She thinks I'm only after sex

Ice_Berg_1

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I had 1 date with an HB about 3 weeks ago that never got to physical, just a goodnight kiss. We have spoke once or twice a week since the date, it's usually me calling her to arrange another date. We were supposed to hook up this past weekend but she had to cancel as she got called into work. She told me to call her the following day so we could get together, I wasn't able to call her untill later in the evening. I suggested that she come over to my place and keep me company since it was a rainy Sunday evening there was not much else to do. She declined though, saying she was too tired. So I politely let her go and told her to call me when she got chance.
About 5 days later she calls me, and like a typical woman the first thing she says is "why haven't you called me?" This HB is used to having men or should I say AFC's chase her, so it took her by surprise that I actually have the willpower to next a chick if I sense any type of "flakiness" from them.
Whenever I have conversations with this chick I always try to be C/F, which she loves, she is always telling me "you're so funny."
and whenever the opportunity presents itself I try to bring some sexual innuendo into our discussions, it's always indirect and in good fun, or so I thought, because alot of times she will mention things to me out of the blue that are of a sexual nature.
So this brings us to our most recent coversation where she basically told me that she thinks I'm only trying to get into her pants and that was the reason I invited her to come over last weekend. Basically she was accusing me of having bad intentions.
I know for sure that she is into me but I'm not sure if this was just B/S test or if she really feels this way and wants me to work harder for it, which of course an AFC I'm not and she will have to work for me! But I feel that if I slow things down completely and avoid all talk of anything of a sexual nature this could possibly land me the dreaded "friends category" If this was 4 0r 5 years ago I would have just nexted this chick, but now I use my desires for motivation and fuel for excitement, plus I have a few f@*k buddies so I'm not hurting for sex. I dont know, what do you guys think? Anyone had success with these types before?
 

Knicknack

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you are acting kinda AFC by accepting her flakiness of canceling dates and not being willing to set up another. you need to get off the phone and see her in person. i bet she's very close to putting you in the friend zone, if she hasn't already.
 

masterp

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Originally posted by Ice_Berg_1
So this brings us to our most recent coversation where she basically told me that she thinks I'm only trying to get into her pants and that was the reason I invited her to come over last weekend.
I would have tried to C&F my way around that one, eg "Honey, you've got a way to go before I consider you worthy of that privilege!"
 

JT47319

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Actually, maybe it sounds like you’re overdoing it on the C&F. Once you’ve established the initial attraction, the next phases of seduction require that she feel some sort of emotional attraction/bond/connection with you. If she’s ****-testing you with a line like that, then that means you need to hit her back on an emotional level. That you and her do have an emotional connection. What this does is it lowers her ASD because then she won’t feel like she’s being used for sex (which she is). She then feels that she’s INVESTED in the relationship.

You’ve got to pull her into your reality, show her your world and make her connect with you. Most females have weak realities which is why they fall for men with dominant realities. Be they *******s or players, they all have much stronger realities than AFCs.
 

masterp

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Actually, I agree with that too, having said what I already said. It may depend on how directly the girl said this to you. It would be a tough call for me to try to lighten it up, or get into the issue to clear it up. How harshly she brought it up would probably make the difference.
 

Phonenix DJ

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Walk away!

I was in a situation where the girl said the same thing!

I said: "come over so you can clean my room! (in a joking way), then she said: "you want me to go to your room so you can "get into" my pants!

In fact, there`s attraction! At least in my case! YOu were Cf and she was cf in her comeback.

BUT

For what I'm "seeing", this girl is a Ho! Walk away. If she was really,really interested she would have gone out with you!
ANd When you stop calling her, she calls you back! Its a reaction, it doesnt mean shes interested!

There are contradictions here. Walkaway (if you can),Its hard, but if you dont do it, shes gone toy with you!

I've been there! I knew I girl that had a BF but kept flirting with me. I called her just once. After 3 WEEKS, she calls me all motivated, like trying to get my interest!....

