She skipped the "Party phase"

[SW15]

We now need @SW15 to explain to you about the expiration date of LTR's.

Remember, she contemplated this long before telling you. There could be a million reasons why she bring this up, varying from another man to a slvtty girlfriend. You dont wanna interrogate her about the why's and what's , as it will only drag you deeper into a state of insecurity.

It looks like I never explained the idea of the expiration date of LTRs on this thread. In my 12,000+ posts on this forum, it is the one idea that I am most well known for promoting.

Based on observation and evidence from social science, I believe the shelf life of goodness in an LTR is around 5 years and that only happens if the man has a decent frame. It doesn't matter how long the relationship lasts in total, only the first 5 years were typically the good years. There are plenty of relationships that last around 10-15 years in total but the back half of those relationships were basically a zombie period for the relationship.

After 5 years, there is going to be some level of frame decay on the man's part. The woman will lose some attraction after frame decay. Sometimes, what's left after frame decay warrants keeping the relationship alive. The more common outcome is that the relationship is subpar to awful after the 5 year mark. Longevity of a relationship is not an indicator of quality.

In "Pregnancy Announcements Everywhere", my main social cohort (friends + acquaintances as offshoots of those friends) are all people in relationships that are about 7-15 years long as of this writing in May 2024. Frame decay has happened in all of these existing relationships and none of them have called it quits yet, though multiple people in that thread have complained to me about the quality of their relationships. The ones that haven't complained to me have likely kept thoughts of dissatisfaction to themselves.

Pregnancy Announcements Everywhere! Life When Your Blue Pill Social Circle Starts Having Babies

Yesterday, I was on my Instagram and saw a pregnancy announcement from an acquaintance's wife in my social circle. I don't particularly like her. I find it annoying to be around her the 1-2 times a year I ever randomly see her in person. Right now, there are 3 women from my local area social...

www.sosuave.net

Update: divorce filed July 2023. Since we split for real, life has bene very good. Finished 3 volumes of Rational Male, passed on copies as gifts.

Thank you for the update. That was likely the best choice you could make given where the relationship stood in 2023.

she postponed the party phase.

I have seen this happen before. I know a man and woman who got together and started an LTR when he was 25 and she was 18. They eventually married. She filed for divorce at 29. I think she felt the pressure of turning 30 soon and she felt she had been missing something by getting into an LTR at 18 and staying in it throughout her 20s. Frame decay had happened her marriage. She wisely didn't have children in that 10+ year long LTR that comprised most of her 20s. I think she ultimately knew that it wasn't going to work long before she officially quit at 29. She probably knew by 26-27 that she wasn't going to stick around forever, so she made sure not to get pregnant and not to have baggage in the next phase of her life. She was savvy to play her cards that way.

While I haven't had direct contact with her in many years, I heard through mutual acquaintances that she got either engaged or re-married last year at age 36. She probably had a lot of fun from 29-33 as a newly freed woman and then eventually got serious with someone around 32-33 or so. Part of that time coincided with a global pandemic which affected starting new mating interactions for a good 2 year period too.

 

[NewBryan2022]

Very

It looks like I never explained the idea of the expiration date of LTRs on this thread. In my 12,000+ posts on this forum, it is the one idea that I am most well known for promoting.

Based on observation and evidence from social science, I believe the shelf life of goodness in an LTR is around 5 years and that only happens if the man has a decent frame. It doesn't matter how long the relationship lasts in total, only the first 5 years were typically the good years. There are plenty of relationships that last around 10-15 years in total but the back half of those relationships were basically a zombie period for the relationship.

After 5 years, there is going to be some level of frame decay on the man's part. The woman will lose some attraction after frame decay. Sometimes, what's left after frame decay warrants keeping the relationship alive. The more common outcome is that the relationship is subpar to awful after the 5 year mark. Longevity of a relationship is not an indicator of quality.

In "Pregnancy Announcements Everywhere", my main social cohort (friends + acquaintances as offshoots of those friends) are all people in relationships that are about 7-15 years long as of this writing in May 2024. Frame decay has happened in all of these existing relationships and none of them have called it quits yet, though multiple people in that thread have complained to me about the quality of their relationships. The ones that haven't complained to me have likely kept thoughts of dissatisfaction to themselves.

