake. in fact it's sometimes smart to quit while ahead.
they are just gona take you in their circle just like that???? your eather somebodys biach or your own man. if you want to be somebodys biaach keep at it (im sure the "brothers" care alot about you) . If you want to be a man and finish your school and have a good life after this, you know what to do. I'm not saying this is gona be easy, but you need to buy your soul back.
it's ok to be a quiter when you make a mistake. in fact it's sometimes smart to quit while ahead.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
If you don't like it now, it is only going to get worse. I was the president of my pledge class for three months before I quit. The sooner you end it the better.
Re:
I did the same thing, twice in fact.
Once at UMAINE, and Once at the college I finished at.
Why?
At Umaine I decided I would transfer. I stopped being a civil engineer, went to study business, lost my scholarships as a result and so went somewhere cheaper. The pledging process was 13 weeks. If you TRULY want it, you can do it, but you have to want it. My cousin is in PIKE at UMO, and he has the highest GPA for his major in engineering AND has been a frat brother since his freshman year. He loves it. I don't think he's the prototypical frat guy, but he does drink a lot and his fiance is a sister, also.
At the other college I went to, I almost went for a frat again. But this time I just found it pointless. I was close friends with the guys, but never understood standing in a field at 9pm, shouting rants about the frat, with these guys. Looking back, I'd probably have stuck it out, if for nothing more than the experience. But I couldn't. *I* was paying for college, and wasn't about to let my grades slip even .1 pts, so I told them, I'm not doing it this semester. Maybe next semester. I stayed friends with the guys, went to the parties, felt kinda dumb about dropping it, but I had to do what was best for me, since that's what I was there for.
------------------------------------
If you don't like the brothers, then there's your answer. Who cares what they think?
Just be honest.
Can't say I knew many guys with good GPAs in frats, and going forward, even if you're not pledging, you're taking a pledge to be PART of the frat, and will there for have to be part of every other ongoing PLEDGE ceremony until the end of your years. Meaning, you will be giving the orders while shouting rants in a field, instead of being on the receiving end.
Believe me, it happens every year to the frats. Guys join, then back out. Those that THINK they want it for the image, don't. Depending on your college, will depend on who you join with. At other colleges I've gone to and hung with the guys, there were always a theme. Some were athletic frats, some were just juice heads, or party frats, or study frats, whatever. Obviously they all party, but there's often an underlying theme to them.
The whole Pledging process is just psychological. It's meant to 'test' your allegiance to their frat. It's also a way of the big brothers getting back on guys for what they went through, so it's a payback sort of system, where some guys who got it bad, pay back the worst. If you go through with it, you're best to have a brother who is a friend and is willing to slip some tips on things coming up so you can succeed better. If you want it, talk to your 'big brother' and tell him what's up. Maybe he can cut some slack if they want you. If they're just into bolstering numbers and fees, they run the other way.
A-Unit
I did the same thing, twice in fact.
Once at UMAINE, and Once at the college I finished at.
Why?
At Umaine I decided I would transfer. I stopped being a civil engineer, went to study business, lost my scholarships as a result and so went somewhere cheaper. The pledging process was 13 weeks. If you TRULY want it, you can do it, but you have to want it. My cousin is in PIKE at UMO, and he has the highest GPA for his major in engineering AND has been a frat brother since his freshman year. He loves it. I don't think he's the prototypical frat guy, but he does drink a lot and his fiance is a sister, also.
At the other college I went to, I almost went for a frat again. But this time I just found it pointless. I was close friends with the guys, but never understood standing in a field at 9pm, shouting rants about the frat, with these guys. Looking back, I'd probably have stuck it out, if for nothing more than the experience. But I couldn't. *I* was paying for college, and wasn't about to let my grades slip even .1 pts, so I told them, I'm not doing it this semester. Maybe next semester. I stayed friends with the guys, went to the parties, felt kinda dumb about dropping it, but I had to do what was best for me, since that's what I was there for.
------------------------------------
If you don't like the brothers, then there's your answer. Who cares what they think?
Just be honest.
Can't say I knew many guys with good GPAs in frats, and going forward, even if you're not pledging, you're taking a pledge to be PART of the frat, and will there for have to be part of every other ongoing PLEDGE ceremony until the end of your years. Meaning, you will be giving the orders while shouting rants in a field, instead of being on the receiving end.
