OK, so I'd like to hear some advice from you guys.
I've been with this girl for 5 years now. For the most part, I like her a lot and I think we have a solid relationship.
For the first year we lived separately and we saw each other about 4 times a week. Then we moved in together for a short period of time until she had to move to another city about 50 miles away because of work. Since she moved out we see each other every weekend, and during vacations (christmas and summer), she moves back to my place and we spend a month or so together.
Anyway, so my problem is mainly in those periods where we are living together. She's like constantly in a bad mood. Everything gets her off.
Some years ago she had a roommate and she drove the poor roommate nuts. For example she would scream at her if she as much as forgot to put a new roll of toilet paper when she finished, or if she didn't fill up the water heater for tea when it was empty. And she's that way with me as well - she doesn't tolerate any mistakes or anything out of place.
For example if I mistakenly buy eggs at the store without realizing we have enough eggs left, she gets mad. Things like that. And she criticizes everything I do - like how I prepare my food, how I dress, etc. She's like this with everybody, even her family doesn't want to spend time with her because of that attitude. And she's a clean freak. She literally takes 2-3 showers every single day and she takes out the bleach and starts scrubbing like crazy every time there's as much as a speck of dust in the bath tub or on the bathroom mirror.
And that's when she's at home, when she's away at work she gets depressed if a customer or coworker is even in the slightest rude to her (to the point where she has to take pills to be able to sleep or else she's just too depressed). This without realizing the hypocrisy of her being rude to others over the smallest thing.
I did talk to her about this problem, and she recognizes that she has an issue, but she seems to think that there's no way to fix it - she blames the fact that her parents were super strict with her (repeatedly beating her up when she was a small kid for something as innocent as using too much water to clean the dishes). Apparently the trauma it seems makes her super intolerant of anything that's not short of perfect.
I have the impression that she's either pissed off about something, or depressed about something.
So what do you guys think? After 5 years we're very emotionally invested in each other so I can't just say "bye" like that and walk away. And despite her issues she has a lot of redeeming qualities that, I think, are difficult to find in a woman.
I've been with this girl for 5 years now. For the most part, I like her a lot and I think we have a solid relationship.
For the first year we lived separately and we saw each other about 4 times a week. Then we moved in together for a short period of time until she had to move to another city about 50 miles away because of work. Since she moved out we see each other every weekend, and during vacations (christmas and summer), she moves back to my place and we spend a month or so together.
Anyway, so my problem is mainly in those periods where we are living together. She's like constantly in a bad mood. Everything gets her off.
Some years ago she had a roommate and she drove the poor roommate nuts. For example she would scream at her if she as much as forgot to put a new roll of toilet paper when she finished, or if she didn't fill up the water heater for tea when it was empty. And she's that way with me as well - she doesn't tolerate any mistakes or anything out of place.
For example if I mistakenly buy eggs at the store without realizing we have enough eggs left, she gets mad. Things like that. And she criticizes everything I do - like how I prepare my food, how I dress, etc. She's like this with everybody, even her family doesn't want to spend time with her because of that attitude. And she's a clean freak. She literally takes 2-3 showers every single day and she takes out the bleach and starts scrubbing like crazy every time there's as much as a speck of dust in the bath tub or on the bathroom mirror.
And that's when she's at home, when she's away at work she gets depressed if a customer or coworker is even in the slightest rude to her (to the point where she has to take pills to be able to sleep or else she's just too depressed). This without realizing the hypocrisy of her being rude to others over the smallest thing.
I did talk to her about this problem, and she recognizes that she has an issue, but she seems to think that there's no way to fix it - she blames the fact that her parents were super strict with her (repeatedly beating her up when she was a small kid for something as innocent as using too much water to clean the dishes). Apparently the trauma it seems makes her super intolerant of anything that's not short of perfect.
I have the impression that she's either pissed off about something, or depressed about something.
So what do you guys think? After 5 years we're very emotionally invested in each other so I can't just say "bye" like that and walk away. And despite her issues she has a lot of redeeming qualities that, I think, are difficult to find in a woman.