Pregnancy Announcements Everywhere! Life When Your Blue Pill Social Circle Starts Having Babies

Yesterday, I was on my Instagram and saw a pregnancy announcement from an acquaintance's wife in my social circle. I don't particularly like her. I find it annoying to be around her the 1-2 times a year I ever randomly see her in person. Right now, there are 3 women from my local area social...

www.sosuave.net

Thank you for the update. That was likely the best choice you could make given where the relationship stood in 2023.



I have seen this happen before. I know a man and woman who got together and started an LTR when he was 25 and she was 18. They eventually married. She filed for divorce at 29. I think she felt the pressure of turning 30 soon and she felt she had been missing something by getting into an LTR at 18 and staying in it throughout her 20s. Frame decay had happened her marriage. She wisely didn't have children in that 10+ year long LTR that comprised most of her 20s. I think she ultimately knew that it wasn't going to work long before she officially quit at 29. She probably knew by 26-27 that she wasn't going to stick around forever, so she made sure not to get pregnant and not to have baggage in the next phase of her life. She was savvy to play her cards that way.

While I haven't had direct contact with her in many years, I heard through mutual acquaintances that she got either engaged or re-married last year at age 36. She probably had a lot of fun from 29-33 as a newly freed woman and then eventually got serious with someone around 32-33 or so. Part of that time coincided with a global pandemic which affected starting new mating interactions for a good 2 year period too.

Good stuff. Meanwhile, I have really enjoyed being in the dating game while deep-studying the manosphere. After 18 months and 3 girlfriends found a girl who keeps me surfing the razor-thin edge of "ONE-itis" which is where I want to be right now. She is 20, fit, feminine, friendly, she loves the 2 kids whom the ex-wife ran away from, and has no kids of her own. We have a 27 year age gap. But here - big deal. Obviously, I'm not living in the West.

 

[SW15]

Obviously, I'm not living in the West.

Yes, you make a good point about not living in the West.

One of my favorite Manosphere articles is below. While this author and I don't always agree on topics, I do think his "9 paths" framework is accurate.

The Only 9 Options for Men as They Age - Alpha Male 2.0

-By Caleb Jones As I’ve discussed before, most men, even Alpha Males, have no intention on being players for the rest of their lives. At some point, even the horniest players will want to “settle down” in some form or fashion. Today I’m going to...

alphamale20.com

One of the paths being a man from a Western nation and relocating to somewhere in Eastern Europe, Latin America, or Asia. You chose Asia with the Philippines, a common destination for Western men who are fed up with dating Western women.

I think my "expiration date on LTRs" idea with the approximate 5 years shelf life of goodness is more applicable in the setting of a Western nation. I made this observation based on the sexual marketplace conditions of the United States. I am a United States resident with limited travel experience so almost all of my sexual marketplace experience is in the United States. My United States experience is going to affect how I perceive mating.

We have a 27 year age gap.

In a Western nation, it's very difficult to get a 27 year age gap. It would typically happen with a lot of money or a confirmed sugar daddy type arrangement. Sugar daddy type arrangements in the West tend to also be shorter term.

Getting a 10-15 year age gap in the United States is quite challenging. I'm in my early 40s right now so someone in their early 30s is a 10 year age difference for me right now.

If I were to date a woman with around a 20 year age difference right now, that's a woman who is in her early 20s. She might be finishing up her junior or senior year of college right now.

She is 20, fit, feminine, friendly, she loves the 2 kids whom the ex-wife ran away from, and has no kids of her own.

In the United States, few 20 year olds are like that. In the United States, most 20 year old women are childless. Teen pregnancy rates in the USA have been decreasing since the 1990s.

I can't imagine a childless 20 year old in the USA enjoying interacting with the 2 children of a 35+ year old single dad.

When I was interacting with women around age 20, it was back when I was in college and they were in college. There's a great thread on this board about college sex lives in United States universities. It's mainly focused on larger party universities (mainly public universities). I attended university between 2001-2005 so some parts of my experience might be dated at this point.

Observations about college sex life from someone that went to a party school.

I thought I'd share this as someone who went to a party school and was in a fraternity there as well. Not wanting to give too much about myself but I went to UGA and graduated a few years ago. While Athens has its hot girls, I do feel like the quality got worse every year due to the admission...

www.sosuave.net