Believe me, it happens every year to the frats. Guys join, then back out. Those that THINK they want it for the image, don't. Depending on your college, will depend on who you join with. At other colleges I've gone to and hung with the guys, there were always a theme. Some were athletic frats, some were just juice heads, or party frats, or study frats, whatever. Obviously they all party, but there's often an underlying theme to them.
The whole Pledging process is just psychological. It's meant to 'test' your allegiance to their frat. It's also a way of the big brothers getting back on guys for what they went through, so it's a payback sort of system, where some guys who got it bad, pay back the worst. If you go through with it, you're best to have a brother who is a friend and is willing to slip some tips on things coming up so you can succeed better. If you want it, talk to your 'big brother' and tell him what's up. Maybe he can cut some slack if they want you. If they're just into bolstering numbers and fees, they run the other way.
A-Unit
At this point you probably have a woman (or multiple women) chasing you around, calling you all the time, wanting to be with you. So let's talk about how to KEEP a woman interested in you once you have her. This is BIG! There is nothing worse than getting dumped by a woman that you really, really like.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
TurboOverCubicInches
Don Juan
I am a PIKE alumni (Pi Kappa Alpha).
All I can say, is it depends on the house. Not just the fraternity, the individual house. For example, a Sig Ep chapter at one school can be different than a Sig Ep chapter at another school. Same goes for all fraternities.
I LOVED my fraternity days. I am 26 now, doing quite well in life, and two of my best friends are my fraternity brothers.
I made alot of connections as well. My fraternity has produced many sucessful businessmen, lawyers, doctors, you name it.
For me, I learned alot of social skills being in the fraternity. I also learned alot of the DJ principles that are on this site.
Here's what I can tell you. If the fraternity you are in hazes, don't join. You don't need that. If the fraternity truly cares about their peldges, they will not make you run around naked in the dead of winter cleaning snow of the active brothers cars.
Repuation. Check out the fraternity's reputation. Find out the average GPA of the chapter. Talk to sorority girls who you trust. Stick around for a few weeks; you can always tell them you are not interested anymore.
Do you sell your soul? Depends on the fraternity. Good fraternities do not make you sell your soul. Some do. Many don't.
Is it buying friends? Absolutely not. You are NOT going to have 60 or 70 instant friends when you join. Doesn't work like that. Most likely, you'll 3 or 4 close friends, 10 or 12 good buddies that you hang out with all the time, and the rest will be guys are you cool with on a civil level.
The neat thing about a fraternity though, is that even if guys are not your good friend, they are still on your side because you guys all wear the same letters and, if its a good fraternity, live by the meaning of the letters.
I ask people who went to private school this question: Since your parents paid for private school, do you consider the best friends you made in private school to be "bought"? Probably not.
People say "well, if you were not in the fraternity, those guys would not be your friends". Possibly true. But I ask them this:
If you did not work in the accounting department at ACME accounting, do you think the people who you work with would talk to you? Probably not. Why? BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW THEM AND THEY DON'T KNOW YOU, STUPID!
Same with fraternities. If you get to know them, they are decent guys, whether or not you are one of their brothers. We used to hang out with non-greeks all the time. Some of our best friends were-non greeks.
Sometimes, for liability reasons, which you will learn about when if you get into the greek system, houses will shut out people they don't know. For good reason.
Make the right decision. If there are not any good houses on your campus (though I bet there is at least one), forget it.
If there is, I recommend the experience.
Peace
All I can say, is it depends on the house. Not just the fraternity, the individual house. For example, a Sig Ep chapter at one school can be different than a Sig Ep chapter at another school. Same goes for all fraternities.
I LOVED my fraternity days. I am 26 now, doing quite well in life, and two of my best friends are my fraternity brothers.
I made alot of connections as well. My fraternity has produced many sucessful businessmen, lawyers, doctors, you name it.
For me, I learned alot of social skills being in the fraternity. I also learned alot of the DJ principles that are on this site.
Here's what I can tell you. If the fraternity you are in hazes, don't join. You don't need that. If the fraternity truly cares about their peldges, they will not make you run around naked in the dead of winter cleaning snow of the active brothers cars.
Repuation. Check out the fraternity's reputation. Find out the average GPA of the chapter. Talk to sorority girls who you trust. Stick around for a few weeks; you can always tell them you are not interested anymore.
