She stood me up, do I call?

[white sox bill]

Show for the session and tell her not to feel bad about missing the date because you, too, got caught up in work and therefore "missed" the date.

Espi I thought of that one too but---the aerobics instructor saw me walk thru the gym around the time aerobics was going on, so if this bimbo ever quizzed her(the instructor) on me being there, I'm busted!!

 

[white sox bill]

Espi I thought of that one too but---the aerobics instructor saw me walk thru the gym around the time aerobics was going on, so if this bimbo ever quizzed her(the instructor) on me being there, I'm busted!!

Then again maybe I could go with this slightly blemished story that I came thru gym at that time because I wanted see if she wanted to see a different movie on the pre-arranged THURSDAY night (really it was Tuesday pm). I could even be red faced about it myself. That might work....

 

[timeforacatnap]

Girl's brain: "hey he doesn't even have the balls to call me on my crap. what a little boy."

on the other hand your reacting to her crap....so her mental frame could be 'hey now i've got him doing what i want'

if you really want to call her on her crap...


'hey sorry i didnt make the date, i was busy with some friends and went over time, totally forgot.'



to be hoenst though, non-reactiveness is key, do not respond to her crap.

girls flake for all sorts of reasons if you react your telling her she made the right choice by flaking.

the worse is to go out of your way to punish her, especially if you dont really know her...why, its spiteful, selfish and shows that she is so importnat to you that you've ;et her govern your reactions. more over, by doing that your showing that you cleared all your friends and faily to be with her and that you ahve no life other than her so to speak, thus, you are actully putting alot of responsibility on her, and she probably doesnt want that, she has her own life...she aint gonna put it on hold for you, and neither should you for her...until the deed is done.


www.dynamicdatinglifestyle.com
www.myspace.com/timeforacatnap

 

[white sox bill]

Quick update---I gave her the old "I thought it was Thursday PM instead of Tuesday PM" line, therefore neutralizing her flake. I thought I detected another possible flake for Thursday PM in her voice when I said that we could talk about it during Wednsday's session. I said nothing about it.

So I got this offer to sub in a softball league, so I just called her and left the message on her VM that something came up and that I couldn't make it tonight (wasn't in cement anyway). Besides, playing ball sounds better than her!! So I guess I flaked on her LOL!

Anyway guys, I may field test a unconventional strategy on her---I will tell her that if we go out, we will go AS FRIENDS. Will tell her I have enough prospects (which I do) on the line and don't need anymore. many many yrs ago I tried this and totally blew this girls mind!! Told her she couldn't handle a stud like me, I wouldn't be able to get rid of her, I'd have to get my phone # changed, she was soooo thrown off kilter it was hilarious! I ended up sleeping with her later on LOL!

I will report down the road what happens! I'm basically disqualifing her anyway since she appears to have honesty issues---a gym staffer told me she was getting in for free for several weeks after her ttrial one expired and I see onlined that she was arrested for retail theft 2 yrs ago! Maybe i should next her right now!

 

[WesCottII]

How about "Hey, no worries. I made plans with a someone else. We got in a bit late, but she didn't have work the next day and neither did I". Then tell some funny story about the ace time you had.

 

[white sox bill]

Guys heres an update on this one who at first no-showed on me, then called me 3 hrs later claiming to be ill blah blah. The day after her flake, I told her we would try the next PM for same date. Only this time I called her 3 hrs BEFORE the date and cancelled LOL! I'm sure it p*ssed her off.

So almost 2 weeks passed, I didn't see her at the gym, I figured "next". Then out of the blue she calls wanting me to train her again. I wait 2 weeks ask her to hockey game, she blushed, turns head down, says (once again) "I don't know". This didn't stop me. The next night she stayed a full hour after aerobics class talking to me about sex, whatever. This sure didn't sound like a woman who wants to "rid" herself of someone. I know I had to move in SLOW!

So after 3 weeks more of seducing her, busting her on her sh*t, teasing her, I made my move. I had her alone in the aerobics room, where I rubbed her back and shoulders for about 30 minutes. Then when she went to get up I simply hugged her first then procedded to make out with her for about 10 minutes. I knew unlike some of the other ones I've had, sex wasn't in the picture with her. So I kept it a make out session.

She's definatly shy...I asked her to my company's Christmas party. I need to get her out of the gym enviroment to fvck her.

Anyway just wanted to share this experience with you all. I'm not in her pants yet, but have a good start. Had I given up, this wouldn't be happening. I simply read her buying signals DESPITE her initial flake. I had a GUT feeling that she dug me. I think her flake job may have to do with her shyness. Will keep you posted.
Bill

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Good story. A word of advice, be sure she has moved out of 'flake' mode before the party. The last thing you want is woman playing games in front of your coworkers.

