She skipped the "Party phase"

[NewBryan2022]

Wife turned 30 and went berserk. She went rapidly through epiphany to security phase. Talks about wanting to live the party phase but already too old.

I met her she was 18, married at 20.

Anybody here experience this?

 

[jaymbrs]

Correction, she postponed the party phase. And no, I have not experienced that. I imagine it's incredibly frustrating and will more than likely not end well.

 

[CyrusTheGreat]

That's bad news. In other words, she's telling you she thinks she has wasted her party years with you, and now she wants to make up for that.

If you don't have kids, your best bet is to eject. Otherwise, One thing you can do here is to agree and amplify. Agree with her and tell her *you* want to go out, live your life and have fun. Start hitting the gym, look better, and spend less time with her. Let her hamstring spin...

 

[Ricky]

Happened to my friend from undergrad. He had a prom baby with a woman i went to high school with. When we finish undergrad he married her and his son was already 4 or so. They have two more kids and then around 8 years post marriage she feels like she missed her fun stage and goes out on me and starts cheating on him

 

[The Duke]

Wife turned 30 and went berserk. She went rapidly through epiphany to security phase. Talks about wanting to live the party phase but already too old.

I met her she was 18, married at 20.

Anybody here experience this?

Does she want to party with you or a bunch of her single girlfriends?

Edit....wait a minute in the other thread you say you married a chaotic bar girl???

 

[bat soup]

Wife turned 30 and went berserk. She went rapidly through epiphany to security phase. Talks about wanting to live the party phase but already too old.

I met her she was 18, married at 20.

Anybody here experience this?

You let her talk?

 

[ThisIsSparta]

As it seems she is not going to listen to reasoning from your side at this point.

That means you have 1 option left aside from waiting to be cheated on, dread game.

Get into the best shape possible, expand your social circle with attractive women, become mysterious. Not over the year 2023 but NOW!

If she really kicks off her partying, tell her if she stops behaving like a wife, you will stop behaving like a husband. Dont get into any prolonged argument about that, just tell her it is what it is(set the frame). This and the subtile changes you made to yourself, should get her brain rattling.

If she doesnt come around at that point, take away as many levers your wife has on you as possible (social, financial...... depending on family laws on the Phil.).
Indirectly make her know that you would walk away if she was hanging out with other men, cheating, cucking you and set yourself up (mentally, financially etc.) to walk away at any point to radiate it and be convincing.

You are not going to win this by being understanding and compliant to her wishes.
If you wish for peace, prepare for war.

 

[corsica]

For her to think she can party at 30, it's because she thinks she's still attractive.

I'm guessing you might be at a similar age. For a man, it can be a peak. Hit the gym and find a younger girl. The closer to 20, the better long term.

You have way more chance of upgrading your wife than her finding somebody. Use her "need" to have fun as the perfect excuse of excusing yourself from the marriage. Do an amicable divorce so you don't get screwed financially and upgrade to a younger woman.

Look at your situation as an solution, not as a problem.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

For her to think she can party at 30, it's because she thinks she's still attractive.

I'm guessing you might be at a similar age. For a man, it can be a peak. Hit the gym and find a younger girl. The closer to 20, the better long term.

You have way more chance of upgrading your wife than her finding somebody. Use her "need" to have fun as the perfect excuse of excusing yourself from the marriage. Do an amicable divorce so you don't get screwed financially and upgrade to a younger woman.

Look at your situation as an solution, not as a problem.

He is 46 and has 2 kids..... so divorce might not be the first choice of a solution.

 

[2Rocky]

Hell I experienced this....At age 21 I married and had 2 kids in the next 3 years. All I did was work and raise a family. I turn 33 and start doing sports with folks my age. Go to the bar after a game, **** i never realized how fun this was. I was pretty tame in college.

 

[Gamisch]

Wife turned 30 and went berserk. She went rapidly through epiphany to security phase. Talks about wanting to live the party phase but already too old.

I met her she was 18, married at 20.

Anybody here experience this?

Bad news. Women at 30 still have a somewhat youthful look, and it's basically her last change to give in to women's hypergamous nature. As an outsider it's easy to tell you " it's not personal ".

We now need @SW15 to explain to you about the expiration date of LTR's.

I do have experience with this unfortunately. A 30 y.o woman is one of the most difficult things to handle for a (bluepilled) man.

As it seems she is not going to listen to reasoning from your side at this point.

That means you have 1 option left aside from waiting to be cheated on, dread game.

Get into the best shape possible, expand your social circle with attractive women, become mysterious. Not over the year 2023 but NOW!

If she really kicks off her partying, tell her if she stops behaving like a wife, you will stop behaving like a husband. Dont get into any prolonged argument about that, just tell her it is what it is(set the frame). This and the subtile changes you made to yourself, should get her brain rattling.

If she doesnt come around at that point, take away as many levers your wife has on you as possible (social, financial...... depending on family laws on the Phil.).
Indirectly make her know that you would walk away if she was hanging out with other men, cheating, cucking you and set yourself up (mentally, financially etc.) to walk away at any point to radiate it and be convincing.

You are not going to win this by being understanding and compliant to her wishes.
If you wish for peace, prepare for war.

I agree. NOW is the time to take action. OP must literally take a critical look in the mirror. Do you need an upgrade, stylistically and /or physically? Your mental state of being will be tested right now.

