Shooting yourself in the foot - approach/interaction Journal

[RazorRambo24]

Man , I gotta say you have no idea how to be playful. How do you take offense/take such a small thing so seriously? You like this girl, -this girl is not a highschool jock telling you to get out of that chair.

If it was me in the situation, I wouldn't have said anything at first and just smiled .. and if she said it again, I'd be like, I got a better seat for you-- "where?" on my lap.. When people go to bars or parties, they are looking to have fun. It's very likely she was sitting ther ebut more than that she probably wanted to engage in conversation with you.

Recently I was vacuuming the inside of my daily driver (which is just an SUV, nothing fancy), and I wasn't paying attention to this girl who pulled up to use the spot next to me which has its own vacuum..(they hang off of some overhang downwards)..After a bit I got the feeling she was paying attention to me.. but I was still focused on cleaning my car, detailing it nicely.. I went back to grab the vacuum for some parts I missed but as I turn I seen she blatantly took my vacuum (whichis between her car and mine but each spot has its own on the right side)-- and I could already tell why she did it.. She wanted to strike a conversation. Turns out I was right since after I told her- shse like oh I didnt know there was another one (but she did because she was using it the whole time). as I got near done, I struck up a convo with her and she later admitted she just did that to talk to me. I acted like I didnt know but It wasn't rocket science.. I already knew.

A smile and a cute little flirtacion goes a long way.. Yes, you fumbled this and I think she wsas interested and had told everyone, hence why people started acting weird when you got mad and defensive. Good luck in the future homie.

P.S. The more I spend time on heree and read other peoples posts, I realize man this place is not an ideal forum to ask men questions. ALot of these dudes are clueless.. Just hit my DM's like some of these intelligent gentleman do. I'm always down to help people out.. I get pretty lengthy in my responses sometimes so you can pickup alot of knowledge.

 

[Clockwerk50]

It sounded like you got mad, and if this was perceived by me it was probably perceived by the group.

Dating, flirting, bars, talking to women etc should be about having fun, being playful and not taking yourself too seriously. It sounded like you got offended and killed the vibe.

 

[The Duke]

OP, I think this was low interest. Her body language showed it, she told you she had to go. Sometimes girls cave(took you to meet her friends)because it's the path of least resistance and they don't want to upset and cause a problem. What else was she going to say that was more pleasant than NO?

Also there's a dynamic called competition anxiety. Sometimes when one girl sees you with another it increases your value as was the likely the case here with the first girl.

When that happens you play your cards right down the middle. Flirt with both. Always keep it light and fun and you will keep yourself in the game.

 

[Serenity]

@anour you can stop tagging everyone, if they're interested they'll see your thread, if they're not they'll still see your thread and just ignore it.

 

[Learning Curve]

Dj’s

i just came out of a bar, met this stunning beauty. I approached her and we begin small talk. Once we begin small talk, she comes closer, she then points her feet outwards like she wants to exit, it kept happening back & forth for a little while. We still vibing and i see a tattoo on her written with my language, i ask her if she knows my language, she replies just a few words. She then says she has to go back to her friends, she says they’re on an exchange too (they’re on a university exchange, i am a uni student) i was like let’s go and meet your friends.

We go and i start talking to her friends, she leaves to get something to eat. I am connecting with her friends, i keep it playful. She then comes back after a while and tells me to get up from the chair as it is her chair, i reply no go get a new chair. “For some reason i got irritated like wtf why would you say that, i would say this is an overreaction from me but nevertheless felt disrespectful. Mindset change perhaps?” After that i got up and here is where i fumbled -> i started playing with my phone for a bit and everybody just became silent. One of the girls was really engaged with me and i told her what’s your instagram literally infront of the girl who i approached like 5 mins ago she writes it down and doesn’t follow me (discovered that later,but from here downhill) i started saying that i have to go after that, and said bye to everybody, and then said bye to the girl i approached she started eying me up and down. I then left.

This by far has been the most irrational & illogical move i have ever done with women. Clearly the woman i approached was interested because she let the conversation go on + let me speak to her friends. I however ****ed myself up after that chair thing.

My question DJ’s is how do you handle such fumbles? How do you prevent them from happening?

Hey dude.

You are too much in your head. Your approach is robotic is not free-spirit.

You are thinking your each move and what to do so you can hold a strong frame. I understand that you are in the learning phase and this is how I was 10 years ago. I don't judge you.

But you have to understand that women can sense a guy from miles away who is pretending or using games to show a strong frame.

I never actually believed that until I had a few chicks tell me this even after I banged them.

Regarding your post.

Going with her to meet her friends, is not a good idea. Grab a phone or Instagram and leave. You could go yes I had situations that it worked out. But usually, it's a waste of time.

Her friends can c0ck block you, and waste your time especially if she is an attraction wh0re. Which you don't know yet as you just met her.

I never go with her friends only if she is my gf to the point that i banged her enough times, and she told me she wants exclusivity then maybe i will go and meet her friends.

Her: Get up from the chair as it is my chair
You: There is a chair next to you (Smile) (indifferent not butthurt as we discussed previously)

Silence in games is not bad. If you have an awkward silence keep it for a few moments.

I had a chick sh1test me once like this in the car, she was not talking at all. I stopped talking for 40 minutes and eventually, she cracked and started blowing her mouth like a frog.

Watch some comedy shows, and keep some jokes that you can crack with ch1icks i used that to break awkward silences not always but at the right time.

 

[characternote]

she was never into you. It was never gonna happen with that particular girl no matter whose 'advice' you followed. You just weren't her 'type'.
If she was really a super hot uni stunner it's 99% likely none of the people giving you advice would have got her either lol

OP, I think this was low interest.

yep

You Should have moved onto a new girl earlier and not wasted time. Get better at reading micro signals

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

When people go to bars or parties, they are looking to have fun. It's very likely she was sitting ther ebut more than that she probably wanted to engage in conversation with you.

Some people don't understand when a woman is teasing or testing.

 

[Smooth_texter]

Dj’s

i just came out of a bar, met this stunning beauty. I approached her and we begin small talk. Once we begin small talk, she comes closer, she then points her feet outwards like she wants to exit, it kept happening back & forth for a little while.

Hi Anour.

I get that this woman was stunning or way beyond what you are used to. Thus you were excited and emotionally invested.

However, always trust what you see, not what you hear. Regardless if you have known her for 10 minutes or 20 years. In this case, I think that she was not that interested sexually.

Also, I think that you lost focus and instead of vibing and escalating, you went to make friends with every single member of her social circle. It's good to introduce yourself (in order for them to know that you aren't a creep and to pre-emptively prevent a **** block from her friends).

But afterwards you should isolate her, not try to entertain everybody.