 

[white sox bill]

Good story. A word of advice, be sure she has moved out of 'flake' mode before the party. The last thing you want is woman playing games in front of your coworkers.

Good point Francisco...I would be more worried about her no showing on me. Thats why I would like to take her someplace BEFORE the Christmas party.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Good point Francisco...I would be more worried about her no showing on me. Thats why I would like to take her someplace BEFORE the Christmas party.

That is a good idea.

 

[Krassus]

Don't call. Duh.

 

[Bigg Boss]

Why the hell wouldn't you call?

As soon as you find that you are stood up, you need to call and be like WTF. Don't be too accepting about it, but don't be a total ass. Just send off the vibe that you aren't so happy about the fact that you just wasted your time.

 

[grinder]

Thanks for the follow-up on this one wsb, its good to see things don't always play out so simply....well, just like real life. So many would be so quick to yell "NEXT", but I disagree.

Its interesting, you took your laser-beam spotlight off her for a few weeks and surprise, surprise, she made herself more interested, ran to where your new focus was.

It would have been so easy to say "fvck you biotch" but you never took yourself out of the game, showed class. That's DJ.

She's still a flake though, but sh*t, that's half the fun.

 

[izza]

I've said this on another thread.

My rule of thumb is this: If I am willing to take full responsibility for the time wasted if she doesn't show up, I call and set the date. If I would resent her for standing me up, I don't set up the date.

When a girl has flaked on you once, you have a lot more reason to call yourself an idiot if you get burned again. Does what I said make sense?

Now a lot of arrogant people will say to you, "have some pride, don't let her treat you like that, never call her again." On the one hand I agree with them; the BEST thing I have done since coming to this site is eliminate flakes from my life. For the first time, I'm doing a minimal amount of choosing and it feels great.

But on the other hand, life is short. If your gut says take a chance on her, just do it. Be wary of this ego-stroking mentality; a man who is too proud to take some blows of life! Did I say give all flakes as many chances as they want? No. I said give a flake a second chance sometimes. But remember, you knew how good the odds were that she would burn you.

Izza

 

[T Money]

"Weak Game: don't chase them, replace them."

That's good advice.

 

[izza]

Just read your update. With women I am in general way too "patient."

But sometimes, when a girl kinda half rejects me, I give her a little while without speaking to her, then I call again, and she opens up like a flower in spring. It's great.

The success of this method has made me far too passive, but it works sometimes.

 

[Krassus]

"Weak Game: don't chase them, replace them."

That's good advice.

:bowdown:

 

[white sox bill]

Why the hell wouldn't you call?

As soon as you find that you are stood up, you need to call and be like WTF. Don't be too accepting about it, but don't be a total ass. Just send off the vibe that you aren't so happy about the fact that you just wasted your time.

Why wouldn't I call? For the very reason that she WANTED me to call. The more I think about it, the more I'm convinced that this may have been her shyt test. We were supposed to meet at 5:30--turned into 6:30, turned into 7:30, until 8:30 (when she calls). A full 3 hrs later. I assume she may have been thinking "The nerve of him NOT calling me on my sh*t! He shoulda called me 30 minutes after we were to meet like all the other chumps" Then I called and cancelled 2 nights later--that must have really knocked her down a notch.

I know there are plenty of chances she can flake again, but her IL seems quite high. I actually learned some things from AOS book. Great read.

 

[izza]

Why wouldn't I call? For the very reason that she WANTED me to call.

Sorry to rehash an old cliché, but why does it matter if she wanted you to call. I think what matters in this case is what YOU want.

You didn't call her... because she wanted you to. Because if you called you would have lost her stupid little "game"?

When you play games with women, you always lose. You have to rise above the games. That's what being a real man is. If she truly is so bizarre, I don't think you would be interested in her.

 

[white sox bill]

Guys have a small issue here that has popped up---Last Saturday her and her GF left for a 4 day vacation. I told her to call me when she arrived at the resort in Tucson, and then call me when she arrived back so I know her flights both ways went OK. Well, she TM'ed me on Saturday, but haven't heard nothing from her yet--she was due to get back 2 days ago. I'm sure she made it home OK...haven't heard of any plane crashes! And yesterday was my birthday to boot...she knew this. I expected her to come back with a card and maybe small gift, but haven't heard or seen anything yet!

Is this a shyt test? Maybe similair to our botched first date when she failed to show but called 3 hrs later? Is she testing me to see if I am "sincere" enough to care to call her to check on her arrival?

 

[grinder]

I can say this because I have been there too: but, you know she's a flake already, right? So, you also know you can NEVER figure out what a flake's words or actions mean.

Whether she got you a card or not for your birthday is not the measure of whether she cares or not.

The harsh truth is: SHE PROBABLY NEVER CARED AND NEVER WILL.

Move on.

Sorry, somebody had to say it.