I do believe you can pursue her to make the " right decision " , but you MUST play the game correct. You should use this info to be at least two steps ahead of her. This is love chess,you gotta think 5 steps ahead. That means be open to work it out with her while simultaneously preparing the divorce on the background ( start getting a lawyer, start finding a new place ect). On the other hand you COULD suggest to her you ALSO feel like you wanna party more. Nothing like going to great parties and festivals with you woman. If she declines even this suggestion, come back and tell us about it.

Remember, she contemplated this long before telling you. There could be a million reasons why she bring this up, varying from another man to a slvtty girlfriend. You dont wanna interrogate her about the why's and what's , as it will only drag you deeper into a state of insecurity.

 

[Gamisch]

Happened to my friend from undergrad. He had a prom baby with a woman i went to high school with. When we finish undergrad he married her and his son was already 4 or so. They have two more kids and then around 8 years post marriage she feels like she missed her fun stage and goes out on me and starts cheating on him

You sound the friend we are all looking for...the least honorable feck you can get is this one , from an ex gf from your homie...more honor in fecking a prostitute from the streets.

I can't judge you as I dont know you( even though I really like your name ), and I understand temptation can be too much to resist easy poosy. But c'mon now..y'all Ricky's need to stop thinking with the D!

 

[Ricky]

You sound the friend we are all looking for...the least honorable feck you can get is this one , from an ex gf from your homie...more honor in fecking a prostitute from the streets.

I can't judge you as I dont know you( even though I really like your name ), and I understand temptation can be too much to resist easy poosy. But c'mon now..y'all Ricky's need to stop thinking with the D!

I think you misunderstood. I didn't bang my friends wife. I wouldn't touch her even your d*&k and another sosuave member pushing. I don't mess with married women.

 

[NewBryan2022]

Does she want to party with you or a bunch of her single girlfriends?

Edit....wait a minute in the other thread you say you married a chaotic bar girl???

Right on both. She wants to "be free" got a tat of birds across the left forearm, etc. Distant from the kids.

I cut her off financially when this started, about a year ago. Then, we left Singapore and I moved to California and retired. This is where she went really crazy and flew back to the Philippines within a few days. She had a "parachute account" that foreign women (especially young wives) have.. And used it.

3 months later, I moved to Angeles City Philippines. This is the red light capital of the region, comparable to Pattaya Thailand.

Now it's been 18 months since miss bar girl, turned wife, turned young mom, turned into Epiphany-Security 30yr old.

I live here in Angeles with the 2 kids. Got 3 maids. Life isn't bad. Learned a lot, hit the gym like a psycho, doing fine. Pushed the wife away as far as I could emotionally, physically. She rents a place 5 min away.

Then a crazy thing happened. A month ago total flip - she's lost weight, eyelashes and all that - new clothes. And she's always coming around. Paranoid I'm with another girl. Stalking. Doing better with kids though.

I'm interested in those of you who DEEPLY read and understand RATIONAL MALE series. Is this the "post security phase"?

 

[Machine10033]

The party phase is awesome in your late teens and 20’s for trying to hook up and get as many dopamine hits as you can. Lots of drunken one night stands.... pure excitement.....

I would flat up tell her.... I get it... I will meet with an attorney and we will get the divorce paperwork drawn up. She will want to enter the party with you as an anchor... because she will be afraid of not being able to branch swing... and ending up the single 30 something. Don’t even give her a chance to use you like that !

 

[Machine10033]

Just saw OP is banned ... 5 minutes I will never get back responding

 

[Murk]

Right on both. She wants to "be free" got a tat of birds across the left forearm, etc. Distant from the kids.

I cut her off financially when this started, about a year ago. Then, we left Singapore and I moved to California and retired. This is where she went really crazy and flew back to the Philippines within a few days. She had a "parachute account" that foreign women (especially young wives) have.. And used it.

3 months later, I moved to Angeles City Philippines. This is the red light capital of the region, comparable to Pattaya Thailand.

Now it's been 18 months since miss bar girl, turned wife, turned young mom, turned into Epiphany-Security 30yr old.

I live here in Angeles with the 2 kids. Got 3 maids. Life isn't bad. Learned a lot, hit the gym like a psycho, doing fine. Pushed the wife away as far as I could emotionally, physically. She rents a place 5 min away.

Then a crazy thing happened. A month ago total flip - she's lost weight, eyelashes and all that - new clothes. And she's always coming around. Paranoid I'm with another girl. Stalking. Doing better with kids though.

I'm interested in those of you who DEEPLY read and understand RATIONAL MALE series. Is this the "post security phase"?

She is tired of tourists, locals and OLD aficionados pounds all her holes (maybe at the same time) and realises nobody else wants to wife her up. Imagine leaving your 2 kids to go ride the CC haha. Good luck with this trollop.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Wife turned 30 and went berserk. She went rapidly through epiphany to security phase. Talks about wanting to live the party phase but already too old.

I met her she was 18, married at 20.

Anybody here experience this?

Wait til she turns 40. Good luck with that. Mid life crisis with a woman who feels they have missed out on life is as dangerous as it gets.

 

[NewBryan2022]

Update: divorce filed July 2023. Since we split for real, life has bene very good. Finished 3 volumes of Rational Male, passed on copies as gifts.

 

[Ricky]

I am sorry you got a divorce but good to hear things are going well.