Should i call more?

[DJinTraining06]

I havent been using this site much lately, met this girl we went out a few times the past couple weeks, and its goin really well. She is really into me and i really like this chick. She has been callin me alot, there hasnt been one day we havent talked since our first date and its been like 2 weeks now. Should i not call her everyday still? Everytime i talk to her shes says "i guess ill talk to u..... tomorow? i dunno u may get sick of me"

So obviously she wants to talk to me everyday, but should i be doin that yet, so early on? Im thinkin no, but this seems like the kinda girl that likes that. I dunno i dont wanna mess this one up. Shes one of the best i been out with in ages.

 

[COMPTON]

Instead of calling her everyday you should go out. If youre like me I hate talkin on the phone. I would do stuff with her.

 

[Incog]

If you continue the constant calling, it will get old, quick. Instead of phone conversations, visit each other.

 

[COMPTON]

Dont get me wrong youre doin a good job, just beware of the shyt test bro.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Sounds like you have woman who needs constant reassurance. Be careful or she'll start gauging the viability of the relationship by how often you interact. It could cause a lot of maintenance in the long run.

 

[DJinTraining06]

Dont get me wrong youre doin a good job, just beware of the shyt test bro.

Yea thats what im afraid of, can u explain wat exactly u mean by shyt test. I know wat that means, but like what kind of test would that be? just curious. Trying to understand what she would be trying to deduce about me from that kind of test.

 

[COMPTON]

I mean't the tests in general (sorry), but as francisco stated that the girl seems insecure and may need reassurance from you. And from past experiences those ladys are generally looking to you for what they really want from a guy and you are just a stepping stone for the next step in their lives SO BEWARE THE TESTS! and just be indifferent.

 

[COMPTON]

Still good luck bro and keep up the good work like I said youre doin good

 

[amoka]

going out couple of weeks and no fvck close? What you are waiting for?... to get married before fvcking her?

 

[DJinTraining06]

Sounds like you have woman who needs constant reassurance. Be careful or she'll start gauging the viability of the relationship by how often you interact. It could cause a lot of maintenance in the long run.

Yea i dunno, ive gone out with a girl like that before, and it was annoying, but this one doesnt seem as extreme, she seems to just be acting like a girl who genuinely likes my company and stuff. Could be wrong i dunno. But i doubt that is the problem. She is cute, very well adjusted and sweet. Nice rack too. Only thing that could stear some guys and i emphasize some, away from her is that shes a tad thick. but i like that sorta thing to a degree and i know many others do. So my pt being that i doubt shed be so desperate for reasurance considering how she looks and shes bubbly so its def not a matter of bein shy. So im sure she has had alot of male attention and expereience in her life. Shes 23 so shes prob just bein an infatuated girl i think.

But still makes me nervous, we met on match.com and i know how girls on there date like crazy, 1 wrong move by me and she could go meet 5 guys. And beleive me from lots of experience on match now, cute girls get bombarded with emails on there.

I suppose i shouldnt be so neurotic, and i know ive said this a couple times before on this board, but this chick is great. I dunno if i should beleive her that she wants to speak to me all the time, or if its a shyt test as someone above posted.

I mean im actualyl really busy lately, i work, take classes, im studying all the time, occasiaonllyl out wit firends when i have time, and with the holidays and all, it would seem its almsot impossible for me to come across as a wussy needy guy callin her all the time, but i never trust girls anymore. Anytime i show them i like them they seem to wanna end it immediately. So not sure if i should call the day after seeing her or wait a couple days and let her contact me. Dont wanna overkill it.

I always find it funny how girls can call u 30 times in a week, yet if u call them a few times, they get turned off. its like u cant win. Like im really enjoying her comapny and calls and all that, yet if i try and give back to her and call it could repulse her. ill never get it.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...I always find it funny how girls can call u 30 times in a week, yet if u call them a few times, they get turned off. its like u cant win. Like im really enjoying her comapny and calls and all that, yet if i try and give back to her and call it could repulse her. ill never get it.

Women can have AFC tendencies too. I just met one on Match who almost jumped through the phone when I told her to meet me for coffee. She's a very attractive woman and like you said about your girl, could probably get a bunch of dates in less than a heartbeat on Match.

The thing is, if they see something in you that they like and they are above the game playing, expect them to pursue you and engage a lot of contact. The trick for guys is to not just feed their need for distant romantic attention. This includes tons of emails, text messages or phone calls. Those things are occasionally nice for a quick message like "Were we ordering a garbage pizza or just pepperoni?", "I'm running late, wait for me at the bar" or "Be sure not to wear anything under your dress tonight."

What you need to do give her attention properly by allowing her to be in your presence. Done correctly this can be used as a powerful emotional (and at times intimate) bond. This can only be achieved by physical presence. So no, don't give her all of your free time. However, the time that you do give her, make it special to her by making it kinda unique (if you're interested in holding on to her for a possible LTR).