Do you sell your soul? Depends on the fraternity. Good fraternities do not make you sell your soul. Some do. Many don't.
Is it buying friends? Absolutely not. You are NOT going to have 60 or 70 instant friends when you join. Doesn't work like that. Most likely, you'll 3 or 4 close friends, 10 or 12 good buddies that you hang out with all the time, and the rest will be guys are you cool with on a civil level.
The neat thing about a fraternity though, is that even if guys are not your good friend, they are still on your side because you guys all wear the same letters and, if its a good fraternity, live by the meaning of the letters.
I ask people who went to private school this question: Since your parents paid for private school, do you consider the best friends you made in private school to be "bought"? Probably not.
People say "well, if you were not in the fraternity, those guys would not be your friends". Possibly true. But I ask them this:
If you did not work in the accounting department at ACME accounting, do you think the people who you work with would talk to you? Probably not. Why? BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW THEM AND THEY DON'T KNOW YOU, STUPID!
Same with fraternities. If you get to know them, they are decent guys, whether or not you are one of their brothers. We used to hang out with non-greeks all the time. Some of our best friends were-non greeks.
Sometimes, for liability reasons, which you will learn about when if you get into the greek system, houses will shut out people they don't know. For good reason.
Make the right decision. If there are not any good houses on your campus (though I bet there is at least one), forget it.
If there is, I recommend the experience.
Peace
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
Wow, turbo, I did not know there was such a thing as a Pike chapter that did not haze. They were the definition of hazing at my school.
GSXR600
Don Juan
I think unless you know alot of the people. frats are just for people that have to pay for friends. I loved the dorms, full of cool people and there coed. atleast mine were
Channel your excited feelings into positive thoughts and behaviors. You will attract women by being enthusiastic, radiating energy, and becoming someone who is fun to be around.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
mattathensga
Don Juan
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Frat Ratz, jesus, another breed of humans that need cleansed from the gene pool... DOESN"T anyone make friends on their own without mommy and daddy's money?!?!?!
my advice is to just walk away, F' em.. make friends the easy way, without em beating the crap out of you to prove yourself worthy....
my advice is to just walk away, F' em.. make friends the easy way, without em beating the crap out of you to prove yourself worthy....
Production6257
Don Juan
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Should I join a frat?
I was sitting in my dorm room today, thinking about how I am having a lot of trouble meeting new people, when a thought dawned on me. Maybe joining a fraternity would help me make new friends, meet girls, establish social proof, etc.
I was just wondering what you guys thought of this idea. What are the PROS/CONS of this? Also, does anyone have any idea how much it costs to join?
This may be my only choice as I suck at meeting people. (I'm a sophomore in college btw)
I was sitting in my dorm room today, thinking about how I am having a lot of trouble meeting new people, when a thought dawned on me. Maybe joining a fraternity would help me make new friends, meet girls, establish social proof, etc.
I was just wondering what you guys thought of this idea. What are the PROS/CONS of this? Also, does anyone have any idea how much it costs to join?
This may be my only choice as I suck at meeting people. (I'm a sophomore in college btw)
charlie brown
Don Juan
joining a frat willhelpget u laid, and helpyou make friends easier, what with all those parties n all. but its a decision you must make not other djs
if you cant make friends joining a frat, chances are joining one will not help that much. most kids that I know that join frats were friends with a brother already in the fraternaty. I knew a bunch of kids in alpha gamma rho, and later I was asked if I was interested in joining.
pros: parties, networking, friends, women.
cons: makes school work harder to finish, and some people will dislike you. if you can handle both of these, you should be okay.
pros: parties, networking, friends, women.
cons: makes school work harder to finish, and some people will dislike you. if you can handle both of these, you should be okay.
Uro.Essence
Don Juan
my guess is if you can't really make that many contacts now the frat won't take you anyways, unless you play them as you would a target. Show them value, they want to know you have something to offer to the frat not the other way around.
But yes this will help you get networks happening and defintily get laid but u still should work to become the "it" guy in the frat to get all the women flocking.
Remember play the frat like you would a target in order for them to be interested in you.
But yes this will help you get networks happening and defintily get laid but u still should work to become the "it" guy in the frat to get all the women flocking.
Remember play the frat like you would a target in order for them to be interested in you.