WALK AWAY!
 

legolas

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Originally posted by JT47319
What this does is it lowers her ASD because then she won’t feel like she’s being used for sex (which she is).
How do you know that she doesn't actually enjoy it too? :D Bad assumption if you go with this. You have to assume that she likes sex too instead of her being used for sex. She brought up that thing about him getting into her pants, probably to test him. But I agree with the JT that the emotional connection wasn't there so she was testing.
 

backbreaker

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i'm going to tell you to do something that I am sure no one here will agree with..

Tell her that you aren't really interested in a long term relationship, and just looking to have fun.

why? What in the hell do you have to loose. Hell, she might even mess around and think you have balls. Right now, I don't think sees you any different than the AFC guys who you say chase her all the time.
 

DEKKA

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to me there is no "accepting" or "not accepting" flaky behavior. if i ask a chick out or whatever and we go on a date, then afterwards she cancels another get together i give her my number and let it ride. balls in her court. if her IL is there she'll gimme a call and we can hang otherwise se la vie. thats the attitude everyone should have concerning it.

you didn't didn't have to say anything about her flaking on you(you should be indifferent to her flaking on you.. if she wants to then fine), and in doing that you've handled the situation in the best way you can.

if you believe excuses to be legit then you can give her a little more leeway, also if your IL is very high in her you can press forward with a little more force and make her accept what you already want- a relationship with you.

gl

-J
 

Don't always be the one putting yourself out for her. Don't always be the one putting all the effort and work into the relationship. Let her, and expect her, to treat you as well as you treat her, and to improve the quality of your life.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Ice_Berg_1

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I guess I should have gotten into more detail. When I said she was accusing me of only trying to get into her pants I didn't mean that she actually said this, she was beating around the bush but I got got the hint. I also did not call her out on her flakiness, I just came to this conclusion based on my own ego, she actually did call me from her work so I guess it was a legitimate excuse to cancel our date. Also I should have mentioned that my response to her accusation was "to get her mind out of the gutter I was simply offering her my company, I need dinner and a movie before I put out" Don't worry boys I've got the C/F stuff down. Also to knickknack's reply the only reason I call is to setup future dates, not just for the sake of flufftalk, so your advice stinks, you don't know what you're talking about. As far as making an emotional connection I knew somebody was going to suggest that, as far as I'm concerned we already established that on the first date. With this in mind some more reply's would be cool, also since my original post she called me trying to make plans.
 

So pimp its scary

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My latest FB has been doing that to me...

- We met at the bar; walked her home; got a ride to my place with my roommate, who she kicked out of the car; made out for about 30 min, then she gave me a BJ. (No sex because of ASD)

- A few days later, go to her friends place, friend leaves for 'date', we watch a movie, then we start making out, we look for a condom, the she finds one. Then she says, "I know what we'll do, I just won't have sex with you. Because you'll think bad of me." I replied, "Why would I think bad of you, we both know that we both want to have sex... so what is the problem?" "Nothing."

- That sunday, she calls me. "..... I'm at my friends place, can I come pick you up in half an hour?" I reply, "I could walk there in 5 min." Her "Don't worry, I'll be there in half an hour." After which, she brought me to her place where we had sex all night.

- The next time we talk, she says that I'm just using her for sex.

---------------

What I did was :

- I told her that she was probably using me for sex.
- I told her she was being rediculous
- And that I would show her that I wasn't just using her for sex...Although I am.

All it took was 1 sexless date to prove it, when we went out last night (which was spur of the moment because she is trying to make a BF out of me... Good friggin' luck. ). Then our planned date tonight, she just said she couldn't handle it without cause I turn her on too much.
 

DJ Alejandro

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next time, respond with;

-when she talks about you just using her for sex..

hey! you brought it up first!

-and for you So Pimp, how'd u respond to the last one?

i would've said that

she was the one picking me up. ans SHE would be the one using me. [in a funny way, of course.]
 
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