Should I be worried about my friend?

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A friend of mine is about to get married. Allow me to quickly enumerate the rules he's broken:
-- Chose a woman he liked even though she didn't like him.
-- Chose a woman with a young child from an abusive ex, & all the issues that go along with that.
-- Came down with a case of oneitis so severe that even the biggest AFC that ever lived would say, "Damn dude, you've got oneitis something fierce."
-- Supplicated & threw himself at her w/o mercy for her or himself, like watching someone smash his head repeatedly against a concrete abutment.
-- Acts like she is the greatest thing in the universe.
-- Is now getting married.
-- Thinks that making it to the altar is crossing some kind of a finish line.

She:
-- Has plenty of weird hang-ups
-- Says very hurtful things to him for no reason that I can see.
-- Has gotten so upset over what I think are minor things, that she's told him, in effect, "I'm sending you away & I'll let you know when (& if) I want you back."

Now, despite doing everything wrong that one can do, she has agreed to marry him. He has pointed out to her that she will never again for the rest of her life EVER find a man who's as good to her as he is. This is true, and she is smart enough to know it logically, but we all know how much logic matters to women.

OK, I'm presenting a very grim view here because I'm summarizing the red flags. I'm sure he would tell the story very differently. But still.

I am flabbergasted that she agreed to even DATE him, much less MARRY him, when he behaved like that. How is it possible? Is this going to come to a bad end for him? How did he ever make it to the 2nd date?
 

DJDamage

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Originally posted by johnny_dangerously
I am flabbergasted that she agreed to even DATE him, much less MARRY him, when he behaved like that. How is it possible? Is this going to come to a bad end for him? How did he ever make it to the 2nd date?
She couldn't find anyone better. Sounds like this woman likes to be in control possibly due to her ex being in control and abusive.

Just because she married him does not mean she loves him. She has her own reasoning to do so. Possibly security of double income and a father figure to her son.

The illusion of a happy marriage has gotten to your friend, but as Kramer from Seinfeld once said: Marriage is an institution of men made prison ". Your friend is in for hard labour.

Another one bites the dust.
 

crowes22

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Thinks that making it to the altar is crossing some kind of a finish line.

Sorry, but your friend is an idiot. She thinks he is an idiot too. He is in for a lifetime of personal servitude, she knows she has herself a sucker.
 
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Re: Re: Should I be worried about my friend?

Is she financially viable by herself?
Yes, she makes good money, but more never hurts.
Sorry, but your friend is an idiot
Obviously. But is it possible that he, by sheer dumb luck, has fould the one woman on earth with enough common sense to realize how lucky SHE is & not screw everything up? I'd like to believe so, but the cynic in me says that within 5 years she will have to go to Barbados to "find herself" with a French sculptor named Fillipe. Sadly, he is impervious to guidance: he is convinced that his methods are sound because they appear to have "worked."
 

DJDamage

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Re: Re: Re: Should I be worried about my friend?

Originally posted by johnny_dangerously
he is convinced that his methods are sound because they appear to have "worked."
That is the ultimate believe of an AFC: Getting the girl no matter what and how = Success.

As oppose as living life under your own terms without trying to kiss anyone's ass.

Dating > Being single.

Being single > Being married to someone who doesn't love/respect you.
 

drZaius09

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Originally posted by johnny_dangerously
-- Thinks that making it to the altar is crossing some kind of a finish line.
This is VERY common. I think a lot of the guys on here probably feel the same way, but wouldnt care to admit it.

This is such an easy case, I'm not even going to bother with it. This would be better suited as pro-bono work for DJ beginners. All I will say is, don't be surprised to see your friend on here in a few weeks/months/years posting a new topic-- Help! My wife is f#cking everyone in the neighborhood!

Is this girl attractive, btw? Sounds like the perfect kind of prey for me-- with a loser, chump husband like that, you know she's lookin hard for some smooth, deep d#ckin on the side... hahaha :up: I know it may sound harsh, but this kind of story is music to my ears. I love married chicks-- especially those married to idiots!
 

crowes22

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Re: Re: Re: Should I be worried about my friend?

Originally posted by johnny_dangerously
Obviously. But is it possible that he, by sheer dumb luck, has fould the one woman on earth with enough common sense to realize how lucky SHE is & not screw everything up? I'd like to believe so, but the cynic in me says that within 5 years she will have to go to Barbados to "find herself" with a French sculptor named Fillipe. Sadly, he is impervious to guidance: he is convinced that his methods are sound because they appear to have "worked."
You already said she treats him like crap, so no she doesn't realize how lucky she is. She is no catch at all if she treats her man the way you described. The best thing that could happen to your friend is for him to wise up and leave her waiting at the altar.
 
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Is this girl attractive, btw?

I don't think so, but he sees something in her that is invisible to me.

You already said she treats him like crap, so no she doesn't realize how lucky she is.

Good point. She probably thinks she's entitled to be treated like a princess. Which means her demands will grow & grow until one day...KABOOM!

The best thing that could happen to your friend is for him to wise up and leave her waiting at the altar.

I think so, too. I didn't want to say so at the start, though, because I wanted to hear responses w/o leading the witness.
 

SAYNO

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Damn!

Why can't all the self concerned, self centered, verbally abusive, emotionally crippled, evil, manipulative b*tches, just die off.

HUH???


Sayno'
 
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Or better yet, round 'em all up together with the evil pimps & put 'em in a penal colony somewhere with plenty of sex toys & TV & let them all hassle each other to death.
 

SAYNO

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Damn!

Why can't all the self concerned, self centered, verbally abusive, emotionally crippled, evil, manipulative b*tches, just die off.

HUH???


Sayno'
 

drZaius09

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Originally posted by johnny_dangerously
Or better yet, round 'em all up together with the evil pimps & put 'em in a penal colony somewhere with plenty of sex toys & TV & let them all hassle each other to death.
Ok... but I'll also need a playstation and a healthy marijuana crop :)
 

Tboner

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You shouldn't worry about your friend. You cannot control other people, so it's not worth worrying about others' decisions.

Yes, he's in a losing situation, but it's by his choice. He is really desperate and you can't help him. I've had friends in similar situations. Plan on losing him as a friend.

You can say nothing and let him enter the gates of hell. Then she will dominate his time and you'll never see him again because you're a bad influence.

If you do hang out with him while he's suffering, you'll get fed up with listening to his constant complaining and he'll become envious of your lifestyle. He'll be a negative influence on you.

If you try to save him, he'll probably get angry, next you as a friend and go ahead with the wedding.

One interesting side effect of learning the game, is that just like I don't need any one woman, I also don't need any one buddy.
 

MacDiddy

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Leave him be... It's his life and the only thing your unsolicited intervention will serve is to screw things up for him(in his mind) The satisfaction, companionship etc is something that he wants, despite the cost...
 

decades

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Stay out of it,

People do things because they need to learn lessons and the way to learn lessons is by experience...you have to experience it for yourself to learn and you have to make your own mistakes. He doesn't see what you see. its a blind spot and people have many blind spots about many things. But the only way he will truly learn about himself and fix himself for the rest of his life is to do what he thinks is right and learn from his decisions. Be supportive and help only when ASKED....

regards

mike
 
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Yeah, you guys are right. He's the kind of guy who will disappear anyway as soon as he gets married, he won't expend any effort to stay in contact with any of his buddies, so I'd best just write him off right now & forget it.
 
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