For example, letting a woman occasionally take part in your day to day life is huge if they have a high interest level in you. For me I let a woman come along with me while shopping. Grocery shopping together is surprisingly intimate to some women. Another thing is shopping for clothing or cologne together. Asking her how you'd look in something or if she likes the scent of a particular cologne is huge. Remember though, you don't need to like it just because she does (can we say challenge?).

So base your action first on what you want from this girl then on how she reacts to your actions then act accordingly. It seems that you have a good grasp on DJ concepts, your actions will be more easily made once you specifically determine your objective.

 

[SamePendo]

So if you know that if you call them, for whatever reason, they lose interest, why do you keep doing it?

Women like to think they conquering you. Once they know you are theirs, they won the game.

Have you made out with her? I'm guessing you haven't. You are steering straight to LJBF zone. Are you ACTIVELY seeing at least another woman besides her? I'm guessing not.

Do what you know you have to do, over and over again, and soon it will be a habit and will be part of you.

 

[DJinTraining06]

going out couple of weeks and no fvck close? What you are waiting for?... to get married before fvcking her?

Nahh not possible yet man. She lives wit her folks and they dont let her have guys in her room, nor does she have a lock. i live at home still in a 2 bedroom co-op with my mom. It aint happening till one of our parents is out of town

 

[DJinTraining06]

So if you know that if you call them, for whatever reason, they lose interest, why do you keep doing it?

Women like to think they conquering you. Once they know you are theirs, they won the game.

Have you made out with her? I'm guessing you haven't. You are steering straight to LJBF zone. Are you ACTIVELY seeing at least another woman besides her? I'm guessing not.

Do what you know you have to do, over and over again, and soon it will be a habit and will be part of you.

we made out for 40 mins in my car, and she was kinda moaning when i was kissing her neck and sticking my hand up her shirt and stuff. And she was touching me alot too. In the movie she was rubbing my arm and leg the whole time, and then again in mycar we made out for like 5 mins but cut it short cuz it was real late and we both ahd work. We havent been able to get any more physcial ( im assuming she wanted to ) cuz we both live at home, and shes not a girl u take to a motel, shes smart and sweet. not a trashy ho. def not friend zone. But my fears were just eliminated a little 20 mins ago she just called me at work and we talked for a while. She is really into me, im not so so worried now. I think im the insecure one here, i feel really good with her. Very into her. With all my past horrors with dating in the past yr, i have no confidence in girls liking me past a third date anymore. the 3rd date is always the end for me it seems. like some curse. I think i may have broke it tho.

 

[DJinTraining06]

What you need to do give her attention properly by allowing her to be in your presence. Done correctly this can be used as a powerful emotional (and at times intimate) bond. This can only be achieved by physical presence. So no, don't give her all of your free time. However, the time that you do give her, make it special to her by making it kinda unique (if you're interested in holding on to her for a possible LTR).

I see wat ur sayin bout givin her the proper attention, but its just such a fine line, i can never figure out how much attention is too much or too little. I don't want her to think im boring and that i dont like her. I want her to see me bein excited to be with her. I can never figure that one out. How do u keep a girl on her toes, yet not have her think u dont give a **** bout her, or that ur boring? I tried to play the game with my last gf over ayr ago and it worked cuz she needed constant reassurance, she thought i never wanted to see her and crap, which was totally untrue. I was just tryin to play it right. and it worked amazingly, she was obsessed with me. But then i got comfortable and let my guard down and she ate me alive. She realized she had me and that i actually wanted to see her and she ended up treating me like crap and dumping me a few months after i stopped using sosuave stuff.

ive wanted to call or text this girl a bunch of times, and held back. i think im doin good so far. just wonderin when to let up with that.

 

[st_99]

I'm in the same situation bro, I have this chick that does and says the right things most of the time and does 98% of the calling. I too feel like perhaps I'm not reciprocating enough and that maybe I should just call out of the blue to say high sometimes... We've had sex multiple times and I'm starting to think that she thinks the only reason why I want to see her is for sex. She gives all the compliments, I give very few. She calls, I don't. She talks about the future, I don't. I sometimes think I'm being a bit too distant but then again, I know that if I really like a girl, her being distant only makes me more crazy and want her more. I dont have the answers.

 

[Aquilo]

Yeah. What´s up with that anyways?

As soon as you show that you could make ANY kind of effort, like returning calls, the chicks seems to play hard to get. It seems a bit destructive to me. It´s seems hard to get the proper control in that way

 

[DJinTraining06]

I'm in the same situation bro, I have this chick that does and says the right things most of the time and does 98% of the calling. I too feel like perhaps I'm not reciprocating enough and that maybe I should just call out of the blue to say high sometimes... We've had sex multiple times and I'm starting to think that she thinks the only reason why I want to see her is for sex. She gives all the compliments, I give very few. She calls, I don't. She talks about the future, I don't. I sometimes think I'm being a bit too distant but then again, I know that if I really like a girl, her being distant only makes me more crazy and want her more. I dont have the answers.

yea so confusing. I broke down and i called her last night just to say hi. I would bet money she doesnt call tonite now. I shoulda remained more of a mystery.